a/n: lila accidentally steals a snake

"What's all that, Hermione?" Harry asked, pointing at all three bags of her books.

"Well, I'm taking more new subjects than you, aren't I? Those are my books for Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, the Study of Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies—"

"What in earth are you doing Muggle Studies for?" Ron rolled his eyes. This was the fourth time he'd brought this up today. "You were raised by Muggles!"

"But it'll be fascinating to study them from the wizarding point of view," Hermione insisted.

"Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this year, Hermione?" asked Harry.

"That's what I said!" I exclaimed. Ron was snickering again. Hermione ignored us.

"I've still got ten Galleons," she said. "It's my birthday in September, and Mum and Dad gave me some money to get myself an early birthday present."

"How about a nice book?" suggested Ron, trying desperately to hold in another laugh. I found myself smiling into my straw.

"No, I don't think so," said Hermione. If she'd caught on to the joke, she didn't say anything. "I really want an owl. I mean, Harry's got Hedwig and Lila has Willow and you've got Errol—"

"I haven't," protested Ron. "Errol's a family owl. All I've got is Scabbers, and I want to get him checked over." He took Scabbers out of his pocket and placed him on the table."I don't think Egypt agreed with him."

I suddenly felt a strange twinge in my skull. I stopped drinking my milkshake and placed my hand over the spot and massaged it. "Ow," I muttered.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, but the feeling was gone.

"Brain freeze." I groaned.

"Yeah, maybe you should slow down some," Hermione eyed my nearly-finished milkshake warily. "We've got all day, there's no rush. Plus, there's a magical creature shop just across the street, so take your time."

After we were all fed and watered, we went over to Magical Menagerie. Hermione looked around the shop for a pet, while Ron inquired about rat tonic. I was drawn to a corner of the room where several serpents sat idly in terrariums.

I touched my fingers to the glass of a Western Hognose Snake. It had big, black eyes that stared up at me from where it was coiled, and it was adorable.

"Well aren't you cute? How are you today?" I asked it quietly. The general commotion of the other animals masked my Parseltongue, but I wanted to make sure no one heard me except for my new friend.

"Well, and you?" It replied.

"Also well," I told it. "I've always wanted a snake, but we're not allowed them in Hogwarts."

"A pity," said the Hognose. "It gets lonely here. The reticulated python above me won't shut up."

"I heard that," the much larger snake above it hissed.

"It's too bad you don't hear it more often," said the Hognose. I chuckled.

"Who's your friend?" Asked the milk snake beside the Hognose. I looked to see Harry was watching me curiously. I waved him over.

"Introduce yourself," I said. Harry sighed.

"Hi," Harry told them, making sure to keep his voice down despite all the racket. "I'm Harry. This is Lila."

"Pleased to meet you," said the milk snake. "Anyone interested in a purchase?"

"I'd buy all of you if I could," I told them. "But unfortunately, we can't. We've both already got very respectable owls, anyway."

"Bah, owls," the Hognose hissed. "All they do is make noise and complain. Owls have such an attitude, don't they? Strutting around like they own the place."

"You wouldn't say that about Hedwig," Harry protested. "She's one of the best owls you'll ever meet. Lila's owl is great too."

"Our friend Ron's got a rat," I told them. "If we bought a snake he might strangle us."

"Ah, typical," said the Hognose. "If it's ever any trouble, let him know we'd love to take it off his hands."

The snakes hissed in agreement. Harry and I looked at each other, amused.

After a while, we bid the snakes farewell and met with Ron at the counter.

"Well, if you don't want a replacement," the lady was saying, "you can try this rat tonic."

"Okay," said Ron. "How much — OUCH!"

There was a whir of orange as something the size of a small tiger pounced onto Ron's head and threw itself at Scabbers in the witch's hands.

"NO, CROOKSHANKS, NO!" cried the witch.
Scabbers squeezed through her hands and took off out the door.

"Scabbers!" Ron exclaimed, running after him. Harry and I looked to each other and followed. It took us the span of ten minutes to catch Scabbers.

"What was that?" Ron asked, massaging his head.

"It was either a very big cat or quite a small tiger," I said grimly.

"Where's Hermione?"

"Probably getting her owl." Harry said.

We walked back to Magical Menagerie, only to find Hermione holding the beast of a cat in her arms.

"You bought that monster?" Ron gaped like a fish.

"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" Hermione said excitedly.

He was a rather ugly looking cat, in my opinion, but I reached out to pet him anyway. His fur was very soft, admittedly, and he was purring.

"Hermione, that thing nearly scalped me!" Ron exclaimed.

"He didn't mean to, did you, Crookshanks?" said Hermione, lifting him closer to her.

"Come on, Ron," I tried. "He is kind of cute."

"I'm with the redhead on this one. That thing is abominable."

I looked around, befuddled as to where the voice was coming from. Ron and Hermione said nothing, still arguing over Scabbers, but Harry was looking around as well.

"Down here!"

Much to my surprise, Hognose had slipped into my pocket. How? I couldn't tell.

"What the—" I started, lowering my hand toward the snake. "How'd you get out? I can't take you with me, that's stealing!"

He slithered out and wrapped around my hand, staring up at me. "You're so freakishly tall, and I'd been working on making a hole in that tank for weeks. I've never met somebody that could talk to me before, so I wanted to come with you so I could plead my case."

"Plead your case?" I repeated incredulously. "You seem very nice, but I have an owl, and owls eat snakes. Not to mention if you come to school with me you'll be rooming with that all year," I pointed to Crookshanks, who was licking his fur contentedly.

Hermione and Ron stared at me with matching perplexed looks, forgetting their argument. To them, it must look like me and the snake were just hissing back and forth at each other.

"Anything is better than this," the Hognose pleaded. "I can't take it here anymore. I think I'll go insane."

I sighed exasperatedly. "But I have to buy you food and a terrarium and—"

"I'll hunt!" The snake said quickly. "I lived in the wild when I was younger! It'll be a piece of cake. I've grown sad and sedentary with this lifestyle."

"I have a terrarium," Harry said suddenly, not in Parseltongue. "I used to have a turtle. I can have the Dursley's mail it to me."

"What's that?" The Hognose asked me desperately. "What did he say?"

"It means you're in," I settled. Before the snake could get too excited, I added, "but you can't get me in trouble. No teachers can see you, or Percy Weasley, and you're only allowed out of my dorm at night. Also don't eat anyone else's pets, please and thank you."

"Anything you say, miss!" The Hognose chirped. I sighed. It was so cute, I didn't know how to say no to it.

"I'm putting you back in my pocket," I informed it. "Don't cause any mayhem, you little miscreant."

He politely did as he was told, happily settling back in my pocket. Ron and Hermione were at a loss for words. Harry looked very solemn.

"Lila, that snake is going to die," he said. I groaned, putting my face in my hands.

"What else am I supposed to do?" I huffed. "If I go back in there she'll think I stole it!" That, and well, I did really want to keep him. "Let's go, before I change my mind."

Once we reached the Leaky Cauldron, we found Mr. Weasley reading the Daily Prophet. On the front page there was another article about Sirius Black. I felt another twinge in my skull. Maybe I was just getting headaches today.

"Harry!" he said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks," Harry replied. "They still haven't caught him, then?" He motioned to the article. Mr. Weasley frowned deeply.

"No," he said. "They've pulled us all off our regular jobs at the Ministry to try and find him, but no luck so far."

"Would we get a reward if we caught him?" asked Ron. "It'd be good to get some more money—"

"Don't be ridiculous, Ron," said Mr. Weasley. "Black's not going to be caught by a thirteen-year-old wizard. It's the Azkaban guards who'll get him back, You mark my words."

The rest of the Weasleys walked into the bar. Ginny greeted Harry with an awkward "hello" before going off to help put things away. Percy extended a professional hand to Harry as if they were strangers. "Harry. How nice to see you."

"Hello, Percy," said Harry, clearly stifling a laugh. Ron was pressing his lips together trying to hold in his own.

"That's him?" The Hognose whispered to me from my pocket. I nodded grimly.

"That's him," I answered.

"Oh joy," said the Hognose, and I tried not to laugh.

"I hope you're well?" said Percy, pumping his arm up and down thoroughly.

"Very well, thanks—"

"Harry!" Fred exclaimed, giving Percy a solid elbow to the ribs and taking his place. He bowed deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy—"

"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred out of the way and taking Harry's hand in both his own. "Absolutely spiffing."

"That's enough, now," scolded Mrs. Weasley.

"Mum!" Fred exclaimed, as if he'd just noticed she was there. He seized her hand enthusiastically. "How really corking to see you—"

"I said, that's enough," Mrs. Weasley reprimanded. "Hello, Harry, dear. I suppose you've heard our exciting news? Second Head Boy in the family!" She pointed to Percy's silver badge with pride.

"And last," Fred muttered.

"I don't doubt that," said Mrs. Weasley. "I notice they haven't made you two prefects."

"What do we want to be prefects for?" said George, looking disgusted. "It'd take all the fun out of life."

Ginny giggled to herself.

"You should want to be a better example for your sister!" Mrs. Weasley snapped.

"Ginny's got other brothers to set her an example, Mother," said Percy, straightening his badge. "I'm going up to change for dinner." Once he was halfway up the stairs, George leaned in to whisper to us.

"We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us."

Much later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, I sat at the bar with my new friend, talking to it quietly. Nobody else was there, even the barkeeper had gone to bed.

It was rather stuffy in our room. I wasn't tired enough to sleep and I figured it would be better to go downstairs than to suffer.

"What shall I name you?" I asked it. "Do you have a name?"

The snake almost seemed to grimace. "The shop lady calls me Regina, but I don't like that. Too girly."

I giggled. "Hm, well, this can't be too hard. What kind of name do you want? Not every day you get to choose one for yourself."

"Something noble," the Hognose said pensively. "And strong."

"Hamlet," I offered. "Get it? Because you're a Hognose, and they make ham out of hogs—"

"You're terribly unfunny." The snake told me.

I sighed. "I know."

I continued down the path of Shakespeare. "What about Ophelia? Romeo? Portia? Brutus?"

"That one!" The snake agreed quickly. "I like the way that sounds. Brutus."

Brutus slithered in a little circle on the bar, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Lila?"

I was startled by Harry coming down the stairs, also in his pajamas and looking like he hadn't gotten much sleep. Brutus slithered up my arm and circled himself around my neck, resting there observantly.

"Why are you awake?" I asked him, bewildered.

"I can't sleep," he said, coming closer to me. "I — I overheard Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking about me." He shook his head. "I'm not scared, per say, just worried—"

"Come on, Harry, spit it out," I urged. He sat on the stool next to mine, looking like he'd just been told somebody died.

"Apparently, Sirius Black escaped Azkaban to come after me," said Harry, wringing his hands nervously. "He works for Voldemort and now he's escaped to try and kill me."

I bit my lip. I mean, someone trying to kill Harry wasn't a shocker, but it wasn't any easier to hear. "I'll do whatever I can to help keep you safe, Harry. Do Ron and Hermione know?"

"Not yet," he said. "But I'll tell them tomorrow once we're alone."

"You do that," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. "Christ, Harry, everybody's got it out for you."

"Sure seems that way, doesn't it?" He said glumly. As if remembering something, he looked to me curiously.

"Do you believe in death omens?" He asked. I laughed and shook my head.

"I believe your fate is what you want it to be," I told him. "Why, did you see one?"

"I saw a big, black dog before almost getting hit by the Knight Bus," Harry said. "And then it was on the cover of a book at Flourish and Blott's about death omens. Maybe it was just a coincidence—"

"I think you've got enough to worry about with Sirius Black without plaguing your mind with death omens," I said, patting his shoulder. "You're going to be fine, Harry. You survived Voldemort twice, not to mention a basilisk! Sirius Black has no idea what he's getting himself into."

"Thanks," Harry said dimly, seeming unconvinced. "I sure hope so."