The next few days nothing truly interesting happened, but I watched AmazingPhil's videos every day now. I hadn't cut since I found his channel. He was so happy and hilarious.

His looks were something else. Yes, I knew I was gay, and I doubted he was as well. He didn't even know I exist and I was too much of a wimp to get him to notice me.
*****
It was Saturday and my friend (also my only friend), Pj, and I had made plans to hang out at noon.

I woke up at eleven and turned on the shower. I contemplated eating but remembered mum hadn't gone shopping for the week (she does that on Sundays) so there was probably no food anyway.

I changed into a plain black long sleeve shirt and grey skinny jeans. I straightened my hair and it was 11:45 when I left the house.

Pj and I had arranged to meet at the park, so I slowly walked there as I was early.

I sat on a bench in the park for a few minutes and thought. I wanted to tell Pj about Phil. Maybe I could get advice from him about how to get noticed. At the same time, though, I wanted to keep the beautiful boy to myself. I didn't know if Pj was gay but he could be.

"Dan! Guess what?" I heard Pj say behind me and I turned around to greet him.

"Hey Peej," I said. "What's up?"
He smiled and started talking fast.

"I found a really cute guy on this site called YouTube-"

My heart stopped. If he had found Phil, chances are they were already dating. At least now I knew Pj was gay.

"-and his name is Chris." I heard Pj say and a flood of happiness rushed through my body. "He lives in Manchester." He told me and I decided I should be happy for Pj. He had done nothing wrong.

Pj and I spent the day walking around and buying random crap.

"Oi! Fags!" I whipped my head around and saw a man. An older man- with a child. "I don't want my boy here catching your gayness! Get out!"

My mouth was gaping open. I couldn't speak. Pj did.

"You're funny." He told the man. "Fuck off, will you?" He shook my arm. "Dan. Dude, come on. Let's go." He said quietly and I was pulled back into reality.

"Wimps!" I heard the man call after us.

Crap. Trigger word... Trigger word.

Pj realized what was wrong right away. He sat me down at a table and stared at me.

"Breathe, Dan. It's okay." He whispered.

*****
When I woke up the next morning I decided to eat. It was noon and mum should have gone shopping already.

I threw on a white hoodie and black skinny jeans. I didn't bother to straighten my hair, I doubted I would leave the house today.

When I walked downstairs I saw mum sitting at the breakfast bar with cereal. Mum and I hadn't spoken in a week. Not for any reason, we had just been drifting apart lately. I wanted to keep her close. I sat in the seat next to her and grinned. She laughed.

"Daniel James Howell, you scared the shit out of me!" She hit my arm playfully.

"Language, mum." I smirked and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet. She glared at me and I laughed. I sat back down with my cereal.

Silence fell upon us and I began to think. I should tell my mum about Phil. But.... First I would need to come out. What was there to lose? I knew she wasn't a homophobe, so I decided to go for it.

"Hey mum? I uh.... Need to tell you something." I said slowly.

"You're gay, aren't you? Dan, I need your help when I go shopping for clothes next time. Please?" She said all in one breath and I stared at her.

She pulled me in for a hug. "Honey, I support you no matter what. This is who you were the whole time, so nothing's going to change." She said into my shoulder and I smiled.

*****
When I got to my room I started to watch more of Phil's videos.

I liked and commented on all of his videos and followed his Twitter and Instagram. I found out he lived in Manchester. That was more than an hour away from Berkshire, where I lived.

*****
It was Monday morning. That meant school.

Lucky for me, I wasn't late today. When I left the house I said goodbye to mum and saw Pj walking past my house. I wondered why I didn't see him any other day but I remembered that I was actually on time for once. Pj and I walked together and went our seperate ways when we got to campus.

Today I had French with my favorite teacher, Dr. Brown. He was slightly crazy but he let us use our phones so he was cool.

Halfway through the lesson I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

AmazingPhil started following you.
AmazingPhil liked your photo.

I froze. Was this happening? I clicked the notification and saw that the picture Phil had liked was a selfie. I grinned.

"Dan? I allow phones, but I need you to pay attention. Go to the closet and translate this." Mr. Brown scolded and handed me a piece of paper.

Yay! I'm really liking how this is turning out so yeah. I know Phil didn't live in Manchester originally, it's just helping to form the plot.

Also I added Dr. Brown. I'm proud of myself.

See you later alligators.
-Nora