CHAPTER 9

Sail

     It was hard to think of anything other than Brynn. They all took turns, comforting her and trying to get her to eat something. Sasha often sang their song together, and there was no missing how everyone else stopped what they were doing to listen. It made her a little uncomfortable, but Brynn always insisted on hearing it.

Sasha only barely listened to Kaz as he told them of his plans, too worried about her sister to think about anything else. Something about sugar silos, the chemical weevil she'd helped create, and then getting much more money than they'd originally been promised by Van Eck. When Nina spoke up about getting the Grisha out of Ketterdam, Brynn's eyes fluttered open, her hand waving to get the attention of someone, groaning softly.

Before anyone else could react, Inej was by Brynn's side. Brynn waited until Inej's ear was inches from her ear before speaking quietly, so as for only the Suli girl to hear. After a moment, Inej stood up, meeting Kaz's gaze.

"Brynn agrees with Nina and I."

"About what exactly?" Kaz asked.

"Getting the Grisha out of Ketterdam," answered Inej. "She says that they all should have a chance at a better life." She paused, before looking at Sasha. "And that you should go with them, too."

Sasha frowned. "What? Why?"

Brynn raised her hand again and Inej listened carefully, standing after a minute. "Brynn wants you to enjoy your life, Sasha."

"Brynn, I don't want to go to Ravka," argued Sasha. "Believe it or not, I actually like Ketterdam."

Jesper raised his eyebrows. "You like Ketterdam? You?"

Sasha ignored him. "And don't tell me that you're not gonna be around for much longer, because I don't want to hear it. I'm staying here and you're staying alive."

Again, Inej kneeled down to listen to Brynn. The girl stared at Brynn. "You were listening to that?"

Brynn nodded, a pained smile on her face. She whispered something more, then nodded at the rest of the group. Inej pursed her lips.

"I don't need a net," she said. "A Ghafa never performs with a net."

"Does a Ghafa frequently perform twenty stories above cobblestones under pressure?" asked Nina.

"I want you to have a net," insisted Brynn, her voice croaky as if she hadn't used it in years.

Inej frowned. "I don't need a net," she repeated.

Brynn grabbed her hand, eyes pleading. "I just want you to be careful. Please?"

"Fine," Inej said after a moment of silence. "But you need to rest." Brynn rolled her eyes, hand dropping back to the ground. "I'm serious! You've been held prisoner for a week and now your body is wearing itself out from the parem. You should at least try to eat something."

"I can promise you she won't," said Sasha sourly. "Won't budge once she's made a decision, especially if it's a stupid one."

Her sister turned her head to glare at her. Sasha shrugged, but she wasn't going to apologize. It was true. Brynn was one of the most stubborn people she'd ever met, besides Kaz, of course.

Kaz rapped his knuckles on the table, turning everyone's attention to him. "I want everyone to work on the plans. Eat something while you're at it."

And they did. For hours they planned, mapping out their next moves, eating when they remembered to. Sasha tried to get Brynn to eat one of Nina's cookies, but just the smell almost made her lose whatever food was left in her stomach.

Brynn had made Sasha sing the song again, just before Nina and Matthias, then Jesper and Wylan left. Brynn could barely keep up, needing to stop every other line to catch her breath. Sasha ignored the other teenagers' meaningful glances their way as the song died down, Sasha's voice wavering as she tried to finish off strong.

Soon, only Sasha, Brynn, Inej, and Kuwei were left in the tomb. Brynn had dozed off before everyone else left, her body thrashing about as she slept. Sasha had tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't.

Brynn jolted awake, her eyes slowly peeling open to look at her surroundings. Sasha popped the last of her cookie in her mouth as she watched her older sister.

"Where is everyone?" she whispered.

"Nina and Matthias went to the Grisha, Jesper and Wylan went to pay his respects to his mother, and Kaz went to Cirkus Zirkoa to get the stuff for Inej." Sasha cocked her head to the side. "What do you see in him?"

Brynn frowned. "What?"

"Kaz. He's... awful. He threatened a little girl to get her to be quiet," Sasha said.

Her sister sighed and closed her eyes. "Kaz is... He's not like other people, Sasha. He's willing to do what needs to be done, but that doesn't always make him a bad person."

Why couldn't Brynn see how horrible Kaz was? He'd killed many more people than Sasha could imagine, and he would be willing to kill many more, she was sure. Was Brynn blinded by love? Or maybe parem was messing with her mind? Whatever the reason, Sasha was sure she wasn't thinking straight.

"I'm pretty sure it does, Brynn," she argued. "He's killed people."

"So have I. Does that make me a bad person?"

Sasha opened her mouth, then closed it again. Brynn had killed people, other than the ones from the village fire? On purpose?

"Of course not," replied Sasha. "The people you've killed were bad people, right?"

Brynn considered this, though it looked more like a wince. "It depends on what you think a bad person is. To me and you, maybe. But those people might've had family and friends, and I took them away. They might've been doing good things for their people, their country. So I might be a bad person."

"Are Inej's Suli proverbs rubbing off on you?" Sasha wondered with a small smile.

"That isn't one of our proverbs, but it is very wise," said Inej as she came over to sit down on the other side of Brynn. "Maybe it's just my wisdom that's rubbing off of you."

Brynn laughed, then groaned, holding her side. "Don't make me laugh." She then sighed. "Do you think this is going to work?"

"Kaz's plan?" asked Sasha. "Better not to doubt him, even when he's not here. Then he might hear it and come just to scowl at you."

Inej smiled. "Or he'll just hit you with his cane."

"Or both," Brynn added.

Sasha chuckled to herself. "Now that I would pay to see."

"And soon enough, you'll have the money to do it," said Inej.

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company and waiting for the others to come back. Brynn was definitely still in pain, but she was good at hiding it, even if she wasn't fooling them.

Sasha thought back to her time on the Ferolind before they arrived in Ketterdam. It was nice to get to know her sister again after four years of thinking the worst. Every now and then, Sasha still ran her fingers over her smooth skin, nearly forgetting that her burns were gone now.

Sasha had gotten to know the crew pretty well for that month, though Inej was the easiest to talk to. She was so calming, and something about the way she spoke made Sasha just want to hear her talk for hours on end.

"I want to sail," she blurted suddenly. Brynn popped open an eye to peer up at her sister and Sasha almost slapped herself. But since she'd already begun, she might as well explain herself. "Inej told me that she wants to have a ship and a crew. I'd like to join her."

Brynn raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

"I know what it's like to be a prisoner. I can't imagine what it's like to be a slave, too. So I really just want to help," explained Sasha. "And something about sailing on the open seas, the spray of salt water on my face, it's exhilarating."

The Ferolind was just a small schooner, a test run to see if Sasha would actually like sailing. The only other ship she had ever been on was the one she'd snuck aboard to follow Brynn to Fjerda, and she never even went above deck for the entire trip.

But on the trip from Fjerda to Kerch, Sasha enjoyed every moment she got to spend in the ocean air with the wind whipping her hair back and forth, whichever way it pleased. It felt... freeing. After four entire years in a prison cell, Sasha embraced the feel of the outdoors.

And now she was in a tomb that felt like it was getting increasingly small, with a timetable that kept on getting shorter. Sasha forced herself to think of what life might be like alongside Captain Ghafa, hunting down slavers and making them pay for what they'd put other people through, helping slaves find a better life. If Sasha couldn't have a normal one, she could at least help give other people the chance to live a regular life.

a/n— This was kinda a filler, but also kinda cute, what do you think? Predictions? Also, I'm kinda stuck on what I should write next (always thinking for the future ykyk) so if there are any fandoms or specific characters you want a story written to, I'll see what I can do (I might even watch or read something knew for some suggestions!). Thank you all so much and I love you!!