Iwaizumi POV

Do you know those scenes in horror movies when the protagonist discovers the corpse, covered in blood, sitting in an empty room and when they step inside the door slams and locks behind them and they're all alone, the horrible smell of blood and decomposition intoxicating their lungs and chills and shudders covering their skin like oil and them ending up paralysed and shaking?

That's the feeling I was experiencing.

Except there was no horror movie, no locked room and no corpse.

So you may question how I am currently feeling this way with no possible explanation as to why.

I'll tell you.

'LEUKEMIA.'

For each letter stencilled on my wrist I felt a tug at my heart and a cold chill sweep down my spine. I spent a strong five minutes contemplating every possibility that could mean my soulmate didn't have . . .

Maybe it was a friend or family member going through this, maybe it wasn't really my soulmate, maybe they're just learning about it to become a doctor or something, maybe . . .

So many maybes.

But there was one thing I knew for sure: I needed to find my soulmate.

Now.

The speed at which I ran down the stairs was one I'd never managed to reach before, but I guess that's what unreasonable panic does to your body. My dad was sitting at the dinner table as my mother lay a plate in front of him.

"What's with the extra zoom there, kiddo?" He laughed.

I didn't answer. "You said you know who my soulmate is," I turned to my mother. "Can you tell me?"

"I thought I already said," She wiped the sweat off her brow, the result of leaning over a boiling stove. "You have to figure it out for yourself."

"Yes, I know, but can you please tell me? Like, now?"

"Why? Also why did you come down those stairs so fast? I wouldn't be surprised if you tore straight through the carpet."

"I just want to know. Right now. Like, urgently."

"You still haven't explained why."

I groaned. "Because, um," Thinking of an excuse for this wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Especially since when put on the spot, my brain seems to function far slower than normal, when the reaction should be the complete opposite. If humans were still wild, I would probably be dead by now. "A lot of my friends have already found their soulmates. I don't wanna be left out."

Good. That'll be good enough. She'll buy that. She always buys that –

"What friends?"

God fucking damnit.

The rest of dinner went in a similar manner, with my parents both refusing to say anything about my soulmate – even though I can't be sure they actually know.

By the time we were finished, I hadn't managed to learn a single thing.

"Futile," I muttered as I fell onto my bed, face first. "Fucking futile."

My phone pinged, sending my jumping out of my own skin.

1 new message

Trashykawa

Can you tell the team . . .

A sinking feeling swam around in my stomach as I swiped the message open. Why did five simple words make me feel so sick?

Maybe it was because I already knew the rest.

Trashykawa: can you tell the team I'm not coming to practice tomorrow?

Pursing my lips, I texted back.

You: why?

Trashykawa: I'm sick

You: Goddamnit Oikawa

Trashykawa: Hey, it's not my fault!

You: if it's a cold, then yes. Yes it is. You should take better care of your immune system

Trashykawa: don't act like I didn't teach you what an immune system even is

You: you're changing the subject

Trashykawa: and? It's a boring topic anyway

You: why're are you sick?

seen

You: Oikawa

seen

You: Oikawa fucking answer me

seen

I flicked off my phone, throwing it aside.

That boy really was a petty little bitch wasn't he –

'LIE'.

I froze as I stared at the newest tattoo on my wrist.

Another ping from my phone almost sent me tumbling off my bed this time.

Trashykawa: sorry, I was distracted

Trashykawa: anyway, it's just a cold like you said. I spent too long standing outside in the rain

My head seemed to spin as I took in this information, the room whirling around me like I was being sent off to Oz. It was that same feeling I felt when I went on my first rollercoaster.

Everything's fine at first, going slowly along a slight incline. You're excited – this is gonna be so fun! You're practically buzzing, sending your friends beaming smiles. But then the incline begins, and you start to climb higher and higher and the churning feeling comes, clinging onto your chair with white knuckles in fear of falling out of the almost vertically facing car. You're scared shitless, but you manage to convince yourself that it's fine. You're just going up. Nothing can go wrong with just going up.

Then you reach the peak.

The silence.

The calm before the storm.

Where you know you should be taking in the view and feeling the sun's rays against your skin, but all you can feel is gnawing dread, filling your stomach up with flapping wings, an uncomfortable take on those romantic fluttery butterflies. Because you know. You know what's coming.

What goes up must come down.

Your stomach rises to your throat as you plunge down the drop, twisting and turning, your body feeling as if it's about to be torn apart layer by layer. Every colour merges into a white blur at the corners of your eyes. There are no thoughts. No talkative voice in your head like there usually is.

The only thing you can hear is the scream, tearing at your throat.

Trashykawa: sorry, I was distracted

Trashykawa: anyway, it's just a cold like you said. I spent too long standing outside in the rain

It was a lie.

It was so obviously a lie.

I know Oikawa and I know he can stand waist deep in snow without catching a cold.

So why did he lie?

And why was the word that was repeating in my head, knocking around my skull like the pendulum of a clock, the same word that was written on my wrist.

'LIE'

The same thing that Oikawa did.

'LIE'

The same thing I do when I tell Oikawa I hate him.

'LIE'

The same thing I do to myself whenever that thought comes into my head.

The thought that maybe, just maybe . . .

The rollercoaster slows down, screeching to a halt at the gates, where family members wait with smiles on their faces. And you feel that trembling, grateful feeling. Grateful that you're still alive. Grateful that you're back on solid earth. Grateful that nothing went wrong. Right at that moment there, it's that feeling that makes the whole ride worthwhile.

Oikawa is my soulmate.

(A/N: sorry not sorry ;)

Also thank you guys for so many readssss! I never knew people would like my story this much ^^)