You sat there and stared at the screen while you replayed the message over and over again. Josh's voice sounded like music to your ears even more so than his vocals when he was performing. It had been so long since you heard him speak to you and while there was a sadness to his voice, it made you oddly happy to hear it. It brought comfort that you didn't know you needed after your conversation with his sister.

On the other hand, it angered you that he sounded so vulnerable. You were left to pick up your own pieces, just like he had said you would. You were the one who was supposed to be sensitive after the fight, if you would dare call it that.  However, it was more just Josh yelling at you and then you running away.

As you listened to his voicemail, you noted how much his voice had changed and grown somehow huskier and softer at the same time. His words flowed through your ears like honey. The way he pronounced them so perfectly and clearly like he always had but had also managed to portray so much emotion and passion into the short message. He was always the goofball thinking he was way funnier than he really was. That was part of his charm. You were the first person to laugh at whatever stupid thing he said whether it was actually funny or not. The toothy grin that would spread across his features was contagious and you were hopelessly afflicted, even after all this time.

There was a fluttering feeling arising in the pit of your stomach as you pictured what he must have looked like speaking into the phone. He had probably been sitting on his bed, wherever that was, leaned over the side with his elbows resting on his knees and fingers weaved deep into his curls. His brow would have been furrowed and he would have been staring at either some loose fiber in the carpet or a speck of dust floating in the sunlight. He was quite the articulate person and most everything that came out of his mouth was well thought out before he spoke. You imagined Josh pacing around his room thinking of what to say for minutes on end before finally finding the nerve to call, an uncharacteristic lack of confidence taking over.

It was a nice thought to picture him out of sorts after all you went through but at the end of the day, you were immensely proud of him and the rest of the guys for how far they have come in the last few years.   They had won a Grammy award and played on Saturday Night Live for crying out loud.  After having spent the last few years touring all over the world and putting out music that ignited a new light in so many people's lives... It was a feat anyone could be proud of.  Despite everything, you knew you were.

You let your eyes flicker to the mirror on your vanity where old pictures of you and your friends were taped up with magazine clippings of interviews and their two albums on record were displayed on a floating shelf that was hung above.  You hadn't cut them out of your life completely.  You couldn't.  You wouldn't.  Besides their parents, you were probably their biggest fan.  You hadn't bothered to try and see them in concert when they came to Detroit simply because you knew it would break you, but you had spent hours watching their live performances on YouTube and you definitely didn't miss their appearance on SNL.

You couldn't be more proud of them for achieving their dream and above all else, you still loved them all with every beat of your heart. Deep down, you knew that if you ran into them somewhere while they were visiting, you wouldn't run away and try to hide. In fact, you wouldn't be able to believe your eyes. You'd probably just stand there like a deer caught in the headlights and if you knew anything about them, Sam especially, they would laugh at your reaction. That would have been before, though. You had no idea who they were anymore just like they had no idea who you were. All of you had grown so much in the last three years. Did they still find the time to go hiking? Did they know that you spent all of your free time at home? Did they have bonfires and screw around and act like a group full of monkeys still? Were they aware that you listened to all of their favorite songs when you missed them? Of course they didn't. There was no way for them to know. Ronnie didn't even know and she was your only connection to them these days.

Their song "Always There" started playing after the last song finished. You smiled to yourself as it was one of your personal favorites. Beyond the lyrics, the music really spoke to you. Sam's bass really shined through and you felt like it somehow showcased the men you knew growing up. It was oddly reminiscent of the camping trips you would take up North when you were younger. The tune was so carefree and it felt like you were floating in a breeze whenever you heard it. You could feel the smile on your face as you looked down at your phone screen and listened to Josh's voicemail one last time.

***

Three days later, you were once again closing the shop down. You bid your farewell to Gabe and locked the front door before you made your way to your car. The sun was slowly beginning its descent as the evening air was the warmest of the season thus far. You would have taken a moment to relish in the comfortable breeze, but your stomach was in the tightest of knots. Ronnie had told you that her family were all going to the cabin for the first few days the guys were home. Danny's parents were going to be there as well as Karen and Kelly. It was the whole group. She had said there was no pressure for you to be there and initially you hadn't planned on going at all. When she first told you, all you had wanted to do was spent yet another evening at home in your own company listening to whatever records piqued your interest.

However, Ronnie was right. You needed to rip the bandaid off. There was no use in putting off the inevitable. You hadn't responded to either guys in the last few days but it wasn't necessarily because you couldn't bring yourself to, you just didn't know what to say. You missed the boys greatly, especially after hearing Josh's voice. The flutter in your stomach still erupted when you thought of him and you were surprisingly quite excited to see him. That was how you ended up biting the bullet and stuffing a duffel bag into your backseat.

The drive seemed short as you pulled the steering wheel left and turned onto the familiar winding dirt road that lead up to the cabin. You were all but bouncing in your seat with anticipation as the setting sun glowed orange along the horizon. The air blowing in through your open windows smelled thick with wood smoke, the tell-tale sign that they had already gotten a bonfire going. Budding trees lined each side of the road as you drove and cleared to reveal rolling hills plush with new growth. It felt like home to you.

When you arrived, you pulled up behind Ronnie's car and turned the ignition. The cabin was the only structure against the vast field, all except for the trees on the other side of the river bed that sat on the edge of the property. The sky behind the wooden home was darkening and spotted with the twinkling of early stars while the view towards the river was filled with bright hues of orange and pink. The sound of frogs and crickets filled the air and in the distance, you could hear joyous laughter as the people gathered enjoyed one another's company.

As you hitched your bag over your shoulder, you took a deep breath and tugged the sleeve of your old denim jacket down over your palm. It was now or never. The nerves you were feeling weren't from the encounter that was about to transpire, but rather the reactions you were going to receive. You hadn't mentioned to Ronnie what your final decision was. All she knew was that there was a possibility.

You made your way into the house that was decorated in storybook cabin decor. There were green plaid curtains hanging above the windows and most all of the well-loved furniture was made from sturdy pine. Karen, you assumed, had set out new candles to burn however they were unlit. The fireplace was burning bright with a new flame that reflected licking shadows of the solid oak table that sat in the corner onto the wall behind it. It smelled musty, but not in the way that made you turn your nose up. The scent was inviting as if it were sentient and waiting for another round of precious memories to take it away and fill the four walls of the home.

Through the screen door, you could see onto the balcony outside. The backs of Karen, Kelly, Dan, and Lori peering over the railing to the sight below where the fire pit was. They were talking animatedly to each other and Dan clasped his hand around Kelly's shoulder in laughter. Ronnie's shrill scream floated up into the kitchen followed by Sam and Josh's loud laughter. You could hear Danny say something, although you weren't sure exactly what it was. You heart felt warm and despite the absence of these people you grew up with, it all felt normal.

You tossed your bag on the sofa and made your way out onto the patio. Karen saw you first and immediately wrapped you in a warm embrace. You could feel her wide grin pressed against your cheek as she squeezed you tightly.

"Y/N!" She exclaimed, but not loud enough for the guys below to hear over the music that played and the crackle of the fire. "We didn't know you were coming!"
"Me either," you giggled as she pulled away. "It was kind of a last minute decision." Kelly hugged you next.
"It's good to see you, kid."

You greeted Danny's parents as well and chatted with the four of them for a few minutes before making your way down the stairs to the scene below. Ronnie saw you first. Jake had just set her down after doing god knows what to freak her out. Her face lit up like she was seeing fireworks for the first time, yet she didn't say anything. She simply punched her older brother in the arm and plopped down in the grass. Sam saw you next and before you knew it, you were being squished against his warm chest. Instinctually, you wrapped your arms around his middle and relished in the feeling of total bliss. It had been so long, you forgot just how much you loved his hugs.

"What the hell?!" He shouted loudly enough that his voice echoed in the distance.
"Surprise Sammy," you spoke into his neck. He lifted you up and spun you around once before your feet met the ground again. His hair tickled your cheek with the motion.
Sam held you at arm's length as he searched your face. "God, I missed you and I'm so sorry about everything and not reaching out and not trying to stop you and," you cut him off by pulling him in for another hug.
"I forgive you," you grinned as you held on tightly to your best friend.

Over Sam's shoulder, you locked eyes with Josh. He was in the middle of a conversation with Danny, but looked as if he had seen a ghost. He was standing there in a white t-shirt and khaki shorts, barefoot. His hair had grown out a bit and was covering his ears now and he had apparently decided to forgo shaving because he had what was probably the most adorable goatee you had ever seen. He didn't have a baby face anymore and his soft features were replaced with a sharp jawline and prominent cheekbones. He had certainly grown up a bit more physically. The muscles in his arms were enhanced by the titian glow of the bonfire and his skin was sun kissed, most likely from the Tennessee weather. He had a beer bottle tightly grasped in his hand and as soon as Sam let go of you, you made your way around the pit over to him. Danny removed himself from Josh's proximity and rested his hand on your shoulder briefly as he passed.

"It's good to see you," his soft voice sounded. You replied in kind and stepped in front of Josh.
"Hey you," you spoke as the butterflies in your stomach once again threatened to make you puke.

His only response was to toss the bottle into the fire and pull you in for what was probably the most intoxicating embrace you had ever experienced all in the same moment. The only thing you could do was rest your hands on his sides as his strong arms were pinning yours down against your body, but you didn't care. It was all you needed to know that everything was going to be ok and everything that was and had been was no more. This was a fresh slate for you and all the weight you had felt on the drive over was lifted. You were welcomed and cherished by these people and if the simplicity of Josh's actions said anything at all, he cared for you more than anyone else standing there.