I got to the cafe that Harry and I call 'our cafe' about five minutes ago. I ordered myself a chai latte and Harry a tea seeing as he despises coffee. He tells me that he gets all his energy from green juices and protein, I think all that stuff is bull and that a coffee and a donut is the way to go. 

I see a tall, lanky figure walk through the door and as per usual people stare at the person walking through the door and a few of them keep their eyes on the British boy as they obviously don't find him ugly to look at. He's wearing his usual black skinny jeans, what's new? He has a white tee underneath with a long black coat over the top. His hair is pulled into a blue beanie and when he spots me he doesn't smile or look away with disappointment, he just remains looking at me with that emotionless face I know all too well.

Harry isn't one to show his emotions, so reading him is like being in first grade when your teacher told you to choose a book and if you couldn't read five words on the first page then the book wasn't for you and you ended up choosing a picture book with no words. I always went for the picture books anyway because I have always believed in the saying 'a picture says a thousand words'. 

I expect him to sit in down in front of me straight away, but Harry being the gentleman he his despite whether we are on good terms or not pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek. To be honest, I am sick of the fighting and would like nothing more than to go back to how we were and be able to tell him how much I love him and watch tv together, cuddled up into him. However I don't know if he wants the same thing.

"I ordered you a tea is that okay?" I ask as he takes his coat off and places it on the back of his chair. 

"Yes, how much-"

"Harry, I can afford to buy us a tea and a chai latte I won't go broke." I laugh, but he doesn't as his expression still remains emotionless. "If you're angry with me can you please go off at me or something already because this silence and emotionless looks you are giving me are driving me mental."

"Would you rather me fake my happiness?" He frowns and sighs. "I am not a fake person, Ella."

"I'm not saying to fake anything. Are you not happy in our relationship?" He just said would I rather him fake his happiness, so does that mean he's no longer happy being with me. He probably came here to break up with me. I feel sick, I don't want my chai anymore. 

"Did I ever say I wasn't happy?"

"Well that's how I interpreted it."

"I love you Ella, so why would I be unhappy? Yes I may have been unhappy that you went out last night to a party without telling me first, but it isn't that easy to fall out of love with someone - not that I would know what that's like."

I smile as he says that he still loves me and I reach to grab his hand. Thankfully he takes mine. My expression then turns sad as he says he wouldn't know what falling in love with someone is like. "Have you ever fallen out of love with anyone?"

"No." He tries to move his hand away from mine, but I don't let him. 

"Harry, I'm so sorr-" I am cut short by a young girl bringing our beverages to where we are seated. "Thank you so much." I smile at her as she places them on the round table."

"Thank you." Harry can barely show any positive emotion towards the girl, not even a real smile so i know that something is definitely up with him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." He plays with the lid of his cup.

"Harry, I feel quite offended that you think I am stupid enough to believe that." I say and he sighs. "Do you want to go for a walk where it's more quiet and we can talk?"

"Yeah." He nods his head. "Lets go." He stands up and I do the same except I left my coat on, whereas he is putting his back on now. I place my handbag on my arm and pick up the two drinks and hand Harry his as we get closer to the door when he has put his coat on. "Thank you." His hand brushes against mine as he takes his tea from me. 

When we step outside I can't help but cuddle into his arm and rest my head on his chest. I know I catch him off guard as he almost drags me along as he continues to walk. "I'm sorry for not telling you Harry, but I needed that night out last night to clear my head and I promise you on every person I have ever cared about's oath that I didn't do anything out of line."

"I want to believe you." He tilts my chin to look at him. "And I do believe you, but it just hurts."

"Haz, I've forgotten about how rude you were to me and how frightened I was of you when you left my apartment Sunday night and how you turned up drunk to my work opening day when you said you didn't want to go, so why can't you just forget that I went out with Perrie?"

"I don't know okay. I just need time." He snaps and I remove myself from him and stand away.

"What are you saying Harry?"

"I'm saying that I need some time to just clear my own head and figure out where I'm at and what I am going to do. David is still on my case and things at work are not getting any better, so I just need time to get myself sorted."

"How long do you need?" I continuously blink my eyes so that I do not cry in front of him. I can't just cry all the time, I need to be stronger than that. 

"I don't know Ella." You can hear the frustration in his voice when he speaks. "I just need a break from us."

"Well I'll give you that break because you do need to sort yourself out." I admit. "And you know what Harry, maybe this break will be good for me too because I may be able to become the strong and independent woman I once was and not this emotional piece of wreck." I throw my chai in the bin behind me as I know that if I do drink it I will puke it back up with the way I'm feeling right now. 

"Ella, wait." Harry tries to grab my arm when I walk off, but I brush it off and continue walking. If he  wants a break, I may be giving him a more permanent one. I am hurt right now and I am sick of feeling this ache in my heart. I love this boy to death, but the effect he has on me isn't healthy.