Clementine swims around her cup of water frantic, rapid circles.

Tommy sighs, " Clementine , please calm down."

She swims faster.

"Tubbo?" Tommy calls out, "I think Clementine needs a bigger cup, actually maybe a bowl? No wait - we need a tank. How about an aquarium in the wall?"

Tubbo's fingers still on the keyboard. He spins around on his spinny chair to face the blonde, an expression of deep, deep , exasperation.

"Put her in a cereal bowl or some shit, do you think we have money to buy a tank? We ate instant noodles for dinner."

Tommy glances down at Clementine. She swims so fast. So fast . "I've got an idea," He's a bit offended that Tubbo rolls his eyes, "No, just - just listen, so like what if, what if we save the money we use on food, to buy a tank for Clementine."

Tubbo turns back to the computer, seemingly ignoring him.

"Come on, think about it. We can survive a few days. I swear we have some of those Coco Pop bars somewhere, they're probably not even out of date. Come on big man, just - just look at Clementine and tell me you want to see her swim around this for eternity."

Tubbo is playing Slither.io. That game is so old.

"Tubs, just come on man, look at her." Tommy stands up, porcelain mug in hand and shoves the thing into Tubbo's face. Water spills out over the edge and onto the keyboard.

Tubbo slaps the mug away with a glare, standing up to find paper towels. "I don't like Clementine."

Tommy yelps as the mug shakes, wrapping both hands around it as he peers down at the fish in worry. "I'm sorry my child."

Tubbo reappears with a cloth - he must've remembered they ran out of paper towels like two weeks ago. Tommy stares at him intensely.

Tubbo sighs, "Tommy we are not starving ourselves for a dumb fish ."

Tommy gasps, " Clementine , is not a fucking dumb fish. She is a miracle, a blessing, a gift from the gods themselves. She appeared in our lives for a reason Tubbo and I'm disappointed you can't see that. I hope you reach enlightenment."

Tubbo stares at him for a moment and then grimaces, like, like just looking at Tommy is difficult for him.

"Why do you even say it like that?"

Tommy frowns, "Say what?"

"Clementine."

"I say it like you say it, Clementine. "

"No I said Clementine."

" ...Yeah, that's what I fucking said. Clementine."

" No, I said Clementine. You said Clementine."

"Literally, what the fuck are you talking about."

Tubbo runs a hand down his face, "Just - just forget it."

Tommy just frowns. He glances down at Clementine and shrugs, "He's a bit weirdchamp."

"Tommy shut the fuck up, Jesus . Why don't you go outside and touch some grass, you are talking to a fish."

" Clementine," He corrects.

"Tommy please leave, go for a walk, breathe in some fresh air and come back without that fish."

Absolutely fucking not. Clementine is his day one, his buddy, his amigo, his soulmate.

Tubbo is insane, clearly.

Tommy snorts, "Okay, yeah that's not happening. I don't know why you won't accept her into the family, but she's not leaving because you're jealous."

Tubbo lets out a shout of frustration, "I can't do this. I can't do this ." He whispers to himself, like a madman. Honestly, Tommy should book him a therapy session, he's clearly got middle child vibes going on.

Tubbo turns to him, eyes firm. "Y'know what nope. I'm not allowing this. You're going to go out, you're going to take that fucking fish and you're going to put it back in whatever fucking lump of water you bloody found it in. And you're going to come home without it. Do you understand?"

Tommy goes to protest but he decides to do what is called a Pro Gamer Move™️ .

He sighs in disappointment, looking down at Clementine sadly. "For fucksake, fine. I'll return Clementine." He concedes.

Tubbo lets out a sigh of relief and slumps back into his spinny chair. "Thank you," He breathes out, sanity returning. "I'm sorry about the fish, but it just isn't going to work out. You get it right? We're literally living off of the bare minimum, I mean heck I swear the electricity went out last night."

Tommy nods solemnly, "Yes it was very sad, I was making tea and the kettle stopped boiling. My tea was lukewarm."

Tubbo gives him a look of sympathy, "That sucks," He says sincerely; tea is nothing to joke about. "Well, I'm now going to finish playing Slither.io. Bye bye Clementine, hopefully see you never."

" Clementine says bye back," Tommy speaks on her behalf.

Tubbo snorts, "I'm sure she does."

"Well we are going to go now, and y'know return her, to her home. In the water. Away from here. And I'll come back, without her," Tommy states, inching away from the living room.

Tubbo gives a hum of acknowledgment.

Tommy smirks behind his back as he leaves, closing the living room door firmly behind him before he tails it to their bedroom.

Clementine swims at super speed in the mug.

As fucking if.

Getting rid of Clementine? Not in this economy.

_____

Tubbo clearly doesn't care about Tommy's safety. Sending him out into the dangerous, dark world at 7:43pm.

He's lucky that Tommy stole a bunch of tech from their bedroom without asking, otherwise Tubbo may have had  a lawsuit for manslaughter on his hands.

Clementine swims majestically in the mug. She's so beautiful.

Tommy shifts his mask to scratch an itch on his cheek, cold air brushing against the exposed skin.

He's on a mission; he's going to get Clementine a fucking tank.

There are quite a few problems with this mission and Tommy is going to address none of them.

He clutches Clementine close to his chest and braces his feet before jumping off into the air, grinning as he perfects a landing onto a random industrial building.

Where do you even buy tanks?

Tommy looks down at the town, eyes scanning the shops, most of them already closed early for Sunday.

He pauses. A supermarket is open. Pogchamp. There should be something for Clementine in there.

He hops down into an alleyway before making his way  onto the street inconspicuously. He's basically a spy at this point.

As Tommy nears the shop, he frowns, looking in through the windows there seems to be no one at the cashier stations. They really do slacking on the job huh.

Whatever, he'll find an employee when he gets in.

Tommy adjusts Clementine to be held in his right hand while he pushes with his other to open the supermarket door.

A beep chimes as he enters, yellow hue lighting making him blink. It's quiet.

Everyone must have given up shopping by six o'clock or something.

Tommy whistles to himself as he makes his way further into the shop, "Gonna get Clementine a tank, gonna get Clementine a tank and then Tubbo is going to have to accept her as a member of our family," He sings. Honestly Tommy should get an award for being multitalented.

What can't he do?

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" A deep voice rumbles behind him. Tommy squawks, but it's like, a manly squawk.

He turns around and sees a hooded figure, black mask and knife in hand.

Shit .

Did he just walk into the middle of a robbery?

He glances down at Clementine in resignation. Carefully he places her in between two different flavours of Pop Tarts; Strawberry Sensation and S'mores.

" Clementine, be good," He orders before turning back to the masked figure.

"Look man, I'm just tryna buy a tank for my fish."

The guy pauses, probably in bewilderment, " What?"

Tommy shifts on his feet, hand reaching behind to pull a pen out of pocket, "Yeah, like, I'm looking for a massive fucking tank that just like, takes up an entire wall. Like an aquarium."

The guy is silent for a moment, "Where would you even find that?"

Tommy shrugs, "My guess is as good as yours."

"Huh, I hope you find that tank," The guy says and hey, this robber is pretty cool.

Tommy grins, "Thanks, like my best friend totally doesn't want the fish, but like, fish lives matter too y'know? Clementine can't speak for herself. I'm her representative."

"Clementine?"

"Yeah, Clementine."

They stand for a moment in silence.

Tommy sees the exact moment the man is about to attack and narrowly dodges a knife to the throat. Yikes.

He jabs his thumb hard into the pen and holds it out as it extends into a baton.

"Woah there big man, you need to like calm down," Tommy chuckles, "I swear, you like, almost killed me there or something? Easy mistake to make, just don't do it again okay."

The guy launches another knife that nicks Tommy's left arm.

Alright. Well that's just fucking rude.

The vigilante uses the baton to kick himself up into the air and flip over the guy, landing on the opposite side.

He uses the advantage of hindsight to jab the weapon directly into the guy's back, watching as he crumpled to the floor.

"Maybe next time, don't try to stab me, twice ." Tommy scowls.

The guy stays crumpled and he sighs, time to find Clementine and get that fucking tank.

The door beeps and Tommy resists screaming.

He turns around and sees three more guys in masks.

Oh for fucksake.

They all stare at each other.

"Quagmire? Is that you?" One of them asks.

Tommy's about to answer, that no , he isn't fucking Quagmire, what kind of shitty name is that? But before he can, the guy on the ground groans in reply.

Oh.

That's Quagmire.

That's a stupid name.

"That's a stupid name," He says aloud just so everyone else can hear his opinion too.

"Did you just kill Quagmire?" One of them accuses.

Tommy huffs, "No, he's clearly alive you dick. He tried to kill me ."

Clearly they don't care about the circumstances because moments later they are in a full out battle; three against one.

This may be just slightly unfair in Tommy's humble opinion.

But, he's not the talented and athletic and handsome and charismatic vigilante for nothing.

He's barely catching a sweat as they chase him around the store, throwing whatever they can find and then some. Aisles go down, windows are broken. The usual.

Tommy yelps as heat licks at his heels. One of the dudes can breathe fire which to be honest is pretty Pogchamp.

"Guys, can't we come to an agreement or something?" He huffs in annoyance. He just wanted a fucking tank.

They don't seem to be in the mood for conversation, just y'know throwing knives, breathing fire, trying to shoot him.

It's great, just how he wanted to spend his evening.

"Okay time to break this up."

Tommy stumbles and falls onto the linoleum tiles because holy fuck . That's Philza.

Why the hell is Philza here?

This situation has gone from aggressively irritating to a fucking nightmare.

He's going to die.

Oh god, Clementine.

Tommy crouches under the frozen meat section to watch as Philza and Willow and The Blade stand at the entrance of the shop, staring down the robbers.

"What's this all about hmm?" Philza hovers just above the ground like the fucking king he is, majestic wings flapping. This is the second best moment of his life.

The robbers all start speaking at once.

"There's this stupid fucking kid ."

"He hurt Quagmire!"

"I just wanted some free chocolate."

Philza frowns, "A kid?" He glances around the store and Tommy ducks immediately. This is not good.

"Yeah some stupid fucking tall brat with a stick!"

The snitches. Absolute snakes.

How dare they call his baton a stick? He'll shove that 'stick' right up their-

" Where is he ?" Willow steps forward, eyes hard.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

"He's hiding in one of the aisles," A robber immediately speaks up, unable to control it.

Oh god, this is how he dies. This is it.

He still hasn't told Tubbo about the skittles incident.

Tommy starts to crawl down the aisle, very quietly and very careful only to come face to face with a large pair of black combat boots.

He sighs.

Tommy glances upwards to see Willow staring down at him.

He quickly backs ups onto the palms of his hands.

"Listen," He starts, dropping his voice to be intimidating, to be scary . "I'm sorry I offended you the last time we met. I didn't know that powers turning off was such a touchy subject, but, hey it seems your powers are working just fine as we all just saw haha," Tommy tries to soothe.

Willow glares down at him. " Get up."

Okay, let's pause for just a sec. TommyInnit is a very powerful, very strong, very talented vigilante who fights based on physical abilities alone.

And this is why he knows he's no match for the Willow, who probably beats up kids like him as a warm up.

So TommyInnit, the clever, genius with an IQ of over a thousand does a Pro Gamer Move ™️.

He gets up.

Willow grins, all teeth as he turns to Philza and Blade, "Fucking see last time was a fluke."

The Blade rolls his eyes, seemingly disappointed at the turn of events, "And here I was hoping I'd get to see you fail," He drawls out. He's so cool.

Philza just smiles, "Good job Wil, now let's take him to the headquarters."

Willow nods, grinning sadistically as he looks back at Tommy.

"You're going to pay for getting away from us last time," He promises.

Tommy is so so scared but also very very hyped because oh my fucking god, the Willow just threatened to torture him.

This is the best day ever.

Well, except for the fact that he's getting taken to y'know be arrested or something. He's not too sure what they do to vigilantes.

" Follow us ," The Willow whispers and Tommy complies, feet moving.

As they walk down the aisle, Tommy sees Clementine, swimming at light speed around the mug. His child .

He glances over at Willow who is walking a little ways ahead, back turned. An amateur move on his part.

With smooth movements Tommy grabs the mug with one hand, the other hand holding the baton.

Willow does not notice and he almost breathes a sigh of relief.

When the four of them reach outside, Willow begins to talk, while Techno watches Tommy curiously and Phil flies ahead.

"You see, when you escaped us a week ago, I knew it was a fluke. Because look at you, your mask looks fucking stupid and you're wearing a hoodie that looks it has been run over, thrice. "

Tommy resists frowning, but his eyebrow twitches.  Now that is just horrible. He loves this hoodie; yes, he may refuse to wash it for like a month, but that's not the Willow's business.

"So I was l like, how would you, some wannabe vigilante be able to defy my powers."

Tommy really wants to roll his eyes, oh my fucking god . This guy's ego is through the roof.

They are further out on the street now, Tommy can see a path to take to get back home.

"I mean, you know who I am right? I'm the Willow, I'm in the top ten heroes ranking, in fact, I'm sixth place. I bet you couldn't even apply to be a hero, your weapon is literally a stick," Willow rants.

Tommy did not ask to be attacked. He just wanted a tank.

Tommy stops walking, no one notices. Philza is far ahead while The Blade seemingly became bored of the one-sided conversation.

"Like, you should be lucky to even meet us, this is probably like your biggest dream huh? Meeting us, three of the top ten heroes in the world. Did you know I am one of the youngest heroes to rise to the top so- "

"Okay, but, like, where are the askers? Who asked? I'm pretty sure nobody asked," Tommy cuts Willow off, bracing his feet as he leaps off into the air.

He lands on a building and watches as the Willow stares up at him in disbelief. The Blade and Philza have also stopped to watch.

Tommy cups a hand over his mouth as he shouts over at the hero, "Hey Willow! Go find some askers!" He shoots him the middle finger for good measure.

And with that, he uses his baton as a booster to shoot him off into the sky, making his way home.

Nobody , makes fun of TommyInnit.

_____

Tommy walks through his street in dejection. Clementine swims around the mug sadly.

" Clementine, I'm sorry I couldn't find you a beautiful aquarium." He apologizes.

Clementine swims faster.

Tommy sighs melodramatically and begs the gods for a miracle.

He kicks absentmindedly at a plastic bottle, looking down at Clementine in sadness. She will never experience a full life, he's failed as a father.

Tommy pauses, turning around to look back at the bottle as he notices something odd.

The bottle is fucking massive. It's an old Sprite bottle, but it's so big it spans the length of his arm. That's long.

He glances back down at Clementine and then back at the bottle.

He grins.

_____

"Tommy, what the fuck is this?"

Tubbo looks at him blearily, presumably waking up from a nap he spent at his computer. There's an indent of keys on his cheek.

Tommy smiles proudly as he holds the bottle out for his friend to see. It's full of clean water and Clementine swims around happily, floating from end to