Ooh, y'all might not like me after this chapter lol.

So give me a run for my money, sippin bubbly feelin lovely, livin lovely
Just love me
24
○●○

The moment the words came outta my mouth, I regretted it instantly. I watched as her face contorted to a look of blank surprise, and then her eyes widened. Why the hell did I do this? Bad move. Stupid move Nova, stu-

"What?" She blurted out and immediately shook her head, "Nova s-stop playin with me." Except her voice wasn't as loud and confident as it usually was. It was pitched a bit higher, with nervousness and shock.

I hesitated for a second, aw what the hell...I already put it out there. Can't take it back now. "Nah, I'm not playin games. I'm serious Dee. I really like you, and more than just a friend."

It was silent. Her face was unreadable as she stared at me, which made me nervous.  I didn't know what to expect. I tried to read her gaze but her face was emotionless, except for maybe her eyes which she casted down on the ground.

Finally, after it felt like an eternity went by, I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, "C'mon Dee...say somethin."

"Deadass?" She asked, her voice so soft and quiet I almost did a double take. Now she was lookin at her hands, which were nervously fumbling on her front.

But I still nodded, even if she wasn't makin eye contact, and said firmly "Deadass."

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and I frowned. I could already tell she was gettin uncomfortable...why wouldn't she be? I just admitted to havin feelings for my bestfriend's girl. Now I was startin to regret it even more...

"When?" She asked, in that same soft voice that was so unlike her. I didn't like that voice on her.

But I still answered her question, "About 4 weeks ago. I don't know when it exactly started, but once I came to the realization, I couldn't deny it. And the more time I spent with you, hangin out after practices, on your porch, goin to the studio, watchin the movie...I couldn't help it. I caught feelings for you, Dee. Suddenly, all my thoughts were about you and how to make you smile when you're with me. Because you had a beautiful smile and I always wanted to see you wear it. Suddenly, it didn't bother me that you teased me about my hair or personality anymore, because I found it endearing. Suddenly, it wasn't some game anymore to me, it was real." It's probably what I get too, for thinkin I could make you fall for me, but instead the opposite happened. Karma's a bitch.

But it didn't even matter anymore what the goal was in the beginning. "You made me realize somethin Dee; girls aren't playthings that I can use whenever I wanted to. And nobody is always gonna automatically like you just because you expect them to, so I shouldn't act like I deserve everybody's attention and respect," oh great, I'm gettin in my feelings now, I sighed and continued, "I was an asshole when we first met, and I won't try to deny it. But I swear, I'm not that same Nova anymore. Believe it or not, you changed the kid," I said with a short chuckle, scratchin the back of my head before shrugging. "So, I just wanted to put that out there."

She was still lookin down at the ground, and I couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, I walked over till we were a good foot apart. Dee tensed, but still said nothin.

"C'mon Dee," I muttered softly, "What do I gotta do to make you talk to me?"

"Nova," She said, her voice was still wavered a little so she cleared her throat, "I'm...I'm with Zay."

"Yeah, I know," I nodded, although I couldn't act like it didn't feel like a punch the gut. "That's why I tried to keep my distance...because my feelings for you were becoming too overwhelming. So sorry if you took that the wrong way."

She nodded. And then it was silent again, the bell rang in the distance, but neither of us moved. I just stood there, watchin her as she played with her fingers, avoidin eye-contact.

"I'm sorry." She finally said.

I just shrugged my shoulders, "It's whatever, I don't expect your feelings to suddenly change just cuz mine did."

She seemed to be relieved at that, but still remained quiet. It was still so weird, seein Deetranada so speechless. It almost made me wish she would just yell at me or call me a 'Pineapple Headass' or somethin. Anythin was better than this silence.

"Dee," I said softly, "Can I ask you an honest question? Did you ever...think about me as more than a friend?"

She looked up at me, but the look on her face was anger, "Why would you ask me that, man? I don't wanna be in the middle of this petty feud, Nova."

Taken aback, I just nodded, "Okay. Sorry..."

She was the one who ran her fingers through her scalp, throwin some braids behind her ears. "I didn't mean to snap..." she mumbled.

"Maybe," I said after another period of silence, "Maybe we should just give each other some space."

"You really think that's the best thing to do?" She asked me, lookin up at me. Almost as if she wanted me to say no.

God no. "Yeah, probably."

"Okay." I didn't miss the disappointment in her voice. She adjusted her backpack on her shoulder, avoidin my gaze again, "I'll see you around then."

"See you." I mumbled, and watched her walk away. I dunno why, but the lyrics to the song I wrote that one night came to mind.

They say if you love something, to let them go...

I guess this was me finally lettin go.

○●○

True to my word, I gave Dee space. I still sat next to her in Physics, but we didn't talk as much. Just greetings really. It was still hard to tell how she was feelin or what she was even thinkin about this whole thing. I was used to her aggressive, loud personality, and I know she's quiet because she doesn't feel all that comfortable with me like she used to.

But after first I just couldn't do it, so I decided to skip the rest of the day, it was Friday, but luckily for me we didn't have a game today. I went by my locker to grab my sweatshirt, when I felt someone's presence beside me. I shut my locker and saw Kayla there again.

"You lied." She said.

Internally, I rolled my eyes. I'm really not in the mood for this.

She crossed her arms, "You swore that you had it under control. What happened?"

I narrowed my eyes, "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes, "Really Nova? I saw y'all come from outside the other day."

"Okay so? She was the one who followed me out there."

Kayla looked surprised, "Wait-what?"

"Yeah," I said, before pullin my sweatershirt over my head, "So next time you wanna accuse people of somethin, at least have the decency to make sure you're facts are correct. Bye."

I tried to walk away from her, but she just caught up with me again.

"Dont act like I'm the bad guy here, Nova. I was tryna warn you, for both Dee's sake and your sake."

"Well, it's too late for warnings. I already told her how I felt."

"What?!"

"Yesterday, out in the yard," I went on, "And she said no so you and Zay have nothin to worry about. Now please, leave me alone."

"I wasn't just doin it for Zay..." She muttered, before walkin off.

○●○

I dribbled the ball a couple of times, before runnin up to do a layup, feelin myself unwind at the sound of the ball jinglin against the chains. I was in the mood for Kendrick, so I ended up listenin to "Swimming Pools", an older song, as I dribbled the ball again.

Pour up, drank

Headshot, drank

Sit down, drank

Stand up, drank

I tied my hair up into a bun, before practicin some more dribbling techniques as I mouthed the words to the song.

Pass out, drank

Wake up, drank

Faded...faded

I dribbled it halfway down the court, and bent my knees, shootin a perfect three pointer. The chains jiggled again. I sighed, it just wasn't workin. Usually basketball at the park was a good outlet, but I still couldn't get my mind off Dee. I retrieved my basketball and sat down on the bench.

"Nova?"

I removed one headphone, lookin around for the source of my name. I wasn't really surprised when I saw Ekko on the other side of the fence, leanin on it. I paused my music and took both off.

"Yeah, Ekko?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were home? And what are you doing back so early?"

I shrugged, standin up to exit the court, "My stomach was hurtin and I went to the nurse, but d he wasn't much help so decided to come home and rest." I put extra emphasis on my stomach hurtin by rubbin my abdomen and pretended to be in pain.

Whether Ekko bought it or not, he just shrugged, "Okay, just text me next time. I coulda got you." I nodded as I walked towards him, "You good, man?"

"Gotta lot on my mind," I muttered, "Actually, I was wonderin if we could hit the studio today?"

Ekko nodded, "Okay. Is Dee comin along?"

I frowned and shook my head, "Nah, I don't think Dee's gonna come around for a while."

Ekko's eyebrows raised in mild concern, "Why? What happened?"

I shrugged, puttin my hands in my sweatshirt, "Finally told her how I felt."

"Oh word? That's grea-"

"And she said no."

"Damn," Ekko shook his head with a sigh, "You wanna talk about it, Nova?"

I shook my head, "I'd rather just finish this song in the studio."

"Alright," He said, "Whatever you want. I'm here for ya."