a/n: sorry for the hiatus! got caught up at school. also for context, i changed emilie's death day to three years after lila was born (though the same day) because otherwise the last chapter doesn't make any sense LOL. she still doesn't remember much so it doesn't really change anything.

When I woke up, I felt so disoriented it was a struggle to even lift my head. Tears streamed down my face, and my pillowcase was soaked like they had been for a long time now.

"Hermione?" I croaked softly.

"Lila," Hermione's voice appeared just outside my canopy. "Are you alright? I heard crying, but—"

"I'm alright," I told her. "But maybe tell Hagrid I won't be in class today. I'll come talk to him later, when I'm feeling better."

Hermione was quiet for some time. "What about Divination?"

"Trelawney doesn't care." I grumbled. "I think I predicted I'd be sick next class so I could sleep in anyway."

"Oh, Lila," Hermione sighed. "I'll bring you breakfast, alright?"

I wasn't sure I could keep anything down, but I hummed my agreement. I fell asleep again, dreamlessly this time, and woke up to fruit and several muffins beside Brutus' new terrarium on my nightstand.

I ate slowly, letting my dream come back to me. I scribbled a few things into my journal, hoping that getting them out of my head might help the pain recede.

My mother was in love with Harry's. Yet another romantic tragedy on my mother's side of the family. She wouldn't go to James and Lily's wedding, then they both died, and eventually she married my father. Did she love him? I wasn't sure if I'd ever know.

Emilie and Lily were known to be very good friends. Dumbledore had told me last year. Lily especially had been heartbroken when she disappeared. Had she loved Emilie too?

Even as I wrote her name, I realized how similar it was to my own. Lily. Lila. I felt my heart seize again in my chest.

Sirius Black was good friends with my mother — enough to keep some sort of secret for her. Did he know where she was when she went into hiding?

"You're not supposed to be here," he'd said. That made sense. She'd trusted him with her life — had she trusted him with her heritage? If he'd really been working for Voldemort, he'd have told him about her, right?

Snape knew about her heritage. Maybe he found out while he was trying to help her with Occlumency. He'd kept her secret too. He'd also been in love with Lily.

Furthermore, Sirius was Harry's godfather? That's just how close James and Sirius must have been, then. Why would Sirius go after Harry? Had he truly just gone mad in Azkaban? Anyone would after spending all that time with Dementors.

But he said he had a "slimy, rat-faced traitor" to track down. I also remembered him apologizing to Harry, but at the time I'd thought it was just for losing his parents. Maybe he'd done something — told somebody something he shouldn't have.

Maybe it had been Snape. After all, my mother had accused him of working with Voldemort. He'd apologized to her too, and Black didn't trust him.

Maybe there was just more to this than I could divulge at the moment, so I took a break.

A break turned into a long nap. I didn't end up going to class the next day either. Knowing it was Double Potions, I figured Snape would recognize what was wrong.

I went to classes on Friday since my head had finally stopped spinning with thoughts. Deciding I'd tested my luck enough by skipping on Thursday, I still went to detention. I realized I'd kind of missed Malfoy, and I knew he wouldn't look at me in the pitying way all my friends had been recently.

"Where were you yesterday?" He asked me immediately. "Wednesday too."

"Sick." I replied.

He squinted at me, incredulous. "There are potions for that."

I laughed dryly. "Not for this kind of sickness, I don't think." I got right to work on my side of the room. "But it's alright. I'm feeling better now, mostly."

He didn't look like he believed me, so I changed the topic. I'd reached S and was examining the multitude of scorpion poisons with great interest.

"Care for a sip of Scorpius maurus?" I asked Malfoy jokingly, showing him the vial of yellow liquid.

"Will it kill me?" He drawled, seeming amused.

"Yes, it's a very fast-acting poison that immediately targets—"

"I'll take some," he interrupted me. "If I have to listen to you talk any longer."

I laughed, eased by the familiar banter. "I'll make sure to keep this away from you, then."

"Scorpius would be a cool name, wouldn't you say?" He asked as I put the vial into a holder on the shelf.

I snickered. "This is coming from a boy named Draco Malfoy."

"Fair point," he agreed. "But wouldn't Scorpius Malfoy just sound so much more impressive?"

"I actually rather like Draco," I said, continuing to place more poisons into the holder. "It suits you."

"Really?"

I turned around to see him pompously adjusting his tie while staring at his reflection in one of the larger beakers. I laughed and he whirled around.

"Stop that!" His face flushed pink. I stifled another laugh for his sake. "Why are you like this? Every time I turn around you're standing there, staring at me with those eyes of yours."

I tilted my head, teasing. "My ogre eyes, you mean?"

"Never mind that," He shook his head at me, though a fond smile crept onto his face at the memory. "Have you ever heard that you're off-putting?"

"Oh, many times." I snickered. "Weren't you there last year? Everyone thought I was having tea in the Chamber of Secrets with Great Uncle Voldy—"

I only realized what I'd said when I saw Malfoy wince. My hand immediately flew to my mouth. We stared at each other in tense silence for a few long minutes. Of course, I'd gone and ruined it all again.

Malfoy still had yet to speak. He looked midway between laughing and running away, and I really didn't want him to do the latter.

Quietly, I muttered. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"You're . . . what?" Malfoy tried to look cheerful. "You must be joking—" At the grim look on my face, his smile dropped. "You aren't."

"I wasn't supposed to tell you that," I repeated, more panic in my voice. "Malfoy, you can't tell anybody—"

"It all makes sense now," he shook his head at me in wonder. "The Parseltongue, the diary, why you've been saying his name." He moved closer to me, as though this were a normal secret we were sharing. "When did you find out?"

I thought back to my mother. To Snape. To Sirius Black. She and I shared a track record of trusting untrustworthy people.

"Can I trust you?" I asked. Malfoy nodded immediately.

"Yes."

I ended up telling him the whole story, about the diary and Anne Riddle and the meeting I had with Dumbledore in his office. I told him about being a Seer, my Occlumency lessons, how my mother disappeared without a trace to keep her secret. At some point in time we'd found ourselves sitting across from each other on the floor.

"Who else knows?" He asked after I'd finished.

"All of it?" I asked. He nodded. I swallowed. "Well, you're the first. Other than Dumbledore and a few of the teachers. I hope you're good at keeping secrets, Malfoy."

"I am when they matter."

"Not even the Ministry knows —" I said nervously. "They'd have me locked up in an instant if anything even mildly related to Voldemort happened."

"I won't utter a word." His silver eyes were uncharacteristically sincere, though they betrayed confusion. "You haven't even told your friends? Thomas? Granger? Potter? Weasley?"

"I couldn't." I sighed and put my face in my hands. "I don't know what they'd say. I mean, I'm sure you're a little terrified right now too."

Malfoy shook his head, gaze insistent. "If they were any good, they wouldn't change a thing about how they think of you. And neither have I."

Hope began to bubble in my chest. "Thank you."

He made a face. "Now don't get sympathetic with me. You terrify me either way."

"Good to know," I said, my mood brightening. "Let's get back to work."

The next Potions lesson went as normal. Malfoy was acting as if I'd never told him anything, and both of us had been acting like — well, friends. As far as I could tell, Malfoy was doing an excellent job of keeping his mouth shut. Professor Snape still wanted to keep us until we finished the storage room, however, so we had a few more nights of detention to go. If they all continued like the last one, minus the secret spilling, perhaps I would start to actually enjoy them.

Maybe I was imagining it, or creating some kind of false hope for myself, but with each passing day, it started to feel more and more like Malfoy was truly becoming my friend.