I was standing outside my front door biting my lip nervously and unable to think of a way to explain to dad about the circumstances that I was in. I pushed in the security pin and the metallic door slid open  letting me in. I heard the TV blaring with the morning news on. Toby was sitting on the couch with a sandwich in his hand chewing away. I heard the TV guy inform that they would be announcing the chosen women in half an hour. I gulped. How was I meant to tell them? What would their reaction be? What about my friends, Derreck? 

I slowly made my way towards the living room but Toby's voice stopped me in my slow track.

"When do you think Hazel's coming home?" he asked. My dad peered down at his watch. "Oh she'll be coming soon chap don't worry about it" he reassured him then went back to his newspaper. My heart dropped. Here I was, about to go and tell them that they won't be seeing me for a long time and my little brother was already missing me.  I couldn't do that to them, I wouldn't! But then I thought of my baby. The baby I never held in my arms, never even looked at, never even met! And that's what made me steel myself of emotions and slowly ascend the staircase. I subconsciously avoided areas that I knew made noisy creaks on the wood that would have given my presence away.

I snuck into my bedroom, brought out a rucksack and filled it in with essentials and sentimental items I knew I couldn't live without, one being a family photo we took in France. I took my small memory box too that contained my precious items. Before I descended back down I went into Toby's room, breathing in his familiar scent. Taking in his room brought second thoughts so I quickly wrote on a small post-it note and left it on a cracked floorboard where we fondly left secret messages for each other when we were younger. I doubt if he even remembered. Once my bag was full, I placed it on my back and tiptoed down. Taking one glance at my family, who didn't even know of my presence, I turned back on them. I longed to go and hug them just once, my heart panged for it! But I couldn't, unless I wanted a string of questions attacked at me. Questions I didn't want to answer. So with that, I went out of the front door for the last time and walked out.  

 Ξ ☼۞☼ Ξ                                                          

"Goodmorning ladies and gentlemen, this is Wednesday 21st of March and we are live on Sunrise Morning News. Mentioned before by my colleague Richard, we have now received the names of the twenty women chosen to be tested with our new drug Merudoxin"

Toby had just finished his sandwich and was up making his second one. He kept glancing at the clock to check when Hazel was coming back. She left a note saying that she went to  university early but as far as he remembered, today she had only morning lectures and she usually arrived home early. Toby would have been at school too but they had a teacher's inset day which he was grateful for. He hated school! Being the boy with no friends was no fun. But it was no ones fault but his, so he thought. He kept on repelling everyone away because he never replied back. Everyone called him Mute and he was living up to the name.

Ever since his mum died he lost the confidence that he had before. He realised at a young age that you can never take anything for granted so he made sure he always spent a lot of time with his family. That was why he was getting so nervous when Hazel still didn't walk through the door.He never argued with them because he didn't want anything to end with a bad note. Death was on his mind a lot. Just in case something happened to him, he didn't want to die with anyone thinking of him as a bad person. 

"This just got in, we have received news that there aren't just twenty women chosen but actually twenty one! The doctors have decided to start a fresh project based on Merudoxin being tested on a woman before she gets pregnant and then throughout her pregnancy she will be monitored. We will now be listing the women's names. Lisa Munroe, Shelly Kratchett..."

Toby stared at the screen as the names kept adding on. There was no one he recognised. 

"Amira Lopez and finally the tweny first woman, who had been decided only a few hours ago by the main doctor of the Merudoxin project is... Hazel Green"

Toby choked on the first bite of his second sandwich. His dad patted his back hard until Toby was able to compose himself. "You need to chew more" his dad advised him before opening his paper again. Toby shook his head.

"No  it's Hazel! She's on TV!" he announced. His father placed the paper down and squinted at the screen. Along with the other twenty women, Hazel's picture wasplastered on the screen and below her name stated "Fresh Project"

"So these are our twenty one women! Now over to George who will give us the daily weather reports..." 

"Dad! That's our Hazel!" Toby pointed at the screen and peered at his dad nervously. But his dad was already dialling her number and waiting for it to be connected.

It never did.

 Ξ ☼۞☼ Ξ 

I made it in front of the hospital for the second time and Dr Jeffrey was standing there waiting for me with his expressionless face. I threw my phone in the litter bin closeby, with the sim broken and thrown down a drain a few minutes ago. The doctor gestured me to go in and I obeyed. Sliding onto the sleek black chairs didn't make me comfortable. The news was announced. What were Toby and dad thinking right this minute? Did they even get the news or did they change the channel? Are they sad, angry? 

I ran my hand through my hair and looked temtpingly and the door. I could just get out and tell Dr Jeffrey that I changed my mind but then that would go against the promises I made to him back in his office. My knees shook repetitively as my worry overtook me. 

"We'll arrive at the hospital in half an hour. It's an isolated area specifically for testing so you should try and get along with everyone. They're the only people you're going to see in a very long time" Dr Jeffrey announced before the car's engine turned on. This was it. No more backing out now. I had to go through with this. I pretended to gaze out through the window and slowly pressed the button attached to the front of my jacket. It was now recording.