The contents of my mind are still in disarray, with my thoughts being thrown around like the debris caught in a tornado, when the sound of the apartment door lock clicking attracts my attention. Looking up from the episode of Friends that is playing on the television, which I'm not actually focusing on but could probably still recite due to my numerous rewatch sessions, I find Jess looking around the room with surprise across her face.

"Woah, the apartment is freakishly clean." she tells me as she observes the largely decluttered room. And she probably thought that the state I had left the apartment in this morning was rather clean. "Oh, damn. What's got you stress cleaning this time?" she asks as her faces drops, realising the signs.

"Is it Lexi? Work? Your race car thingy not go good with Theo? What did Theo do?" she rambles as she moves to my side, eager like a dog sniffing for a bone.

"Theo didn't do anything Jess. It was all me." I reveal with a sigh, tightly embracing the pillow resting in my lap, while Charlie's head rests in my lap, as I look up guiltily at Jess.

"What do you mean? What'd you do?" she questions, taking her place on the other side of the couch next to Charlie. Somehow she still looks effortlessly stunning sitting here in her scrubs, even if she is drained after a long shift.

"I was judgmental and insensitive and just so unappreciative. We had such a great day and he did this really nice thing in planning it but I just had to just go ahead and screw it all up. I knew he was sensitive about his relationship with his father and his career and everything but I just acted like an idiot and went ahead pressing his buttons. And now I can't blame him for being angry with me or not wanting to see me." I explain.

"You're really impacted by this whole Theo thing right now, aren't you?" she wonders, eyebrows furrowed with curiosity as she observes me.

"I actually am." I confirm, running my fingers through Charlie's hair to try and distract myself.

She sighs as she seems to contemplate her next words.

"Could it be because you're actually starting to feel something for this guy?" she finally asks, without her usual teasing in her tone but rather genuine concern.

Now it is my turn to sigh as this common discussion makes its return to our conversation. I can't blame her. She doesn't even know about our little side activities during cooking today.

"Theo has just been a genuinely good friend lately and I hate that I've become the person who listens to gossip and hurts people." I tell her, with sincerity in this response.

Jess has always told me I'm too much of a people pleaser for my own good and, while this is true, I can also admit when I'm wrong. Because while she sees being a people pleaser as one of my downfalls, I can recognise being judgemental and pessimistic as some other negative qualities of mine. I expect the worse from people, sometimes rightfully so after being disappointed on numerous occasions, but this also prevents me from forming connections and memories. I've built myself up as a castle with walls soaring up high into the sky and a moat surrounding me, and so while I've been able to stop the negative things from reaching me I've also halted myself from escaping to better things. And now I've potentially found a better thing but I've forgotten that others just might have their walls up high and defence set up too, just like I do.

She watches me for a moment, as though she is assessing my response, but in the end just nods her head along to me.

"Just give him some time. I'm sure he'll cool off soon." she assures me, rubbing my arm where it rests on Charlie's back. I nod, but she sees right through me as the cogs and gears already begin turning in my brain. "You're not going to do that, are you?"

I question whether to lie and tell her that I will. But there's no point. She'll find out eventually when I come crawling back to get her help again.

"No, I'm not. But thanks for the advice." I tell her with an attempt at a smile to try and suck up to her. She chuckles under breath as I lean my head against the couch cushions with exhaustion.

"So, what are you going to do then?" she asks.

"I guess I just have to plead my case and try to make it up to him somehow- for the day he planned which I ruined, for being judgemental and nosy, for everything."

"Okay. How exactly do you plan on doing that?" she wonders.

I lift my head up off of the cushion now and sit up as I get an idea. I delicately lift Charlie's head from my lap, placing it softly back down onto the couch as I move to go grab my bag and keys.

"Where are you going now?" Jess asks incredulously, eyes flashing back and forth as I move around the apartment grabbing my things.

"To his apartment."

"Okay, wow. You really are not going to take my advice then. Don't you kind of have a bad track record at his apartment when you don't give things time to blow over?" she reminds me, trying to reason with me. Usually I would consider this logical point, but nothing is particularly logical when it comes to my interactions with Theo thus far.

I stop for a second to process her point, cocking my head to the side as I acknowledge the truth to her remark.  "Maybe. But I also know that the longer I let things stay this way, the more I'll stress myself out thinking about it and the greater chance he'll have to grow comfortable writing me off. He made the first move with today's plans and now I have to make the next move."

"Okay then. You go get that lover boy, girl!" she shouts out as I make my way to leave. The need to glare overcomes my desire to cringe at this moment as she stifles her laughter. "Sorry, I mean go get that friend, girl!"

And that is how I end up at Theo's apartment building yet again, sneaking into the building behind another person and making my way up the elevator to his apartment. This would be my third time visiting it by now and each time has certainly been memorable thus far. I exit the elevator and make my way over to his door, never forgetting which one it is now after learning which one was the 'cute plant' that sat by his door. I hesitantly lift my hand and knock. A few seconds pass and with no one opening the door and no sound to be heard I start to realise just how badly thought out this plan is. But then I hear the sound of footsteps, shortly followed by him calling out "just a moment!".

Once the locks can be heard clicking and the door opens, I can see the confusion which rests across Theo's face instantly shift to disapproval as he finds me waiting in front of his apartment door.

"Ella, what do you want?" he asks, not exactly sounding eager to see me. But he at least doesn't sound as though he is fuelled by anger, as he did the last time he saw me. Rather, he just simply sounds exhausted. So damn exhausted, and it makes me feel horrible to know that I've contributed to this in some way. His shoulders are slouched forward as he leans against the doorframe with no interest evident in his features. His hair is in a disarray, strands pointing in various directions, and he is no longer clad in his outfit from earlier today but instead in grey sweatpants and a black hoodie.

"I come in peace, and with a whole load of apologies." I pathetically tell him with an attempt to lighten the mood, to no response.

"Yeah, whatever Ella. I don't have the energy for this. You said what you really thought. No point pretending to take it back now." he says to me, hand resting on the edge of his door as he awaits the chance to close it on my face.

"Theo, I was wrong. So wrong-"

"Ella, I really don't need to listen to you trying to make yourself feel better. Because that's just what you're here for, isn't it?" he accuses.

I'm almost speechless at what is an incredibly direct Theo, the sweet talker that usually graces my presence clearly nowhere to be seen. However, I quickly adjust myself because I can't give up until I make my case.

"I'm here because I screwed up," I tell him frankly, "I was so out of place to try and think for a second that I knew even the slightest thing about what has happened in your life. I made assumptions and that was so not right, especially since I hate when people do the same to me. I may as well admit that I can be a bit judgy sometimes but I really am trying to pull back on it."

I notice Theo begin to open his mouth to rebut but stop him by continuing. "And I'm not trying to make excuses, except this really is going to sound like one, but I guess I just saw you getting down about the whole situation with this project and what started out as me trying to point out the bright side like I do with Lexi all the time ended up being me overstepping and reading things completely wrong. You're not a nineteen year old confused about life, you're a grown man who has worked hard to get where he is and have the right to be frustrated when people are trying to dictate your life or wrongfully misjudging you."

I know I'm rambling but I need to get all the thoughts that have been trapped in my mind out. They spill out of my mouth now like an overflown sink, blocking any response from Theo even if I'm clearly not doing any better as a listener if I still don't let him have a say.

"But Ella, is there really any point in you saying all this? It's great that you realised its wrong to judge people but all you did was expose what your true opinions were. And this isn't the first time you've done this. What's the point of us even being friends if no matter what I do you're quick to think the worst of me?" he argues.

I think I know what he's bringing up- it's something that Jess brought up too. The whole pregnancy reveal. I really messed up with that one.

"Look, I do realise that I was here not that long ago, asking for your forgiveness after making rash assumptions once before. I completely understand if you don't want to give me another chance this time around. But I just want to say that I really enjoyed our day together and you've been a great friend, despite how I never expected it, and it'd really suck if my stupidity ruined that. I can't change overnight but I'm trying." I plead.

I watch as it is his turn for the cogs to turn in his mind, assessing his options and me.

"You're not going to slap me again, are you?" he asks. A glimpse of his signature wry grin finally appears and I'm instantly relieved to see that I might be getting back on his good side.

"No, I've retired the bitch slap. Plus, I'm probably the one who deserve the slap this time." I answer truthfully.

"Don't worry, I'm not a bitch slap kind of guy." he reassures me with a soft chuckle under his breath.

It's always great when you find out that you're not going to get revenge slapped.

"And I can't really blame you about the assumptions now that  I really think about it. Some of them were true. I am a privileged guy and no matter if I did work hard for that or not, I'm certain there are people out there who are too but didn't get the chances that I did, whether it be because of their family, their wealth, their race or sex. I do need to acknowledge that more and not let what can only be described as "daddy issues" right now blur that." he explains.

"You still deserve the benefit of the doubt." I tell him. Everyone does.

He nods with what may be gratitude at my attempt at showing faith.

"So, what have you got there?" he asks, nudging his head in the direction of the paper bag that rests by my side. I raise the bag which is filled with various meals and open it for him to see.

"I thought maybe we could eat some take out and have some sushi, since I've never tried it before. You know, try cross off another thing on my list of things I've never done. It might give me a chance to also ask you some questions and actually give you a chance to tell your side of the story." I suggest.

"Wait, you've never had--" he begins in disbelief.

"Nope."

"What rock have you been living under?" he asks, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed with utter confusion.

"Well, I'm clearly not the most experimental gal around. Plus, I had a bad experience with sea weed once." I attempt to justify. "So, what do you say?"

He observes me with a degree of scepticism as he appears to assess his options. I'm almost wondering if he's going to send me on my way and close the door in my face, having had enough of me.

"So, where's this food then?" he asks, freeing me of these doubts as he moves his body off the door frame and to the side to let me through. I'm honestly still surprised he didn't close that same door on my face mere minutes ago.

"I've got enough here for a food coma. I don't really know how to buy an appropriate amount of food." I explain, with my tendency to prepare too much food being a habit I picked up from Baba.

I begin to make my way to the kitchen bench to lay out the contents of the bag. Theo follows behind, telling me with humour evident in his tone, "You do know that you can have sushi that's not wrapped in sea weed?"

I can just hear the cocky grin that's most likely spread from cheek to cheek, but I let it pass this time since it is at least a cue that things are going back to normal between us.

"Yes, I do." I answer, not bothering to justify my strange reasoning.

"Wow, you weren't kidding about buying too much." he remarks as he stands by my side at the kitchen bench to help me pull out item after item. "Sushi, spring rolls, noodles, fortune cookies. Did you buy out the shop?"

"I warned you. I don't know when to stop. I wanted a bit of everything." I feebly justify.

He chuckles as he shakes his head at me and asks, "Exactly how big do you think our stomachs are?"

As I pull out the last container, I tell him "We can always have it later as leftovers."

"Yeah, for the rest of the week apparently." he says, looking over the covered bench space incredulously.

"Nothing ever goes to waste in the Adams household. Just you watch. You won't have to throw anything away." I assure him, this being a life lesson I have long had instilled in me by my grandmother. "Anyways, where are we eating this?" I ask him, containers in hand.

"Here okay?" he asks, looking down at the bench where the food and stools are already awaiting.

"Yeah, here's fine." I answer as I take a seat at a bench stool while he moves towards the kitchen cupboards to pull out some plates.

"So, are we ripping the bandaid off and trying the sushi first or we waiting for it to be last?" he asks, laying out a plate in front of both of us. He takes a seat beside me, tucking in the black hoodie strings that dangle in front of him as he hovers over the food while assessing his options. It gives me a chance to truly appreciate the sight of Theo dressed so casually.

I've only seen him dressed like this once before; the time I came here to tell him off about Lexi being pregnant. While I, like many others, enjoy the sight of a man dressed to impress in his dress pants and button up top, there's something about seeing Theo in a hoodie and sweat pants like this that does something different for me. Maybe it's the contrast of the black against his oceanic eyes, or the way his sweatpants are revealed to rest low on his prominent hip bones when he does things like lift his arms to retrieve the plates from the cupboard. Or maybe it's how his hair is free of any products right now so that the waves of his hair of his relatively short hair are allowed to briefly appear.

"Ella?"

I blink as I break myself out of my trance like state, desperate to conceal what had distracted me. "Sorry, I was just thinking over everything there is to eat. But I think I'll go for the first option- rip off the bandaid." I finally answer, looking over all the containers of food again to pass off my story.

"Sushi. It is." he says, grabbing the container which holds the sushi with cucumber and tuna and opening it up for us. "Bon appetite."

He lifts a roll into the air as if to toast with the roll I have grabbed myself. "Here we go." I respond, hesitantly taking the first bite of the roll. I slowly chew the small piece, taking the time to absorb the taste and texture. Theo watches on eagerly with wide eyes, the hand which holds the roll he had grabbed for himself frozen in place as he observes me.

"So, what do you think? You ever going to eat it again or has it been banished from any future meals?" he enquires.

I swallow the piece in my mouth before I take a second, as though I am pondering, and then finally reveal the results- a little suspense never killing anybody.

"It's definitely something I'll be revisiting." I announce as move the sushi roll back to my mouth for another bite.

"Oh, thank god. I don't know if I could hang out with someone who doesn't like sushi." Theo teases, eyes wide as though with worry as he mockingly places his hand over his heart.

"Oh, shut up and eat your free food." I tell him, nudging my head towards the sushi roll still waiting in his hand for him to finally begin eating.

"Hey! You're supposed to be getting on my good side tonight, not being rude to me thank you very much. Remember, you were wrong. So wrong." he taunts, using my own words against me.

"Doesn't mean you get to be a dick." I jokingly point out, to which he responds with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders as he finally takes a bite out of his own sushi roll. "Since you mentioned the whole me being in the wrong thing, I can acknowledge that I've screwed up once or twice in not letting you tell your own side of things. So I'm going to try end my cycle right now and get the info straight from the source."

"Alright then, so throw some questions at me. What do you wanna know?" he asks, open to my proposal as he occupies himself by opening up the container of spring rolls.

"Okay, I'm going to jump straight into it. How did you end up working for your father?" I enquire, figuring I might as well tackle the giant right away.

He sighs now before he takes a deep breath in and begins. "Okay, but I'm gonna need alcohol for this discussion."

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Anyone else never try sushi? Also, would you have forgiven Ella if you were Theo? Do you think she was in the wrong?

Sorry for the lack of update but here is part one of what ended up as an over 9000 word chapter.

Vote/comment/share

TheFictionDreamer

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