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tw ; a small mention of self-harm in the first line.

 [ don't start the song right now! I will tell you when :) ]

-

You were going to sleep, just as your dad told you. It was late, exactly 1 am right now. You were busy putting medicine and wrapping bandages around your wrist due to the hard training and your cuts. You wrapped yourself against the warm blanket, yet you couldn't sleep. You heard a loud bang coming from your window.

You sighed as you got up, what was that?

You quickly pulled your curtains aside as you saw Dazai, you flinched as you heard him loudly shouting.

"Hey Y/N!"

Slightly conscious, you signalled him to shut up as your index finger came to your mouth, making a "shhh" sound. He nodded happily, you put your 5 fingers up to show him that you needed 5 minutes.

He gave you a thumbs up. You closed your window and the curtains, a weird gut feeling coming in your stomach, what was he doing here at 1 in the morning? Shouldn't he sleep? Of course, Mori told you both to be friends but– You shook your head and sighed, "It's probably something important.."

You wore a jacket and sneaked out of your house, not wanting to ditch him. How did he know where you lived again–?

You came down the stairs in a hurry as he waved at you.

"Wh-What is it you dumbass?" You shivered at the sudden wind rushing by.

"Do you wanna come to see the stars with me?" He asked softly, his voice contained excitement but he didn't want to let that out.

"Huh..? At this time?", your cheeks having a soft evident blush.

"Mhm!" He nodded aggressively.

"Okay..?"

[ you can play the song ]

He dragged you along as you just followed him, not having a single idea about how his mind worked. He would act serious, intimidating, charming and smart, but only to act dumb, adorable, childish and cheerful. It was like he almost had a twin, both having different personalities. Somehow, it made you want to learn more about him.

He got you on top of a small cliff where there were no sounds, just comfortable silence surrounding you both. It was peaceful, something you barely ever felt or saw.

You took a deep breath in, you let it out only to flinch at the sudden warmth you felt behind. He was hugging you.

"D-Dazai?" You asked, still not used to this random acts of affection or kindness. This reminded you of someone and you weren't sure if you liked it or not.

"Sorry- You okay with it? I was just trying to scare you~"

"Well that successfully failed"

"Yep.." He yawned softly which caused you to have a slight grin on your face. A sudden light feeling in your chest.

"Dazai..."

"Hm?" He leaned into you more, you could feel his breath against your ears.

"Step away for a second.."

"Oh sure-"

He stepped back as you looked confused, you weren't sure what you were feeling.

"I feel light?"

He gave you a weird look while you shook your head, you can't open up to people you barely know, what if they tell your dad?

"Nothing."

He nodded understandably, smiling at you to show slight comfort in that you could trust him, the light flutter of your heart leads you to try and copy his smile.

You both sooner or later decided to lie down, you both looked at the stars. They were beautiful, small yet bright. It reminded me of the people laughing, the kids playing and shouting, you weren't sure why did they do that, was there a certain reason? It was impossible for you to remember how it felt to feel what others felt.

You somehow felt relatable to Dazai, he seemed happy, yet, it never seemed real. You were good at reading people and you weren't sure why he acted the way he acted. 

"Dazai, are you sad?" You asked straight-forwardly, not thinking there would be any harm.

He flinched at this sudden random question, "I.. Well, I don't know."

It was somewhat the truth. He wasn't sure how he felt, no matter how heavy and empty he felt, no matter how pressured or pain he was in, he could never cry. Crying meant sadness, right?

"You know if Mori didn't call me, I would be most probably dead by now," You said jokingly even though your stoic voice didn't help and made it less comforting.

He looked at you as if he saw himself in you, "Well, how so?"

"I was trying to kill myself?" You recalled and he nodded his head.

"Ah well.. Same"

A small moment of silence as Dazai spoke up again, "Do you know what are constellations?"

"What?"

"Basically a group of stars that appears to form a pattern or picture"

"I see.." You weren't sure what to say to that, it seemed pretty cool.

"You know, like shapes in the cloud? Have you ever tried forming them?" He asked, trying to continue the conversation.

"I used to, I barely get time to focus on myself now" Your lips parted as you looked above again, you tried making a picture or any shape that came up in your mind. He gave you a curious look while looking above again.

"A heart!" You both exclaimed together, meaning that you both saw the same thing, you looked at each other as he starts laughing and your lips curve into a small smile.

"Well that was a weird coincidence"

"Yeah" You speak, you never had this much fun in years. It didn't seem much but it was for you.

"It's called a Capricornus"

You look at him, "You like stars?"

He looks at you back which causes your eyes to meet, somehow they were full of life. It was almost like two empty beings making each other whole. 

"I like looking at them, they give me.. Inner peace I guess?" He blurts out. You nod your head as in to tell him you were listening while he smiles.

"It's 2am dumbo" You inform him. Time sure passes quickly.

"You feeling sleepy?" He asks.

"No but my dad's gonna kill me" You tell him.

While you try to return and talking about other things you can talk, anything not Port Mafia related.

This was something you both needed.

"Ah well.. Bye! Good night!" He says energetically. You nod and hug him which surprises him, yet he takes this as an opportunity to tease you, "Aw does someone care about me~?"

"No but I like you."

"...."

"I uh, never had a friend in years so.."

"Oh! I am glad then" He smiles.

"We're friends right?"

"Of course," He brings his hand in order to shake which you obliged, the warmth of his made you want to hold on to it later, like it was the only thing that might gave you comfort.

"Goodnight.." You leave him as he goes away, running to your room. You get inside your bed, oh your performance would be bad tomorrow, but this was worth it. You smile and blush remembering his face, it was like he was the sun while you were the moon. But, the sun gets tired too, the moon helps. That was your relationship.

You didn't panic or anything, but soon slept.

You found another importance in life, it was the stars. Reminding you of someone special and making you feel like you weren't alone. You felt peace in the violence, the stars moving, many people looking at it like they were the only ones, yet it connected so many people. The moon symbolising all their emotions together. You could look at it and you will see your loved ones waving from above, Asami especially. 

Maybe Dazai and you could look at each other once in a while?

^-^

Ah well this was my first bonus chapter, I hope you liked it! Sorry I have been feeling really down so yeah.