I groaned out in boredom, rolling my head back dramatically as I kicked back in my seat, or rather, my mother's seat. You know the one, the special chair that's reserved for the actor or, in this case actress. The one she sits in on break or in between takes, typically for a smoke and a touch up on makeup. Sometimes getting their hair redone, blah, blah, blah.. My brother sat up with the director on the ledge to overlook the film, actually somewhat interested. So far it was pretty boring, I mean nothing was happening. That could also be because I was facing the other way, not watching, not caring. That's just a thought though. I yawned just as I heard my mom scream out in fright, everyone's attention turning as we grew concerned for her. I whipped back in a panic, only to see her smiling and laughing. The shock still evident but humor washing over it.

"I'm sorry, he grabbed me!" I bit back a grin, turning back in the seat, mad that I had gotten a fright over them just goofin' off on set.

"Can someone get me a cigarette?!" My mother called out soon afterwards, guess it means it's break time. I don't bother getting up from the seat as I listen to mom talking with the director still. Joking about him getting off on watching her suffer. I make a face, gagging to myself as they jest.

"Aunna?" I crane my neck back, seeing mom standing there smiling to greet me. I hop up from the chair, giving her a hug as she took her place in her seat. 

"Ya'know? It's kinda gross when I hear my mom talk about someone getting off on watching you suffer. Nasty." I grimace with a raised lip. She laughed hysterically as she got comfy in the chair.

"Sorry, hon.. So, how was the weekend with your father? And where is your brother?" She began wondering, looking about for her other child. I shrugged at her first question, not really open to talking about my father with her before looking in the direction Jeff was in, seeing him climbing down to join us. He strode up past me, giving mom a quick hug before taking a spot beside me.

"So, what have you two been doing?" She smiled, hoping to get more of an answer now Jeff was here. She was wrong, of course. Jeff and I looked at each other then back at her.

"Nothing much." We say together. She gave us a look but failed to maintain it as she dropped it and smiled at us playfully.

"I hate it when you two do that." She's always hated when we speak at the same time. For some reason, but it also amuses her. Not being able to help but smile or laugh when we did do it.

"Oh! Dad was wondering if he could come to set for dinner tonight." Jeff started. I rolled my eyes and shook my head to myself, crossing my arms as I prepared myself for what was to come.

"Not this shit again.." I exhaled a mumble. Mom gave me a pointed look, raising a scolding brow from her seat. I breathed in exasperatedly, turning my head away in protest.

"I mean, what I'm trying to say, is that he misses you." Jeff tries, hopeful. His eyes big with hope that our parents would get back together and we could be one big family again. In case you couldn't tell.. I wasn't as delusional. I knew what my parents had was over, and we weren't going to be a family again. 

"Dinner would be lovely. I just don't want you to get your hopes up." She smiles softly at him. Jeff smiled back happily, giving her a hug before making his way back up to his seat, knowing mom's break was just about up.

"Jeff.. I love you." This was something we've done ever since I could remember, it was something that I love about my mom most. No matter what was happening, even if something bad was happening or if it was a good day, she would always say she loved us. Reminded us. Sometimes it's annoying, when your real mad but, growing up it helped. Calmed me down and just remember that she does actually care. I would always say ' To the moon and back', while Jeff says...

"I love you more." He responded. It was something we did, I forget who started it. I think we all just started it. Together. Too bad we're not all together anymore.. I waited until Jeff was gone from sight before turning around, facing my mom. Giving her my famous dull-eyed look.

"Why!? Oh my God! Why would you do that to him!? He wants nothing more than for you and dad to get back together! Why get his hopes up, mom? Oh, wait, I bet I can tell you why. It's because you only care about your stupid movies! You're always too busy with your movies. You don't even realize how you're making them feel- you never have!" I went off on her hotly. She gave me a look of disbelief. 

"How can you even say that?! I am trying very hard to get back with your father, things don't just g-" I cut her off. Not being able to help but feel angry towards my mother in the heat of the moment, bitterness spewing out.

"Because you did this before! A few times actually. And every time you leave Jeff heart broken.. like you left dad." She pauses for a moment, the hurt clear on her face but she tries not to show it, swallowing it down instead.

".. And what about you? How does this leave you feeling in all this?" She asked, as if to get straight to the root of everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm sad and angry because it is hurting me too. I'm mad for my father and brother more than I am for myself. I feel angrier that my father really does love her and she's too busy filming to actually see that. Then there's also Jeff.. Who just wants our parents together, not wanting them to split up. 

"You want to know what I think? Fine. I think you only care about your movies. Your career..! Nothing else but that. For example, on Jeff and I's fifteenth birthday, it was the weekend with dad. But you didn't say anything, why? Because you were too busy filming a movie." I recalled. 

"Aunna, not this again. I told you I was sorry about that but a very impor-" I shook my head, my anger making me blind at this point.

"You love your movies so much- then I hope you just disappear with the damn things!" I began walking off when I heard my mom call out for me to come back.

"Aunna?! Aunna, wait, please! I.. I love you.." She tried. I stopped for a second, before shaking my head, going outside to clear my head.

   I paced back and forth frantically for a while as I stewed to myself. Watching the crew members walk back and forth, an actor or actress of another set run to make it in time to their own sets to begin their own filming. God, she seriously pisses me off when it comes to her movies. I love my mom, a total mama's girl. But since the divorce.. it's like she's filming even more than she was before! I hate it! .. I guess I just miss the little extra attention Jeff and I used to get... I know they won't get back together, but Jeff doesn't see that. He still thinks there's a chance. I mean, he looks at mom like she's a Goddess! I used to also, when I was younger. I see past it now. I see her flaws and faults. She's still just human.. I sighed to myself, stopping mid-step. I should go back in.. Say, I'm sorry.

    I exhaled out guiltily, hanging my head as I turned on my heel to make my way back inside. I made my way back inside, heading towards the set, going for mom's seat as I often do when we come here. I scanned around when I got back, people were running around in a panic, the lights flicking, the spotlight lamps were falling over and created sparks. It was chaos! Then... there was my mother. Being electrocuted from the metal bars she had her hands wrapped around. Everyone was yelling, but I think my mother's, Jeff's and I's were the loudest. Those screams echoing in my mind hauntingly. Her body rocking back and forth from the force and her screams nothing but pure get me off this thing!  And the smell, the smell of burning flesh that was lingering in the air. Forever embedded into my memory.

"MOM!!"
"I'm sorry.."

   I stood outside the building as the paramedics walked by, pushing the stretcher with a black body bag that contained my mother's now deceased body. She was dead.. and I couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault. I told her to disappear, and now she's dead. She died while filming one of her movies, after I had told her to disappear in one.. I didn't even say I loved her back.. To the moon and back. She died, thinking that I hated her, resented her. I cringed away from the sight of the body bag at the thought and guilt, seeing dad pull up in his van.

"Aunna! Jeff! Are you two alright!? Oh my God..!" Dad ran out of his van, pulling Jeff and I in a tight hug. It was clear he was in panic mode, his worried state making me feel worse as I blamed myself.

"I caused it. I told her to disappear. Dad.. I.. I didn't even get to say goodbye." I looked up at him, feeling lifelessly. I felt so bad I was beginning to lose feeling, my body wanting to shut down. In my arms, legs.. my heart.. I didn't want to feel this. I don't want to feel anything..

"No. No- Oh God, no! Aunna, this was not your fault. It had nothing to do with you like that. It was, it was an accident. A terrible, terrible accident..  And... and I didn't get to say goodbye either. But I wish I could have. God, I wish I could have.." Dad pulled me in another hug while Jeff sat there staring numbly. His emptiness made me feel even more hollow. The guilt making me want to crawl in a corner and die.

"I'm sorry, Jeff.." I looked away from him painfully and pulled out of dad's hold. I retreated to the van, climbing into the back to let Jeff sit in the front as I always do. 

    Dad thought about moving. So that was what we did. Of course, the movers weren't available until mom's funeral. Go fucking figures.. We moved to Ludlow, Maine, where mom lived when she was younger before becoming an actress. There we had mom's funeral. I haven't slept since the incident. Not really anyways. So, I was tired, beyond tired actually. I was like a walking zombie with the way I looked. Bags under my tired eyes, trudging instead of walking. I looked miserable. I felt miserable.. And there was nothing I could do, yet so much going on. I killed my mom. We were forced to move.. So, I couldn't sleep..

    I got ready slowly for the day. I wasn't wearing a dress to the funeral, which was today. No, my mom knew I didn't like dresses. That I didn't like to wear them, so I wasn't going to try and please her now by doing so. Just wouldn't be right. So I opted for some other black clothes instead. Plain black jeans and top, putting my usual light blue jean jacket on over it. Wasn't gonna try pleasing her by not wearing my usual jacket either, it was a part of who I was, and she knew that. 

   Jeff and I stood in front of our mom's casket, surrounded by a bunch of reporters and other people I honestly had no clue were. Fans, more than likely. You'd think they'd show some Goddamn respect.

    I ignored the talking around me, growing more and more irritated with all the press that was surrounding us. I threw my flower in and slowly pulled my eyes away to glance at Jeff. He knelt beside her casket closely, staring at it sorrowfully. I walked backwards a few steps, not being able to stay any longer with all the people around, before finally turning around and started making my way towards the new house. Dad, resting a hand on my shoulder as I started to depart. It was obvious he was just seeing if I was alright, but I wasn't. I just wanted to leave. Not caring about having to walk back. So long as it meant not being here another minute. There was no way I was waiting for dad and Jeff; I'd rather get home and try to get some sleep or something. 

   I looked up to survey the area, nothing but people hounding for photos and people trying to get a closer look. It was ridiculous! My eyes continued to wander, lingering over to see three boys around my age standing off by a tree. Just watching the event unfold from a distance like some others were. But something about them stood out. Okay.. so, one of them stood out. The middle one, he was cute from the brief second I saw him. Immediately I was drawn to him, not being able to help but stare as I continued my departure. He stared back at me, seeming to be compelled to do the same too. Our eye contact was cut off as a news reporter cut off in front of me, taking a barrage of pictures of me. I stopped for a moment, my hand coming up to cover my face from the bright flashing lights to the face. Fucking reporters, man..

"Excuse me! Excuse me! You're the daughter of Renee Hallow, correct? How-" He started. I seethed, slapping the camera out of my face as I grimaced away from its view.

"Get that shit out of my Goddamn face!" I snapped. I rushed around the crowd of reporters, ignoring the gawking and jawing of those around me. Great, I can see the headline now. 

   I got out in front of the new house and luckily the movers were already unloading the trucks. I sulked up the stairs and went through the front door, dodging all the movers along the way. Luckily dad showed us the house before hand and we all picked our rooms already, so everything was already planned out. I even brought my bag that day and hid a few things that needed to be hidden. For now, that is. I made it up the stairs begrudgingly and went straight to the room I had picked out from prior, grateful to see that mostly everything was all in there. Of course, I'll have to unpack but that can wait till tomorrow. I walked in, going straight over to my naked bed and flopped down, falling asleep almost instantly. 

─ ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ─

"Aunna.. Why? Why would you do this to me, Aunna? Why would you kill me? You did this to me!" "Mom?" I looked around the thick black fog that haunted my surroundings, not being able to find anything or anyone. Something about the fog was ominous. Making me feel uneasy as it swirled around me.

"You've always hated me! You couldn't wait to see me gone! That's why you killed me!"

"No! Mom?! I didn't kill you. I swear! I didn't mean to say what I did! I wasn't the one that killed you- I- It was an accident. Please! I love you!" The fog continued to spiral around me, making my emotions and senses heighten uncomfortably.

"You never loved me! You were always an ungrateful brat! That's why you killed me, isn't it!? I didn't give you enough!? Well, guess what, Aunna!? I'll come back and get you. You just wait and see. You killed me... SO, I'LL KILL YOU!"

─ ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ─

    I shot up from the bed screaming. My heart pounding in my chest, with sweat running down my forehead. I looked around to get a sense of time of day, only to be greeted with darkness. I sighed, calming myself and just as I was about to lie back into bed I heard a small whine. I stopped laying down, scratching my head in confusion as my doors were suddenly thrown open. 

"What's wrong? Why'd you scream?!" I stared at dad for a moment, shaking my head dismissively shortly after.

"Nothing. Just a bad dream.. You can go back to bed." Dad nodded drowsily, trudging off back to bed, revealing Jeff behind him. Jeff watched as dad went back to his room, walking further into the room after hearing dad close his door. That's when I heard the small whine again. 

"What the hell is that?" I asked myself clueless. I climbed out of bed to investigate as Jeff started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I inquire. I bent down and looked under my bed, but didn't find anything. I hummed in confusion, lifting my head out from under the bed only to come face to face with a.. kitten?

"Why the hell is there a small adorable little kitty in my room?" I ask in seriousness. Jeff laughed more and sat down on the end of my bed while I got up from the floor. I picked up the kitten and held it while sitting back down on the bed.

"Well, dad and I went to his new clinic to check out the place. And I uh.. may or may not have gotten scared by their mother." I petted the kitten as it started purring up against me, the bond forming rather quickly between us.

"So, if the mother was there why did you take it?" I raised a brow.

"She kinda ran off afterwards. But I convinced dad to let us each have one. What are you going to name it anyways? They're both girls." He continues, stepping closer to pet her as well.

"I don't know. How about.. Monroe?" The kitten looked up and started rubbing her head against my chin.

"Really? Monroe?" He chuckled teasingly, me giving him a dry look in return.

"Oh, and what did you name yours?" I asked with a knowing smirk. His laughing fades and cleared his throat.

"Tiger." I bit the inside of my cheek. 

"That's what I thought." He rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah, yeah.. Hey, so.. You remember, Gus Gilbert, right?" He asked randomly after a few moments of silence. I thought about it for a moment before getting a dirty look on my face, him nodding as he can tell I was recalling.

"Sadly. Yes. I forget the biggest reason why but I can remember that I hated him like no other.  Ugh, I still wish I could hit him or something." Jeff nods.

"Yeah, well, he tried to get dad going today. Started telling me how he and mom used to go out back in high school." I shook my head, rolling my eyes with a scoff.

"What an ass! I remember now, it was things like that that made me hate him so much." He nodded his head in agreement.

"You know he actually has a son now? Drew. He's cool. Kinda hard to believe his father is Gus." I made a face.

"I feel bad for that kid. I mean, you just know Gus is nothing but an ass to him.. Oh God, don't tell me he looks like him!" I feign a horrified look.

"No. He's not actually his father. Step, but still.. Anyway. I'm going back to bed. Dad's making us go to school tomorrow." I nodded my head, but groaned as I heard what tomorrow was.

"Of course, he is! Night, Jeff. Oh and Jeff..? Thanks. For the cat.. She means a lot to me." He smiled while walking towards the door.

"No prob, really. I know you love animals. Night, Aunna." I nodded my head lying back and started petting the kitten a bit more, trying hard to get back to sleep.