【𝐕𝐈𝐈】

╭─ ❝ 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎 ❞

Trigger warning: Self harm! (If you want you can skip this chapter but I will be putting the TW just before when the scene comes up so don't worry!)

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BLACK, ELEGANT CLOTHES. Fresh, salty tears,
piercing sorrow, non stop mourning and sobs were directed at two frames with one picture in either of them, belonging to the persons who bid farewell to the world.

'Thanks to the God that it was not my family member, but someone else' was internal gratefulness, which crossed the minds of people who attended the funeral.

You also had such thoughts which used to assault your mind whenever you attended the depressing ceremonies. You were no different from the people around you right now, always so grateful, each time... until you weren't.

It had been a few days since your parents left you entirely, without saying a 'goodbye', out of blue and so suddenly.

The burial was done, and the most irritating part of those days was where many people were spotted wailing, weeping, shedding tears. Their doleful eyes stared at you with pity.

'I'm so sorry for your loss.' again and again, repeatedly, you heard the same thing told by the different people whom you didn't even know.

Meanwhile you, who hadn't shed a single tear wondered the entire time: what loss? My parents didn't leave me.

They didn't.

The state of denial you were in, broke aunt Yuriko's heart. She'd try to shake you out of your fantasy, would try to shut the flicker of the flame of the false hope you were clinging onto, but you wouldn't budge.

You sat silently in a corner and traced the picture under the  glass inside the photo frame,until you passed out and when you woke, it was the same.

Your eyes glued to the picture inside the it. A picture of your family which you had never seen in your family photo album before.

Your younger self was on your father's shoulders, enjoying the view from above as you wore a wide, toothless grin. Your father mirrored your expressions as he held onto one of your hand to keep you from falling. And your mother looked pissed as though worried you were about to fall.

One being always worried about you, while the other made sure you lived.

Oh! To not 'live' was indeed a nightmare but to lose someone who was more precious than your own life was a living torture.

The phone's ring brought you out of you state of trance.

Ring Ring!

You eyed the lit up screen which displayed the name Tarzen <3 for the twenty-second time.

You ignored it once again.

Aunt Yuriko noticed the state you were in. "Honey," she uttered lightly shaking your shoulder gently, as to drag you out from your numb state.

You lifted your head to stare at aunt Yuriko's gloomy face who had a sad smile on her face.

"I think you should wash yourself up, some guests are going to be here in a few hours." she said outreaching her hand towards you, to support into standing up.

You took her hand. Nodding blankly at her,you exited the living room.

Accepting the clothes which aunt Yuriko selected for you from your wardrobe, you made your way towards the bathroom, numbly and slowly.

What if its just a dream, a nightmare perhaps?

You slowly entered in the bathroom and shut it gently behind you, locking it.

I'm stuck in this horrible spiral of a nightmare and I need to get out of here somehow.

Somehow.

Your eyes slowly travelled towards the cupboard.

You took slow steps towards it and pulled it open. You fumbled through the stuff and finally found what you were looking for.

-TW-

Your eyes caught the razor blade which was sitting right behind the shampoo bottles, as though hiding away from you.

You picked it up and hesitantly pressed the cold metal against your skin.

Slowly pushing the object further into your flesh, you carved the area resting just a few inches above your wrist, allowing the warm and crimson liquid to pour out freely from your teared skin to the white, tiled floor, tainting it.

A hiss of pain was escaped from your mouth and your eyes were closed shut.

Drip drip.

Have I woken up yet?

Drip Drip.

You slowly open your eyes, hoping to wake into your warm bed but found yourself on the same spot. Bare feet on the cold, tiled floor.

No... No! This shouldn't be happening!

You made another cut and this time,it was deeper. Your grunted in pure agony.

This isn't enough.

So there came another cut, then one more and then one another.

Just once more.

Nothing.

You threw the blade angrily to the floor. Clink!

Sinking down on your knees to the floor, you tugged at your hair, wanting to pull them out in anguish and clamped your mouth shut with your free hand with widened eyes as you choked back a sob.

How will I do it without you.

Your stomach felt heavy as it begged to empty the contents. Though, there was nothing to throw up.

Why didn't you come back.

You broke into violent sobs, permitting the tears to fall to the floor and let the drops of pain to mingle with the crimson liquid which flowed out of deliration.

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-edited.

Upcoming Baji scenes in the next chapter, be ready.

-Mary 🌸