forty-one. to be a teenage girl

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When I get back to Adam's after spending the rest of the day at Elara's, I find him eating dinner in the kitchen.

"I would have waited for you if I knew you were on your way back. Here, sit down, I'll fix you a plate," he offers.

I sit with him in the breakfast nook. "No, no, you eat. I'll grab something later."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Oh, you know, didn't I grab something before we left for the academy?"

Adam sets down his fork and knife. "You told me that you would go to the cafeteria before class. What's going on? You can't tell me that you aren't hungry after not eating all day."

"I don't know. I just haven't had much of an appetite lately," I admit. "Maybe it's because of the power my father restored to me. Maybe I don't need to eat anymore."

Adam lifts his fork to me with a piece of chicken on it. I roll my eyes, lean over the table, and bite it off. The meat feels strange in my mouth, but I chew and swallow and ask, "Happy now?"

I get up from the table and say, "I'm going to take a shower. Come find me when you're done, okay?"

"Oh, Wrenley," he says, catching me before I disappear into the hall, "the rogue—she is your friend Eli's mate. He'll be returning to the academy with her next semester."

"Wow," I breathe, "great news."

The next day at school I immediately find the girls and tell them what Adam told me concerning Eli's mate. They aren't too fond of him returning to the academy with her, but ultimately we decide that it isn't the girl's fault. We will meet her and be kind to her and make her feel welcome here in Waindale.

This Saturday is the winter formal that Vivianne has been mentioning every now and then. Although Imogen assures us that she already has her outfit picked out, she accompanies Vivianne and I as we search for our dresses Friday after school. There is a charming boutique in the center of town, and we find ourselves there, scavenging through racks of clothes. I look through tens of glittering and draping dresses before finding something that might work. On the other hand, Vivianne is busy in a dressing room with twenty or so dresses packed in there with her. Every time she tries on a new one, she shoves back the curtain to show us. Imogen is sat on a plush stool and reacts dramatically to every dress.

"No, Vivianne!" She cries. "Show me something worth my time, will you?"

"Wrenley, what do you think?"

I walk over to them with my dress laid over my arm. Vivianne is standing in the frame wearing a navy blue number. "It's a pretty dress," I say. My eye catches a pale blue one on the hook behind her, so I point it out. "But try on that one. I think that one will look amazing."

She returns to her cave of tulle and sequins. Imogen motions to the dress I'm holding and questions, "Find something?"

I hold up the lengthy, flowing, lavender piece and she tells me to get in a change room so she can see it on. It doesn't take me long to throw the thing over my head, and when everything is in place, when the thin straps are secured, I step out. Vivianne turns to me in the pale blue dress. We simultaneously decide that these are our dresses, and with Imogen's approval, we package them up and leave to grab a snack at Barb's.

"Don't worry, it will be warm inside. It's not like the winter formal is taking place in the snow," Vivianne says then takes a sip of her latte. "So it's settled then? We're all going together? No guys?"

Imogen takes a bite of her chocolate chip muffin and mutters, "No boys."

"I'd rather go just the three of us," I say.

"Hey, I'm just happy you agreed to go at all."

"I wasn't planning on it, but then I thought about how we should be spending time together. You guys and Elara and Eli—you're my only friends here. You mean a lot to me, and if going to this formal will make you happy, then I'll happily go."

Vivianne sets down her mug at the table we've secured. She eyes me. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"It sounds like you're dying," Imogen says.

"I'm not dying. I just—you know how Eli's mate is a rogue? God knows where she came from. What if you guys find your mates and suddenly you're moving off to the other side of the country? Our time may be limited."

Vivianne sighs. "That could happen, you're right. But I doubt my mate is that far away. They tend to be somewhat close. A lot of the time, you'll find them in the same state."

"I hope my mate is from Europe," Imogen tells us, "so then I get to eat quiches and gelato and croquettes. We'll live in a villa on the water, and I'll spend my days learning Italian and swimming in the Mediterranean Sea."

I let a laugh slip while Vivianne rolls her eyes. Imogen shrugs and takes another bite of muffin.

The next day, I get ready at Vivianne's house since Adam is off with Ben. We get into our pretty dresses but soon cover them with winter jackets as we step outside to get into the car. It starts to snow as we drive to the academy. "It's a good sign," Vivianne says. "Nothing like snowfall during a winter-themed dance, right?"

I press my finger against the glass and it fogs around it. "I can't wait to see Imogen's dress."

"Yeah. It better be amazing if she felt the need to surprise us."

The front entrance of the academy is decorated with an arch of blue, white, and silver balloons. Vivianne grabs my hand and drags me along. My grip-less shoes slide against the ice and a few times I nearly nosedive into the snowbanks lining the walkway. Once I make it inside, a breath of relief escapes my lungs.

"Imogen!" Vivianne calls and dashes off. I glance up from my pitiful shoes to see Imogen in an elegant silver gown. The last thing I expected was for her to dress up. I was sure she would wear her pajamas or a potato sack to undermine the concept of school dances. Or maybe she would dress in all black and pull out a plan on how we could swipe a prized possession from the dean's office. But a gown and brushed hair—this I never expected.

"What in the world," I say as I make my way over. "Where did this come from?"

Imogen shrugs. "Sometimes you have to let your inner teenage girl free from her cage."

Vivianne forces Imogen and I in front of the camera. After our winter-formal photoshoot, we enter the cafeteria-turned ballroom. Vivianne breaks off to greet some friends, so the two of us wander to the snack tables.

"Now, you think I wore this dress because it's very flattering," Imogen mutters. "But you're wrong. It happens to have very large pockets. Instead of standing at this table all night, I can store snacks in my dress and eat whenever I please."

"That makes more sense," I say and sip my fruit punch. "You know what? I didn't think I would like school dances, but something about this feels so classic. The ballons, the band, the punch—it's all timeless."

"That's how the Academy likes to do it. Just because we're a bunch of monsters, doesn't mean we can't reflect that small-town charm."

Vivianne finds her way back to us and orders us to dance. We take up prime real estate right in front of the stage, and I can't help but laugh whenever Imogen pops a cookie in her mouth. There are a few couples scattered about, but for the most part, everyone seems to be enjoying the dance with friends. A couple of songs later, and I'm already feeling the heat on my neck. I leave to use the restroom—which has snowflake stickers on the mirrors—but on my way back to the cafeteria, I notice the doors to the courtyard are open.

Stepping out for fresh air, I take a stroll but notice no other students around. The doors must have been open for the custodians. Maybe we aren't allowed out here.

I stop suddenly, catching my mistake but knowing it's too late. John Aymon is standing behind me when I turn.

"You've been quite busy," he says. "Always surrounded by people—there hasn't been a good time to talk until now. I'm glad I've caught you, Wrenley, because time is of the essence. You've acclimated to the power I've restored, so I've come to give more."

I cross my arms as if the cold still effects me. "I-I'm worried," I say, having to put my thoughts into words. "I'm worried that you weren't honest with me in the diner."

"Why is that?" He asks, making a concerned expression appear on his face, a face that has seen thousands of years but bares only a wrinkle or two.

"I want to know what you really are. I've been adapting to my abilities as you said, but the more I explore, the more I realize the darkness in them. You saw the tree. You said it—"

"Was the forbidden fruit," he finishes. "Yes, I did. I should have known you would be too smart for my antics; you are my daughter after all. Well, if you must know, I have a fair share of darkness in my history. Don't let that consume you, though. But I'm not here to discuss origins, I'm here to give you what is rightfully yours."

This time he steps forward and takes my hand. I watch the connection as if something physical will happen, but instead the familiar sensation of needles jabbing into my fingers returns. I flinch but he holds me still. When he lets go, I nurse my hands, and he's gone after that. I scan the courtyard before hurrying back into the academy. I shut the doors behind me as if some other girl with a mysterious father can be saved.

Stumbling into the cafeteria, I coincidentally bump into my friends. "Wrenley, we were just coming to look for you."

"Sorry," I stammer, "I needed some air."

"Is everything okay?" Vivianne asks.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Come on, let's go dance."

Vivianne drops me off at Adam's when the winter formal comes to an end. Adam's truck is out front, and the sight of it is like music to my ears. I scurry inside and check the kitchen, office, and living room but he isn't there. My shoes get on my last nerve and they're shaken off as I climb the steps to look in the bedroom. He must have heard my restless feet bolt up the stairs because he's waiting at the bedroom doors. 

I take a breath and trudge to him. The words are already leaving my lips. "He was there. My father showed up."

Adam's face hardens. "What did he do?"

"He gave me more of my power," I say as he brings me into the room. I sit on the edge of the bed and drop my head into my hands. "I told him I thought he had lied to me about where he came from. I said I felt darkness."

Adam crouches in front of me. His hands rest on my knees.

"He admitted that there is darkness in his past, and he said I was too smart for his antics. I know it. I know he isn't from some far-away place. He lied to me. I saw it in the fruit—the evil. But he said he wasn't there to talk about his origins, so I doubt he'll tell me any more than that."

Adam takes in a deep breath. "We have to be more careful. It's good that we know this now, but I don't want you at risk."

"We were right. He won't come to me unless I'm alone. If he's what you say he is—a god—then he can only communicate with me in his human form. He won't risk being seen by the people that are close to me."

Adam sits beside me on the bed and brings me into his arms.

"He wants something," I say. "He wants more than giving me my power."






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