My angel, how are you looking at me now…

I cling to your cool temple with my hot cheek, I stroke your back with my palms. And I will lie if I say I don't want to get you out of your clothes as soon as possible. But how... if I don't even know how to let you out of my arms?

Yes, you have allowed me what I desire but I will never start so thoughtlessly plucking the petals from you, my innocent flower, my immaculate rose.

"Gulf, visit the restroom, please, and then I'll make us a bath, and we'll take it together." I say without embarrassment. After all, we've had enough of one extremely shy - you - for tonight. "I'm sorry, but I still need to ask: is your tummy empty?"

You blush from your cheekbones to ears, but nod.

"All right. But we had tea recently, so, please, do what I've asked. And don't be confused, Gulf. Please, trust me."

When the toilet is finished, I take two large soft towels for us and, grabbing your sweaty hand, lead you to the bathroom. But halfway through, you stop.

"Gulf, if you're not sure, we won't do anything. You don't have to hurry if you're not ready. It won't change my attitude towards you."

"I won't have that much courage another time."

I kiss the top of your head with affection, but you hand me a new note.

"You want me there, don't you? I thought it would happen in your bedroom. I'm sorry if I'm writing something stupid."

I'm on the verge. My little boy is once again shy about calling a spade a spade.

"What are you talking about, baby?" I'm pulling you back to me. "We can get used to each other faster there... without clothes, I mean. And it'll be a little easier for me to relax you. Do you know what I mean?"

A nod follows.

"Then, leave your notebook here, so as not to get it wet," I kiss you in the crease between the frowning brows, "in the bathroom there will be no time to talk."

I take my watch off my wrist and put it on the table in the living room. You wait patiently.

In the bathroom, the problems do not end: of course, you're too shy to undress in front of me.

Here I have a spacious place to turn around, so I offer you in the same calm voice.

"There's plenty of water and foam. You can put off your clothes, I'll turn away, so as not to embarrass you. As soon as you feel 'safe', let me know, okay?"

I wait for a nod of agreement, but you come closer and take both of my hands at once, and then lower them to your sides, and slightly, along with the T-shirt.

"Gulf... do you want me to help you?"

"Yes," your lips mouth it.

My brave, my incredibly beautiful boy. Do you know what power you have over my heart and mind?

Now the words seem very unnecessary. I kiss your lips, and my hands slowly begin to undress you. As soon as the panties are on the floor, I immediately, trying not to cling to your perfection, hug you tightly. Your hands gently wrap around my neck, and your face rests on my shoulder. I caress your forehead and temples, stroking your silky hair.

"Come on, step into the water, or you'll get cold, I'll be right there."

I try to pull away from you, but it's like you're clinging to me.

"Don't worry, my sweet boy, everything will be okay, just trust your Mew."

You try to smile and take a deep breath, then quickly pull away and almost dive into the brimming tub. Bubbles of foam sizzle and pop on the floor, carrying the scent of mango all over the room.

Undressing as calmly as possible, I join in. At first, you still find it hard to get rid of fear, no matter how desperately brave you show yourself. It is not difficult for me to guess, my angel, what is happening now behind this slightly hunted look.

"Come to me."

Hesitantly, but you move closer.

"Baby," I cover you with my hands, pressing you to my chest. "Can we sit here while the water's still hot?" by the movement of the nose on my neck, I understand that you do not mind, and I stroke your shoulders, back, slide my palms lower. You immediately lift your chin at me.

To be honest, I'm not sure that with your "yes-no-I don't know-I'm afraid" attitude, something will make out. But I'll do my best.

"I'm not going to do anything yet. I'll just help you relax."

You're just staring at me.

You don't believe me... Gulf, Gulf… When did I ever allow myself to do something bad? For all these months, eh?

"All right, Gulf. It's probably my fault.… Let's just stay here, wash off the foam, and I'll put you to bed in your room, okay?"

That's what I was afraid of more than anything else. That's what my heart cannot bear: your tears.

"My dear, my precious boy... what's up, eh?" I would shower you with the sweetest words in the world if you would stop shaking and crying. No sound. It's like all your pain is going down the inner side of your eyelids.

You look up at me with red eyes, and your lips begin to close and open. Slowly and with pauses. I carefully remove the ends of your hair from your cheeks and mouth, which are stuck together with foam, and I can make out by the movement of your mouth:

You don't want me...

I almost hit my head on the tile! From laughter. Gulf!..

Spitting on the unpredictable reaction, I grab your hand and take it under the water. There I cover with it the tip of my cock sticking out almost parallel to my stomach.

"Okay, so I don't want you, do I?"

First you stare at me, numb, and then - that's for sure unpredictable! - you squeeze your fingers around my cock, and your lips literally sting my mouth with such a familiar "hungry" kiss.

What are you doing to me…

"Gulf, don't squeeze me too hard there... just up and down in a circle, that's enough, okay?"

You nod without looking at me. We kiss in a hot, wet, and such a sweet manner that my cheekbones ache and my groin aches. And the tips of the fingers and toes seem to spark with a crazy stream of discharges. Your movements on my cock are getting more intense, even if you can't do everything right yet. But this inexperience is making me crazy with desire. I just lose my mind, thinking that I am the first one you have in every sense ... Gulf. Tell me... How do I get through this night? How can I make sure that you'll always remember me as your first?.. And how can I be your only one forever?

I'm about to get to the point, but I plan to delay this moment as much as possible, so I cover your hand with mine and pull it out of the water, and you pull away in frustration.

"Not all at once, little one. Let me take care of you now?"

You shrug and pout a little. Offended. Oh, Gulf…

Then I gently grab you under the ass cheeks and move you closer to me.

"Get up and hold on to me, Gulf.

Done.

I turn my head and look for the right bottle on the shelf. Aha. Here it is. I unscrew the lid and the smell of white grapefruit instantly fills the entire space. I take a shower gel, squeeze it on my hand and add a few drops of oil to it. Then I spread the mixture between my fingers.

"Lift your back out of the water a little higher. And don't worry, I'll just touch it with my finger, okay?"

You ears blush again, but you do everything without question. Not without pleasure, I take a moment to admire a pleasant shape and size of the penis, behind which gentle balls are hidden. The lower part of your stomach is covered with curls of wet black hair, and I want to run my hand through it... but later. Right now, I need to focus on your comfort. I slide both palms along your thighs, gently pull one ass cheek and, carefully opening the tightly compressed rose, I penetrate between its petals with a well-oiled index finger. You just grunt softly.

"Just a little patience, Gulf. I won't go deep. If it really hurts, just push on my shoulder, okay? So I know I have to stop."

You show it with your eyes: got it.

You're clean inside, but very tight. I set myself up for a long preparation.

I'm lost in my own thoughts again, and I seem to forget to be careful for a second, so you literally dig into my shoulder, and a grimace of pain hits your beautiful face.

"I'll be careful, Gulf, I'm sorry."

You relax, nuzzle your nose into my shoulder, and breathe faster. I carefully remove my finger and take my cock in my hand. Your eyes instantly widen in fear:

"No, no, Gulf. I will not insert it, just slide the tip between your cheeks. Don't be afraid."

And you amaze me again. You take hold of your elastic cheeks with your palms and, raising yourself even more, spread them shyly closing your eyelids.

Is there any chance that I won't completely lose my mind tonight, my angel?

I don't even have enough time of a couple of minutes: the feeling of such openness is too sharp.

"Gulf, I'm going to wash us okay? The water is almost cold."

You open your eyes. Holding on to my shoulders, you gently kiss the corner of my lips.

And I ... I want to burst into tears from the fact that I have been searching for the meaning of my empty life for forty-three years, and now it is based on the tip of your nose and the drops of tears on your eyelashes.

I dry you off and wrap you in a towel. And if it weren't for your "firm" intentions and the fear that "Mew doesn't want you", as well as my cock that is about to crack through my veins from excitement, I would have picked you up and carried you to the bed, where I would have pull my restless sparrow to me and just fell asleep, knowing that you are next to me, sniffing at my side.

I pick you up anyway, and in a minute you're actually in my bed. We're both there now. I'm just rocking you gently in my arms for now.

"You are my life, Gulf." I want to tell you so much to warm your little heart, broken by the pain and challenges that have befallen it, I want you really believe me and not be afraid of our first night.

Your fingers touch my cheek, your face is half hidden in the pillow, but you smile so that I understand: you believe me.

"Lie on your tummy, please."

I wish I could do it while looking into your eyes, but I know that for the first time, this position is the most painful.

"And put the butt higher… That's right, that's right, Gulf."

I can see how you're trying to please me. Closing your eyes from shame, you hide your embarrassment in the pillow.

I find one condom and an almost full tube of lube lying in the bed-side table.

I quickly cope with the whole thing, not sparing the lube; I kiss you from the neck to the buttocks, one hand caressing your tummy, touching your dick, lightly massaging it, causing your body to start burning. With the fingers of my other hand, one at a time, I penetrate the hole I've smeared twice today. Then I try to enter with two.

You can't stand the last penetration and you're twitching.

"My boy, I know it hurts," I pull out my finger. "But there's no other way."

You nod and hide your face again.

"Gulf, I'm finding it harder and harder to control myself. Please don't squeeze your hole."

Of course, I have to squeeze my cock just so that it does not come now. I know I can't stretch you out forever.

"Gulf," I say, pulling my fingers out. "Get on your knees now... and put them away from each other."

Clumsily, on shaky legs, you take the right position, leaning on your hands and breathing raggedly.

"And bend in the back... yes, like this," I slightly press on your lower back. "I won't go too deep. I'll put it in on half of the tip."

I lubricate your hole once more, rub the lube over the condom, and stroke your balls.

"My boy..." I whisper entering you.

In diameter, my penis is several times larger than your hole. As soon as I hold my breath and move forward, tears rain down from your eyes, flooding the pillow.

And what should I do? Forcibly taking you? No. That's not going to happen.

"My little one..." holding you with my hands I bend down to your neck and begin to kiss it, whispering all sorts of endearments.

It seems to work: you're relaxing again.

I push forward, so that the tip is completely hidden in the tight hole. I feel uncomfortable, because my cock is clamped.

"Gulf, we'll have to wait a little longer."

You move your head, but I understand everything without words. No, Gulf. It won't work that way. Maybe I used to be a lousy lover when I was young, maybe I made others suffer pain and their names I don't remember now... but you're not them. I may still not have the courage to tell you this in words, but I love you, Gulf. Maybe not the way they write in the statuses on Facebook… But I love you to the point of absolute caring, putting my ego aside for the first time in my life. Because you are the beginning and the end of everything. Because when everything goes to hell, you make me chamomile tea, you touch my cheek, you snuggle up to me, you smile with the wild tenderness of your eyes, and I understand: that's what it's worth living for. And everything else is nothing. Trifles. Little things.

Gulf, you're the one I want to be with forever and ever after.

"That's it, my angel... I can't torment you anymore," I take out my tensed cock.

You just land down the bed and, burying your face in the pillow, start shaking with silent sobs.

"My little one," I hug you from the back. "Calm down... well, the first time is the first time. Do you think that will make you less important to me?"

You can't calm down continuing to shake.

"I have an idea."

I knew you'd react. Yes, sometimes I have to use the trick. But it's for your sake, my angel.

You lift up your tearful face from the pillow and immediately get a kiss from me on the red cheeks, the tip of the nose and my favorite lips.

"Get on the side now, with your back to me."

You do it without any objections.

"Great," without removing the condom, I slide my cock parallel to the perineum. "Gulf, lift your leg ... so ... don't be afraid, little one," I'm patting your tummy. "I won't put it in again. Just squeeze my cock between your thighs."

At first, we just lie still. I run my hands over the smooth lines of your body. From all the troubles, your dick has fallen off. I take it in my hand and start jerking it off.

You understand everything. Plucking up the courage, you press your butt against my prickly pubis and begin to rub, which makes me breathe with a special frequency. Your clenching thighs give me the necessary friction.

"Gulf... Gulf ..." I whisper, almost unconsciously. "It's so good to be with you, my boy…"

It only takes me a few moments to set your cock on. You're already pushing into my hand without hesitation. And I'm about to come into the condom. I could have taken it off, but with all the circumstances, you don't need to see how you affect me today.

You come first. In quick, hot streams, straight into my palm. And I follow you, filling the condom to the limit.

Of course, you are not used to the fact that the partner needs a little time to recharge. Therefore, having recovered from the first orgasm, you listen incredulously to my weak breathing.

After all those sweet convulsions, the first thing I do is hug you. I kiss you gently and for a long time. Then I get up and go to throw out the condom and take a wet towel to wipe us off — I just don't have the energy to go to the bathroom. Neither physical nor mental.

It's far past midnight. You sleep peacefully on my chest. And I can't sleep, knowing that despite everything, this is the best night in my life. And so close to me there's the best boy in the world. I can't resist stroking your hair. Of course, you have a crystal dream. Immediately you raise your head and blink your swollen eyelids frequently.

"Sleep, sleep," I put you back on my chest, covering you with a blanket and kissing you on the forehead. And I finally close my eyes. And I can feel your lips writing "I love you" on my chest. But, apparently, I relate it to a fog in my head, a dream and ... I do not answer.

I am such a fool.

And in the morning I don't find you: neither in my bed, nor in my house. And for some reason I can't find my expensive watch…