"So who is up for a game?" Junmyeon asked as he walked out of the cafeteria with his friends: LuHan and Minseok, Baekhyun being busy with his job at the bakery. "As we are now in the second year of the college, I have some work to do at the faculty" LuHan answered, the other two nodded. Junmyeon turn to look at the silent boy, "I have to help my classmate with his assignment, after that I'm free" Minseok replied and Junmyeon nodded at that.

"Why don't you ask the sunbae*-Yixing" LuHan teased, making him sigh. "He'd be busy, I don't want to disturb him," Junmyeon said. "Yeah, bitch. You love him more than us?" LuHan said with fake anger. "Who said I love you. I tolerate you, there's a difference" Junmyeon said, swatting the boy beside him.

(Sunbae = Senior)

Minseok looked at them with full of amusement. "So Junmyeon choose between us and Yixing?" Minseok asked, playfully. The said boy turned his head in their direction, looking serious, "Bros before hoes." LuHan said. "That, but I just discovered my feelings for him. Do you think I'm capable to answer that?" Junmyeon replied.

"Oh really! Then Grandpa and Yixing, who-" LuHan started only to cut off by the eager boy," Grandpa" Junmyeon looked serious when he said that, "Grandpa always comes first" He looked at his friends. Who obviously knew the answer before it was spoken.

Junmyeon was spoiled by his grandfather, he grew up in those arms, he always saw him beside him, how wouldn't he be the first choice. "We'll see when you make him meet Grandpa and he didn't like him." Said LuHan, playfully. "Yeah, I was thinking about it. If this thing works out between me and Yixing. And I win his heart. I would like him to meet Grandpa." Junmyeon said, happily smiling ear to ear.

Both of his friends had fond smiles. Happy Junmyeon was always their motto. As every group of friends has that one friend they all want to protect, well in this group it was Junmyeon, even being the same age, the other three always felt protective feelings for the other. LuHan being that friend who always put you at the risk tries to encourage you to try: Baekhyun being the one would throw witty remarks and shade, motivates you when it comes to that, and: Minseok being the one who loves the drama, always support you in everything, but the thing is that they were always there with him.

Junmyeon considered himself lucky. If someone else had asked to choose between his friends and Yixing, he had chosen them in one breath. It's just that he would never admit that in a friend of them. Don't take things to that sentimental every time, as Baekhyun says, that keeps the group alive, even there time comes when they needed to let the emotions out and it was okay, it was always okay to feel down because his friends were always there, they never force him to talk, they wait for him to open up, sometimes he needed a push and they knew it.

Gosh!! He loved his friends. Won't sell them for anything.

They parted to him to the next turn of the road. Junmyeon sighed walking towards his dorm when he felt his phone buzz in the new ringtone he just set the last night. It was the song that Yixing sang at the Music Festival, just it wasn't his voice.

He stopped to drag out his phone and answered the call:

"Hello"

--

"I think the drumbeat is too up, you should check that," Jongin said, taking off the earplugs, as he listens to the beat composition Yixing had made. Yixing nodded, taking his phone back. They were walking to get lunch. "I want to eat something western today, like pasta or pizza something." Jongin started, looking impatient at his growling stomach. "Can you walk a little bit faster, I'll die with hunger if you won't"

Yixing rolled his eyes, but didn't fasten his speed, he was looking ahead, "Man, I didn't eat since yesterday night, I and Tae, were horny and we did several times, I feel tired too. Gosh!! Why this is so far." Jongin was whining, as he walked tiredly. Yixing stopped listening to him a long time ago, he knew how Jongin gets when he feels hungry. But boy! Why he had to place sex before food, Yixing wouldn't understand.

It wasn't like Yixing was fond of food, he ate to keep his hunger down, stomach content, and keep going in life. He stopped expecting from life a long time ago, stopped feeling, But begin to what did he ever really tried? From the start of his 'consciousness', he stopped feeling at all.

Until Junmyeon came, he was drowning in the ocean of feelings in that he couldn't swim. He started to feel things those he never knew the name of. First, he was irritated with everything, wanted to stop that torture, it was hard for him to keep going with the things changing inside him. He couldn't endure.

And then he started expecting: to others to notice him, to get to see him, to feel his presence, to hold him, to listen to him. As he realized things he found them beautiful, the precious memories as nightmares came back to him. It did hurt him, feelings hurt, but then why with Junmyeon it was so beautiful, so comfortable to feel like it depends on him and he could choose life so beautiful.

"Are you eve- HEY, where are you going?" Jongin's voice was loud, but Yixing's heart was beating so furiously with worry when he spotted the familiar figure across the road.

Junmyeon, crouched down on the pedestrian, pulling his hairs, was crying. Yixing was worried, about what could happen to the other. Is he having some panic attacks? Yixing thought as he ran towards the younger. His mind was trying to find a possible reason, at the same time thinking to hug the other and comfort him.

As he reached there, he could hear the sobs escaping from the younger, he crouched down and mumbled softly," Junmyeon" The other didn't look up or reacted in any way for Yixing to understand that the other knew of his presence. He lifted his hand to touch the other, his inner selves arguing for yes or no.

After a few seconds, Yixing put his hand on other's shoulders that made him look up. Yixing's heart ached at the sight: Junmyeon was looking at him, broken, eyes were swollen, tears flowing down from his eyes, lips quivering. Yixing just felt his heart shattered and crumbled down.

He didn't ask anything, didn't say, gave him his hand asking if the other wanted to go home. Junmyeon took the hand and stood up, he was still crying, Yixing didn't stop him, but pressed other against him, as he embraced the other. Junmyeon let out broken sobs, making Yixing's legs tremble, but he kept the other pressed to him until the other wanted to pull away.

They walked side by side, Junmyeon had his head on the other's shoulder, and Yixing's hand around the other's waist, keeping him steady. Yixing would glance at the other every second, to check him. Junmyeon looked lost the time they pulled away, he felt like his energy was drained, he looked like the unconscious, but still in steady.

Yixing didn't ask anything, he chose to give the other space, when the younger will be ready he'll tell him, if not, he respects the other's decisions.

--

Junmyeon stirred up from the sleep, as he opened his eyes, he felt pain, like someone scratched his eyes from insides. They were sour. He felt a body pressed to his. He sighed before opening his eyes, slow and carefully. He came against the chest of someone, he pulled a little away and look up to find Yixing was sleeping, he had his arm around him.

He sighed, taking off other's hand and pulling away, as he did, he found that Yixing's eyes fluttered open and he was now, looking at him. There was silence, when Junmyeon sighed again, sitting on the edge of the bed, facepalmed. Yixing didn't budge, he was scared, many thoughts were running in his mind, at the speed of F1 race cars.

"Are you alright?" He asked, softly. His nerves were making him to just spring in front and take the man in his arms, protect the younger from all the pain. But he knew how did that would make the other feel, the other needed his space and Yixing would willingly give that to him.

"Grandpa is in hospital" Said Junmyeon, without looking at him."I will go tomorrow to see him." Junmyeon choked and let out a broken sob, making Yixing react and he enveloped others in his arms. "I am scared, Yixing" Junmyeon cried, clutching other's shirt.

Yixing didn't know what to say or do, so he just followed his instinct and said, "It will be alright" He wasn't sure, all he wanted was to comfort Junmyeon. He started making small circles on younger's back to soothe him down. Junmyeon cried in his arms until he passed out.

Yixing laid the other down on the mattress and slipped out to call Jongin to inform Junmyeon's friends of his whereabouts and went out to buy some food for the other's to eat, once he wakes up, he'll be hungry.

--

His friends were there, Baekhyun was crying, LuHan just sat there, frozen and Minseok was hugging Baekhyun and comforting him, While Junmyeon hadn't woke up yet. Yixing stood there staring at his beloved younger, he was getting worried as each second passed.

"Water" Junmyeon mumbled, his eyes were still closed but his body was shifting. He didn't drink a drop of water since the time he got the call from Sehun. Yixing ran to grab a water bottle and pour the liquid on the glass and ran to the younger and helped him drink it.

His friends reacted by getting up and sitting on the mattress. "Give him some air, you're blocking it," Yixing said, annoyed. And they did step away. Junmyeon coughed as he sat up, Yixing patted his back slowly to stop his coughs.

Junmyeon opened his eyes and found his friends, and the guy broke-down again, "Lu" He said in a hoarse voice. It was broken after crying so much. LuHan reacted by hugging the other one, soon it turned into a group hug, with everyone crying. "Hey, shhh!! We are all going to visit him together. Don't worry" LuHan comforted.

"We'll go tomorrow" He added, kissing the other's forehead, and they heard the footsteps, LuHan looked back to find that Yixing had left.

They ate in silence, Yixing wasn't there, but he left food on the table. Junmyeon didn't want to but was forced by his friend. They stayed with him until the other fall asleep. His eyes were red and swollen than before. LuHan stood up and called Yixing to come back and that they are leaving.

After a few minutes, Yixing was back in his room, the time Junmyeon's friend left. He hadn't eaten, so when LuHan said that they made him eat, Yixing ate the box LuHan left for him on the table. He quickly ate it, without feeling any taste, any flavor, he just had to eat so he could have the energy to take care of the other.

He was taking the extra pillow that Junmyeon wasn't using so he could sleep on the couch, but Junmyeon held his hand indicating others to not leave, so Yixing stayed, slipping beside him, taking him in his arms.

"I want to distract my mind, tell me something" Junmyeon's voice was still broken and Yixing didn't want him to use it. "Don't talk" Yixing said, softly, making Junmyeon look up to him, "Then tell me" Yixing nodded, thinking, there were things he couldn't tell Junmyeon, but there was something he could. He had to because Junmyeon needed him. It was Junmyeon and Junmyeon was life, he was important than anything else, he was with him.

"The day you kissed me in the bathroom on the first day of my sophomore year, wasn't the first time I saw you." Yixing started, softly, his breath against other's hair, "It was one year before when I-" Came here after my life changed, "I was walking to my college, I saw you walking out from the subway, drink in your hands, you looked so happy, so content, full of feelings-" Things I forgot if I ever had in my life, "You came like a light in full of darkness. I was thrilled-" A feeling, I felt a feeling just by the first glance of you, "Jun, I-" He looked down to see that others fell asleep.

His smile that formed on his lips, soon, turned into sorrow.

Jun, there are things I can't tell you. I'm sorry Jun, I don't want you to hate me.

A tear slipped down from his eye, as he got lost in memories.

---

"Grandpa" Junmyeon ran towards the room, opening the door, calling out his grandfather, who looked healthy, smiled at him. "My Sonja*"

(Sonja = Grandson)

Junmyeon hugged the other carefully. He smiled back, "You're the one I wanted to see before I sleep at last," His grandpa said. Junmyeon pouted angrily, "Don't say that, you've slept enough, it's time to wake up" He heard the elder chuckle, then he said, "Your grandma is calling me to meet here, she can't wait anymore. I have to go."

Junmyeon was again close to crying, when his grandpa said, "Don't you want me to meet the boy, you were talking about. Don't you bring him with you?' Junmyeon's mind shifted, he shocked, looked at his grandpa, who was grinning, "How do you know I come with him?" He asked.

"So you bring him. Call him in" Junmyeon nodded at the elder's words, as he walked out and called the other in. As Yixing walked in, Junmyeon chirped, "Grandpa! he's here" Yixing bowed at the elder when he heard the voice and stunned:

"Lay?"

----

A/N: Cliffhanger ....?????

Yixing's past is a triggering thing. It's gonna be so dark, so I'm saving the darkness for next chapter. Should I put a trigger warning before it? In the chapter? when I/He talk about it? When I first thought about what would be Yixing's past story (The first thing I thought about before writing the story) I legit felt tears in my eyes. I don't know if it's gonna be the same for you.

This is so hard when you write a character's arc and you can feel everything. As much as I hate this feeling I love it the same. Like invading into a story, that i created.

I'm sorry, i just feel into the pit of void too much. I'm sorry.

I hope you liked this chapter.

Lots of love

<3 <3 <3