Dealing with Character Harm Discomfort

It's pretty common for writers to feel like their characters are real people... we view them as our kids, family, or friends, and we care about them as deeply as we would if they were real. However, we wouldn't be writers if we didn't have the intelligence required to know that they are not, in fact, real people--and that they're not actually experiencing any of the harm we put them through.

That said, if you're experiencing discomfort on behalf of your characters when they're harmed in your story, it's worth examining where that discomfort is actually coming from. Because again, you know they're not real people, so that's not where the discomfort is actually coming from. So, where is it coming from instead?

1 - Harm without Substance - Every writer is different and every story is different, but if you're trying to write fiction with plot, character development, and meaning, you need to make sure the harm you put your characters through is in service of the plot. In other words, it has to move the plot, character development, or world building forward in some way. It should also tie back to your story's themes and messaging. Otherwise, the discomfort you're feeling is probably just your subconscious saying, "this is harm for the sake of drama and it has no substance."

2 - The Harm Hits Close to Home - Sometimes we put our characters through things because we're trying to process harm we've experienced ourselves, or harm that our loved ones or people in our community have experienced, and putting our characters through it is our way of processing. So, it's not really that you're feeling discomfort for your characters so much as you're feeling discomfort for yourself, loved ones, or community members. If you can look at what you're putting your characters through and see parallels to harm you've experienced or that hits close to home, it may be worth talking to a professional about it to analyze what's going on and learn some healthy coping strategies.

3 - Exploitative Harm - Another source of discomfort worth considering is discomfort from knowing, on some level, that you're exploiting real world harm for the sake of drama and entertainment. So, in this case, it's not discomfort for what your characters are going through, but personal discomfort because you know you're doing something that may be harmful to some of your readers. In this case, it's again important to make sure the harm in your story has purpose and that you're portraying it in a way that is respectful and authentic. The best thing you can do in this case is to make sure you utilize sensitivity readers to make sure your portrayal is safe and won't cause actual harm.

Happy writing!