{Gender neutral reader}
"Send help please man"
*Modern AU*
[Chaotic]
.

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[I'm a bit busy with some work at school. So the next chapter will be a little delayed... Sowwy :(
But here's a chatfic to keep you occupied]

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•° Where your father left you °•

Diluc: whoever named the gc name that... Just know I hate you

Childe: it's kinda funny thooooo

You: yea,,, plus Kaeya did it 🤭✌️

Diluc: I fucking hate you... Go eat shit

You: GASP.... YOU DID NOT JUST SAID THAT

Kaeya: *eating popcorn* some shit bouta go downnn

Zhongli: Kaeya. No

Dottore: do it for million dollars

Kaeya: who's the cash??

Dottore: yk who's...

Kaeya: deal 😏

Kaeya: this is why your father passed... Bc of you being such a jerk

You: Slay 👑💅

Zhongli: why (name)...

Venti: he's crying rn 💀

Venti: and he's breaking all the wine glasses, bro I need them to drink out of ಠ_ಠ

Kaeya: tell him to cry more bc he's dad is a bad father figure

Childe: comrade. That's too far

Diluc: Fuck you, I don't want to see your face in my tavern again

Kaeya: WHAT?!!? BUT I WAS JUDT JOKING

Dottore: Sheesh... I'm out-

Diluc: No one is leaving.

Dottore: you ain't my father.

Scaramouche: bro I just got the weirdest ad on Spotify... It's disgusting

You: What is it??

Childe: I see a little silhouetto of a man~~

*Scaramouche has kicked "Childe" out of "Where your father left you"*

Scaramouche: No

You: way to ruin the mood

Dottore: agreed

Venti: booooo you stink! Get off stage

Kaeya: *throws popcorn*

Scaramouche: I will crush your little skulls

Venti: bet

Kaeya: yeah sure bottom omega

Kazuha: confirmed, he's such a omega bottom eww disgusting 😒

Scaramouche: I - no!

*You added back "Childe" to "Where your father left you"*

You: ewww disgust rn

Childe: Lmao

Pantalone: hey (name)? There's this short ugly person looking for you

You: ???

You: who??

You: where??

You: why??

Pantalone: idk

Zhongli: what does he look like?

Pantalone: idk

Childe: where is he?

Pantalone: I. D. K

La Signora: you're hopeless

Kazuha: oh is that bitch who got slayed by the Raiden Shogun like my friend, heyyyy

Kazuha: how's it feel being dead in the game??

Kaeya: LMFAO

Venti: HAHAHAHA BEAT RHST SUCKERRRRR

*Venti sent an attachment to his post*

Childe: LOL

La Signora: it's not funny. Plus at least I had the best funeral than your no bitches friend's

Dottore: it was so shit. I immediately fell asleep when we're done

Childe: same

Scaramouche: I didn't went

Kazuha: excuse me... Tomo had lots of bitches, including myself. And Scara

You: you dated him... Without telling me??

Zhongli: here we go again

You:WHY TF YOU DISNT TELL YOYR CLOSEST BEST FROJEND ANOUT IT YOU OUTTLE PIECE OF SHOTT

Scaramouche: calm the fuck down

Hu Tao: You. Held. A. Funeral. Without. Telling. Me. About. It??

Diluc: Rip

Venti: Liyue has too many psychopaths

Venti: @Xiao ahem....

Zhongli: please don't disturb him

Venti: ik ik... @Xiao @Xiao

Pantalone: wait... I think it was him, who was looking for you (name)

Childe: congratulations. You won the most unintelligent award to mankind

Dottore: *claps in very disappointment*

Xiao: what do you want? I'm sleeping rn

You: you're sleeping now? Aren't you looking for me??

Xiao: I gave up, it's too tiring

Xiao: now. Let me fucking sleep don't you dare Venti disturb me

Venti: so mean 😒 emo edgy tsundere omega bottom shitty brat

Arlecchino: I think everyone needs to put their phones away and get some holy water on them

Kaeya: especially Venti

Kazuha: I have anti horny spray at the ready

Scaramouche: bro you need a whole pool of that for Heizou

Kazuha: ikr

Heizou: I can hear you...

Scaramouche: OH SHIT UHBMH BYEES

Kazuha: . . . Brb I need to go check on my dear friend rq

Dottore: yeah about him....

You: uhmmmm

Kazuha: you didn't...

Dottore: uhm we sorta took his corpse and did some experiments on him...

Kazuha: R. U. N

Dottore: $#$$(&&DKCKYKHOOCWCKGMJNLTVSPEkckbyr w29586+

You: I'm sorry.

You: $(_(#(2)#)#)*eotfkskmeLCKVMKGL3950-:3

Kazuha: suffer

Kaeya: damn...

Venti: SLAYYYYY KING 👑💅

•° Where your father left you °•
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(Yeah.... Just bored rn
No idea why I wrote this)

<3