Y/N POV

I sat in my room for the rest of the day learning more about my powers. Determined to learn as much as I could. Alastor had obviously seen Angeldust, so he knew that he was connected to me. 

I looked up from the book, letting out a deep breath. Even if Al doesn't find me, maybe I could use them to find and destroy Jared for what he did to my family. He was bound to be down here with me. I yearned for the chance to carry out my revenge on him.

I decided to go change, seeing as I was still in the clothes I wore during the little territory dispute. I pulled out a lilac sweater and black pants that flared out at the ends. The sweater gently fell off my shoulders and complimented my eyes. 

I looked around my room, wanting a change in scenery. "I'm pretty sure I'm the only one at the hotel right now." Angel was at an appointment, Charlie and Vaggie were handing out flyers for the hotel, Husk was out at another bar, and I still hadn't seen Nifty during the time I've been here. 

With the book in my arms, I headed upstairs to the library on the 5th floor. I opened the double doors and found floor-to-ceiling bookshelves around the entire room. It was a two-story library. I stood in the center of the room, admiring how big it was. "This is my dream!" I kicked myself for never coming in here before now. There were comfy couches and chairs on one side of the room and an empty fireplace on the other. "I wonder if they have ever lit that?" I thought out loud. It was Hell after all, so it was never cold. 

Using a ladder, I climbed up to the second story of the library and found a window seat to sit in. I sat crisscrossed in the seat and opened the book in my lap. I sat there for hours, learning how to use my magic and practicing it. 

There were so many destructive spells housed in this book that it made me laugh. I could now open a dark abyss that swallows buildings whole, summon shadows for my bidding, and throw balls of energy. I set the book down, even though I could feel my greed wanting to know more destruction.

I wanted to explore the types of books this library had to offer. I just needed to get my mind off of current events. Escaping to a new world would be useful for my mental state. I hummed while I browsed the upper section of the library. It surprised me how much my singing voice sounded like my old voice. 

I started singing a little tune I had learned a few years ago, Once Upon a December. Oh, how I missed singing. I had hidden it for so long that I had forgotten what it felt like. It was nice to practice in this empty hotel. 

Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December.

I danced around looking on the shelves for a proper book to sit down with. There were many classics here, but some I had never read before.

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

The song rang out in the room, echoing through the tall library. I hit every note on, as I had practiced for days while singing this song. I had wanted to be in the musical, but never got accepted. That felt like such a long time ago. 

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,

I picked through a few books and held them in my arms. While singing, I wondered if there was a way to control things with my voice. Kind of like a siren, but without luring people to their deaths. I walked back to my seat and set the books down. Was there a spell like that?

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

I flipped through the pages, determined to find something to satisfy my new idea. But after looking through the book twice, I couldn't find a single thing on it. How about I try it myself. Using the last two verses of the song, I tried to thread power into the notes. 

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...

I imagined the notes of the song entwining with my power. The song was a steady beam, something that would never change. The music, winding around it and changing its appearance. Like vines on a post. I saw purple light drift from my mouth in the direction I was singing. It was working?!

And a song
Someone sings
Once upon a December...

I held the last note out and saw the purple light fade away. Thinking to myself, "I'll have to work on that." I heard a faint sound coming from the bottom floor of the library. Someone was clapping. I looked over the edge of the railing, thinking I'd see Charlie or Angel. Instead, I found something much worse.

"Alastor...?" I said, not knowing how to get out of this situation. How did he find me? I couldn't hide from him anymore, he knew what I looked and sounded like now. He stopped clapping, looking at me from below. 

"My dear, that was quite a feat! I can't believe how far you've come with your powers, haha!"

I growled, "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"I was coming back to the hotel to talk to Angeldust about his little endeavor today. I knew you both were working together. Unfortunately, he wasn't here, but it seems that I have found something much better! As I walked around the hotel, looking for someone home, I heard your beautiful singing voice! And I knew it was you." His smile grew larger as he looked at me. 

I gazed around the room, avoiding eye contact with him. I was trying to find a way out, and I didn't want him to see the fear in my eyes. I looked back at the seat I was sitting in and realized the window had a latch on it. I could fly out!

I stepped away from the railing, to a point where he couldn't see me. "y/n please I just need to talk to you."

"Why? So you can use me for my powers and then hurt me again?!"

I turned around to unlock the window but found Alastor in my path. I back up slowly. "That was my only form of exit!" I screamed inside my head. I was stuck. I couldn't get out of it this time. I went to take another step but found I couldn't move, at all. 

I looked at Alastor. "I'm sorry I had to do this my dear, but you keep running away and I need to talk with you. I did not mean to hurt you that night, in any way."

I could my power trying to burst out against his. He looked like he was struggling to keep me still, his smile faltering a bit. "I can feel how scared you are right now, and we can fix this." He walked towards me. 

I fought back hard enough that I had control over my own mouth again. "Don't you dare touch me," hoping my words could hurt him. I broke free of his hold and jumped off the second level. He jumped after me and grabbed me, hugging my body to him as we headed toward the ground. 

I never felt the ground hit. I opened my eyes and found myself in a very red room, sitting on a chair. Alastor was sitting across from me, only a small table between us and a fireplace to my left. It was an incredibly small room. I mentally checked my body, making sure I didn't have any broken bones. 

"Where are we?" I said. How could I escape this room now? 

"We are in a mental room. Particularly mine. This is the only place that you cannot escape for a bit of time and I need to speak with you. You are so determined to get away from me that I cannot explain myself."

I glared at him as I crossed my legs. This feels like the time we sat across from each other in that old house. It seemed like ages ago. 

He cleared his throat and looked at me, "What happened that night?"

My mind faltered, "E-excuse me? You don't remember?"

"Not particularly. I believe that I was sleepwalking at the time. As you probably don't know, I do not sleep. I haven't been able to for a number of years. That night I fell asleep for the first time in a while, so it was unexpected."

I looked at him. Amazed by how offended I felt. "Then let me tell you what happened. I woke up, feeling particularly woozy in a dark room. I saw you behind me, in your rage form and you started coming towards me. Apparently, you had already bit my arm, so I was bleeding out. I tried to get away from you but you cornered me," I could feel the rage boiling over. He sat there in his seat, his smile growing smaller. 

"You cornered me like a wounded animal. You raked your claws down my face. You wanted to see me suffer. Thankfully, I escaped, but only to end up in Hell where you have been actively hunting me!"

He leaned over, his fist to his mouth, thinking. I continued my thoughts, happy to get them all out, happy to see him feel guilty. "You have no idea how much trauma you brought back to my mind like that. You have no idea what my past was like and you have the audacity, not to remember what you did to me."

I could feel the tears streaming out of my eyes, but I didn't care if he saw it. I wanted to show him how much pain he caused me. I stood up from my chair, filled with rage, and sorrow "I was abused in my past life Alastor. Did you know that? Did you know that he would come home every night and hurt me over and over again. Did you know that my abuser killed my entire family, and I was the only one left? No, you didn't!" 

I turned away from him, facing the back wall. One hand hugging my side and the other holding my mouth closed. I could cry, but I will not sob in front of him. I wiped my ink-black tears from my face. 

He spoke from behind me. "y/n," he paused. Not even knowing what to say. "I'm sorry, I wasn't in control of my own body that night. I did not know how much trauma came back to you that night, and I am extremely sorry." He got up from his chair and walked towards my back. 

He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned his forehead against the back of my head. He whispered, "I'm so sorry y/n." I turned around to face him, my hand still held to my mouth as tears spilled down my face. 

I looked into his eyes and found small tears forming in the corners of his eyes. A small frown on his face. I was a bit taken back. I had never expected Alastor to cry. He looked up from the ground and wiped a tear running down my cheek. "Do smile again dear...it suits you. I can't bear to see you cry."

I backed away from him shaking my head, still surprised by his actions. What was he saying? I couldn't comprehend what was happening, I didn't even want to try and decipher his meaning behind it. I felt someone calling my name and grabbed hold of the feeling. I couldn't stay here anymore.

I felt my eyes open, flinching as my eyes adjusted to the light in the room. Angel sat in front of me, grabbing my shoulders. "Are you okay n/n?"