So things look pretty bad right now. Put it this way: Annabeth is in the women's bathroom, topless, with her ex-boyfriend. You could say they're in pretty close quarters, that's for sure.

They're not doing anything. Well, they're doing something; they're just not doing that.

And they were doing an okay job looking at Percy's napkin prophecy until they were interrupted by somebody else, who evidently, has also been looking for Annabeth. She sure is popular this morning. Isn't this supposed to be Jason's memorial brunch?

"Hey, Annabeth, what's- Percy? Oh my gods!" Frank Zhang stands in the entryway to the bathroom, red in the face.

This is familiar.

"Frank!" Annabeth isn't flustered easily, but it's not every day she's found in a compromising position with her ex-boyfriend. "Percy was just helping me get this goddamn orange juice stain out of my sweater! That's all!"

Real smooth, Annabeth. Real fucking smooth.

She pulls her sweater back on, careful not to snag it on her piercings, and addresses Percy: "You can go. I think you've done plenty enough to help."

"Um, yeah..." Percy slips out the door.

Frank scratches the back of his head. "Do I wanna know? Actually, don't answer that. I don't wanna know."

Annabeth's had it with awkward guys. Have they changed at all in the past ten years? It's like she's the only one that grew up.

"Did you need something?" she asks, trying not to be rude. It's Frank. She can't be rude to Frank, even if there's a part of her that wants to be.

"Uh, yeah, so I know this is last minute, but Hazel had a bridesmaid drop out and we were hoping you'd be willing to fill in for us," Frank says. He smiles cheesily like this is something Annabeth should be excited about.

She freezes up. "Can... Can someone else do it?"

Frank's smile fades. "Well, I guess, but Hazel says it would be really special to have you and Piper in the wedding since, well, you know..."

Annabeth knew something was up the moment she got that damn invitation in the mail.

There is no bridesmaid that dropped out. Annabeth was always going to be a bridesmaid and they knew she'd say no, so they invited her early and sprung this whole thing on her last minute so that now she'll have to agree to it. She'll even bet there's a bridesmaid dress in her size somewhere.

Shit. And now Frank's here asking Annabeth this huge favor because even after ten years, she still has a soft spot for the son of Mars.

All so they can play happy family and pretend nothing bad ever went down between her and Percy and like Jason's still here and like Reyna isn't a complete nutcase and like Nico and Will aren't suddenly sleeping together again and like Leo wasn't the first of them to get married and have a fucking baby.

Annabeth pulls the chopsticks from her hair, hoping to relieve some of the pain, although she's pretty sure this new headache that settled in isn't from her thick mane or her poor drinking habits. She sets the chopsticks on the marble countertop with shaky hands.

It's suddenly really hot in this bathroom. When did Frank get so massive? Fuck, when did she get so small?

Frank just said something.

"What?" she asks.

Frank reaches for her hand. "Can I count on you? Please?"

Fuck. He's at least a foot taller than her; it's a crime for someone distantly related to Clarisse to be this sweet and adorable, yet here he is. Frank is a massive teddy bear with big sad eyes, and now Annabeth has to break his heart and say no.

"Yes. I'll do it." The words fall from her mouth without effort.

Frank wraps her in a bear hug, and Annabeth swears she can feel paws digging into her back rather than hands. "Thank you so much! Hazel's going to be so happy when I tell her. You're the best! Always have been, always will be."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't expect me to not be a bitch about it. You know I've never been into this stuff," Annabeth says.

Frank's laughter echoes off the tile walls. "I wouldn't expect anything else from you. Thank you."

He puts Annabeth down, releasing her from his grip. She kind of wishes he didn't.

"No problem." Her words are barely audible, even to herself.

Frank doesn't seem to hear her as he steps out of the bathroom. His movement is swift and intentional. He's probably going to brag to Hazel and Piper about how he was the one who got Annabeth to join the wedding party.

No, he's not. He's a sweetheart and you know it.

"Shut up!" The echo of her voice is foreign.

One of the stall doors creaks open. "Spare a Kleenex?" an old woman's voice asks.

"Sorry, left my bag at the table," Annabeth replies without looking up from the sink. How much of her previous conversations had this poor woman heard?

Then Annabeth hears the hissing. "You good, lady?" she asks.

"It's disrespectful to address your elders as such," says a new voice.

"Jesus Christ." Now Annabeth knows it's safe to turn around.

The other two gorgons don't freak Annabeth out as much as their sister, Medusa, but still, there are two of them, and they're yucky snake ladies.

More familiar monsters.

"I don't know what you fuckers are playing at," Annabeth says, slowly reaching for her chopsticks on the counter, "but none of you were invited to this wedding. Unless one of you wants to be a bridesmaid, that is."

"Enough of your sass, Annabeth Jackson!" the gorgon wearing a feather boa says. The two surge forward.

Annabeth lifts herself onto the countertop so that she won't fall flat on her back when she drop-kicks the offending gorgon.

"Oof!" The winded monster slams against a bathroom stall.

Annabeth begins to swipe at the other gorgon with her chopsticks. A snake falls to the tile with a hiss!

The gorgon clutches her head. "My hair!"

Without needing to look, Annabeth elbows the previously-drop-kicked gorgon behind her. How much more can this lady's gut possibly take?

The other gorgon is still losing her shit over her hair, so Annabeth uses the distraction as an opportunity. That is, an opportunity to football tackle the gorgon- the gorgon that thinks she's married- to the ground.

"That's Annabeth Chase to you!" Sticking with the theme, she drives her chopsticks into the gorgon's gut.

She's not ready for the amount of fluid that spurts from the dying gorgon. Unlike the Minotaur and the amphisbaena, the dense black liquid reaches Annabeth's face.

Fun fact: black monster goo burns when it hits your eyes!

"Fuck!" Annabeth was relieved to find out that she wouldn't have to fight blind. She stands corrected now.

She pulls her chopsticks from the corpse, miraculously, and starts swinging them around like a madwoman. The more she tries, the more likely she is to land a hit, right?

Wrong.

"Missed me!" the remaining gorgon teases.

Then she shrieks, and Annabeth hears the ear-piercing sound of snakes dying.

Is this a trick?

"You know those were just Medusa's sisters, right?"

Even in her blindness, Annabeth recognizes her ex's voice, once again. "Well, I'm kind of covered in monster goo!" It burns her eyes so bad, but she's not about to let the pain get the best of her. She has to show up Percy, especially now that-

"Shit!"

"Are you alright?"

Annabeth just ran into... something...

"Here, let me help you." Percy presses a wet paper towel against Annabeth's free palm.

She grunts and begins to dab at her eyes. It helps a lot, but she won't admit it. She can even see now, sort of, and well, it's a sight.

Seeing Riptide after so long almost blinds Annabeth a second time. Was it always so... shiny?

She looks up, not wanting to make eye contact with her ex, but also knowing that it's best to get it over with. Percy has monster goo splashed across his chest. His blue dress shirt might be salvageable. Annabeth's sweater, on the other hand, is completely ruined.

"We should try to harvest what blood we can," Percy says. "Blood from the right side of-"

"That's great and all, but do you want to eat this shit?" Annabeth turns the faucet and rinses the gorgon goo from her chopsticks.

"Erm... no, I guess not," Percy says. "Shouldn't the bodies be gone by now? And how did they get past the magical borders?"

Annabeth cracks her neck like a badass and then says, "I have a few theories. Don't get your panties in a twist." She pats Percy's cheek, peppering guts on his face.

"What? This has happened to you before and you haven't told me?" Percy wipes his face with his sleeve.

"I told Will." Annabeth spits into the sink. Gorgon guts taste bad too. She can't see herself in the mirror, but she guesses that she looks a lot like Gerard Way right now.

"You should've Iris Messaged me or something! We could fix this together!" Percy sounds excited. That's not good.

Annabeth chuckles as if overwhelming positivity will somehow scare him off. "Oh, you're off the hook. I've got this one. They all seem to know me anyway."

She takes the gorgon head by Percy's feet, holding it by the snakes. "Thanks for the badass trophy. Catch ya back at brunch!"

Percy comes stumbling after her. "You're crazy! You can't just bring that into the memorial! That's... that's..."

"Crazy? Well, I think we already established that I am," Annabeth says nonchalantly.

"Annabeth, wait-"

But it's too late.

Annabeth drops the decapitated head in front of Baby Jason's high chair. It's cooler than Thomas the Tank Engine, isn't it?

"Now what does a girl have to do to get a Bloody Mary around here?"