On our first date, which was the evening of my last day of classes, Derek took me out for Mediterranean Tapas. It was at a cozy, underground type of place. I thought these only existed in the movies.

He was the perfect gentleman: he picked me up, opened up all the doors for me, held my hand as I walked over ice in stilettos... the stilettos were a bad idea, but he had told me to dress up, and I wanted to impress. I wore my favorite dress that I rarely had occasion to wear, and I even put on some makeup and straightened my hair.

The most shocking thing that happened that night was my parents agreeing to let me go out on a date. I guess they were worried about me, because my mom kept assuring me that I looked stunning even when I didn't ask and I could have sworn I heard my dad mumble something about someone finally seeing my worth. But that last part might have just been in my head.

"So, what do you want to do with your life?" Derek asked me after we had gone through the little chit-chat about our days and telling each other about our families.

"Not sure," I automatically lied. It was a habit.

"Really?" he asked. But his reaction wasn't one of surprise. Somehow, his expression told me that he didn't believe me. Oh well, I'd might as well tell him. I'd probably scare him off at some point during this date and I'd never see him again anyway. Besides, I liked talking about my passion, and I rarely get a chance to do so.

"Fine," I said. "Honestly, I just want to write. If I could become a successful novelist, I will be happy in my life."

It looked like he was trying not to smile. "Why do you want to do that?" he asked. He seemed genuinely curious.

"Because, then I get to create my own world with my own people and I can control what they do and say and I can determine the outcome. I know I sound like a control-freak, but in a world where even my own actions aren't the exclusive determinative of the outcome, it's nice to have a place where I know exactly what will happen," I started.

Then I stopped. "Sorry, you probably don't care to know about that." When did I become so outwardly insecure and scared? I was usually the brave and strong one on the outside, regardless of what I felt on the inside.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care," he said, not breaking his gaze. I looked down in embarrassment. "And if anyone asks and then doesn't care, they're an idiot," he continued. I looked up. Was he being for real? "What happened?" he asked after a few tense seconds.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Who made you feel bad about dreaming?"

I shrugged. "Nobody and everybody. You know how it is. I need to grow up and find a real job. Get my head out of the clouds. Stop dreaming and start acting my age," I explained.

"Ah," he said, dipping a piece of pita into the hummus sitting in the middle of our table. "There's nothing wrong with dreaming. Imagine if all the great writers 'stopped dreaming'," he said, putting his free hand up and doing air-quotes. "We wouldn't have all the great literature that we have out there."

"Probably not," I said, shrugging and eyeing the food.

"Do you not like hummus?" he asked.

"I do," I replied.

"You're not going to turn me off if you eat," he said, reading my mind.

"What about you?" I asked, changing subjects. "What do you want to do with your life?"

"I'm going to be a trainer," he said. "I'm just waiting to finish high school, and then I'm going to get my certification." I started to feel insecure again.

"I just want to help people get healthy, you know? But I don't have the brains or patience for college, so being a doctor or a nurse is out of the question, or any other medical or nutritional job. But being a trainer, I get to work one-on-one with people and I get to build relationships with them and actually be a part of their transformation. Besides, I love being active, so being in a training environment all the time would be perfect," he continued.

I could see the passion in his eyes. It wasn't about meeting hot girls or getting buff himself, but truly about helping people in a way the works best for him.

"That's pretty noble," I said. He chuckled. It was such an adorable chuckle.

"Not that noble," he replied. "I do expect to get paid top dollar. If I'm lucky, I'll eventually be a trainer to the stars and rake in the big bucks. Then I'll start a training enterprise, but I'll keep my initial clients. Like a loyalty program or something, you know? I'd hate for the people I started with not to continue with me because they can't afford me anymore."

I laughed. "How generous," I stated.

"I like your laugh," he said, smiling a little shyly. How did he do it? He really knows how to make me feel like the only girl in the universe. In a good way.

"I'll try to do it more often, then," I said. Woah, where did that come from? I was not the flirtatious type. I didn't even know how to flirt.

"Lucky me," he replied. I just smiled. It was all I could think to do. I must have looked so stupid, but if I did, Derek never acted like he suddenly couldn't stand the sight of me. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect first date ever.

* * *

It was a little while later, and it was close to my birthday. True to their promise, my friends decided to take care of most of the festivities. It was still a few days away, and Mackenzie, Samantha and I had decided to stop at our favorite coffee shop to meet for a few hours as soon as my family and I got back from our trip upstate.

"Can I ask you guys a favor?" I asked.

"Sure hun, what's up?" Mackenzie asked.

I took in a deep breath. "Could you invite Derek to my birthday party?" I held my breath, waiting for their reaction.

The truth was, Derek and I had only had the chance to go on that one date, but we had been calling and texting ever since, and I grew more and more enamored with him.

"You didn't!" Mackenzie said in happy surprise.

"Who's Derek?" Samantha asked.

"The gym guy," Mackenzie filled in.

"Really?" she said, her surprise matching Mackenzie's. The same happy surprise. I knew I could count on them to be supportive of me, and always be happy for my happiness. I nodded, shyly.

"When did this happen? And why didn't you tell me when it happened?" Mackenzie asked, suddenly switching to insulted.

"It's still really new," I defended. "We only went on one date, but when I told him about my birthday, he insisted on coming, and I don't know... I guess it'd be nice if he came."

"Of course he can come!" Samantha said. "Give me his number, I'll text him the details right now."

"Thanks Sam," I said, finally letting out the breath I had taken in earlier.

"This is perfect!" Mackenzie said, clapping in excitement. "I have to tell Ivan!"

"Why do you have to tell him? He'll find out at my party," I defended. I didn't want to spread the word, in case Derek suddenly came to his senses and decided not to come. I'd hate to endure that kind of public humiliation. The fewer people that knew, the better.

"Because he's been impatiently waiting for you to get over Caleb," Mackenzie replied a little too loudly.

"Zee, please," I begged. "Just in case he can't come, please don't spread it around. Besides, I don't want him to be scared off if everyone starts to clamor and interrogate him."

"Um, he will not escape my investigation, and that's that. I don't care if he's the first guy you've gone out with, I need to make sure that boy is worthy of you, do you understand me?" she said with all the authority of a parent.

"Not at my birthday," I resisted.

"Come on Zee, it's her birthday. She's allowed to ask for that," Samantha defended.

"Fine," Mackenzie finally conceded. "But I get to go next level interrogator the next time I see him."

I nodded in agreement, making a mental note that they will never meet again unless he asks me to marry him. And if that happens, it won't be for a very long time.

* * *

My friends rented out a room at a restaurant belonging to Ivan's dad. I never mentioned this before, but Ivan was well-off. Or rather, his dad was. He had a few restaurants around the city, including a really posh place, which was where Ivan managed to get a private room to throw me a birthday party.

I never admitted this to anyone, but Ivan was my absolute best friend. He knew how to make me feel special without giving me the impression that he wanted more than friendship. And I loved our friendship exactly as it was. He was like a brother to me. Protective, wise, and annoying.

I walked into the party on Derek's arm, and I was happy that everyone was surprised except for Ivan, Mackenzie and Samantha. I decided to tell Ivan about it since I didn't want him to feel out of the loop. Besides, him being the prime organizer of my party, he needed the headcount anyway, so I was sure that Samantha would have eventually told him who the mysterious extra person was.

"Happy birthday!" they all shouted as we walked in, and I couldn't help but feel extra special. Don't get me wrong, my friends never made me feel small, but this year was different. I guess Derek really helped with that.

I sat down on the overly-decorated chair that was clearly meant to be my seat, and Derek sat down next to me. All around me were my close circle, some other friends I only really hung out with at school, including, surprisingly, Nathan (I guess he forgave my outburst), and they somehow roped my sister, Ella, into coming.

She was very antisocial, and it was a testament to her love for me that she showed up at an event where she didn't like or at least didn't know most of the people there. So, naturally, she had the seat on the other side of me. She only really got along with Mackenzie, Ivan and Samantha, and that might have been part of the reason they were the ones closest to me: after all, I was very protective of my sister and respected her opinion.

Sitting across from Derek and I were Karen and Caleb. "Hey man, I'm Caleb, and this is Karen," Caleb introduced, extending his hand to Derek from across the table.

"Derek," Derek answered. "I assume you guys go to the same school?" he asked.

Karen nodded, staring at Derek. I started to feel uncomfortable and insecure. If she wanted to get her claws into Derek, I had no doubt she could steal him from right under my nose.

But Derek turned his attention to me and started talking to me, not once breaking his gaze. I couldn't even hear what he was saying. I was simply fascinated by the fact that he could be so focused on me instead of Karen. "Babe?" he called out. That broke me out of my trance. Did he just call me Babe?

Not missing a beat, I replied, "Yeah?"

"Do you want to split an entree for two?" he repeated. I nodded. "Which one?" he asked, looking back down at the menu. I shrugged. I didn't think I could eat anyway. I had too many butterflies in my stomach.

"You pick," I said. "I'll eat whatever." While my eyes trailed back to the menu, I caught a glimpse of Caleb smiling sarcastically. "What's up?" I asked, looking at him, suddenly feeling defensive.

"Nothing," he lied. I gave him a pointed stare. "What?" he asked. "Fine," he finally surrendered. "I just didn't peg you as the type of girl to let a guy decide for her."

"It's not like that," I started to defend. Where was this coming from? Since when did Caleb pin me as any type of girl?

"Maybe she's just not picky so she's letting him decide," Ivan interjected, shielding me from Caleb's criticism.

"Or she's being over-accommodating," Caleb shot back.

I could feel myself get red with rage and suddenly, I needed some air. "Excuse me," I said, getting up quickly and walking towards the door.

Once outside, I regretted leaving the warmth of the restaurant without my jacket. It was freezing. But I needed a moment alone. I focused on the clouds my breath made as I breathed out, trying to slow my heartbeat to a semi-normal rate. Why did what Caleb think about me bother me so much?

"Hey stranger," Ivan said from behind me. I managed to mask my disappointment before I turned around, but he knew me better than that. "I had to fight Derek to be the one to come out and comfort you," he teased. I smiled, and Ivan wrapped me in a hug. "You're an idiot for coming out here without something to keep you warm."

"Always ready to kick me when I'm down," I replied sarcastically. Ivan chuckled.

"I won't say what I think of Caleb, because we both know how I feel about him. But my question is, how do you feel about him?" Ivan asked.

I shrugged out of his embrace. "I'm with Derek," I replied, looking at him with confusion.

"I know who you're with, but if Derek is just a means to getting over Caleb, it's not fair to him and it's not fair to you either. I actually like the guy, I think he's great for you, but neither of you deserve the heartbreak of you getting over Caleb and realizing Derek was just a rebound of sorts."

"He's not a rebound," I mumbled into my collar.

"Well, why are you with him?" Ivan asked.

I nestled back into his embrace, because I was shivering uncontrollably at this point. "Because he's a great guy who makes me feel special," I replied. "He sees me for the prize I am," I repeated, remembering Ivan's words to me just a short while ago. I could feel him smile above me.

"But what do you like about him? I'm not asking about how he makes you feel, but what you feel for him," Ivan continued. "What is inherently great about him?"

"Well, he's passionate about what he wants to be in life, he's self-assured, and he couldn't care less what other people think. He has his own opinions and thinks for himself," I replied.

"Ah, so he's the male version of you," Ivan teased. I snorted. The way I described him, that was true. "Look, like I said, I like the guy. But if you're not in this for the right reasons, do both of yourselves a favor and end it now," he said, looking at me seriously.

"I don't get you," I stated angrily. "First, you tell me to go for a guy who will treat me well, and when I do, you tell me to break up with him? What is going on Ivan? You're sending me mixed messages and it's frustrating."

"I'm not telling you to break up with him. On the contrary, if you really do like him, I couldn't be happier for you. You've finally found someone worthy of your time and attention. But just be sure you actually like the guy. That's all I'm saying," Ivan replied. "You're both too wonderful to be together for the wrong reasons."

"I really do like him," I said to Ivan. And, at the time, I truly believed that statement.