"I'm so sorry this happened to you," said Shiro squeezing Adam tightly. His composure wasn't regained just yet. He was still crying.

"You're sorry something bad happened... to me?" questioned Adam.

"It wasn't supposed to go this way for you. You were supposed to be happy," cried Shiro.

"Okay, hold up, girl," said Adam, pulling back. "Let's take a seat. Obviously we need to hash some things out."

Adam guided Shiro down to the ground so they could sit crossed legged, their knees touching. It reminded Shiro of when they were younger, sitting up late on Adam's bed, talking. Mohammed's snoring... Reece threatening to put cayenne pepper in their jockstraps if they didn't shut up and sleep already.

"Okay so you're upset that I died," said Adam, pulling Shiro's hand into his lap. "I can relate. You died on me too."

"I...," began Shiro. "Okay, I did feel bad about that," admitted Shiro. "Knowing that you would think I was dead..."

"You know how I'm a little bit psychic?" asked Adam.

"Yeah," said Shiro, rolling his eyes like he always did when Adam claimed to be psychic. He'd long since learned that there was no point in trying to argue Adam out of this belief. But then again... Magic was real so maybe Adam really was a little bit psychic.

"I always had this bad feeling about Kerberos," said Adam, his brown eyes darkening. "That if you went, I'd never see you again..."

This made Shiro start to cry again. "Guess you were right."

"Well, I'm seeing you now, so take that fate," said Adam and snapped his fingers up at the sky. Shiro marveled at how much he'd missed Adam's mannerisms.

"It's so strange," said Adam, getting serious again. "I mourned for you when I thought you'd died on the Kerberos mission. Then Keith ran off and I never heard from him again. I was a hot mess afterwards, but holding it together. Then one day Sam Holt, alive and well, bursts into my office..." Adam started to laugh. "And I could tell he was not supposed to talk to me because I could hear Colleen out in the hall yelling at someone to leave us be... And Sam tells me you're alive and fighting in an intergalactic war in space and Keith's with you and you're both piloting robot lions or whatever. And then he handed me this device that had a video file..."

Shiro remembered recording that message, holding the tiny camera in front of him while he said, "Adam, I'm sorry... for leaving. You probably think I'm dead, but I wanted you to know I'm alive and Keith is with me and... I miss you... I know what you said, but I hope when I do get back to Earth... whenever that may be... that you'll be willing to see me because... I really want to see you." Shiro went to turn off the camera, but he couldn't just leave it there. "I still love you... I'm sorry if you're happy and that's not information you want to have. Maybe I'm selfish for saying it. I just... Life is short and unpredictable and if I've learned anything it's to say what I mean while I have the chance."

"My clone recorded that message," said Shiro. "Although I remember it since I have my clone's memories... Or does my clone have my memories? Am I me or my clone? Geez I don't want to get into this logic loop again. My head turns into an Escher painting every time I try to figure it out."

"You're you, Takashi," said Adam with a kind smile. "I would know. I've always known you better than you know yourself."

Shiro chuckled softly. "If you say so, I believe it." Then he frowned. "You know when I recorded that I actually was dead..."

"It's funny... or maybe not funny at all... when I died," said Adam, "my consciousness arrived in the After and they told me you were actually dead and I searched for you, but you weren't there."

"Because I was here, in the astral plane," said Shiro. "The Black Lion kept me here."

"When I found that out," continued Adam, "I started working on coming here myself. It took a long time, but I convinced one of the realm's guardians to let me past the veil. Have you met Melenor?"

"No."

"My fellow queen. You'd love her. I haven't known her long, but pretty sure she's my new Ride or Die B*tch. Anyway as fate would have it by the time I got here, you were alive again."

"Oh, Adam..." sighed Shiro, marveling at their terrible timing.

"So I threw a queen sized fit and started harassing a Dream guardian to let me reach out to you in your sleep."

"I can't believe what you went through," sighed Shiro.

"What I went through?" scoffed Adam. He rubbed the back of his head and gave those short curls a toss. "Hun, maybe we should talk about what you've gone through. Mel B let me see it all and I'm just so... so in awe of you. I always knew you were destined for greatness, Takashi. I just had no concept of the scale of which you'd be great."

Even when Adam was dead, he was still so supportive. "Adam, I'm sorry about Kerberos and I want to explain why I chose to go. I know I made it seem like all I cared about was going on the mission of a lifetime, but it started long before Kerberos was an option... It started when we got engaged," said Shiro, gulping back the emotion that threatened to collapse him back into tears. "It's when it really hit me that I couldn't provide a proper life for you..." There, he said it.

"Takashi...," began Adam, but Shiro needed to push through and say it all.

"We couldn't adopt a baby together because there wasn't time to raise one so you couldn't have the full experience of being a dad which is such a shame because you would've been an incredible parent. And we would only have a few years before I got really sick and started to lose control over my body. I was going to end up in a hospital bed in our home with you changing my bed pan and then after that I'd be in the real hospital, having lost the ability to speak and you'd have to sit by my bed side and hold my hand while I wasted away..." Shiro began crying.

"I love holding your hand," said Adam, giving Shiro's hand a squeeze. He leaned forward so Shiro could rest his head on Adam's shoulder because he just couldn't seem to keep upright on his own anymore.

"When Kerberos came up... I wanted to do it. The fact that Sanda was telling me I wasn't capable made me want to do it more, but... I also used it as an excuse to push you away. I never wanted to break up, I loved you, but I felt so much guilt over what you'd be missing out on by staying with me. I wanted you to find someone who you could have a real life with, could adopt kids with, and grow old together with. It was a thought I kept myself warm with when I was fighting in the gladiator pits and later when I was trapped here. So when I finally got back to Earth and discovered you'd died fighting Sendak's forces..." Shiro was suddenly crying so hard he had to stop and gulp it back before he could go on. "It wasn't supposed to end like this. You were supposed to be happy."

"Takashi...," said Adam, stroking the back of Shiro's hand with his thumb. "First of all I did eventually realize that's why you did it. It seemed really out of character for you to just disregard my feelings and agree to the mission. At the time it really hurt, it felt like you were rejecting me."

"I'm so sorry..."

"I did eventually come to the realization that you were trying to protect me in your own misguided way. But you didn't need to protect me from loving you. I knew what your health was when I proposed to you. I had already weighed my options and decided I would rather have a few short years as your husband than go without. I wanted every moment possible with you. Had only wanted to spend time with you since I met you in school. That's why I kept asking you to come along with me when we were teens. I wanted you with me, always."

Shiro had convinced himself that he'd slowly worn Adam down into liking him, but really it had been the other way round.

"Also, I didn't need to adopt a baby to be a mama," said Adam. "I've been adopting kids and raising them since I was a kid myself. I adopted you, didn't I?"

"I guess I didn't think of it that way."

"Then you adopted Keith. You learned that from me, hun. And when you were both gone, I adopted a whole bunch of new cadets and proceeded to raise them. I'm a mama. That's just part of my personality..."

"I guess it is," admitted Shiro. "There's a lot of ways to build a family. You taught me that."

"When it came to marrying you I'd already made my decision for me, for my life, for what I wanted. So what really hurt when I realized you pushed me away, thinking I'd be better off, was that you were ignoring my agency and making a decision for me."

"You're right," said Shiro.

"You should've told me about how you felt guilty," said Adam. "Because I could've helped with that. But you shut me out."

"I'm sorry," said Shiro. "I'd convinced myself I was being selfless out of love, but I realize now it was selfish and my plan didn't work anyway. I didn't bargain a better life for you. I feel so guilty."

"Takashi, I'm proud of myself," stressed Adam. "I'm not sorry I died because I did it in the line of duty. I went out there as a squadron leader and helped lead the charge to defend Earth against Sendak's forces. Just because I wasn't successful doesn't mean I wasn't heroic."

"Of course," said Shiro, sitting back up. "I'm sorry." He was apologizing so much. He couldn't stop.

"You should understand. You gave your life a couple times, didn't you?" Adam got quiet then said, "Maybe I could've been at peace if I hadn't wanted to see you so badly." Adam gave Shiro a weak smile. "I know you leaving meant the end of us, but it's clear you had a destiny to fulfill. I'm really proud of you, Takashi."

"I couldn't have done it without you," said Shiro. "I wouldn't be who I am now if you hadn't helped me become it."

"You were already great," said Adam. "I just helped you realize it."

"I miss you so much," said Shiro.

Adam took his free hand and brushed his thumb across Shiro's cheekbone. Shiro leaned into it, allowing Adam to cup his cheek in his hand. "Did I ever tell you about the moment I fell in love with you?"

"No," said Shiro. "I fell in love with you on the Garrison rooftop."

"Shhh, my story now," said Adam, removing his hand from Shiro's cheek so he could press a finger to his lips. "It was orientation day at the Garrison."

"But we didn't meet on orientation day," said Shiro, interrupting. "We met on the first day of class."

"Zip it. I'm talking now," warned Adam. "It was orientation day and you hadn't arrived yet so I'd only met Reece and Mohammed before my parents took me out to dinner. I didn't get back until curfew and when I got to our room everyone was asleep including you. I wanted to check out the fresh meat so I tipped toed over to your bed to take a look at you." Adam was looking off into the distance like he was seeing it all. "The moonlight was pouring in from the window onto your face and you looked like an angel. You were so beautiful and I thought – well you know how I'm a little bit psychic?"

"Yes," replied Shiro, without rolling his eyes this time.

"I thought, 'I am going to marry that pretty boy.'" Adam sighed deeply. "I guess that one didn't come true either."

"Adam," said Shiro, the tears entering his eyes again. "Forget everything I've accomplished. Nothing would've made me more proud than to be your husband."

"Oh Takashi," said Adam and then they were kissing, clumsily, bumping noses and missing targets because they were both laughing and crying at the same time. "Maybe in another reality you're my husband."

"I hope so. You are the most amazing person I've ever met."

"I know," agreed Adam with a cocky smile. "I feel the same about you. I'm so glad I made you gay."

"You have to stop saying you made me gay," laughed Shiro. "I was always gay."

"Then I've brainwashed you well."

Shiro laughed, free and easy like he had a million times in school. "Have I mentioned yet I missed you?"

"Not nearly enough."