One's subconscious submerged in nothingness is the most gratifying sensation of peace and dread all the same.

The universe sings silent hymns of tall tales that draw your eyes to close forever, edging the darkness to engulf you as you lay there -- as you lay nowhere. Your limbs are taken by the mystery of the night and locked into place as your mind goes numb, its control of your body growing weaker as shadows spread. 

There are brief moments of peace while imprisoned.

Your resolve weakens and your eyes are sealed shut, but there is inherent beauty in being seemingly immortal, even for a bit. All you can feel is the faint trace of a warmness spreading throughout your being, creeping up your spine and blanketing you in sunlight. 

But there is only darkness. 

And perhaps it is not I that is speaking, but my subconscious. It craves this sensation of relief, of a hurriedly worsening feeling that beckons for it to believe that everything will be alright. No worldly pain will come in this fixed position, no treachery will befall my senses and crush my conscience, whom it loves so dearly. 

It is a fragment of the most worldly sense, it is a fragment of my understanding of the world. It emerges from the depths of my mind when there is something that cannot be seen by the worldly eye. It revels in peace, in prosperity, in the moments in which it knows that it cannot be harmed. 

In the moments where my physicality lays in the cushions of nowhere, of nothing. 

So it assumes that there is no risk while being imprisoned. 

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When I was released, I found myself in some sort of holding room, bound tightly to a chair by ropes, my hands cuffed together by heavy slabs of metal to ensure that I had virtually no chance of escaping. This seemed too familiar to be anything but deja vu, but I digressed. For now, I needed to try and find a way out of here. 

As I struggled to find any means of breaking out that didn't involve the large, looming door in the middle of the wall opposite to me, I suddenly felt a presence shift outside my room and enter without a sound. My eyes narrowed at the intruding figure, scowling at the recognizable blue hair and patchy skin. 

"What do you want?" 

Tomura Shigaraki closed the door behind him as he slid into the room, his lanky figure hunched over in its usual position. He clapped his hands together then tilted his head, supposedly happy about something, though I couldn't see his face from underneath the prop hand he always wore.

"Just a little heart to heart." I scoffed at his false sentiment. I was incredulous at the sheer will he had to spout such a ridiculous statement.

"You don't have a heart, Shigaraki. Tell me the real reason you're here." He laughed amusedly, though his tone was a bit robotic -- forced, almost -- but he held his ground. Still maintaining a friendly demeanor, he advanced towards me, the soles of his shoes softly tapping against the concrete floor. Chills ran down my spine the moment he stopped in front of me.

"Remember the last time we went through all of this?" I stared at his undead expression with fierce eyes, begging for myself to not break the exchange or show any cracks in my resolve. Slowly nodding in response, Tomura hummed in satisfaction, shifting to hold his hands behind his back, pleasantly and slowly bobbing his head from side to side.

"Well I just wanted you to know that the offer still stands, even though you were exceptionally rude the last time I gave you a chance." His voice seemed to lift a bit, coming to a slight lilt at the end of his sentence. My jaw tightened and I gulped, sensing a storm brewing somewhere within his disguised irises.

"What do you want me to do with that information?" I snarked, "Bounce around and shout in joy?" There was no verbal response from Shigaraki, but I noticed that his right arm visibly tightened shaking under the pressure that his muscles were exerting on the limb. 

He spoke quietly after that.

"I wouldn't expect that from someone like you, (L/N), but because I'm felling gracious today, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to let you go no matter which side you pick." I let out a laugh, ferociously struggling in my chair in an attempt to taunt him. 

"No matter which side I pick?" I mocked, my eyes widening and brows twisting in disbelief, "You really expect me to believe some horseshit like that?" Despite my sudden outburst, the villain's response was different from what I pictured. He stood perfectly still, as if he was unfazed by my sporadic behavior. Raising his right hand, Shigaraki coldly gazed upon my figure with unseen eyes and swore an oath, to which I absolutely didn't believe that he would abide by.

"You have my word." 

A villain's word is worthless in this monopoly of a world.

"Well I don't want anything from you, regardless of your empty promises," I spat, struggling in my bonds, "I don't want any of it. I don't want to be affiliated with your kind." Almost immediately after the last word came out of my mouth, Shigaraki lunged forwards, pinning my seat to the wall and snapping one of the back legs of the chair.

For the first time since his entrance, I could see his eyes. They were blood red, seemingly glowing in the dimness of my holding cell. Lit up with such bloodlust and hunger -- unkempt rage sparked fires of devastation inside his irises. I wrapped my legs around the front two legs of the chair to keep myself from quivering as I stared into those pools of scarlet.

"Say that again." I remained silent, afraid that my tongue would shatter into two from sheer fright. My limbs were frozen in place and I could hear the pounding of my own heart in my eardrums. Tomura breathed heavily, ragged breaths flowing through his lungs and out of his mouth.

"Say it again!" he boomed, his voice echoing across the room. I flinched at the volume, but managed to state my claim once more. There was clear terror reflected in my gaze, but words were words.

"You're not right," I breathed, "None of this is just." Shigaraki burst into laughter at my declaration, his shoulders and chest quavering as thundering howls too big for his body wracked his frame. I could see the pinkish coloration of the flesh surrounding his neck as he leaned further in.

"You want to tell me about justice?" he whispered, "You want to tell me about what's wrong and what's right? Well let me tell you about reality. 

"Heroes are cowards. They don't pick up the weak. They don't protect everyone. They only seek salvation for themselves."

"That's untrue!" I snarled in objection, feeling a sudden fire flare up in my chest, "Heroes defend society! Their jobs are to take care of the people, to save the innocent from monsters like-" Tomura cut me off with a indignant glare, his eyes devoid of any discernable emotion.

"Do you think anyone's ever cared about a quirkless?" 

And just like that, my body was engulfed in coldness. My heart fell to the pits of my stomach and I froze with wide eyes, suddenly unable to find the strength to argue. Shigaraki chuckled and smoothed out his voice as he spoke next.

"You were not given the boon to live a fulfilling life. You were not born with privilege. You were not born with the privilege to access this society. You were not immediately recognized from birth. This is what defines a villain and a hero." 

He paused for a moment, as if considering something. Brewing tension was in the air, and at any moment everything could have erupted. Noticing that the blue-haired male was visibly relaxing, I held my breath and hoped for the best, praying that things would de-escalate as fast as possible.

Then, he lost his composure. 

Tomura gripped the back of the chair I was sat on with such strength that his arms trembled and the board cracked, splinters coming up and piercing through the fabric of my clothing, causing me to groan as they lodged themselves into my skin. Terrified, I looked up at him only to be met with a pair of crazied eyes. Feeling tears start to well up in my eyes and my breaths becoming short, I could only bear this moment with as much courage as I could muster. 

"We are the people that have been disgraced and disregarded by society," Shigaraki started, seething, "But you don't seem to realize this. You just love to live in this lie, don't you? You just love to pretend like everything is alright with the world and pretend that you can be a hero. You are ignorantly naive about this world, and in turn, you have the audacity to spit at me? You have the audacity to lecture me?" 

He shook the chair, planting more wooden chips into my back, to which I received with no complaint, in trepidation that I would agitate him further. Tomura moved closer to put the last nail in the coffin for our encounter.

"You are an outcast. You are nothing." The room had finally settled after this outburst.

After minutes of absolute silence, Tomura relented, dropping his hold on the wooden seat and stepping away from me, turning his back on my bleeding and tremoring figure. Taking one more awry glance at me with the turn of his head, he smiled and opened his arms to the door, as if welcoming someone else.

"We are one in the same, (L/N). I'll be awaiting you."

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i haven't updated in about 2 or so months, so i just want to thank you all for being ever so patient with me

thank you all for waiting so long for this chapter -- your support really means the world to me :)) i'm so so lucky to have such compassionate readers <3

i'll try and update more frequently in the future xoxo