CHAPTER II

Stupid and Weak

     Brynn's entire body protested, groaning and sending jolts of shock through her limbs everytime Matthias moved. Gunfire rung through the air as the Dime Lions opened fire on the three moving figures; Jesper as he shot back, Kuwei as he tried to duck and get out of the way, and Matthias with Brynn slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, his rifle making a loud bang every time he shot back.

Matthias carried Brynn on his back as he crawled through the dirt of the graveyard, meeting up with Jesper and Kuwei at the broken mast of the mausoleum.

"Everyone unhurt?" he asked. Brynn pushed herself off of him, propping her back against a column with her eyes shut.

"I'll let you know," she said.

"Out of breath, but still breathing," said Jesper. "Fantastic plan, by the way. How is being pinned down here better than being pinned down in the tomb?"

"We can't all have Kaz's genius," Brynn said lightheartedly.

"Did you get Wylan's powders?" Matthias asked.

"What was left of them," said Jesper. He emptied his pockets, revealing three packets.

Matthias randomly picked up one of them, rolling it over in his hand absentmindedly. "Can you manipulate those powders?"

Jesper shifted uneasily. "Yes. I guess. I did something similar at the Ice Court. Why?"

Matthias grinned, though it looked more like a baring of teeth. "Black Veil is supposedly haunted, yes? We're going to make some ghosts." He glanced around the edge of the mausoleum. "They're moving in. I need you to follow my orders and stop asking questions. All of you."

"For the record, I haven't asked questions," Brynn pointed out.

"No wonder you and Kaz don't get along," Jesper muttered.

Quickly, Matthias explained his plan, one that Brynn had some faith in. It wasn't nearly as elaborate as one of Kaz's, but it would do.

Why are you comparing him to Kaz? thought Brynn. Stop it.

"Ready?" asked Matthias.

He opened the packet and, as Brynn watched, Jesper raised his hands, the powder rose in a cloud. It hung suspended in the air as if time had slowed. Jesper focused, sweat beading on his forehead, then shoved his hands forward. The cloud thinned and rolled over the heads of the Dime Lions, then caught one of their torches in a burst of green. The men surrounding the torch holder gasped.

"Kuwei," urged Matthias.

The Shu boy lifted his own hands and the flame from the green torch crept along the handle, snaking up the arm of its bearer in a sinuous coil of fire. The man screamed, tossing the torch away, falling to the ground and rolling in an attempt to extinguish the flames.

"Keeping going," said Matthias. Kuwei flexed his fingers, but the green flames went out.

"I'm sorry!" yelped Kuwei.

"Make another," Matthias demanded.

Kuwei thrust his hands out again and one of the Dime Lions' lanterns exploded in a whorl of yellow flame. Kuwei shrank back as if he hadn't intended to use so much force.

"Don't lose your focus," said Matthias.

Bynn could see the boy struggling. She could almost feel the fire, as if the flames were dancing along her own fingertips. Slowly, Brynn pushed herself to her feet, limping over to the boys. The group of Dime Lions were arguing amongst themselves over ghosts, many of them pale with fright.

Before parem, Brynn could have done it with the flick of a finger, as easy as it would have been for her to eat a piece of pie or heal a paper cut. But as she held out her hands, the only thing she felt was the dull throbbing of her body working against her and the hunger for parem growing.

She cursed herself. She never should have let Van Eck give her the drug. She never should have let herself be given right into the mercher's hands. If only she were stronger, then she might have been able to walk normally without being carried by a big Fjerdan.

"You are not weak," Da had once told her firmly. Brynn had fallen right into a thorn bush and, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure out how to heal herself, even though she'd done it plenty of times before. Maybe it was the pain that was preventing her from using her Grisha abilities. But whatever it was, Brynn had cried while Ma healed her and Da came over at the ruckus.

"You are not weak," he'd repeated. "You are the strongest girl I know. And I don't mean physically. Your heart is kind and that is the best kind of strength."

But kindness wouldn't help her now. Black spots flashed in Brynn's vision and she swayed on her feet. The hunger for parem was as vigorous as ever. Jesper reached for her, catching her before her legs gave out underneath her.

"Woah, what's wrong?" he asked, worry laced in his voice.

Brynn only managed, "I'm sorry," before everything went black.

~~~

The sound of faint murmuring woke Brynn. Her head was pounding, her entire body aching in a rhythm in time with her heartbeat. She opened her eyes.

She was laying on a plush couch in a large sitting room of purple and gold, the faint smell of cakes in the air. The ceiling was much too fancy for her to have bought with any kind of money she could've scraped up.

Van Eck got me again. Either that or I'm in a very fancy Heaven.

She sat up straight, eyes wide. But she immediately regretted it when a stabbing pain in her stomach came twice as hard as before, right alongside the hunger for parem. "Parem," she gasped.

Jesper walked into her vision, hovering over her. "Hey, okay, lay back down. We're at the Geldrenner with my father."

Brynn let him help her back down onto the couch and frowned. "Your father? What else did I miss?" she rasped.

"Nothing much," Matthias' voice said. She turned her head to find him and Kuwei sitting on nearly-identical chairs. A man with drooping eyelids and broad shoulders stood in the doorway of the room, his obviously Kaelish red hair tousled. Brynn could see the resemblance between Jesper and his father.

"Is this Brynn?" the man asked.

Jesper nodded. "Yeah. Brynn, this is my da, Colm."

Brynn gave him a half-smile despite her discomfort. "Where are the others?"

"They'll be here," promised Jesper. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince her. "Brynn, why would you try that back there?"

"Try what?"

"Try using your powers. It was stupid and you're already weak as it is."

"I've been called worse."

He stood up and started to pace. "This isn't a joke, Brynn," Matthias said. "You could have died."

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Why are you so reckless?"

She shrugged. "I'm gonna die anyways. Might as well make it fun."

"You don't believe that," Jesper said, shaking his head.

"I do," Brynn said.

Colm sighed. "Lovely bunch you've made friends with here, Jesper."

The Zemeni avoided his father's gaze. Brynn was hit with an unexpected burning feeling in her chest and she nearly doubled over, coughing. Jesper rushed forward to help, but she shrugged him away. It wasn't anything with him, she was just more touch-sensitive, now. Everything felt like a pile of rocks and shattered glass.

Where were the others? She hoped they were okay. Seeing as their plans were thrown in the trash, the others had probably gotten intercepted as well.

Brynn thought back to Black Veil. Jesper was right, it had been stupid. But she wanted to help. The ghost of her powers still lingered, and Brynn could have sworn she felt the fire from afar.

She had finally come to terms with her gift and her past. Brynn didn't mind dying, but if parem changed her, that was another kind of cruelty that Brynn wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle.

a/n— I literally had nothing else to do, so here you go! Let me know what you think. Also, I need more things to read (because I'm slowly falling into a writing slump when I try to write anything else) so if you guys have anything good that y'all love to read—either on here or actual books—I'd love to hear those suggestions!