Sirius' skin prickled as Remus' fingers brushed along his cheekbone. A steady pulse of music throbbed below their feet as they sat in the dorms while James was throwing a little party in the common rooms to commemorate the end of exams.

Sirius grabbed Remus' wrist gently and placed a gentle to kiss the the palm of his calloused hand. Remus pressed his head into the crook of Sirius' neck as they tangled together on the single bed and in the burgundy sheets. Sirius curled into the taller boys warmth and they held each other impossibly closer, not willing to let go.

The end of their schooling years was impendingly close and they weren't ready to leave yet. They would take all of the time they could together in safety before the real world hit them and they had to go fight for Dumbledore and for their friends and for each other.

"We'll be okay. So will Peter, so will Lily and James, so will Alice and Frank, Marlene, Mary, Dorcas, everyone. We all will. And then when it's all over, and that fuckface has lost, me and you are going to have a kid and James and Lily and Peter will be the godparents and it'll be amazing. Yeah?"
Sirius murmured sleepily.

Remus laughed, wrapping his arms around Sirius' waist and holding him tightly. Sirius closed his eyes and let the soft lull of Remus' heartbeat send him to sleep. Remus pressed his hand to the small of Sirius' back and moved him closer so he wasn't hanging off the bed. Sirius wrapped his legs around Remus' waist to eliminate the little space in his just barely concious state and his arms went around Remus' neck.

"Sneaky bastard."
Remus mumbled sleepily and Sirius snorted before his breathing evened out once more and he was asleep, tangled into Remus like he would float away if he let go.

¤

Lily and James sat in their living room 4 years after they finished up their last year at Hogwarts. Lily had Harry in her lap and she stroked his dark chocolate locks. Those same locks that resembled those of her husband who sat next to her with a frown. He had just gotten home from seeing Frank who had some important news and he hadn't spoken a word.

"James love, what's wrong?"

"Wait until Sirius and Remus get here."

~

Sirius and Remus turned up and Sirius immediately went for Harry, lifting up the small boy from his mothers lap and holding him in a tight hug. Harry giggled as Sirius squeezed him a little bit tighter before kissing Lily's cheek and hugging a shaken up James.
"You alright, mate?"

Remus greeted them the same way before sitting next to Sirius who was still holding a contented Harry. Remus ruffled Harry's hair, causing the young boy to giggle.
"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"The...the McKinnon's are...dead."

Lily's hand flew to her mouth and Remus and Sirius grabbed each others hands, shocked and horrified.
"Holy shit."

Lily sobbed into James' shoulder and Remus brought Sirius to him and hugged him without squashing Harry. Sirius had a tear roll down his cheek and he breathed in Remus' scent, making sure he memorized it in case the worst happened.

¤

Remus was away for weeks at a time, and nobody knew where he went.

But there was someone who was ratting out members of the order.

Remus was actually trying to get a community of werewolves on their side before Voldemort got them, so he went there. It just so convieniently happened though, that he was gone when most of the people in the order were being killed.

He got home late one night and was greeted by an angry Sirius who had punched a hole in a wall before Remus had gotten there and pushed Remus once he got in the door.

"Is it you, Remus? It it you?"

"What the fuck, Sirius? What are you doing?"

"ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S SELLING EVERYONE OUT?!"

Remus took a step back and stared at Sirius with wide eyes.

"W-what? How...how could you say that?"

Sirius was still furious.
"You're never here anymore! We're dropping like flies and you aren't fucking here! Where do you go?"

Remus bit his lip.
"I-I can't tell you."

Sirius threw his hands in the air and let out a frustrated cry.

"How do you expect me to trust you if you're always keeping secrets? You may as well be working with Voldemort himself! Your kind always go to his side!"

The room seemed to freeze in time as Sirius realised what he had said.
"I-I didn't mea-"

"No. It's...it's fine. I'll just go."

"No, Moony-"

"I'll see you next time Dumbledore calls."

Sirius tried to stop Remus as he grabbed a small bag to put some clothes in.
"I think...I think that we're over."

Sirius froze again and his breath escaped him. When he finally could speak, his voice came out in a broken whisper.
"No."

"No?"

"I'm sorry Remus. I'm just stressed and...and scared. Merlin, I'm scared. I can't lose you."

Remus sighed and sat on the bed, elbows on knees and head in his hands. Sirius stood in front of his and Remus put his head on Sirius' stomach. Sirius pushed his hands gently through Remus' hair as he cried.

"Im sorry. I-I'm gone all the time because...Dumbledore asked me to go to a small community of Werewolves and try to recruit them to our side. You know, before Voldemort does. I'm sorry I'm not here, but I'm trying to help us in the grand scheme of things."

Sirius was surprised that Remus was doing such a dangerous thing and didn't tell him. But he wasn't mad. He was...proud of him. For being so brave.

"Wow. When...when are you leaving next?"

Remus hesitated.
"Tomorrow."

Sirius sighed and knelt down in front of Remus, pressing their foreheads together.
"We'll make it. We'll get that life we dreamt of and we'll have that little boy and we'll name him Teddy. We'll have it. Just you wait."

Remus sighed again and pulled Sirius into a tender hug, a tear slipping down his cheek.
"Merlin, I hope so."

Sirius' voice cracked when he spoke.
"I love you. Don't leave me."

"Ditto."

¤

Remus was away when Sirius went to visit Lily and James on the 31st of October, 1981.

Sirius aparated into the mess that was their living room, and he saw James unmoving amongst the rubble, eyes open and blank and glasses cracked and snapped. His messy hair was matted with blood from where he hit his head on debris if the roof and his body was tangled in wires and bricks. Sirius was...the feelings were indescribable.

He raced up the stairs and saw an unmoving Lily, her flurry of bright red hair seemingly darker and she looked beautiful even in cold, pale death. Her emerald eyes were pale and lifeless, as if all of the magic of her soul had drained out of her body. It had.

Sirius searched the house for Harry, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Peter..."

~

Sirius stood in wreckage, laughing uncontrollably as his ears rung from the explosion and his eyes drained out all of their tears. His skin was dirtied and his body was weak and when the aurors arrived and picked up Peter's discarded finger, he simply cackled even harder, unable to stop though he was absolutely destroyed inside.

Sirius was repoted to have only said two words repeatedly through his manical laughter.

"Goodbye Teddy."

¤

The moment that Tonks had given birth to their son, Remus had a memory that brought him pain and joy at the same time.

"C-can we name him Teddy?"

Tonks looked at Remus and smiled happily with eyes that weren't as beautiful as Sirius' but almost and hair that was too pink to be black but was still gorgeous. And Remus smiled back.

"Teddy? Like my father?"

Remus hesitated.
"Y-yeah."

Tonks laughed weakly.
"Of course we can."

Her fathers name was actually Edward, but Ted was his nickname. Remus could pretend that it was because of her father, just like he pretended that him and the Marauders were all only friends and that she was the only person who his love was reserved for.

Even though every night the face of Sirius Black-before the war and before the deaths and before any shit happened-popped into his mind and he woke up with a start. Every night.

¤¤¤

This is shit. I'm sorry. Lol.