I arrived at the dance and grinned. Okay, I admit, we did a pretty good job of setting up. The place looked amazing. Large snowflakes and starts hung gently from the ceiling, the floor was covered in fake snow and glitter, and there were two large ice white thrones on the stage with two pretty good looking ice crowns for the king and queen.

Which I thought was pretty stupid but you know, I don’t plan to win so it’s all ok.

“So Zac.” I smirked “Sorry about seeing me and Tristan at it before, it must have been so awkward.”

He glared at me “no problem” he said through gritted teeth. I bit my tongue to stop me laughing “I’m sure you had a reason.”

“Oh no, he just likes to remind me… well, how good he is.” I winked and headed to the punch table and grabbed a glass and took a big drink. Why has no-one spiked it yet? Damn hormonal teenagers, they always forget to spike the damn punch.

I took the bottle of vodka I hid in my purse before and poured it all in and stirred it. If I had to go through this horrible piece of crap with an obnoxious asshole as my date, I was at least getting so drunk I can hardly stay up straight. Satisfied with the taste, I grabbed another two glasses. I downed one and walked back over to Zac who was frowning.

“Did you just spike the punchbowl? Very original Mia.” He rolled his eyes, I shrugged them smiled sweetly.

“If I have to put up with you for the night then I might as well get drunk since it’ll stop me killing myself.” He growled at me and I laughed. “Oh relax Zaccy boy, it was a joke.” I took another gulp “I think.” I murmured.

“Actually no it’s good if you get drunk…” He drifted off smirking. I shook my finger and tutted then pointed to my family who were watching us with amused faces. I liked amusing people; I should be a professional comedian or something.

“Fraid you’re not getting laid by me tonight because of three reasons.” I put my glass on the table and held up one finger “number one, I’m married.” I raised my middle finger “number two, like my family would let me walk out with you on my own absolutely wasted, and number three” I smiled “I wouldn’t sleep with you if my life depended on it. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go and dance.”

“Come back.” He demanded. I laughed and walked away. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back into him. “How are you doing this?!”

“Doing what?”

“You know what!”

“Oh yeah! Completely forgot, silly me!” I hit my head with my palm “See my sister over there? Bella? Yeah well, she’s a shield and right now she’s projecting it out across everyone in the room so there is no way in hell you’re getting in anyone’s mind.”

“You bitch.” He growled and raised his fist, ready to hit me. I caught it and pushed him backwards. Emmet and Edward walked over and stood behind him.

“Don’t touch Mia.” They threatened quietly “I mean it.” Emmet whispered “I don’t care if you’re that slut’s newborn, I will rip your head off before you had the chance to blink.”

“Like you would.” Zac snorted. Emmet pushed him against the table. I grabbed his arm to pull him away but he shrugged it off. Zac actually looked scared as Emmet held his throat.

“Don’t tempt me you cocky little shit, I’ve had enough of you walking all over my sister and her husband. If you touch her or threaten her one more time I will end you and I will gladly face the consequences. You’re getting weak anyway, I’m sure Maria will get rid of you soon.” Emmet snarled loudly, and then threw Zac away from me. “Mia, go dance Nicki and her cheerleading squad, me and Edward have him.”

I grinned and hugged him “If you kill him and I’m not there, you better record it.”

He laughed and nodded. I headed to the dance floor where Nicki was dancing very sexually to another guy, if they weren’t wearing clothes, they’d be full on banging on the dance floor. I laughed as she grinned at me. She took my hand and we began to dance.

“TONIGHT WE’RE DRINKING FROM THE BOTTLE!” we sang loudly to the music. I shook my head side to side grinning when I saw Bella at the corner of my eye; she was stood on her own. I frowned and walked over to her, grabbing her hand.

“Mia, there is no way I am dancing. I don’t dance!”

“Well, tonight you are now let’s go!” I dragged her across the floor, her protesting along the way.

“Come on don’t make me do this.” She groaned.

“You forget I have Alice as a sister, I don’t take no for an answer.” I grinned.  She rolled her eyes and nodded agreeing with me. We began to jump up and down to music and sway about and I know she was enjoying it despite how much she shook her head.

“I HAVE TO PEE.” I yelled over the loud music.

“CHARMING.” She laughed.

“SORRY, I HAVE TO EMPY MY BLADDER WHICH IS FULL OF URINE SO IF YOU WILL PLEASE EXCUSE ME.”

I squeezed through the tightly packed bodies that were as close together as tuna in a tin. I practically sprinted to the toilet when I got out of the dance floor. I opened the door and couldn’t quite believe the sight in front of me. I even took a picture on my iPhone which seemed to get the guys attention.

Jolie and Zac were full on doing it in the toilets.

Classy girl right there Jolie.

“GET OUT!” She shrieked loudly, she was sat on top of the sink, her bright orange dress rolled up all the way up to her hips, her underwear on the floor, her hands were holding onto Zac’s tie for dear life, Zac’s pants were on the floor, his shirt unbuttoned, continuing to thrust into her.

“SERIOUSLY IN THE BATHROOM?” I took a couple more pictures; almost peeing myself I was laughing so much “JOLIE I HAVE A LEFT OVER DRINK IF YOU WANT THAT AS WELL?” I was wiping tears from my eyes; this could not be more perfect.

“MIA GET THE HELL OUT.” She screeched.  

“No, please carry on. I just have to pee.” I went into the cubicle, and luckily just sat on the toilet before I peed because that would have been seriously embarrassing, well not as embarrassing as walking in on Jolie currently having sex with a vampire less than a metre outside of the cubicle.

Wait, are they still going?

“Jeez Zac, how long does it take you?” I laughed.

“MIA!” Jolie screeched. I flushed, opened the cubicle doors and washed my hands and took another picture whilst I could. This was priceless “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Currently planning the caption for this photo to go on Facebook, I’m thinking “Classy Cheerleader Caught in Cubicle.”

I ran out before she protested and back into the hall where I bumped into Edward who was frowning at me since all my mascara had ran down my cheeks where I was laughing so much.

“What happened?”

“I just caught Zac and Jolie doing it in the girl’s toilets and I got some pretty impressive shots.”

“Seriously?” He said disgusted “That’s just wrong.”

“I know, THEY NASTY.” I said in a Raven Baxter voice. Man, I missed that show. “Can we go now? As much fun as this was, I’m missing How I Met Your Mother and I miss my Barney Stinson.”

“Yeah, I’ll grab my car, go and find Bella and Emmet.” I nodded and headed off through the hall, Bella and Emmet were with Rose who all bust out laughing when I told them about the discovery I had found on my adventure to go and pee. We headed out to the car park when I had an idea. I headed to the tech guys at the back of the hall and asked them to do something with my phone.

In 5 minutes, the pictures of Jolie and Zac were on the slideshow on the big screen in the gym and everyone was laughing. Jolie went bright red and ran off, Zac just smirked like the arrogant ass he is. Well, it’s still going on Facebook.

I’m sure Mark Zuckerberg enjoys porn too; he’s still a guy after all.

---

I headed straight to my room when we got home where Tristan was waiting for me. I pounced in his arms and kissed him gently.

“How was the dance?”

“You will not believe the pictures I took.” I laughed showing him. He grimaced.

“Seriously, the toilets? She wasn’t classy enough for the car?” That only made me laugh even more. “Wow, I bet she’s super happy with you.”

“She’s my biggest fan. Especially after I put them on the slideshow for everyone to see and I put them on Facebook on the way home. I think she’ll want my autograph to be honest” I shrugged pulling sweats and Tristan’s shirt out of our wardrobe and changed. The rest of the night we stayed in bed and I eventually fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up from shouting coming from downstairs. I reached my hand out for Tristan but there was nothing there, I opened one eye and looked around the room, he was gone. My stomach rumbled loudly, it sounded like a T-Rex having an orgasm.

I was such a lady sometimes.

I tied my hair into a braid and headed downstairs in hunt for food, preferably bacon. Bacon is happiness, no matter what. I headed into the kitchen where I could see Carlisle and Esme frowning at Emmet.

“Hey guys, where’s Tristan?”

“Hunting with Jasper, they’ll be back soon. Want me to make you some breakfast?” Esme smiled warmly. I shook my head.

“No, it’s ok. I’ll just make myself some cereal and become a serial killer.” I grinned; she laughed and shook her head “what was the shouting about?”

“Rose and Emmet had an argument, don’t worry about it.” Carlisle spoke gently frowning sternly at Emmet “he’s going to go talk to her now aren’t you?”

“Whatever.” He stormed off.

“Emmet” Carlisle let out a sigh then checked his watch “I have to go to work or I’ll be late.” He kissed Esme’s head gently and headed out quickly.

“Well…” I said “where’s Nessie?”

“Jordan and Jake took her to get your birthday present.”

I groaned remembering my birthday was in 2 days, a week before Christmas. I’ve always hated celebrating my birthday; I just didn’t see the point since I didn’t age at all. Esme laughed and headed out the room. Why are they doing this to me?! They know I hate my birthday. I bet Alice put them up to this.

“ALICE.” I yelled.

“YOU’RE HAVING A PARTY I’VE INVITED EVERYONE IS FANCY DRESS.”

“WHY MUST YOU DO THIS?”

“BECAUSE I’M YOUR SISTER” she laughed. I growled loudly at her. If we’re not getting drunk then yes, I will not be a happy birthday bunny.

----

“Happy Birthday Baby” Tristan murmured in my ear. I groaned and held the pillow over my head. He laughed and pulled it away then kissed me gently. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” I smiled, wrapping my arms around my neck pulling him closer. “I’m happy if this is my present?”

“Nope” he kissed my nose and I groaned “chill out, I didn’t spend much. Turn around and lift your hair up.” I rolled my eyes and did it. A cold metal thing rested on my chest and I let my hair down and looked at it. It was a beautiful silver locket with swirly flowers and tiny sapphire gems as the middle of the flower.

I opened it and it was the picture of me and him kissing on our wedding day with “forever and a day” inscribed on the other side. I grinned and kissed him.

“This is beautiful, I love it! Thank you so much!”

“Wait, that’s only part of your present. Close your eyes and hold your hands out.”

“Tristan! I told you not to spend much, if anything at all!”

“That’s the beauty, I didn’t.” he grinned “now close your eyes!” I rolled my eyes and did what he said. A book like shape landed in my hand and it was quite heavy. I opened my eyes to see a scrap book placed in my hands. I flicked through the pages and it was covered in pages of me and him, Renesmee, Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmet, Esme, Carlisle, Jordan and Jake. It was a huge memory book. My eyes began to well up; he had gone through so much effort to make this for me.

“Thank you.” I whispered. “I absolutely love it. They’re both perfect, thank you so much.” I kissed him, pulling his face to mine. I felt him smile against my lips and his cool arms wrapped around my waist, rolling me over until I was lying on his chest.

“You’re welcome. You hungry?” I nodded and we headed downstairs to the kitchen, everyone was there grinning holding at least one present. I groaned loudly.

“Never mind, I’m not hungry.” I went to head back to bed but Tristan pushed me to the crowd of my stupid family who knew I hated my birthday. There was a huge chocolate cake which I was eyeing up…. It did look pretty good, and I love chocolate cake. “Okay, as long as I can have cake first I’m staying.” They all laughed. I went over to the 3 layered chocolate cake and cut half of the top layer off with white chocolate sprinkled all over the chocolate fudge icing, it looked amazing. I quickly put it in a bowl and headed over to the couch with a spoon.

I got comfy and took a big bite and groaned. “Whoever made this is my new best friend.”

“You’re welcome honey.” Esme kissed my hair “Happy birthday.” I smiled.

“HEY!” I yelled, Jake and Jordan turned around guiltily with chocolate all around their mouth.

“This is not what it looks like.” Jake said.

“Well it looks like you’re eating my cake.” I frowned.

“Come on, you cannot eat this all by yourself.” Jordan rolled his eyes and I raised my eyebrow, challenging him.

“Are you kidding me?” Jasper laughed “I remember one time when Alice and I re-did our vows and she ate the entire 6 layer wedding cake to her.”

I shrugged “Well you guys weren’t going to eat it and waste not, want not.”

“How are you not fat?!” Jordan asked cutting of another piece and handing it to Renesmee. I looked up at Tristan and he winked at me, I grinned and shrugged again taking another bite.

“Enough of cake talk! Presents!” Alice chirped and practically threw hers at me. I rolled my eyes and opened them then grinned. The entire FRIENDS collection. “I know how much you loved the show.”

“It’s amazing! Thank you Alice!” I hugged her tightly. “I love it.”

“I know you do, I saw it.” I rolled my eyes and Bella and Edward passed me an envelope.

“That’s of me and Edward since Renesmee wanted to get her own for you.” She smiled, I hugged them both then opened it and grinned and laughed loudly remembering.

“Bon Jovi tickets? Do you remember the time back in 96?” I laughed, Edward grimaced then nodded. Bella looked at me raising her eyebrows “basically, I dared Edward to run through Times Square completely naked and he did and” I had to stop I was laughing so much “We ran into them, Bon Jovi and Edward asked for his autograph and they signed his butt.”

Everyone was laughing at the memory as Edward was glaring at us all, Bella was creasing over she was laughing so much.

“Oh my god that is the best story I’ve heard so far off this family.” Jake said wiping his eyes. “They signed your butt?!”

“Can we get back to present giving now?” Edward said through gritted teeth after we had all calmed down. I sighed and sat back on the couch, Tristan next to me and Renesmee on my lap. She handed me a card which she drew herself which is actually amazing. It was me, her and the wolves running in the forest with “Happy Birthday Mia!” written on the top.

“Holy crap Nessie, this is amazing!”

“Open it!” I did and two threaded black bracelets fell out of it. It had little silver gems on it like a heart, a wolf, a star, a half crescent moon, a full moon, a tiny willow tree and a leaf. I quickly put it on and examined it. “I made the bracelets but I had to buy the charms” I kissed her cheek and hugged her.

“I love them! They’re beautiful!” I picked the second one up and began to put it on when she stopped me.

“No! You put it on the person who means the most to you.” As she said that, Bella, Edward and Jake raised their wrists smirking with completely different bracelets on. I nodded and turned to Tristan who immediately held his hand out and I fastened it.

“Thank you Renesmee.” I smiled.

“There should be three.” She frowned “One for you, Tristan and Jordan. JAKE WHERES THE OTHER?!” She yelled, I laughed loudly at the little 5 year old girls temper tantrum.

“Nessie chill, we’ll find it.” He grinned helping her look across the floor.

“JAKE IT’S GONE!” she screeched looking upset. I rolled my eyes and walked over to her.

“Check Jordan’s wrist honey.” She quickly looked over to see him smirking. She frowned and hit him repeatedly until Edward pulled her off him laughing.

“HEY!” He yelled at her rubbing his arm.

“Don’t do that!” She frowned at him “I thought I had lost it.”

“Sorry Ness.” He grinned. I rolled my eyes and opened Emmets and Rose’s which was by the far the biggest. It was in fact a huge stereo system, but the box was empty. Emmet smirked.

“Set it up 5 minutes ago.” I laughed and hugged them both tightly. “But if I hear any of that Bieber crap then it’s getting smashed up understood?”

I looked horrified “Emmet I am offended….. Like I’d even let that stuff in my room.”

The doorbell rung and Carlisle went to answer it whilst I opened Jakes present…. Which was the entire collection of Supernatural.

DESTIEL FOREVER.

I grinned and hugged him tightly. “Thank you Jacob!”

“You’re welcome hermit.”

“Hermit?”

“That’s what I’m going to start calling you now, since you have all 10 seasons of Friends and now all 7 seasons of supernatural, you won’t leave your bed.” He grinned and I laughed agreeing. Don’t judge me okay.

“Not interrupting anything am I?” A familiar annoying voice came into the room; I rolled my eyes and turned around to see Maria and Zac standing there smiling.

“Yeah actually, my birthday. Leave” I said and turned back around.

“Someone’s feisty this morning.”

“Oh just go away.”

“Don’t think I will.” Zac smirked, I turned around and got ready to lunge, half human or not I’ll still kick his stupid arrogant ass.

“What do you want?” Jordan growled.

“Came to wish the young half-blood a happy birthday” Maria smiled “Happy birthday Mia.”

“It was happy until you two came.”

“I get the feeling we’re not wanted here Maria.” Zac grinned at her.

“Cause you’re not.”

“Enough” Jaspers voice rang through the air. “Maria, what do you want?”

“I need a couple more newborns, they keep fighting and since Carlisle is by far the most controlled here, I figured I’d come and ask politely.”

“No.” Carlisle immediately replied “I won’t damn anyone else to this lifestyle.”

“Fine” Maria shrugged then began to walk out “But if people start dying because I can’t control myself, you only have yourself to blame.” She threw a box in my hand “Oh and I do mean it, happy birthday Mia.”

“Thanks. Bitch.” I muttered as she sauntered out, her little pathetic puppy following her. I opened the box and frowned in disgust. A blood bag in ice. “Really? Gross.” I headed to fireplace and threw the box in.

“Let’s not let her ruin today.” Esme smiled trying to lighten up the mood “Come on Mia, you still have Jordan’s and ours left to open.”  I nodded then went over to the stereo and put the radio on in the background, music always got rid of awkward silences.

Esme and Carlisle gave me money to go shopping and Jordan said I get mine later at the party.

“Please say its alcohol.”

“Part of it.” He winked “but don’t worry my dear, I have supplied everyone with enough.”

I sighed in relief. “Thank god, I thought I was going to have to get it out of my stash.”

“You have a stash?” Tristan asked me amused. I nodded and gave him a “duh” expression.

“Have you met me? I’ll take any opportunity to get