Ilette walked around the loft apartment she shared with Corey trying to learn everything about it. She was familiar with the feel of the paint of every painting on the walls, she had used all of them at one point. This told her all of those paintings were modern. She could also tell that most of them were by amateurs because of the brush strokes that she felt. She knew where every vase was, the style and weight so she could guess the origins of most of them. The rest she knew were new because of the glaze that was used, it gave it a unique feel. She knew the location and size of every picture frame. She knew how many books he had as well as their size, weight and page count. But in her mind that wasn't a success because she couldn't see the pictures or artwork, she couldn't read the titles of the books or know the colors of the vases. Dejected, Ilette sat down in the rocking chair by the window that faced the morning sun. She leaned her head back and let her mind wander back to memories that brought joy and sorrow.

"What exactly do you mean by this isn't a marriage." Bradley looked hurt, his brow furrowed and the broad smile that lit up the room was gone.

"We married to keep me safe, that's not the typical reason to marry." Ilette had grown up with her dad, he had five ex-wives by the time she was ten years old and he had very odd beliefs about marriage because of it.

"Marriage isn't something I joke about; it also isn't something that I believe you just throw away without making an effort to recover." He set the plate down on the counter and tossed the towel at her gently.

"What about abusive marriages, should the victim let the other person, their abuser have a chance to recover?" She turned and put her right hand on her hip, her left hung loose with a dish towel in it. "There are so many variables that make it not that cut and dry."

"I admit that, however" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath "There are places that have very different views on marriage. Arranged marriage is still very relevant today."

She turned back to the dishes, started rinsing them off and putting them in the rack to dry "Arranged marriage," She chuckled a bit "that has nothing to do with us. We got married out of necessity not love, not because our families told us too."

He groaned and tried to calm himself so he could think of how best to explain how he was thinking "This marriage is really no different than an arranged marriage, two people married because of some type of contract between the parties involved. That doesn't mean that it is doomed to fail or end because of it."

"Arranged by us so that shouldn't count." She glanced at him and realized this really meant more to him than she thought. "Look," she sat the dishes aside and walked over to him to give him her full attention. "I don't really know what a marriage is. I don't even know what love is let alone how an arranged marriage behaves."

"Like any other marriage just awkward at first. By the way you have told me several times your dad wanted to do an arranged marriage with you. Yeah, the who he had in mind fell through but." He shrugged "How do you expect to honor him Ilette, how do you know that he had absolutely nothing to do with us getting together. You know he is watching over you, maybe he guided this."

"He was always fond of you, when you came by to help me with math in high school he pointed at the door after you left and said now that's a family to marry into." Ilette laughed "I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't grow up with the type of example you did for marriage."

"True," Bradley's face softened, and he took the few steps over to her slowly. "How about we take a few minutes away from chores and go fool around."

"Are you sure we are ready to?" She smiled nervously, she hadn't been with anyone, even though everyone in high school and college was convinced otherwise.

"I think we are adult enough to handle it," he stepped up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist "and I think we are at the point that if we don't it's just going to go from the awkward silence to not being able to stand each other."

"Okay," she kissed him on the nose. He smiled in a way she hadn't seen before, his eyes sparkled and the joy seemed to be so full it was dripping off him. "Follow me," she took his hand and led him from the kitchen into the bedroom.

The undress portion of the activity was awkward, like two teenagers who hated their bodies being asked to put them on display and do a strip tease in front of the whole school. But everything eased when Bradley and Ilette climbed into bed then held each other for the longest time, just getting comfortable with the other being there. When he reached in for a kiss it got heated very quickly.

The way he tenderly wrapped himself around her and made her forget every hurt she had ever experienced made her fall deeper in love with him. It wasn't all about him, his actions made that clear. He paid attention to every movement of her body and every sound she made. Whenever she whimpered and shifted uncomfortably, he quickly corrected and soothed her with a few whispers in her ear "You are so breathtakingly beautiful, nothing fake, nothing forced, your natural and amazing."

She fought herself for a while but as he nuzzled into her neck and grabbed her hips for a better position she finally let the words out "I think I'm falling in love with you." He froze and she felt a quick but fleeting wave of regret, until she saw his eyes. They glistened, full of hope and admiration, he said nothing, he just leaned down and kissed her in a way she never had been kissed before. He didn't say I love you, he showed her.

                                                 "You okay over there?" Corey came in with a few bags, maybe a dozen Ilette could hear the rustling.

                                                "Yes, just remembering." She sat up but kept rocking "What's in the bags?" she frowned wishing she could live in that memory and not in the present, not that Corey was a bad person or anything, he just wasn't Bradley.

                                                 "Tell me what I can do to make this easier for you." He leaned against the doorway into the kitchen area "I'm not completely clueless, I see how much you loved him. I'm glad he found that before he passed." Corey slowly walked towards her. "Tell me what is wrong, what is bothering you" he rolled his eyes at his own words "Other than missing Bradley."

                                                  "The only thing I loved more than Bradley was painting." She leaned her head back against the tall back of the rocker as tears rolled down her face. "What's in the bags."

                                                  "Mom found a store nearby, I'm not allowed to say where" They both laughed he knelt at her feet, "It focuses on the visually impaired, she got a bunch of audio books for you, a couple of puzzles with texture."

                                                "Textured puzzles" She winced "Great, I've sunk that low."

                                               "No, not like that" he chuckled as he stood and retrieved the bags. "I would have been here sooner, but we were playing with one of them. He pulled it out of the bag and placed it on her lap "Maybe it will give you an idea about how you can continue your artwork."

                                              She put her hand on the wooden puzzle that was in her lap "What," she moved her hands back, a little surprised "It's..." she put her hands back down, she felt the image, it wasn't a flat image carved into the wood it was a raised image that felt like a forest scene. She felt trees, grass, a bunny under the bush near smooth satiny water, soft cotton for clouds and a hard metal for the sky and the sun. "I can do this too." The possibilities unlocked within her mind.

                                              "I know." Corey had moved to the kitchen, was putting food away and making lunch.

                                               "I need some things; can you pick up somethings for me?"

                                               "I already did, they are in the bags at your feet. Also, Mom gave them a picture of Bradley and asked them to make one of him for you," He felt a warmth inside knowing she just made a huge leap forward. "Well asked them to make a three-dimensional picture of him for you, not a puzzle."

                                               "Thank you," She smiled like she hadn't since the accident. "I think I was wrong about you Corey."

                                                  "Okay," He grimaced "What did you assume."

                                                  "That I loved Bradley too much to be able to fall in love with you." She felt home, safe and hopeful.

                                                   Trying to ignore the butterflies he explained his activities for the day "I found a couple guys downtown living under a bridge that actually have wicked good mechanic skills." He closed the fridge and leaned on the counter "I got them on in place of me at the garage and I let them move into the house on fifth that you own. I've kind of turned it into a super low-income house." He saw her smile almost start glowing. "So, my time is free now, I'm going to be around more."

                                                "You are proving me very wrong," she laughed "your brother liked to do that too. Is the pain ever going to ease?"

                                                "Every widow I talk to says no, they also say you need to not be alone right now." He reluctantly made his way over to her "I have started a support group for widows in the area. They meet at the senior center on twelfth in a couple of days for the first time. You know one of them Allissa, you did a painting for her. She lost her husband last month, her friend Fayline lost her wife around that time too. It's basically going to be just a bunch of people getting together to cry and do some crafting or something."

                                                     "It's actually a good idea Corey, thank you." The tears were slowing now "I have been in hell and I don't know how to get out of it."

                                                  "I already threw you the ladder," he chuckled "It just took you awhile to find it." He was trying not to say it.

                                                  "I'm blind what'd you expect." Corey burst out laughing "You were trying not to go there weren't you."

                                                   "Yes," He laughed even harder "I'm heading downstairs, there is something I am working on down there. If you need me just stomp. The bags of stuff mom got are by the couch your art supplies are at your feet and there is lunch in the kitchen, fried chicken, nice and hot so be careful." He leaned over and kissed her cheek then kissed her forehead "From Bradley." He made his way downstairs leaving her to her thoughts.

                                                Ilette reached for the bags at her feet, "So many," She smiled sliding out of the rocker she sat on the floor with the bags all around her. She felt around in the bags and found what she was looking for. She pulled out one of the canvases and a tub. She opened the tub and checked its smell and texture. "Not sculpting clay, spackle if I'm right," She pulled out another tub and Identified it right away as sculpture clay or as she said sculpting clay. Next she found modeling clay and monster clay "okay" she took a deep breath "I can do this." She readied the canvas and surrounding area and made herself comfortable. With a little bit at a time she got to work, she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to make his hands, she had held them so much she knew how they felt by heart.

                                           After several hours Corey came up to check on her and laughed "Well, you ate the chicken, that's good and you are doing some artwork, that is good too." He chuckled at the mess as he knelt and looked at the canvas "Bradley's hands."

                                          "How did you know?" she was puzzled.

                                             "He had a scar on his right palm from home ec." Corey laughed "That was a very interesting phone call for mom and dad to get." He smiled "He sewed himself to the apron he was making." He laughed again "you got the scar so accurate, come to think of it those hands are very accurate." He kissed her Forehead then leaned down "From Bradley" She leaned up and kissed him on the mouth sweetly.

                                                "Thanks for the ladder." He was still so close to her that she could feel the smile on his face "What are you doing downstairs?"

                                               "Remodeling the large warehouse space into an art studio for you and a garage and office in the corner for me, so I can keep an eye on you." He was surprised to see the joy and surprise that came over her. "Based on the mess I see around you" he laughed "you will clearly need a larger space to work."

                                           "Is it okay if I sleep with you tonight? I don't want to be alone, falling asleep in your arms sounds so much more peaceful than tossing and turning from the nightmares and dreams."

                                          "Yes, you may. I am going to go finish up a few things down there then be right up."

                                        "Okay" she nodded, "I'm going to start something new " as soon as he left she got to work, she knew what she wanted to make for him. She took her time and used color and glitter in the clay this time, she wasn't sure what color she put where and she didn't care. When he came up, he laughed before he closed the door "Yes, the mess is bigger, but I made you something. He walked over slowly, and she handed him the hunk of stone that she had put the project on it was a mangled and colorful ladder that was designed to look used and loved. "I don't think I need it anymore."