A brand new start of the day. No new clients, as per usual. A boring new day, if you ask me.

Everyone was currently sat around the meeting table. Last week Moxxie bought a new TV and we're only now using it.

Blitzø was watching a human show called 'My Little Pony', I think it's for children and I don't know if he knows that. But anyways, it was going all smoothly, the ponies started singing and then the commercials began.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Blitzø screamed and banged his fists against the table.

"Calm down, man... It's just a show." I turned to look at him, he glared at me.

"Just a show? Just a show?!"

"Uh yeah. It's a show about friendship and little ponies."

"I can say the same to you. Doctor Who is just a show."

Blitzø put up imaginary quotation marks and rolled his eyes. Doctor Who is a human British sci fi show, filmed in Wales. Stolas is aware of it, it's one of his favorite human shows. He showed it to me a couple weeks ago and ever since I've not been able to watch anything else.

"Yeah well, Doctor Who is about aliens and space and time, unlike My Little Pony!."

"MY LITTLE PO-"

"Alright you two, that's enough!" Millie yelled, moving to stand on her chair. "Both shows are good tv. Okay? No matter what it's about or who it's about. Got it?!"

"Hmph. Whatever."

I looked at Millie from the side, giving her a side eye.

"Don't look at me like that, Y/n!"

"Well, howdy!"

Everyone looked towards the television. A cherub from up above was on the screen.

"I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven!"

"Ugh, someone turn that off." Luna groaned, looking up from her phone.

"Guess you did somethin' foot to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!"

A jingle started playing and when I say I wanted to rip my horns out, I mean it.

Does it make you want to cry?

An Innocent person on the screen gets run over by a speeding train and the words "oh no" appear in a censor cloud.

When your loved one has to die?

A man shots himself in the face and another censor cloud shows up, this time with the word "Oopsie!".

Does it hurt you through and through?

A man then shows up, however, his face is turning blue from lack of oxygen. He has his neck tied to a noose.

When your face is turnin' bluuuuue?
Well, luckily for you...
There's somethin' we can do!
We can help keep them alive,
So you can watch them thrive!

There's now three of those things on screen. They all pose as they sang together.

Cause here at C. H. E... R. U. B!

The rat names Cletus rescues a women from a pack of wild animals. Some other one pushes the other one in front of them, as he holds a plank of wood with a nail in it.

We'll save your honeybun from dying violently!
Cause here at C. H. E... R. U. B!

The sound of a flintlock pistol going off saved me from the insanity of heaven. However, the tv did explode from getting shot...

"Nice one, B!" I heard Millie speak and I turned around to see Blitzø holding the gun.

"Thank Satan for that." I spoke and leaned my head back against the chair.

"Gimme another, Mox." Blitzø told Moxxie as he brought in another tv.

"We got more than one?"

The 666 news channel shows up on the tv screen. I watched as blitzø poured gunpowder into the flintlock.

"Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!" He yelled and Moxxie changed the channel. A demonically dressed Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing eroticlly with prominent, bouncing breasts, holding a pitchfork. Blitzø and Millie looked bored and honestly so was I. "Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep going..."

Moxxie continued to change the channel until Wally Wackford appears on screen dressed in white with a black top hat and holding a cane.

"I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?" Wally whacks his cane on the walls around him. "WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory. Where you make the things and I make the money! Please! I'm very desperate!"

"Bingo!" Blitzø spoke and shot the tv once again.

"Wooo! You're on a roll, sir!" Millie screamed.

"Poor guy." I mumbled. I looked over at Loona and saw that she was sleeping, drool was seeping down her chin. The whole building began to shake and she awakes.

"Guys... Do you feel that?" She asked.

"Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?" Blitzø panicked.

"That's possible?" Moxxie talked.

"I don't think so. Stop feeding Moxxie's brain with your dumb stuff Blitzø." I stood up and moved to stand next to Blitzø, only so I can wack his head, which I did.

"Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!" Millie placed her hands on her husbands chest.

"I'm not panicking, because hellquakes don't happen." Moxxie puts up finger quotes.

Loona picks Moxxie up and begins to shake him.

"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!" The young hellhound yelled and then slaps Moxxie in the face, sending him flying against the wall and slightly dazing him in the process.

Moxxie is then knocked down, once again, by what appears to be a wrecking ball. Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie, crushing him and creating a balloon of dust. As the dust clears, the wrecking ball untangled into multiple robotic tentacles and a supervillain like demon uses two of them to hoist himself into the room through the hole, covering himself with his cape. Loona began to growl as she got down on all fours.

"Do not be afraid!" The mystery man grins and extends his robotic tentacles.

"Hey Mox. Did you get that insurance thing?" I spoke up.

"Who are you, and what do you want?!" Millie asked as she whipped out her battle axe.

"I am Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiish!"

"Oh. So you're not a villain from the Avengers?" I groaned.

"Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing." Loona spoke up speaking facts.

"I am eccentric and must therefore do eccentric SHIT!"

The weird robotic thing does a stupid wavy dance. I watched Blitzø sniff him and then flinch.

"Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?"

"YEEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me HEEEEEERE!"

"Just saying... The front door would've gotten you here fine." Loona tapped her phone.

"Shut up, dear furry!"

Loona growls in anger and then Loopy turns to Blitzø.

"This is the man I'm gonna need you to kiiiil!"

He holds up an old photo of an old bald man in bed. Blitzø takes the photo from him.

"Looks like he's already on his death bed." I spoke and Blitzø hummed in agreement.

"Not even a shit's length of time in hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm blitzø, the "O" is silent."

Loona walked away and Blitzø shook Loopty's hand.

"What o?" Loopty asked.

"Awww, thank you. Now, what's the tea, sis?" Blitzø shakes his hips.

"The TEAAAAA?!"

"Guys, help!" I heard Moxxie's voice from underneath the debris.

"Yeah, why are we killin' this guy? I mean, what did he do to you?"

"LOSING... OX-"

"He was... My business partner! You see, I was not always an old man! My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire! Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intented to stop, or reverse, the aging process. It could've saved all three trillionairs! Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius! But the machine accidentally set FORWARD! By the time we managed to get out... It was too late! At least... For me! Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionair... And get ALL the credit!"

"Yeah, we didn't need the whole story." I narrowed my eyes at the old man.

"Ehhh, that's not really evil." Blitzø spoke.

"It's evil towards, meeee!"

"Everything... Is going... Dark--"

"Now get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless, no good son of a bitch to hell, where he belongs!"

"Eh, y, y, y, you do know, Poopty-"

"Looooooptyyyyy!"

"Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here... Y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever."

"Oh, trust me.... I'm counting on it." Loopty summons an array of weapons from his back on a series of mechanical armatures: a pistol, a rifle, a missile launcher, and a circular saw blade."

"That's kinda hot!" Moxxie strains and gives a thumbs up. Out of many tries of getting everyone's attention, this is the one that caught it.

"No it's not Moxxie. This guy is old." I spoke, my tongue laced with disgust.

◇◆◇◆◇◆

A/n

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Next chapter won't be out till next year. And sorry for the short chapter but this month has been rather busy. Also the new episode was amazing. Now we gotta wait till season 3... But thankfully the shorts will still happen as we wait.

Have a great new year and happy Christmas!