You guys are so inconsistent with voting lol. Would be cool if you vote for this chapter and the last one if you haven't done so already :)

:: 33 :: FRI, June 27, 2014

"Jaylene Adrianne Irwin"

What?

Oh shit, that's me. Almost stumbling my way on stage, I rushed to meet with my principal who had my diploma in her hand.

I always thought my graduation day would be more anticipating. It wasn't.

Monday - rather Tuesday at 1 am, I came home. I didn't have to worry about anyone in the subway stations raping or kidnapping me because even the homeless were afraid of how I looked. Before entering my house, I took the liberty to fix myself up assuming my Mom would still be awake, waiting for me to get home and I was right.

It was dark in the living room so my Mom didn't see me clearly, which was a good thing. Masking my tone, I succeeded in sounding happy somehow.

Everyone asked about Luke the few days after Prom and I had to make up some lie about his family, telling they were having some issues and couldn't see me for awhile. I didn't tell them the truth. I didn't want to nor could I. I wasn't that cruel. Everything was just settling, I couldn't ruin it like that. I bet that's what Luke thought would be best too.

When I walked up the stage to receive my diploma, heard my name broadcasted from the big speakers, shook my principal's hand and some other associates' - before I walked down I couldn't help but look far in the sea of faces. I found my Mom with Ashton and the Hood family not so far from the where I stood. She waved and Ashton put two thumbs up. There was an empty seat beside them, my Dad could have been there but he wasn't.

Collecting myself, I hurried down the stairs and back to my seat. I clenched my hand around my diploma and felt tears fall.

I've been having nightmares. Terrible, terrible nightmares.

I think I was about to lose my mind when I started hearing my Dad's voice echoing in my head. Twisting my head around, all I could see was his face - all bloodied and damaged after hearing reoccurring truck horns and breaking glass.

"Jaylene, is it?" Alarmed, I stopped fidgeting and looked down on the hand rested on top of mine.

"Yeah?" I asked, breathing in and out. The girl beside me cocked an eyebrow when she spoke, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I laughed. She let go of my hand and sunk back in her seat.

I've never learned her name. This girl had been with me in the same school for four years and I've never knew her before.

"I'm sorry, I know this isn't the best time to make friends but what's your name?" I spoke to her. Her green eyes creased as she pushed her ginger red bangs away.

"I'm Claire Irvine." She introduced, putting a hand out which I shook.

"Jaylene Irwin but call me Jay." I said over the loud speakers that were dictating one name after another.

"I know. I think everyone does. I'm sorry about your Dad." She said, smiling crookedly.

"It's okay. He's somewhere better now." I gulped hoarsely.

"Find me after the ceremony, okay? I'll be around." There was something in the way she spoke and acted that made me want to be friends with her but suddenly, I was cryptic. The last time I said that about someone was Luke.

"I- I will." I smiled and returned my attention to the man behind the podium as he finished with the long list of graduates.

-

"Well you did it!" My mom chirped, pulling me into another long hug. "I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry this year wasn't easy for you and all of us but here you are, graduate."

"Yeah I did! Can I meet you guys in the car? I just have to look for someone." Looking over her shoulder, I tried searching for the redhead named Claire.

"Are you looking for Dylan? Oh, Mr. Hood invited her family and ours for lunch. You'll see her there!" My mom smiled as I took off my cap and passed it to her.

The lunch. I forgot about that. Ever since Calum's parents found out I was already dating someone, they kind of cooled down with the random gifts.

"No, I just have to look for somebody. I'll be right back." I said.

Before she could say anything else, I walked away. My diploma still in my hands and my gown still loosely worn on me.

"Jay!" A voice called out. I had to be the only Jay in this school, right? But I didn't want to look like an idiot so I didn't turn around.

"Jay Irwin!" It hollered again. Now I'm positive it's me.

Dylan came parading across the open space, keeping her cap in place on her head. Behind her was Calum.

I opened my arms and she ran right in them. Squeezing her tightly, I let go and fell in Calum's.

"We made it." Dylan cheered, jumping up an down.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? My high school experience had been nothing but average except this last year." I told her, still gripping on my diploma.

"Not everyone could make it this far, Jay." Calum interrupted.

"Fine, I rest my case." Putting my hands up in surrender, we all started laughing.

Calum put his arms around me and Dylan as he sighed, "It seems like just yesterday we walked through those doors. Do you remember when Jay walked in the boys' locker room on the first day?"

I released myself from his hold and looked at him confusingly, "Calum, we just met you this year. What are you talking about? That never happened, by the way!"

Meeting Calum had to be the second only good outcome of my father's death - first being Luke. That's what it was originally. Frankly, I don't know anymore.

"I know, I just always wanted to say that." He said excitedly.

"Don't you find it completely odd how Calum just left his old friends for us?" Dylan pointed out.

"I didn't have any real friends. Everyone wanted to be friends with the rich kid and I've been used a lot of times so I became that loner who eats in the back of the cafeteria - "

" - being fed lobster by his butler?" I joked.

"That's not the point. You two have been my best friends, my only true ones as hard as it is to believe." Calum continued.

We stopped walking around a bit and just stared at each other, me and Dylan especially. I've known this girl since I was ten. If I didn't walk in her sharing an ice cream cone with Jasper, then we wouldn't have ever met - possibly.

Everything happened for a reason and everything will happen for a reason. I just wished that reason was up to me.

"Okay, I've seen this in movies. I think this is the part where we start dancing and singing then we jump at the end." Calum broke the silence, putting his hands out as he started showing off terrible dance moves.

"This isn't High School Musical, Cal. I think this is the part where we start crying and telling each other how much we're going to miss one another." Dylan said, pouting her lips almost as if she was about to cry.

"Dyl, you'll just be a state away. University of Connecticut, right?" I comforted her when she fell in my arms again.

"But you suck because Jay and I will be in NYU together." Calum mocked, sticking a tongue out. I shot him a look.

"I know but it wouldn't be the same. Jay, I see you everyday in school - elementary to high school. I'm just going to miss that." She stammered, I could hear her voice fall faintly.

Calum decided to join in and wrap his muscular, tan arms around both of us. "We still have the lunch today and the rest of the summer. Connecticut is just a three hour drive away. We'll all still see each other."

I miserably slipped out of their grasp and crossed my arms. "Damn it, why can't you two just date already?"

They pulled away from each other and awkwardly shook their heads simultaneously.

"Calum is like a brother to me."

"I'm too occupied in my studies for dating."

I rolled my eyes.

"Enough about our pathetic, non-existent love lives - how are you and Luke? You never really talked about the prom. Isn't it his graduation day today too?" Dylan bombarded me with questions and suddenly all eyes were on me again.

Daintily tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I cleared my throat to speak. "It was fun and yeah. He's graduating with honors I think. Smart kid. Always has been."

I watched them exchange looks, "Oh-kay?" Dylan narrowed her eyes.

"Anyways, will I see you two at lunch? My parents invited your families, right?" Clapping his hands, Calum asked us.

Dylan quickly answered, "Definitely. My parents are excited. You don't mind if I drag my little brother along, right?"

"Manny? Not at all!" Calum chuckled. "How about you, Jay?"

"I don't know, Cal. I might visit Dad first." Licking my lips, I pinched on the bridge of my nose.

"I understand." His voice drifted away. Gazing passed his shoulders, I caught my eyes on the known redhead just awhile ago. Claire was with what looked like her parents and she seemed like she was searching for me as well.

"You know what? I'll be there. I just have to talk to someone for a bit. See you guys later." Then I paced myself passed them and caught up with Claire.

"Claire! Wait!" I yelled. Her head spun and she smiled as soon as she saw me. I stopped running when I finally stood in front of her.

Catching my breath, I struggled to speak. "I found you."

Her short hair was blown by the humid wind so she collected her hair in her hand. "Yeah, you did." She fished for something in her shoulder bag and revealed her phone. Extending her arm, her sleeve fell back then revealing a black, plastic bracelet. It looked familiar as if I've seen it before.

"Put in your number then maybe we can hang out sometimes. You seem cool." She chuckled, her voice distracting me from her bracelet.

"Sure and thanks. I think I've seen you around but never had classes with you. I feel bad we only met now." I took the phone from her hand and dialed in my number and saved it in her contacts. "Claire, where did you get that bracelet?"

Giving her back her phone, an older woman with the same hair tapped Claire's shoulder and told her it was time to go. "I'll tell you another time. I'll just message you or something. Congratulations on the graduation, Jay! See you!"

They looked like they were in a hurry so I didn't bother anymore. I waved back and left to look for my own family instead.

-

"Can I just have a couple of minutes with Dad? I won't take long." I looked back at Ashton and Mom standing behind me. They nodded their heads, understanding I needed this more than anything at the moment.

"We'll be in the car." Mom waved then left with Ashton tagging behind her.

I fell on my knees, my dress covering my thighs and enveloping the back of my legs. Tracing the engraved words on the tombstone, I started crying again - something I've been quite fond of a lot lately.

The last time I've been here, I introduced Luke to my Dad as my boyfriend. Now, I came to apologize for introducing his killer instead.

"If only I knew, Dad. I'm sorry I've been so stupid. That night when the accident played in my head in my dreams, maybe it was a sign. You were telling me even then that Luke had something to do with the accident. That was the same night I told him I loved him for the very first time. I'm so sorry. I didn't know." I whispered, covering my face with my hands as I bent forward to meet my lap.

I felt a cold draft touch the nape of my neck, quickly sending shivers down my spine - which was weird in the summer breeze. I felt like my Dad was here with me. His presence was so strong. He used to always do that - rub the nape of my neck to comfort me.

"I just don't know what to do, Dad. It's graduation day, I'm supposed to be happy because I made you proud but I'm here crying. I'm sorry I was so naive. I haven't told anyone yet. I don't know if I should. I'm sure Luke and Michael didn't want any of this to happen but what hurt was that they kept it from me and lied to me. It just hurts to be betrayed and left again. I already love him, Dad. I was so sure." I said to him, shaking my head as my palms pressed between my lap and cheeks, catching teardrops as they fell as if they were fishes in a pond.

"I don't know if I should tell someone or not. It's not like I can just keep it to myself. I'll go crazy if I do." I wept, still feeling a draft like it was a hand on my neck, rubbing it gently. "I already think I am mad, actually. Dad, if you're listening - what should I do?" But there wasn't any reply. "Should Mom reopen the case? I don't want anyone hurt though. I'm not that cruel. I guess I'm still astonished and I only want your passing to be justified."

A part of me wanted to get up and leave but the other half wanted me to stay and hope something would happen but nothing did.

"They were cowards though. They didn't confess to their fault right away. Shouldn't it be right if they get punished? But I don't want them thrown in jail. It's called an accident for a reason. What do you think, Dad?" I realized I've been staring at the tombstone, talking to it for not less than five minutes already.

"God, I'm pathetic. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything and that I'm choosing to keep the truth to myself for awhile. I'm just really confused and broken emotionally and mentally." Then I stood up, drying my tears. I patted my dress and bowed my head. "I just wish you were here. I miss you so much. You didn't deserve any of this to happen to you. We're all just victims in this game of chance. We're all just bets gambled in this casino called life."

Without saying another word, I left with my mind still boggling with questions, regrets and memories. I couldn't fight this battle alone. As much as I've convinced myself that I would keep the truth under my hat, I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

I got on the backseat of the car and didn't say anything. Pulling my phone out from my bag beside me, I saw an unread text.

From: Unknown Number

Hi, Jaylene. Idk I think it's a pretty name so I hope you don't mind if I call you that instead of Jay :) it's Claire, the ginger awhile ago lol. so yeah hmu whenever!

I smiled, reading it.

Maybe this was what I needed. A fresh start. A new page. A new friend. Someone completely off the map, had nothing to do with any of this and wouldn't remind me of any of this either.

Maybe Claire would be my one escape.

❆

(A/N): hi im sofia and i like froyo and teen wolf. hbu

Question of the day: Should Michael and Luke be punished for their faults?

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