Addi couldn't remember the last time she had celebrated her birthday.

It was only a week apart from Cain's, so they used to merge celebrations. But then they got older. He didn't want to have a party with a bunch of girls, and she didn't want to have one with a bunch of football jocks. So they chose to separate. 

Cain kept his raving parties. And Addi just didn't. She never understood the appeal of a birthday party. And she only had three friends, so she couldn't have a huge gathering even if she wanted to.

It wasn't a big deal to her. She didn't feel like she was missing out on much. Sure, it would have been nice to have a bunch of people go to dinner just to celebrate her. But she didn't want to plan that and have only one person show up.

This year, though, her mother was insistent on her going over to Cain's house.

"It's always your choice," She had said. "But I think it could be good for you. We'll do something small, just us two families. We'll have a nice sit-down dinner. Cain's dad will be there. We can all connect. I think it'd be a good opportunity."

So Addi had agreed, albeit begrudgingly. It wasn't like she wanted to. But it would make her mom happier, and she didn't even have to talk to Cain. Also, she was promised an ice cream cake, and she'd do anything for an ice cream cake.

That was how she found herself on a call with Alexis, shaving her legs. Shaving them.

"Whose idea was this?" She whined, spreading oil across her shins. "This feels gross. And what if I'm all bloody after?"

She was seated in her bathtub in a swimsuit so Alexis could see what she was doing. She was pouring some cheap shave oil over her legs and arms.

"You won't cut yourself as long as you shave in the direction of hair growth." Alexis was putting on eyeliner for some party she was going to. "Trust me, you'll be fine."

Addi took a shallow breath. She lowered the razor to her skin. Once she got going, it was easier than she thought, but she still managed to nick herself a few times.

Once she was shaved, body buttered, and glitter sprayed to perfection, she hung up on Alexis. Then she did her makeup, curled her hair, and put on the shortest dress she had. She'd borrowed it from Lacey. It was pink with poofy sleeves and glitter on the hem. 

When she came downstairs, her mom started coughing. "Why do you smell like a beauty salon?"

"Thanks," Addi said, grinning. 

"Why are your teeth so white?"

"Whitening strips. Oh, and I flossed for the first time in forever."

Anna just sighed and shrugged. Addi was treating it like such a special occasion because it'd been so long since she'd done anything like it. She loved getting ready. She loved having reasons to get ready. It was a win-win.

Walking down the street in her heels was not an enjoyable experience, but she pushed through until she got to Cain's house. She took a deep breath (and a breath mint), and her mom knocked on the door.

Gracie answered this time. She was smiling from ear to ear. "Addi! You haven't been over in ages! And oh, my, you look like a doll." She hugged her, being careful to avoid her freshly curled hair. "Cain and Maeve are upstairs. There's just fifteen minutes until dinner."

Addi's heart sunk to her toes. Cain and Maeve? He brought his girlfriend to their family dinner. She was going to look like a fool, being so dressed up. And she reeked of cocoa butter and glitter. And she was wearing a super short dress.

She nervously ascended the stairs to Cain's room. It was too late now. She made sure to leave her heels downstairs, which made her look twenty percent less stupid.

The door was open, but she knocked gently anyway. Maeve and Cain were sitting cross-legged on his fur rug with a yearbook open. They were leaning into each other, cuddling and laughing. Cain's room looked different from the last time she saw it, but she tried not to study it too closely.

Maeve held a laugh behind her hand. She was wearing another short skirt with a casual baby tee. Her hair was thrown in a bun. She had no makeup on. Cain was wearing sweatpants and a tank top. His hair wasn't even brushed. And there was Addi, wearing a sparkly, short pink dress with curled hair and bold eyeliner.

"Are you going to the Met Gala after this or something?" Maeve asked, giggling.

Addi shrugged and came up with a lie. She figured that was easier than embarrassing herself further. "I'm going to a party with my boyfriend."

Maeve's smile fell. "August Woods, right?"

Cain looked weirdly surprised. His eyes widened in something akin to fear. But that didn't make sense. Since when did Cain Ridge care about Addi, or anything she did?

"That's right," Addi said, sort of proud. He was pretty popular in the school, although that wasn't why she said yes to dating him. She didn't know why she agreed. But when a popular hot guy asks you out, you say yes.

Whatever emotion Cain had been presenting was gone, replaced by the same coldness she'd grown to love. The same coldness that randomly appeared one day and had haunted her ever since.

"That's cool, I guess." Maeve made a point of pecking Cain on the lips and then leaned into him further as she scrolled on her phone.

Addi didn't know where to sit, so she just sat down on the floor somewhere, crossing her legs. She texted Alexis frantically.

addi: update!! SOS!

alexis: what??

addi: he literally brought maeve

addi: i cant make this up

addi: and i look stupid bc shes wearing super casual stuff

alexis: so what? that just means u look better babe

addi: you dont get it

addi: she was laughing at me

alexis: bc shes a loser??

alexis: she cant admit u look good 

addi: ok thanks but im in a crisis rn

addi: i have to sit thru a whole dinner of them kissing

addi: gtg his moms calling for dinner

Gracie's voice carried up the stairs, calling them down. Maeve didn't move. She just kept leaning into Cain. Addi tried to make eye contact with him, to no avail. A few minutes passed. Her stomach grumbled and she shut her eyes tight like she could disappear into the ground if she closed them tight enough.

Maeve laughed. "Hungry?"

Addi opened her eyes and faked a laugh back. 

Maeve stopped laughing. "Whatever. Since you're so hungry, let's go eat dinner." Cain helped her up and snaked an arm around her waist. They walked close together the whole way down the stairs.

Once down, they sat at complete opposite ends of the table. Thankfully, Anna sensed the tension and didn't bring anything up. Peter mostly carried the conversation. Every time he spoke, Maeve would squeeze Cain's hand.

I used to do that, Addi thought with contempt. The hand squeeze was my thing.

So Addi just kept her eyes on her plate and ate a little less than usual. Maeve didn't even touch her food. She listened to Peter and the moms talk. Afterward, when they were cleaning up plates and Addi was asked if she wanted dessert, she said no.

"Oh, no thank you. I better get going. I'm going to a party with August." Addi smiled tightly at Gracie and looked at her mom, nodding toward the door.

"Do you need a ride?" Anna asked, confused.

"Um... he's picking me up."

"Okay. I'm just gonna stay and chat a little longer."

Addi was going to drop another hint that there was no party and she just wanted to go home, but she could feel Cain's eyes on her, so she dropped it. She didn't say bye to him. She just walked out the door and down the street.

She kept walking, holding her heels in her hands instead of attempting to trek down the block with them. A few street signs later, and she had a text from Cain.

cain: come over tmrw, lets talk?

addi: when

cain: come at like 1pm, my moms doing brunch

cain: we needa talk

addi: ig maybe

Against her better judgment, Addi did want to go. She knew it was bad. She knew all of her friends would probably shout at her. But it was the first text she'd gotten from Cain for months. What if it was important? Even better, what if he was finally breaking up with Maeve?

Plus, she thought she contained her excitement pretty well. It could have been a lot less cool.

She looked down at her phone as it pinged again.

cain: btw, do u need a ride to that party?

cain: still got ur location. u r in the neighborhood still

addi: no

She turned off her location before she could think of the implications of him checking it. Not that she cared whether he cared or not.

Although...

There was some nagging part of her that sort of did.

He checked my location.

He still cares about me.

She hated how it gave her hope.