I lay down and cuddle into my comforter as soon as my body hits the mattress.

 I toss and turn for about 25 minutes. 

Another 30 minutes

 Suddenly it hits me, I'm the only one awake. 

 I toss and turn for what feels like another hour,

"What the fuck" I say as I turn to my side.  I stare at my clock on my nightstand table, *5:15 am* "are you fucking kidding me." 

I can't get this shit out of my head. "Today is not the day." I hop up out of bed quickly and grab my air pods. I open my door and walk down the stairs, making my way to the front door, I open and shut it and walk towards the street. I put my air pods in and play music. I begin my jog. When I was younger, anytime I was bored my mom would make me go for a jog. It helps me clear my mind.. it also helps me feel better throughout the day and about myself. 

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As time went on, my jog turned into a sprint, and the sprint turned into a run. I check my watch *6:15 am* I stop and rest my hands against my knees while slouching over gasping for air. "Oh fuck, Ahh" I suck in a deep breath. "Come on" I remove my hands from my knees and rest them on the side walk below me. I lay down and throw my hands over my face. My heart is beating so fast, I can't breathe. "Fuck" This isn't a panic attacks by any means. My chest just hurts so bad from running. I continue to lay down for 15 minutes until my heartbeat calms down. This shit hurts, but in the long run it's good for me. Now that I can finally breathe at a decent rate, I stand up and make my way home.  

By the time i'm home it's *6:30 am* I quietly open the front door and shut it. Out of the corner of my eye I see Blake standing in the kitchen at the counter with a surprised look on his face. He's eating captain crunch cereal. "hey" I say "where were you?" He asks. I hesitate. "I went for a walk." I answer, I can tell he's still shirtless, he's just wearing a Nike tech zipped up over the small of his abdomen, he's also wearing his black joggers. "Looks like more of a run" he says staring at my tomato red face. I laughed. Suddenly I realize i'm in my bra still. I should've put some more appropriate clothing on but, well I don't know. I guess I was kind of amped up and just ready to go. I say as I walk towards the counter while crossing my arms trying to cover myself up a bit "You haven't slept?" Blake asks. while unzipping his Nike tech.

 He pulls his jacket off and slides it across the counter to me without making a big deal out of it. He looks towards me to see i'm confused, he widens his eyes and points to the jacket with his eyes. "Thanks" I shake my head. "Couldn't...you?" I grab his Nike tech from the counter and throw it on. I can never sleep at night. I don't like the idea of everyone being asleep and me by myself.. just in case something was to happen. 

"Yeah, I slept for like 3 hours, woke up and now I can't get back to sleep." Blake answers as I grab some orange juice out of the fridge. "Want some oj?" I ask. Blake nods his head as he moves his cup over towards me. I pour a full cup for him. "Do you go on runs alot?" He asks while I put the oj away and take a seat directly across from him. "uh, really only when I have a lot on my mind I guess."

"What's on your mind" He asks while looking directly at me. I Think for a moment. This is going to be fun. "Well, you see there's this guy." I smile as Blake's eyes widen, he looks nervous "Oh really?" he asks. "Yeah" I press my tongue to the side of my cheek. "I think he's like in love with me or something.. he's kinda obsessed with me"I state while making direct eye contact with him "Oh really?" Blake asks while smirking. "yeah, I just don't really understand him" 

"So how do you feel about this guy?" He asks, "Oh, well I mean. He's decent." I shrug while smiling. Blake laughs. "I guess he's kind of nice, He can weird sometimes." "Oh really?" Blake laughs "How so?" I smirk "Well, sometimes I just catch him staring at me" I answer as Blake shifts in his seat pressing his elbow to the counter and his hand to his face. Blake scoffs then just stares at me, I do the same.

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We sat in the kitchen for about an hour just talking. Honestly, I forgot he was here. I should have just went to his room to hang out with him. Eventually we stop talking, "Are you okay?" Blake asks to end the silence. "Yeah" He stares at me waiting. I think about what he said while we were playing the game.

"You don't let people in."

"You act like you don't need anyone, but in reality..you're just lonely."

I look towards Blake to see that he's waiting

"I just.. I don't know. This is hard for me Blake." I answer, "What, what's hard?" He asks as he shifts in his seat. "I can't just open up like other people." I answer "Is this about what I said during the game?" He asks while moving his attention away from me and towards the kitchen counter.

"You don't let people in."

"You act like you don't need anyone, but in really..your just lonely."

"I wasn't trying to be a jackass Emma. I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight. I just want you to know i'm here. I want to help you. I want you to know you can talk to me."

I take a deep breath.

"I don't like when people know stuff about me, I don't want them to treat me..different." I answer.

"Just tell me Em" He says

I shift in my seat and my chest flutters. I look at Blake as he looks as me. 

"I don't like being alone. I can't take it. I don't like knowing that I'm alone in my room and everyone else is sleeping. What if something was to happen?" There's silence for a moment. 

"Before my dad died it was just me and him. Mom was out of town and Issac was at a friend's house. We'd been up all night hanging out, but then I got tired. I said 'good night dad' and went to my room to go to sleep..." I shift in my seat and let out a deep breath. "I woke up to the sound of a gun shot...I got up out of my bed and ran to find someone. before I made my way around the stairs I saw 3 men dressed in black leaving the house in a rush."

"I walked down the stairs to find that the kitchen and living room was trashed. I heard someone groaning, I made my way around the counter to find him. lying on the floor." I squint my eyes, "And well, you know what ended up happening."

"I didn't know you were the one who found him..." Blake says. We stay silent for a moment. "That's why your scared to fall asleep at night? Your afraid Somethings going to happen while your sleeping?" Blake looks at me.

I pull my knees up to my chest and press my hand against my mouth as I begin to chew on my finger nails. 

"Yeah, I just." I clear my throat. "I don't like knowing I'm the only one awake. It's a lot of pressure. and I just.. I can't. I can't handle it and then I just get so many thoughts in my head and they wont go away. They never  go away. Blake gets up and moves to the seat next to me. I'm still chewing on my nails. "No look, We don't have to do this, I'm fine. We don't have to do this." Blake doesn't seem to care when he scoots his chair closer to mine and pulls me into a hug. My skin heats as soon as we touch. My heart throbs for Blake. 

"I'm always here Emma, Always." I suck in a deep breath as I nuzzle my face into Blake neck. He caresses my back slowly. "Always" He states once more. oh my gosh. This boy. I just melt whenever he's near me. Oh my gosh. I stay in his arms for about a minute. As I pull away from Blake I trace my hand over his arm, once I get to his hand I squeeze it.

"Anytime you need to talk or just hangout, you can come to my room, I'm normally awake late" Blake stops and thinks for a moment. "You know what" Blake laughs. "Just knock on the wall 2x, we share a wall and our beds are right up against it. Knock 2x to see if I'm awake, and I'll reply with 2 knocks to answer." Blake smiles. "yeah" I smile "That's a great idea."  "If you need me, Knock 3x" He smiles. "Thank you Blake." "Always " Blake says as he nudges my shoulder. 

"Your mom gets home at 9?" I nod my head and look at the clock. *7:15 am* "Well, what should we do for the next 2 hours?" Blake asks. "You..." I emphasize "Are going to sleep...I am going to take a shower." I laugh. Blake smiles. I get up from the stool and take my dish to the sink. "Night Blake" I say as I breeze past him and squeeze his forearm. "Night." He says, out of the corner of my eye I can see Blake watching me walk up the stairs.