Chapter 12

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I can't find Carl, so I head back to the truck. Rick is here, loading his pistol. Glenn heads over after kissing Maggie goodbye. "You ready?" Rick asks us. I nod. Glenn says, "Yeah." We hop in the truck, me in the back while Glenn and Rick ride up front. Maggie goes into the house.

It's an eerie kinda of peaceful on the drive. There aren't any walkers, and the suns out, and few clouds are in the sky. It could be a normal, zombie free world, other than we have our guns and knives.

Rick parks the truck, and we start walking. I hold a knife at ready, while the men have there guns. Rick kicks the door open, and we walk in while Glenn closes it. "Hershel." Rick says to the man facing away from us. "Who's with you?" Hershel asks. "Glenn. Alex." Rick replies. "Maggie sent 'em?" Hershel asks. "He volunteered. He's good like that. I brought Alex 'cause she's the best with knives." Rick adds. He walks forward to Hershel, with us following. Hershel tips hai glass to his mouth. "How many ya had?" Rick asks. "Not enough." Hershel sighs. "Let's finish this up back at home." Rick suggests. "Beth collapsed. She's in some sort of state. Must be in shock. I think you are, too." Rick says. "Maggie's with her?" Hershel asks. "Yeah. But Beth needs you." I say. "What could I do? She needs her mother. Or, rather, to mourn, like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now." Hershel says sadly. "You thought that there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holding out on hope." Rick says. "Hope. When I first saw you running across my field,your boy in your arms, Alex next to you, I had little hope that he'd survive." Hershel says. "But he did." I say. "He did. Even though we lost Otis, your man Shane made it back. And we saved your boy. That was the miracles that proved to me that miracles do exist. Only, it was a sham. I was a fool, Rick. And you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that." He says while opening a new bottle of alcohol, and fills up the cup.

"So what do we do, wait for him to just pass out?" Glenn whispers. We've gathered by the door, Hershel still at the counter. "Just go. Just go!" Hershel says. "I promised Maggie I'd bring ya home safe." Rick says. Hershel chuckles. "Like you promised that little girl?" Hershel asks. I jerk. Rick walks forward. "So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?" Rick asks. Hershel gets up. "Stop telling me how to care for my family. My farm! you people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give ya shelter, and you destroyed it all!" Hershel shouts. "The world was already in bad shape when we met." Rick hisses. "And you take no responsibility! Your SUPPOSED to be their leader!" he shouts back. "Well I'm here now! Aren't I?" Rick yells back.

"Yes. Yes. Yes you are." Hershel says quietly, going back to his cup. "C'mon. Your girls need you now. More than ever." Rick pleads. "I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick, and I chose not to believe that! But when Shane shot Lou in the chest, and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been! That Annett had been dead long ago, and I was feeding her rotten corpse! That's when I knew that there was no hope. and when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face, I knew that you knew it too. Right? There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do, don't you?" Hershel exclaims. "There is no hope for any of us." He says quietly.

"Look, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. Cleaning up after you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death, it's always been there. Whether it's from heart attack, cancer, or walker. And now there's people back at home trying to hang on, they need us. Even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves. You know what? this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them." Rick said. Hershel finished his glass and stood up.

And then the door opened.

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