Song of the chapter: Grind Me Down (Jawster remix) by Lilianna Wilde 

Having sent off my latest attempt at an article to Monique- also known as my shot in the dark- I've allowed myself to give into Theo once again. I now embrace his role as a welcome distraction from all the chaos that work and everything else is throwing around in my mind.

An obsession ensues in the weeks that follow, the drug that is Theo and what he can do with my body rushing through my veins and far too addictive to give up on just yet. I had said that I just needed to get him out of my system to move past him and everything, but I'm apparently not ready to do so yet. It isn't even a physical thing— he insists on making me try something new nearly every time we meet so that I'm meeting my birthday goals and so that I can't accuse him of using me. One time it is a zero-gravity experience, the next it is taking me to the empire state building or bowling which I somehow had never done. 

I have no idea what I'm doing anymore but I've completely resigned to this whole undefined arrangement we have. It seems to be working in a way because I don't find myself worrying any longer about what is going on with Theo as we have found a routine and grow more familiar with it.

Jess knows all about what is going on and yet we find ourselves sneaking around like school kids, not wanting to have Jess intrude on us. Today, Jess is working and I don't have anywhere to be for a couple of hours so I invite Theo over to take advantage of the empty apartment. 

We skip the formalities now, our lips joining and my back pushed against the door as soon as he walks through it. His arms trap me and allow him to remain looming over me as he holds mine up against the door, his lips ravishing my neck while mine squirm as they'd rather be running down his back. Eventually we make our way over to my bedroom, albeit with childlike giggles shared as us two uncoordinated creatures stumble over pieces of furniture and eagerly discarded shoes. 

Once we reach the bed I am quickly pulled on top of him as he sits back, straddling his waist as he quickly proceeds to discard of my hoodie. Slowly, the desire to immediately cover my body with my arms is declining as I grow more comfortable around Theo by the day. I begin to forget the translucent little lines that call my hips their home or the roll of stomach fat that develops as I sit down or the red lines that appear across my stomach at times from it. Instead, Theo and all the sensations he erupts within me overshadow all those insecurities as I acknowledge that clearly he must not have an issue with my imperfections if he is coming back each time, and frankly I wouldn't want him around if he did have an issue. 

It is my turn to dispose of his jumper, with the black item of clothing joining mine on my bedroom floor.  I now require two hands to count the number of times I have had Theo's bare torso before me and yet my eyes are still so drawn to the small words which are etched into the skin below his ribs. However, like each time before, I don't dare to acknowledge them with my words or hands in case they tread over the invisible line we have established between us; the line which dictates the nature of our current relationship and how intimate we are emotionally. I've barely had a chance to read it anyways as we are always so eagerly rushing through each action with one another. He's never brought it up and I've never exactly wanted to interrupt our activities to enquire. 

So, like every other time, I reluctantly tear my eyes away from the inked script and instead bring them back up to look into his eyes just before they are ultimately closed once again as our lips meet. They are only opened again once Theo tears his lips away so that they can instead shift to just below my collarbones. Meanwhile, his fingers simultaneously run over the lace at the back of my bra while my hands desperately run over my thighs in an attempt control myself as the shivers run down my spine from each nerve he has activated with his touch. I can feel his fingers delicately treading their way over to the clasp when suddenly the slam of what sounds like my apartment door has me flinch out of his grip. 

Theo is immediately looking to me in question, with his eyebrows furrowed in concern, as I try to listen for more information. When a voice eventually calls out "Elle!" I gain the answers I need and am promptly lifting myself off of Theo and dragging Theo by the arm so that he can join me. 

"What are you—" Theo begins as he reluctantly is lifted up to beside me before I cut him off with a finger to the lip and a shush. 

Frantically looking from side to side, I spot a hiding spot and rush to move us there. Tugging at Theo's arm once again, I pull him along with me to my wardrobe, grateful that there's actually a bit more space in it for us than usual because I'm due to do the laundry. 

"Surely it's not that big of a deal if Jess is home." he argues, far too loudly for my liking. I raise my finger to his lips once again to quieten him, which I'm sure he won't appreciate but is necessary.

"It's not Jess. It's Lexi." 

He eyebrows lift now in realisation, though his forehead is once again wrinkled after as more questions are raised in his mind. 

"I thought the door was locked?" he wonders, finally using a lower volume thankfully. 

"She has a key." I clarify as Lexi simultaneously calls out for me again.

"Did you know that she was coming over?" he questions.

"I knew that she was coming over today but she's not meant to be here for another three hours."

"Does she-" he begins before I stop him with a finger to his lip again as I hear the bathroom door right across the hallway open. I wait anxiously to try and hear if she will come this way, the seconds creeping by torturously slowly, until it seems that she has walked away. I am just about to remove my finger from Theo's lips and allow him to finish his sentence when the door to my bedroom suddenly opens. I feel myself unconsciously stiffen my whole body, straightening myself up as though that will magically ensure she doesn't detect us. The finger over Theo' lips now turns into my whole hand over his mouth in a desperate attempt to ensure he doesn't make a sound either. I don't even allow myself to breathe as yet another uncontrollable aspect of my attempt to hide, not letting myself let go of the breath I had been holding in until the sound of the door closing and the floorboard in the hallway creaking lets me know that she has left. 

Confident that we are in the clear, for now, I let that breath out and remove my hand from Theo's mouth. 

"I was going to say, does she ever call before she shows up? he asks, fortunately keeping a hushed tone too now. 

I don't blame his tone of slight frustration as there's certainly been a recurring theme of Lexi showing up at inconvenient times as of late. But I guess that's just the world's manipulative way of reminding us that the situation we are in right now and our meeting in the first place was all because of her. 

"Well, I never really had an issue with it before because I had nothing to hide. Now I've got at least one hundred and seventy pounds to hide and it matters a tad bit." I point out. 

"So what are we supposed to do? Just hide in here until she leaves. Surely not?" he asks incredulously, ultimately seeing me bite my lips with hesitation and realising the answer to that question. "We seriously have to hide in your wardrobe? Can't you just go out there, or can't we just reveal that I'm here? What's the big deal if she finds out I'm here?"

"No, we can not," I adamantly answer, attempting my best whisper-shout to get my point across, "If I go out there you'll probably be hiding out in here for hours and I can't risk you making a sound or her coming to my room and finding us. I'm certainly not bringing you out there and sharing everything with her either. This is staying between us. So, that leaves us both staying in here until she hopefully leaves."  

"What about if she doesn't leave? Maybe she'll just stay here until you come home from wherever you supposedly are." he argues, making valid points but still not able to convince me to adopt another strategy.

"She's not very patient. If no one is here she'll probably leave and go shopping or something. She doesn't really like to stay in the apartment alone much," I clarify in my attempt to ease his concerns and keep him hidden away in my wardrobe on his Saturday morning. He is looking away as I make my case with doubt clear across his face as he considers his options. I watch on anxiously as he processes the information available until he eventually tells me "fine" with reluctance evident in his tone, leading to a sigh of relief rushing out of me. 

As I begin to assess all the possibilities of this situation once again, questioning the what ifs and potential outcomes, Theo suddenly begins to move closer to me. I'm confused by his actions since you would think you'd want as much space as possible when trapped in close quarters like these. I mean, that's kind of what I want as the air continues to feel more sparse in here but I don't have it in me to push him away. I raise an eyebrow in question as a mischievous grin grows across his face and he wraps his arms around my waist. 

"What are you doing?" I question as he pulls me closer until our chests are firmly pressed against each other. 

"If we're stuck in here," he begins, tenderly placing his lips against spot after spot of my skin between each word, "then we should at least be able to entertain ourselves." 

As he whispers, the additional cool air required touches my skin causing goosebumps to rise across my body. 

"Theo-" I begin before it is his turn to stop me from continuing as he places a finger against my lips. 

"Shh," he says as he lifts his head from my chest, suddenly twisting my body around in his arms until my back is firm against his chest. "We're meant to be quiet. Remember?" he teases as his fingers delicately lift the hairs off of my left shoulder and shift them to the other shoulder to leave it exposed. 

Soon his tongue is swirling over the skin of my neck while my hands grip his hands where they are placed on my hips. The air in the wardrobe feels like it is evaporating by the second as it heats up in here and yet my concerns from seconds ago have also vaporised. Theo's hands leave mine as they begin to move over my stomach, shifting lower and lower until they are gliding over the rim of my leggings. 

"She could walk in again at any moment." I barely utter as I try to control both my voice and whole body while Theo's fingers tease the waistband of my leggings. 

"So?" he carelessly responds, easing one finger at a time under the fabric. 

Suddenly, before Theo can progress to a point of no return or answer me, we are interrupted by a chiming sound ringing through the room. Theo's hands and lips are frozen as I snap forward in alert. 

"Fuck!" I exclaim under my breath as I have an epiphany. 

"Is that–"

"My phone. Yep," I answer, coming to the same realisation as him, "I can't believe I forgot to put it on silent."

"Where is it?" He asks, frantically looking around the dimly lit wardrobe just as I am with his hands by his sides now.

Listening closer for the sound, I come to an answer to his question with the blood most likely draining from my face. "I think it's on my bed." I respond in dread. 

Immediately, I pull my body away from Theo's and shift it to the side, gently placing my hand on the wardrobe door as I prepare to ease it open. 

"What are you doing?" Theo questions, pulling at my arm to stop me. 

"I have to go get it and turn it on silent otherwise she'll hear it and she'll know something's up once she finds the phone and not me." I answer, shifting my gaze between him standing behind me and my room in search for an appearance from Lexi. 

"But she could hear it and come in here at any second." he argues.

"Or I can get to it before she does. If I leave it she's more likely to find us together. If she really does walk in then I can still do damage control if need be and convince her it's just me in here." I tell him, realising that I probably don't make much sense and that my arguments over the last couple of minutes are likely contradicting one another. 

"I need to go." I declare with finality, tugging my arm out of his grip and slowly opening the wardrobe to emerge. First looking towards the door once more to check that it is not opening, I tip-toe my way over to my bed where I swiftly push my bedsheets around until I find my phone underneath my sheets and switch it to silent. As I expected, it is Lexi who is calling me to presumably check where I am. With my phone in tow and on silent, I creep back to the wardrobe as quickly as I can, not entirely sure what to do next but go back into the wardrobe and plan our next steps together.  

With the wardrobe door eased shut and no sign of Lexi coming our way, I allow myself to check my phone; making sure to turn the brightness down in case she does come our way again. It has stopped ringing and soon vibrates as I get a notification that a voicemail message has been left by her. Looking at my phone too, Theo nudges his head with wide curious eyes encouraging me to listen to it. So, first checking that my volume is low, I lift my phone to our ears as I wait for the message to play out. 

"Hey Elle. I've just popped into your place cause I had some time to kill before we meet up but you're not here. Well, you obviously know you're not here. Anyways, give me a call back when you're free so maybe we can meet up. I'm just going to go shopping for a bit to kill some time so let me know if you want to join." she says just as I think I can hear her leaving and closing the apartment door. 

"Did I just hear what I think I did?" Theo immediately asks as I bring the phone down from our ears. 

"Her leaving?" I check, the hope still building in me.

"Yep." he confirms.

"I think you did." I answer with a grin growing on my face as I allow myself to slowly start feeling relieved.

Easing the wardrobe door open yet again, I tip-toe my way over to my bedroom door and tease it open too so that I can peek through for any sign of Lexi. With the coast seemingly clear, I make my way down the hallway and do a quick scan before I basically run back over to my bedroom and swiftly pull the wardrobe doors wide open in triumph. 

"She's gone." I announce with glee, expelling the built up air within me as the words spill out of me at a normal volume once again. 

Theo eagerly pushes the clothes aside and breaks free from the confines of the wardrobe. "Thank god! I really was worried for a second there that she'd stay here forever and have us trapped in there for who knows how long."

Standing before each other now with no Lexi around distracting me,  I now realise that we're both still topless. But, with the mood dramatically interrupted not once but twice it has left things sort of static. Ultimately though, I know what I need to do next. 

"I better get ready to meet up with her." I tell Theo, moving to go back to that damn wardrobe in search of something to wear to meet up with Lexi and so I'm not just walking around here still topless. 

"What's the rush?" He pulls me back towards him by my hip so that I spin into his arms. Looking down at me with those entrancing blue eyes and biting down on his lip, it is hard to resist him but the rational side of me ends up victorious. 

With a hand on his chest, I ease myself off of him as I reluctantly turn him down. "I should really get dressed and go meet up with Lexi." I explain, not looking up at his face so that I can't be entranced by him and whatever pleading expression he's got on. 

"I'm sure she'll be okay waiting for you a little longer," he attempts to assure me, "I don't need long." 

Chuckling at his cocky remark and the growing smirk on his face, which I would ordinarily find irritating, I step back from him and run my hand through my hair in exasperation as I weigh up everything before me. 

"I can't. If she doesn't hear from me soon she'll think something's up." I look down to my phone to read the message that's just come through from her telling me where exactly she is.

"She'll survive." he persists, trying to pull me back yet again. 

"I don't want her to worry or be waiting all by herself." I reason. Lexi needs me, more than I need to spend another half an hour hiding away with Theo like a pair of eager teenagers, so I really shouldn't keep her waiting. Right?

Defeated, Theo falls back on the bed with a dramatic sigh while I grab a sweater and quickly pull it over my head. As I prepare to go to the bathroom and fix up my hair and makeup, my foot gets caught in his jumper which is still lying on my bedroom floor. Kicking it up to my hands with my foot, because I am both lazy and talented, I throw it directly onto Theo's disgruntled face. 

"Hey!" he exclaims as I scurry off to the bathroom to flee from any retaliation. 

With little effort, I brush my hair and toss it into a ponytail before putting on a dash of concealer and mascara so I look less like I've been lounging in bed all day. With one last quick spray of deodorant and perfume, I sprint back over to my room and jump around the room as I try and slip on my socks and shoes all while looking around for my phone to message Lexi and let her know that I'll be there to meet up with her soon. 

"So, you're going to the company charity gala next weekend."

Turning around from the corner of my room where I had just come to check over my appearance  one last time in the mirror, I turn around to look at Theo with confusion following his random remark. 

"Oh, yeah," I reply, perplexed by the sudden mention of the gala, "I guess I am. How did you know?"

With a guilty look on his face, unable to look at me directly and instead fiddling with his phone in his hands, Theo reveals his source of information. 

"Damon sent you a message with the ticket," he explains, hands up in defence as he eventually looks in the direction of my phone lying face up on the bed beside him where I now remember I had thrown it. "I'm sorry I looked. I did it without thinking. It was just right there." 

I'm slightly irritated by him reading my messages but ultimately resign to the fact that I would have been tempted too if it had been right next to me. This is why people set their notifications so that the actual message doesn't appear on their lock screen, but I haven't exactly had anything  to hide until now. 

"Is that a problem?" I question, intrigued by what seems to be his discomfort in this situation. 

"Oh well," he begins, biting his lip in hesitation and looking away as though he is considering whether to proceed with what he was about to say, " I was just thinking of asking you whether you wanted to come with