It is at least a welcome distraction from the other thoughts which have dominated my mind, something Theo is so talented at doing.
He swipes his hand with dismissal. "Don't worry about the clothes. It wasn't for that." he answers, leaving the question in the air. With silence occupying the space between us, I await the answer which he eventually provides. "I guess I just wanted to check in. See how you were doing before you left."
"Oh, okay." I respond, speechless as he adds to his long list of attentive gestures for the day. I would say thank you but I have a feeling Theo would tell me I've reached my quota for thanking him today.
God, maybe I should just return to thinking about my grandmother because now I'm overthinking everything with Theo.
Thankfully, he saves me the hassle and is the one to bring it up himself, so I at least don't have to have that conversation with myself.
"So, did you end up finding out more about how your grandmother is doing? Did you figure out if she forgot anything else, if you don't mind me asking?" he enquires, passing the time as he frustratingly remains stuck behind a car going far too slow for the speed limit in the one lane available. "By the way, don't have to talk about this if you don't want." he adds, interpreting my silence as I contemplate my answer as discomfort with the question.
"No, I'm okay to talk about it," I assure him, "I got a little more info from my Dad and sister. They said she's not doing too bad but with her health and living alone she can't afford to forgot something. I've been filing through all of my memories the last couple months and I strangely can only think of one possible thing I noticed, so either I'm incredibly oblivious or she was just good at hiding things."
"Or, maybe her memory just isn't that bad and there's nothing for you to figure out." he suggests.
I know he can't see my face right now but I meet his response with squinted eyes and a little amusement.
"Well that's rather optimistic of you." I snarkily remark.
He thankfully takes the comment well, simply chuckling under his breath in response, as only once I've let the words spill out of my mouth do I realise that I sounded a bit like a pessimistic smart ass. I mean, it's not what I was going for but not something I haven't been described as before.
"Hey, it's better than stressing yourself out thinking up the worst case scenario. Trust me, I've been there," Theo explains, reminding an oblivious me of the hardships he himself had faced that were far worse than that which I am confronting now. The struggles of adult-me with my grandmother right now pale in comparison to an innocent boy facing the loss of his mother. "Anyways, what's this one thing you mentioned that you noticed?"
"Well, remember how that one time I freaked out because I thought I had lost some earrings at your apartment? The ones that I had gotten as a gift from her for my birthday."
"Right. I remember that. Not the most memorable moment to go down that night for me but, yes, continue." he comments, rendering me speechless as an innocent and deep discussion is flipped on its head.
For it, he earns a slap of his arm to reprimand him for his foul mouthed thoughts, without being too harsh since he is still driving. He objects briefly whilst failing to conceal his smirk before I'm allowed to continue with what I was about to say.
"Anyways, I was going to say, I wore the earrings to lunch with her after that and she didn't even recognise them even though barely any time had passed since she had given them to me and I pointed them out. I mean, could that have been another sign that I missed?" I speculate, grateful now for this opportunity to ride along with Theo as I gain the chance voice all the thoughts that had been tightly locked away all week.
It's odd to think about how comfortable I am sitting here talking about this with him after knowing him for such a short amount of time. I had made so many assumptions about him but now as he sits here, without a suit but instead his university hoodie on as he takes the time to drive me all the way to my grandmother's on his day off, I can genuinely say that I think I've earned an amazing friend. He's come into my life in an unconventional way but I guess now I have a reason to be grateful for all the guys Lexi has dated.
"Ella, you know you can't keep doing this to yourself in the long term. You can't blame yourself for living your life and not noticing all the minuscule clues," he tells me, "They could've told you at any time but they didn't. No one will blame you for not figuring it out for yourself."
"It's a pretty big thing to miss." I point out the obvious.
"Not if you're dealing with someone who has spent a lifetime trying to protect your family from hurt. Trust me, I'm sure your grandmother is more skilled at it than you realise. I know my grandparents certainly were when my mother got sick." he comments, giving me a small glimpse into his past; something that I've learned does not come around very often.
"They hid her sickness from you?" I question, knowing little about his relationship with his grandparents other than that they live in Scotland and he spent time with them when he moved them to attend university.
I begin to question my prying almost immediately though as I notice Theo's fingers begin tapping on the steering wheel instantaneously. "Uh yeah, for most of the first time at least." he reveals through a more hushed, or even strangled, voice.
It is after that response though that a new Theo emerges in the car with me and the open book that had seemingly been present today is pull back within him. He doesn't follow up with any more information nor he does he have anything further to ask me. I know better and let it remain this way because who am I to challenge his boundaries when he has respected mine so well.
And so we sit in relative quiet for the remainder of the trip, only making some small talk and listening along to whatever song plays on the radio.
"Looks like we'll be there any minute now if this navigation is to be trusted. Do you know where we are now?" Theo eventually asks, making me look up from whatever post on social media had stolen my attention to take in my surroundings.
"Um, yeah I do." I answer as the signs of home arise out of every corner, before I proceed to point out the local landmarks.
We turn off the navigation as I lead him down the back streets for the quickest way to my grandmother's house.
"This it is, right there on the left." I point out as the street sign of Ferguson Avenue fades past us to reveal the sight of my grandmother's humble white cladded home.
Once he has parked the car in front on the street, we stop for a moment next to his car in front of the small iron gate that clads her front fence to take in the sight- Theo for the first time and myself for what feels like the millionth. Even at her age, the lawn remains perfectly manicured and the array of mismatched flower bushes spill across her garden beds in an organised manner with her garden statues peeking out in between. It wouldn't win any grand landscaping contests but it was the ultimate garden in my mind, perfectly imperfect with its quirkiness.
"I love it." he remarks, leaning back against his car with his arms crossed gazing at the simple sight before him.
"You love it?" I ask, surprised by his impression of the ordinary suburban cottage that I had basically grown up in.
"I do. It looks like the quintessential American home I always saw on TV or in the movies. Very One Tree Hill."
I laugh at his choice of reference point, not thinking that One Tree Hill would be part of his repertoire.
"Well, I've only ever lived in the city here in the U.S. so I've never really had a chance to get out in the suburbs." he justifies, lifting himself off of the car as he looks around the street.
"Well, I guess it's my turn to be the one to provide you with a new experience for once." I remark as we make our way through the squeaking gate and up the stone lined pathway to my grandmother's front patio.
I grab his arm, pulling him back before he can take the first step up to the patio, once I remember an important point I forgot to raise.
"Wait, before we go in, I'm just warning you that my grandmother is going to have a lot of questions, and by a lot I mean detective-interrogation-level questions. She hasn't really met many of my friends and such, let alone male friends, so she's going to be very interested." I explain, skimming the surface of what my grandmother is like when it comes to anything related to the male population and myself. She was practically starving for any content.
"Right." he chuckles dismissively as he attempts to peek into the windows.
"Bless her, but she's on another level. So, in advance, I'm sorry." I reiterate.
He laughs again, looking away from the house to smile down at me. "You're forgetting that I have a grandmother too who is just as nosy as she is caring. I know exactly what it's like. Plus, she sounds adorable." he says, dismissing me.
"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you." I caution him.
"After you." Theo extends his hand forward for me to take the first step to a step back in time.
So sorry for the long delay (mental health and life is just soooo must fun to deal with) but I'm back and hopefully her to finish this long literary journey!
Ideally more to come soon :)
The Fiction Dreamer
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