THE TWENTIETH LETTER
[NOT SENT]

harry,

things were going so well. i actually thought that we might be getting somewhere with rebuilding us, even if it was slow. but you haven't phoned or texted in almost a week now and i'm starting to worry that you've given up.

did i scare you with my question about what we are?

if i did, i didn't mean to. i was just worrying as always. worrying that i was going to lose you again because i wasn't trying hard enough, but am i trying too hard?

sometimes i wonder if maybe we're not meant to be, but then i remember that we came back together after everything the world put us through. if we can come back from that to what we were like a week ago, we can do anything.

my sister tells me i'm too hopeful for my own good. she says that you're just going to break my heart again, but i don't listen to her because i don't want to start doubting you. the doubts were what led to our break up the first time.

i trust you, harry.

and i know i used to say that to you all the time, but now i mean it with all my heart. we're being honest with each other now and that's really important to me. i appreciate it a lot more than you know. i know i said i was going to be honest with you, but i never made you promise to do the same. so when you mirrored the honesty, the hope blossomed into the most vibrant of flowers.

but now the flower is wilting. your lack of communication is yet again hindering progress between you and i. but i can't help but wonder why you've distanced yourself. what did i do wrong?

love, marnie x

-

there's hardly any chapters left of this and
that makes me so happy and also sad because
I've gotten so attached to marnie and the
way she writes these letters. it's literally like
she's writing what she's thinking and not at all
filtering it. i love that about her.