Book: Don't fall asleep
AUTHOR: WorldwideDerp
โข TOTAL MARKS- โ โชโช
|- โค แดแดสแดs าแดส สแดแดแด
แดส ษชษดแดแดสแดแดแดษชแดษด.
~ 0/5
No interaction took place between you and the reader. I will suggest you promote your stories so that your story could get some readers interaction and as you know readers interaction always help you to make a story better. You can understand what the readers want or which part they liked or not through readers interaction.
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs าแดส สแดแดแด แดแดแด แดส.
~ 1/10
The cover has nothing that will attract a reader at first sight. The cover only contains the name of the book and nothing else. And the black shade with I can't understand what elements you have used in the cover is not at all working with the story. It's an MYG fanfiction so where is our boy Min Yoongi. I will suggest you put the face claim of Min Yoongi on the cover. Maybe you can include a black shadow of a girl sitting on the bed looking out of the window to show Y/n sleep-deprived self and also include Yoongi at the side as it is a Min Yoongi fanfiction. I know all are not good with making cover so there are few shops who only provides covers for Kpop writers so you can order for a good cover there.
|- โค แดแดสแดs าแดส สแดแดแด แด
แดsแดสษชแดแดษชแดษด.
~ 2/5
The description is bland and too short to understand what the story is about. I will ask you to make the description a little long and give space between the description and credits you have given to the people who have helped you.
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs าแดส สแดแดแด แดษชแดสแด.
~ 2/10
The book title used by you is not at all unique and attention-catching. There are thousands of books on Wattpad with the same name if you want your books to stand out from them then I will ask you to change your book title. Moreover, the book title does not match the story as well, the story is about a sleep-deprived girl and she finds comfort in a dead person soul named Yoongi. Yoongi helps Y/n with her sleep and not keep her awake if Yoongi would keep her awake and not let her sleep then the title "Don't Fall Asleep myg x reader" would suit the story perfectly but in this case, it is not going with the story so please change the book title.
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs าแดส สแดแดแด แดสแดแด.
~ 6/10
The flow of the story was smooth but it was a little slow. It took a lot of time to meet our boy Min Yoongi. The story was not cliche according to me it was pretty different from other stories. But you told in the prologue that you are writing a horror story but it felt more like a magical one when you mentioned about "Guardian". For me, the story was a sweet story and it gave me a magical feeling instead of ghostly. And the story of Yoongi where he died felt like a casual talk and it was fast-paced as well.
|- โกโช แดแดสแดs าแดส แดสแด ษขสแดแดแดแดส แดษดแด แด แดแดแดสแดสแดสส.
~ 13/20
I did not found many grammatical mistakes but using the unnecessary ellipse in " Day 1" at the first line is not appreciable so don't repeat it again and using 'went' instead of 'go' is more acceptable when you are writing a story in the past tense. Well, except for these I could not find any grammatical errors.
Moving on to the vocabulary part. I will suggest you add some high-quality words to your story to save it from becoming simple and bland.
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs Fแดส แดสแดแด แดแดกษชsแดs แดษดแด
แดแดแดสแดแดแดษชแดษด.
~ 4/10
There were no plot twists in the book. A plot twist will surely do magic but if you want to keep things sweet then I don't think you need a plot twist here. And the attraction of the story at the first was not much but when Min Yoongi came into the scene the story turned sweet from boring.
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs าแดส แดแดแดแดษชแดษดs แดษดแด
แดสแดสแดแดแดแดส แด
แดแด แดสแดแดแดแดษดแด.
~ 2/10
I did not felt much attachment with the characters. I feel you need to make some changes to develop the character's emotion. My heart did not go crazy when Yoongi pulled Y/n on top of her or I was not scared when Y/n first met Yoongi
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs าแดส แดสแดแดแดษชแด ษชแดส แดษดแด
แดกแดส แดา แดกสษชแดษชษดษข.
~ 6/10
The story was not a cliche story but the wordings need some improvement and changes to make the story better. I felt the story idea creative.
|- โ โช แดแดสแดs าแดส สแดแดส แดแดษชษดษชแดษด แดษด แดสแด สแดแดแด.
~ 5/10
Total Marks: 41/100
๐๐ พ๐๐ ๐๐ ด๐๐ ธ๐ ด๐ : Change your book cover and title. Add some details about the story in the description box. Don't give unnecessary ellipse in the middle of the story. Develop your character's emotion more.
Well, overall the story is sweet.
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You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net