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Jon cursed. Every moment he wasted was another moment someone could find him. He needed to leave right now, be gone before dawn, when they would send out their riders to come after him. But that proved more and more difficult as he failed to saddle his horse with his burnt hand.

His place was not here. It was with his brother on the battlefield, had always been. It had just taken him too long to realise.

(Which had become too common of an occurrence in his life.)

Robb would not execute him, he was sure of that. His brother would understand his need to avenge their father. There was no need to worry about it. He would be fine.

The saddle finally looked tight enough for him not to fall out. He was about to mount up when-

"What do you think you are doing?"

Jon whipped around.

"Elle." He cursed his heart that had started beating faster at her sight. "Why are you awake?"

"Do not change the subject." She slowly closed in on him. "I am not the one saddling a horse in the middle of the night."

"Get out of my way!"

Couldn't she see? He needed to go. He couldn't save his father, so he needed to at least protect his brother.

"And let you kill yourself? You know I cannot do this."

"Why do you care," he asked incredulously, "what happens to me?"

Jon liked to think the moment she took to answer meant something.

"Because we are friends. I do not want to see you harmed."

"If you truly were my friend, you'd know to let me go."

The light of the full moon fell through the window on the side, shining directly into Elle's face and lighting up her hair. The blonde streaks appeared almost silver. He needed to make her leave, no matter what it might take.

Jon straightened his back. "Why are you even here?"

"I just told you, you are my-"

"I don't mean here, right now. I mean, why are you here at Castle Black? You don't belong here."

Elle cocked her head in confusion. She took a few moments to answer.

"Because I like it here. It is calm and I get to-"

"But you don't belong here. You're not a brother of the Night's Watch, you're a woman. And those are not even allowed here."

He despised himself for every word that came out of his mouth. But he couldn't stop.

"So I ask again: Why are you still here?"

"You would not understand-"

"Wouldn't I? I have been a bastard my whole life, disregarded and hated because of things out of my control. You are a noblewoman and have never been anything else, no matter what you dress yourself up as. You cannot claim to know things I don't."

Where was all of this coming from?

"I have never claimed any of the like!"

"Then what was that whole spiel about knowing what bastards are treated like? Telling me you know me because we are the same? You have done nothing but lie to me, drawing me in with them, tricking me into liking you."

Elle was slowly becoming agitated. Good.

"I only said that to protect myself! If the wrong person found out about who I am-"

"Then what? Nothing will happen to you! You will return to your red palace and live in finery and luxury, far away from the rest of us lowly peasants. I suppose in that regard you are no different from the rest of your family, truly a monster."

Her face fell. "A monster?"

Finally.

The horse next to Jon started getting restless, but he needed just a bit more time. He was so close.

"Do you truly not see it?" He tried to gloat, to appear as Theon might have. "Your brother, your father, your grandfather. It runs in the family, I suppose."

Her voice had gotten so quiet. "I am nothing-"

"Rast, William, how you treat the people you view as not deserving of your respect." He thought back to his dream. "I wonder why you truly left King's Landing and Sunspear. You say it was because you weren't treated with respect, but I wonder if there might be something different there. Perhaps people just didn't like you. Perhaps there is a reason no one cared about you. That would explain why no one is looking for you. No one wants you."

Elle took a step back. Tears were welling up in her blue eyes. She looked as if Jon had punched her in the face, and he might as well have. He might feel better if he actually had.

Her lip trembled and she opened and closed her mouth several times, clearly searching for words to throw back at him.

Then something in her shifted.

"One day, when you find yourself bleeding out in the snow, betrayed by those you called friends, do not act surprised."

And with a cold gust of wind, she was gone. A tear fell down Jon's cheek.

In the end, he was returned by his friends, kept from deserting and by that making the biggest mistake of his life.

(Second biggest.)

Part of him had still wanted to leave to help Robb, but another part had wanted to get away from Elle, and from the feelings of guilt connected to her. Wherever she was, he didn't want to be.

But now that he was back, he needed to right his wrongs. And finally learn to apologise.

A knock on an old and rotten door. Creaking of the hinges as it opened.

"Hey," he whispered, head lowered.

"Hey." Her voice was trembling, eyes red and swollen. She had cried, because of him. "I thought you would be gone by now."

"I got convinced otherwise." He took a deep, deep breath. "I apologise for what I said. I was angry and desperate to make you leave. I just wanted to let you know that I don't believe anything of what I said."

"But you were right."

Jon's head snapped up, a protest ready on his lips. Elle held up a hand and motioned for him to come inside.

A small fire burnt in the hearth.

"I fear I have not been entirely truthful with you," she said after closing the door. "Again."

Jon just listened.

"You asked me several nights ago why I left Sunspear." Now she wasn't meeting his gaze. "And it is because of the very same reason I got there in the first place - my father wanted to use me for my claim, to better his position in the kingdom, completely ignoring my feelings on the subject."

And by her father she meant Prince Oberyn. The one she had only praised until now.

"Shortly before my nameday, I was climbing the castle walls again, when I suddenly heard Oberyn's voice. He was talking to his brother. They said my name, so I came closer. What I heard was them discussing marrying me to Doran's son, so that they could press my claim on the Iron Throne and have a direct connection to the next ruler.

"While Oberyn was critical of the plan, he did not disagree with it. I assumed this was a recent development, something they had only come up with after seeing me grow up. But then Doran, and I will never forget these words, he said 'This is the reason you brought her here in the first place'."

Elle stared past him, her gaze somehow both empty and full of sadness.

"What you said was true," she whispered. "No one cares about me."

Jon had underestimated the full weight of the words he had thrown at Elle. He wanted to go back in time and punch himself.

Instead, he stepped closer to her.

"That is not true. There are a lot of people who care about you."

She finally met his gaze. "Even if - their main priority is never me as a person, only what advantages I could bring them."

He wanted to tell her, right then and there, but he didn't know what this might do with her. She didn't love him back, and in her current state she was in no condition to properly handle such a statement.

"That might be how you see it, but to them that could be a different story."

She cocked her head. "My father tried to marry me off to ensure an alliance. My mother wanted to make me heir because she never was. Oberyn put me through a lord's education so that one day I would be prepared to take over the Seven Kingdoms. Doran only allowed me at Sunspear because he could use me to take revenge on House Lannister."

He was at a loss for words. There was no way it went this deep, right? Elle had been a child when most of these things were decided - could someone be truly this coldhearted to manipulate a little girl, treat her as nothing more than a pawn in a game?

"But..." He tried to find something to say to her. "There have to be people who don't know your true identity, and who like you just for you."

(Like me.)

"I mean..." She hesitated, tapping her fingers together. "Elia does not know. I think."

"And she still liked to spend time with you." She nodded. "Anyone else?"

"Everyone in Dorne, I suppose. And Joffrey - even though he knew, he simply saw me as his older sister."

"See? There are people who care about you, who want you, no matter what political power you could bring them."

Elle smiled. It was small, but still there. And if Jon hadn't been certain he would lay down his life for her, he was now.

"So go back to them."

"I cannot do that."

"Why?"

"I cannot leave here." She started rambling. "There is too much for me still to do, Mormont and Aemon have both become reliant on me."

"Your roles are not something that other men couldn't do."

"Still. I like it here. I have made friends."

"What is friendship compared to family?"

"A whole lot. If you are friends with the right people."

"But your family will want to see you again. We have all heard the songs."

"Again, I cannot leave here."

"Why?"

"Because I am in love with you!"

Elle froze. Jon almost took a step back.

"What?" he whispered.

She brought her hands up to her mouth, half covering it with them, almost appearing afraid of saying something else.

Elle was in love with him. Elle was in love with him. Elle was in love with him.

Jon wanted to jump up and down in joy. He wanted to shout out of the window, let the whole world know. A smile spread on his face, and he couldn't stop it, wouldn't stop it.

"I am sorry-" Elle said quietly, seemingly more to herself than to him.

Jon closed the distance between them, taking her hands into his. Her cold, calloused, beautiful hands.

"Do you really love me?"

"I love you more than life itself."

Jon's breathing had become heavy, his heart beating fast in his chest, filling his entire body with warmth. "I love you too."

Elle let out an audible breath. Her smile burnt bright, illuminating the entire room.

She carefully brought up a hand to his face and cupped his cheek. Jon shivered. She leaned in close, closer, always closer, until their lips almost touched.

"May I kiss you?"

"Please."

Then Elle closed the space between them and Jon's world exploded.

Her lips were cold, yet soft and comfortable. They stayed still for a few moments - and he treasured each and every one - before they slowly started moving against his.

Jon didn't know how to react when Elle's hand moved from his cheek to his hair, finding grip there, especially when she brought up her other and brought it to the back of his neck, slipping a few fingers beneath the collar of his tunic. His breath hitched and all he could do was lay his hands on her waist and upper back, gently pressing her closer.

Their bodies were so close, closer than Jon would have ever imagined them being. He tried to internalise the way her lips felt against his, how they moved, how they tasted. He wouldn't let himself forget about this moment.

Elle gently tugged on his hair making him gasp, and she used this opportunity to deepen their kiss. He could feel her smile against his lips.

His knees started to buckle, turning soft against her ministrations. He pressed her body closer to his in a desperate effort to stay on his feet.

After what had felt like an eternity, Elle broke the kiss. Jon didn't open his eyes just yet, instead leaning his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breath.

"That was-"

"Amazing," she finished for him, giggling.

He opened his eyes and drew back from her a little, without breaking their embrace.

Elle's cheeks were flushed, her lips red, a bright smile adorning them. And with the way her eyes sparkled, Jon was sure he would never see a more beautiful sight.

"Was this your first?" she asked.

He could only nod in response.

"I am glad we were able to share this experience."

He was Elle's first kiss. He wondered if he was her first love as well.

"You still need to go," he told her.

She laughed. "After this? Are you mad?"

"I can take care of myself, but your family needs you." He let his fingers draw circles on her waist. "Besides, I have oaths to uphold. I swore my vows, and I almost broke them tonight already."

"Yes, I suppose that is correct." Elle's gaze had sombered.

He laid a finger under her chin and lifted it up so that his eyes could meet hers. Her beautiful, wonderful, enchanting blue eyes.

"I am sure we will meet again," he said.

"As certain as the sun will rise every morning."

Jon helped Elle pack her things, and went to the kitchen to get her some food for her travels. When he arrived at the stables, she had already saddled one of the mares, ready to depart.

"Here," he said, handing her the bundle. She quickly tucked it away, before meeting his gaze again.

He wanted to tell her something, and he felt she wanted the same thing, but instead, she pulled him towards her again and locked their lips in another kiss.

This one was shorter than the last, but more desperate. They knew this may very well be their last, even if they wouldn't admit to it.

Elle broke the kiss way too soon for his liking, and he chased her lips for a single moment. She cupped his face in her hands.

"I love you, Jon Snow."

"I love you, Cerelle Baratheon."

It was the first time he had ever said her true name out loud, and judging by the smile on her face, she liked it immensely.

She stepped away from his arms and led her horse out of the stables, where she mounted it.

One final nod towards him, and then Elle turned her mare around and galopped out of the gates of Castle Black.

He would take care of explaining everything that had happened tonight to Mormont on the morrow. But for now, Jon's eyes stayed on Elle as long as possible, until she was but a tiny dot in the distance.

His golden princess.

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