Did you know that if you have a backpack and walk around a university like you belong, no one will kick you out? I didn't know that until I actually started doing it.

I don't technically attend Metropolitan University, but I love learning new things and I have nothing better to do with my time. It keeps me distracted. It's all the best of peaceful learning without the hassle of tuition, and no stress of homework or exams. I may not get a degree but I honestly won't need one. It's a win-win-win. 

I sat in the class I've been sneaking into all semester, waiting for the professor to begin lecturing when I glanced at the door and saw more students flooding in before the scheduled time. I had to do a double take when I saw Officer Hanson walk through the door too.

My eyes squinted at him, trying to figure out if it was really him, but as he got closer to my seat, there was no doubt in my mind. Even though his hair was striped of product and now it was handsomely brushed out and fluffy, I would recognize him anywhere.

What is he doing here?

Hanson settled in his seat, just a couple of rows in front of me. I don't think he realized I was there. Would he recognize me from the other night? I'm sure I'm not the only dumbass he has pulled over this week. There was no way I could not let him know.

I anxiously waited for the class to end so I could go up to him. As soon as we were dismissed, Tom began packing his notebooks but I was slightly faster. I silently followed him out to the hallway, and when I caught up to him, I tapped his shoulder.

Hanson turned around and his eyes grew wide and I saw his breath halt in his throat. He definitely recognized me. I hid my smirk by sassily asking, "so... is pulling people over just a side hustle for you?"

"Vivien," he gasped and pulled me aside. The fact that he remembered my name and my face brought all the blood into my head. He looked over his shoulder and adjusted his backpack before he said, "you didn't see me."

"But I do. You're right here," I said and looked him up and down.

"I'm here, but I'm not here."

"You might have to be a little more clear," I said, now I was slightly confused.

He sighed and said in a low voice, "so, you know I'm a cop..."

"Right. We established that last night. Remember? When you ticketed me?"

"I'm on an assignment. I... am under cover." He whispered the last word. I could barely hear him.

"Oh, like Beverly Hills Cop?" I asked.

He nodded. "Something like that. Please don't tell anyone."

I chuckled and said, "you gave me a speeding ticket last night. I think if I am to keep your secret... you'll have to take me out to dinner tonight."

He thought for a moment before he asked, "would you like me to pick you up, or do you want to pick me up with that convertible you stole last week?"

My blood drained from my face and my arms fell limp at my sides. I could have thrown up right then and there. How did he find out about that? When did he find out about that?"

His smile was cynical. "Yeah, I know about that."

"Why don't you pick me up?" I suggested without admitting that he was right.

"That's a good idea."

"Great," I said with a fake smile plastered across my features. I dropped my bag and pulled out a piece of paper and my pen so I could quickly write down my address for him. When I handed him the paper I said, "so, what do I call you?"

"Tom."

"Tom? Is that a real name or—"

"Tom is my real name."

"Great, Tom." I smiled at him. "I'll see you tonight at six."

I walked off to the next lecture I wanted to sneak into, leaving Tom in the hallway. He probably has to go to his next class. I was slightly curious as to what he was undercover for, but I didn't care enough to ask.

I just went to a couple more lectures before I decided to go home. I rummaged through my closet and I changed into a plain black shirt for my dinner with Tom. It's an easy color to wear, so I kept my jeans on. Maybe I can try to talk him into not snitching on me for the car.

I live in a quaint little house on the edge of town, in a small neighborhood. I spent the summer enhancing the garden in the backyard that the old owners left behind with lovely roses and delicate peonies, just trying to make it a beautiful home that I can call mine. It's not common for people my age to have a home to themselves, but I saved up enough money... so why not?

There was a knock at the front door, so I opened it and Tom was standing there. He was clad in a nice black jacket, but dressed it down with denim jeans. He licked his lips as his dark eyes trailed up to mine. He smiled gently and let out a little nervous chuckle before he said, "you look great."

"You too," I said.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah." I made sure I had some cash in my pocket and my keys in my hand before I closed the front door and locked it. I tested the door and walked next to Tom to his car. His car looked pretty sweet, and it was easy to tell that it was a Mustang.

"Nice wheels," I complimented.

"Thanks, it was my pops."

"Where are you gonna take me in pops' car?" I asked.

Tom opened the door for me and said, "I was thinking burgers."

"I think you read my mind," I chuckled and slipped into the seat.

Tom closed the door and walked around the car to hop into the drivers seat. He drove us to Garfield's, a hamburger place in town that everyone raves about. They don't have a drive thru, so we walked up to the outdoor counter to order and then we took our bags to the car.

Once we were both inside, Tom locked the doors and we began to dig into our meals. I decided to make small talk by asking, "so, tell me about your job."

"I'm just a police officer."

Yeah, I gathered that.

"Must be a little more than that if you're going undercover at universities."

He chuckled and said, "yeah, um... we go undercover to different schools in the area. We look for illegal activities like drug deals, kids stealing, vandalism, things like that."

"Oh, that actually sounds pretty cool," I said as I pulled out my food to set the containers on my lap.

He shrugged. "It's all right, I guess."

"You don't seem very happy," I stated and took a bite of my burger. I may not know him at all, but I'm pretty good at reading people.

"It's fine for now. I just want to do something more, ya know? It's been a while since I've been on patrol, but last night I was covering someone's shift. Technically I'm not supposed to but I just wanted to get back into it one last time," he said and took a bite of his own.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know in when I find out."

I liked the fact that he's an undercover cop more. Cops had always rubbed me the wrong way, but there was something about him that was different. I took another bite of my burger and brought the burger away in slight disgust. I lifted the top bun up and noticed pickles over my patty.

Tom noticed and he asked, "you don't like pickles?"

"No, not really," I said. My lips were still flexed from the bitter taste of the pickle.

He opened his burger and said, "give 'em to me."

I plucked the pickle slices off my burger and put it onto his. We closed our burgers at the same time and continued to eat.

With his mouth full he asked, "what about you? What's your story?"

And what a story it is. I don't have the time, patience, or the desire to unpack it all for him. I'll probably never see him again after tonight, so I don't need to lay out everything about my personal life to this poor man. He doesn't deserve that.

"I grew up down in Florida. I didn't really find what I was looking for over there so I decided to come up here to Evergreen State," I said to keep it vague.

"What are you looking for?" He asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I'll know it when I find it."

"I'm guessing it wasn't the '84 Dodge?"

I sighed defeatedly, "how did you find out?"

"The moment I ran the plates. It was reported stolen about a week ago. Care to tell me about it?"

I sighed softly and blew a raspberry between my lips. This is not looking good for me. I'll probably be spending the rest of my life in jail for this, and there was nothing I could do but accept it.

"Do I answer to you as a cop or as a friend?"

He thought for a moment before he said, "a friend."

"My car was stolen and I needed something to get around in," I said. And it was true, my car was stolen and out of retaliation, I stole someone else's car. I felt bad about it at first, but they'll get it back eventually. Besides, stealing was kind of thrilling.

"Why didn't you call the cops?" He asked.

"I did, and they said that they couldn't do anything about it."

"That's horseshit."

"I agree, but it's whatever." I shrugged and took another bite.

Tom sighed and after a moment he mumbled, "I didn't make the report, you know."

"What?" I asked, looking over at him.

"When I saw that the car was stolen, I didn't submit the report. No one is out to get you, or anything."

I was shocked. I really thought I was going to be on some sort of list and by morning I'd be waking up on a steel bench with dark ink over my fingertips. For a minute I thought that maybe this was all a trap that I accidentally set up for myself and officers were silently surrounding us as we talked. 

"Why?" I asked out of genuine curiosity. He had every right to send me to jail and be fined for stealing that car. Why didn't he?

He shrugged. "I don't know really."

I mumbled gratefully, "thanks."

"Don't mention it. And don't get pulled over again because I won't be able to save your ass twice," Tom chuckled. Then he crumpled up his burger wrapper and tossed it in his bag. He settled into his seat, his belly full of fried foods and he asked, "are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said and wiped some sauce that leaked onto my hand with a napkin.

We talked a little more on the way home, and I got even more comfortable with him. It was hard to look away from him. He radiated with genuine kindness. There's just something about him that I felt so drawn to. And from the way he smiled at me, I think he felt that connection too.

Tom parked outside my house, but I wasn't ready for our little date to end. However, I was starting to get a headache so I guess the timing was right.

"I'll walk you to your door," Tom offered.

I wish, but I had to stop him. "No, it's okay. Just try not to watch me walk away, all right?"

He chuckled, "okay."

"Good night, thank you," I said and started to get out of the car.

"Good night."

I smiled at him as I closed the door and began my walk up to my front door, but then I heard the car door close behind me and Tom's footsteps running up to me. I looked over my shoulder at him and chuckled, "couldn't resist, huh?"

"I suppose not," he chuckled and bashfully looked down at his feet.

I looked down and saw that his hand looked lonely. I laced my fingers with his, and his head snapped down at our hands before shooting back up to my eyes. A goofy closed-mouth grin spread across his face. The shaky exhale through his nose told me that he was trying not to chuckle. I think he liked it.

"This okay?" I asked with my eyebrows raised.

"Oh—uh—yeah, it's good." He smiled and looked down at his shoes.

I giggled and we slowly walked up to my front door. I think we walked slow because we both knew that once we reached the door, the night was over. I waited until we were on my doormat before I dug into my pocket for my keys and I unlocked the door with one hand. I would have invited him inside, but there was a throbbing pain on the side of my head that was pulsing through my brain. I've been getting these terrible headaches frequently, and I knew that it wasn't going to go away on its own.

I tuned to face Tom and said, "thank you for dinner, I had a great time."

"Me too. Will I see you tomorrow?"

I beamed up at him. "Yeah, I think so."

Tom leaned forward and gave me a goodnight kiss. It was just a peck, but my heart soared up into the diamond sky. My face grew hot and I forgot about my headache for a moment. His hand still held mine, and when he pulled away he said, "good night."

"Good night."

"Good night."

Tom's hand slipped from mine as he trotted down the steps of my porch and began his walk back to his car. He kept looking over his shoulder at me, so I gave him a little wave with my fingers. I saw him smile in the dark, and he nearly tripped over his own two feet. My hand covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing with him, and I slinked back into my home and shut the door.

I locked it and rested my back against the door. He could be the perfect distraction that I needed. Ever since I moved, I felt like something was missing but that void felt filled for the first time when I was in that car. He could be something I never knew I needed. I turned the lights on to the porch. I always keep my lights on whenever I'm home. It's an old habit.

I heard the Mustang roar to life and take off down the street, and I sighed dreamily. He is as cute as the day is long, and he is incredibly amiable and very softhearted. Such a tender, gentle soul. I just spent an evening with him, and I already missed him. A total stranger.

What has gotten into me?

Suddenly, my chest began to cramp and I started coughing. I was unable to catch my breath as my stomach tightened. Not again. I raced to the bathroom and saw how red and swollen my face was getting. I leaned over the sink and continued the vicious hacking that I was more than used to. The white porcelain was getting decorated with red splatters of blood that was coming up from my lungs. This has been happening a lot more recently, which isn't a good sign. I was running out of time.

Once I caught my breath, I washed my hands and rinsed out my mouth. I spit into the sink, my mix of spit and water was red from the blood. I continued to swish water in my mouth until the water came out clear, and then I opened my medicine cabinet.

All I have are these pills to make me feel more comfortable. They help some, but not enough. I didn't want to deal with all the appointments, the side effects, the surgeries, the experimental and invasive treatment... draining every ounce of happiness, energy, and peace I have left. All just to extend my lifespan by just another few months. All of this overwhelming pain just wasn't worth it to me.

After I washed my face, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I still could see me. A twenty-two year old woman, with hopeful eyes that were slowly losing their light. I've noticed that my skin has started to get dull lately, and my hair isn't quite as healthy and full as it used to be. My under eye circles have darkened, but it's nothing a little makeup can't hide.

It started with a few frequent fevers and I was having persistent fatigue. It didn't matter how much sleep I was getting, or what I did that day. I was getting nosebleeds, and it wasn't until I started getting unexplainable red spots on my skin did I go to the doctor. I almost wish I didn't. I think I would have rather lived in blissful ignorance than the knowledge that my precious time on this beautiful earth was coming to an end.

And there is nothing I can do about it.