The man didn't miss a beat, "Why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute, boredom! I lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane; lacking focus." He set his elbow over Vaggie's head, either not realizing or not caring enough to tell she was glaring daggers at him. "Aimless!" In one swift motion, he toppled the girl onto the floor like a ragdoll. "I've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Ha, ha, ha!"

"Uh, does getting in a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment?" Charlie pitched. At this point, she was probably pulling on strings to get this idea of hers off the ground.

"Ha, ha, ha! It's the purest kind, my dear. Reality! True passion!" he applauded before uttering the phrase you'd heard so many times in the past, "After all, the world is a stage, and the stage is a world of entertainment," he mused.

"You always find everything so funny, don't you?" you didn't mean to say it. The words practically jumped from your lips, but it had the same reaction nonetheless.

"Why of course, my dear! We wouldn't want to miss out on the world, now would we?" he asked, throwing a dangerous grin in your direction. He watched tentatively as your lips parted to speak once more just for nothing to leave your mouth.

'Did he forget about me?', you found yourself wondering. There was no way. It had only been... seven years. Seven whole years since...

You decided to join Vaggie and Angel on the couch and tune out as much of that demon's nonsense as possible. The last thing you needed was bitter memories resurfacing. Each time you reminisced on them, you'd find it more painful than the last. There were only so many stabs in the heart you could take before the wound was too considerably damaged to even attempt to be repaired.

You didn't need to listen to his ramblings to know his stance on the topic of Hell's residents. 'Scum of the Earth, those mangy mutts!' he'd say, but it was obvious dogs weren't what he was referring to.

"Uh, so, uh, what the deal with smiles?" Angel asked lazily, gesturing to Alastor who was dragging Charlie around in an attempt to gain her favor.

"Wait, you've never heard of him before?" Vaggie asked. "You've been here longer than me!"

Angel just shrugged. You muttered under your breath in a daze, "Alastor... the radio demon... he is the beginning of ends... he is the silent killer... the wolf in deer's clothing..."

"Uh, the who what now?" Angel asked, also in a daze, but not one matching your nostalgia-driven dream state.

"You've really never heard of him?" Vaggie asked once more.

"Meh, not big on politics," Angel shrugged, leaning back.

After one last groan, Vaggie explained, "Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell seemingly overnight. He began to topple overlords who had been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he'd broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness his ability." Gruesome images flashed across your mind. Deaths that you'd taken part in. You tried to grapple with the memories of slaughter that you had vowed never to repeat in the hands of your new friends.

Luckily though, your train of thought was broken by the simple remark, "He looks like a strawberry pimp." You chuckled at Angel's simple assumption. Maybe you could find respite with the cocky pornstar after all.

"Believe me, the last thing you'd want to get tangled up in is this "radio demon" nonsense," you spat. At that, Vaggie left in an attempt to convince Charlie not to take part in any deal.

"So, you gotta history with this guy?" Angel asked lazily, pointing at Alastor with a popsicle stick.

"What? No," you answered, but it was glaringly obvious that you did. The panic attack you'd had earlier spoke for itself.

"Oh c'mon, you his chic or something?"

"Ugh," you groaned, almost as annoyed as Vaggie. Knowing that this conversation would get you nowhere, you left for Charlie as well.

You caught the last half of their conversation though, "Look, I know he's bad and I know he probably doesn't want to change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance; have faith things will be better!" You looked over to find Alastor staring at a painting of the royal family with a broad smile. He'd always wanted to meet Lucifer. "How can I turn someone away? I can't. It goes against everything I'm trying to do. Everything I believe in," Charlie admitted, head downcast.

You didn't want to admit it either, but a small part of your shriveled-up heart left room for Alastor. It wasn't as if he was incapable of doing good. After a moment of thought, you relented, "Charlie, I think you're right. I mean, having Alastor here would probably attract guests—"

"Or scare them off," Vaggie whispered viciously into your ear.

"Please, you two. You've always had my back, and we can always ask him to leave if things don't work out," Charlie pleaded.

"Alright," Vaggie sighed.

"But whatever he says, no deals," you warned.

Charlie chuckled, embracing the both of you, "Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my dad, "You don't take shit from other demons"," she said, impersonating his voice awfully.

Praying to Lucifer that his daughter doesn't get her soul stolen, you watched as she walked off to the radio demon, "Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke." Charlie turned away from him for a moment, and you could swear glowing red symbols drifted around him. They disappeared as she turned back though. "But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no... tricks or voodoo strings attached." Charlie continued, gesturing strangely with her hands. You caught Alastor rolling his eyes at the last one, but even you could confess it was a bit much.

"So, it's a deal then?" Alastor asked, bending down and reaching out a hand. Strange green magic and gusts of wind seemed to flow from his hand. You, Angel, and Vaggie were struggling to stay grounded.

"NOPE!" Charlie pushed his hand away, "No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... as princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire," she said sweetly, obviously making up the last part on the spot. She glanced at you and Vaggie for approval and you gave her an awkward smile and thumbs up. Vaggie just stared at her. "Sound fair?"

Alastor seemed to take that as, "Fair enough," and went on to tease the lot of you—as expected. Vaggie was targeted first, "Smile my dear!" he exclaimed, tickling the bottom of her jaw with his forefinger. Vaggie was absolutely fuming. "You know, you're never fully dressed without one!" As he walked away, he hummed a tune you couldn't quite place at first before realizing it was obviously the song that inspired his bright smile in the first place. He'd sung it to you countless times, it almost made you smile at the thought.

"So, where is your hotel staff?" he inquired, bending down to Charlie.

"Uh, well..." Charlie mumbled, unable to retrieve an answer.

Alastor seemed to get the memo though, because Vaggie gave him a harrowing death stare from across the room. "Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that," he chuckled. As he strode towards Angel Dust, you couldn't help but grin at the fact that he could make anyone uncomfortable. "And what do you do, my effeminate fellow?"

Angel's simple response made you grin, "I can suck your dick!"

Alastor's mic screeched as he took a minute to process the response. "HA, no," was all he could muster. Oh, how much he deserved that.

"Hmm, your loss."

And finally, he turned to you. "Hmm," he started, rubbing his chin with his left hand. Your eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the golden band around his fourth finger before you shook yourself out of your strange daze. "While I'll admit you're more of a cook, I think you'd make for a darling maid," he chuckled deeply, one of his hands reaching behind your ear before you flinched away.

"In your dreams," you snapped.

He just shrugged, mumbling, "Maybe you are."

***

1434 words

"It has been a CENTURY since I have updated, but here I am! I have a throbbing headache and have had "vaggie" be auto-corrected to veggie hundreds of times i'm sure. I swear to Lucifer that updates will be MUCH more often. Vote if you liked it, comment your thoughts, and I'll see you, lovely reader, next chapter!"

- Coffee