( I'm so sorry that I haven't been updateing like I should. Things on my end are not great at the moment are are goona get wores but I will try to update when ever I can.)

When you had gotten home, you had been so upset and nervous you couldn’t stop from throwing up. It got the point where you had nothing left in your body to throw up. You had made the right decision, Shuichi said so himself, so why did you regret it so much?

There was no way that a relationship between the two of you could work out. No way. Not now, at least. Maybe if you waited until he graduated, then you could start something, but would he be willing to wait? You weren’t sure.

The next day you had begged Noreen to hang out with you and make you feel better. You wouldn’t tell her what upset you, but she did her best to make you feel better. Later in the evening, she had called Minato and Kaoru to come over and hopefully help her cheer you up. You found out that Kaoru hadn’t left you the rose, and your thoughts instantly went to Shuichi.

The redhead wouldn’t leave your mind, especially when Kaoru’s hands were trailing your body as the two of you sat on the couch. His touch wasn’t the same as Shuichi’s. Shuichi’s hands were gentle yet demanding as they glided over your body while Kaoru’s were greedy. No matter what you did, your thoughts always compared Kaoru to Shuichi. It turned out Shuichi was a hard man to best.

By the time Monday rolled around, you weren’t really sure what your answer was. You knew you should say that he could no longer help you out and that’s what you planned on telling him, but you didn’t know if you would be strong enough to say it to his face. Maybe I should leave him a note? But you didn’t want him to view you as a coward.

You patiently waited for Shuichi to come after school as you rehearsed what you planned on saying to him. A light chuckle reached your ears and you turned to see Shuichi standing in the doorway talking with a teacher. His eyes connected with yours and he smiled wide before turning his attention back to the teacher. You soaked in his form. Tall, slender form, muscular underneath those clothes, physical features rivaling that of a God, perfect posture, and a wonderful personality. Could you really tell him he couldn’t help you out anymore?

“Have a nice day Mrs. Uru,” Shuichi said as he bid the woman farewell.

“You too Shuichi.” She smiled wide as she continued walking down the hallway to the stairs.

“Hello Miss [Last Name].”

You missed the sound of your first name leaving his lips. “Hey Shuichi.” You didn’t bother hiding the depression you felt.

You saw the briefest amount of concern flitter across his eyes before he retained that soft, serene expression. “I take it you’ve come to a decision.”

“Yeah,” you sighed out. “Will you sit down?”

He politely did as he was asked and he watched as you walked over to the classroom door and closed it. You didn’t want anyone hearing what you had to say in case you blurted out something you hadn’t planned on saying.

“Shuichi,” you said as you came to lean on the front of your desk and not sit in your chair. “I know what I should do and I know what I want to do. And quite frankly, I’m confused as hell. So for now, I suppose if you’re still up to it, you could help me out.”

He smiled as he nodded his head. “I would love too.”

“I can understand if you don’t want too because of my rejection and all. I’ll understand that.”

“Miss [Last Name], I would love to help you out.”

“I know you said that, but do you really? I mean, I’m being difficult here. I say no to you but then I don’t do the other right thing and ask for a new student. I’m giving you inconsistent messages and maybe it’d be better if you stopped helping me out. But I don’t want you too. I still want to hang out with you like we used to and have fun talking about whatever comes to mind; is that selfish of me?”

While you had been on your ramble, Shuichi had gotten up from the desk he sat in and walked over to stand in front of you. He was giving you that soft smile as he looked at you with a clearly amused look.

“[Name], I don’t mind at all.”

“Really?”

“Really. We can still be friends; I too enjoy our conversations we’ve had.”

You smiled as you stared up at the male. You knew he was standing too close to comfort had you not been attracted to him, but you didn’t want to back away from him. You simply stared up at him with that smile on your face as you took in his features.
“What would you like for me to do today?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t plan anything for you to do today, so I guess you’re free to go. God knows I won’t be doing anything productive.”

He chuckled and it still had the same effect on you; causing your stomach to knot in excitement.

“[Name], when will you get it that I won’t leave you until you give me something to do?”

You childishly stuck out your tongue at him and noted that his eyes turned a shade darker.

“You might want to put that away before I find something else for it to do.”

A shiver raked down your spine as you slowly brought your tongue back in your mouth. His voice was a bit deeper, laced with some lust as his eyes stared blatantly at your lips. Fire was coursing through your veins as you stared at the redhead before you. Subconsciously, you were aware that allowing him to be around you would not help either of you, but you wanted to be greedy once in life. So long as you didn’t do anything other than talk with him, you wouldn’t worry about getting caught, because you weren’t doing anything wrong.

With that thought in mind, you smiled brightly and poked him in the chest. “I know what you can do,” you began, ignoring his previous sentence. “You can go pass in my paperwork in the mailroom, alright?”

“Very well. Where is it?”

“Oh um…” you said as you turned around to look at your desk. “Go figure, I lost my paperwork.”

Shuichi chuckled as he stood behind you. “You have a tendency to do that a lot.”

“Yeah well, it’s because of distractions like you,” you retorted playfully as you walked around your desk to rummage through your draws.

He chuckled as he picked up your briefcase and began searching through it. “Are these them?”

You looked up and saw Shuichi holding the paperwork you needed to pass in. “Yes! They are! See? This is why I keep you around.”

“That’s good to know, [Name].”

“Oh don’t be such a baby. You’re getting hours for being used.”
He hummed a soft agreement as his gaze lingered on you. You felt your pulse increase slightly as his eyes didn’t lighten up in their intensity.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

He stared at you for a few moments before a chuckle rolled off his lips. “No, [Name]; there is nothing on your face.”

“Good. You had me worried with you staring at me like that.”

He playfully shook his head. “I’ll go run these down to the mailroom.”

“Good idea.”

He regarded you with a look before turning and heading out the classroom. You nibbled on your lower lip as you contemplated the decision you made. If you requested a new student, Hideto and Mimiko would ask why you wanted to switch. After all, Shuichi was such a lovely student. You couldn’t come up with a believable lie and you simply couldn’t tell them it was because you liked him, so maybe having him around wasn’t such a bad idea?

“Oh who am I kidding?”

“Miss [Last Name]?”

You glanced over to see Jiro. “Jiro, hello,” you greeted him happily. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well. How was your weekend?”

“Oh… it could have been better. What about yours? No parties I hope.”

He laughed. “No, no parties. I actually took my sister out to the mall. We got along pretty well, which is odd.”

“It’s because you’re growing up,” you said lightly as you walked around and sat in your chair.

He walked over and sat on top of one of the student desks in the front row. “So I just saw Shuichi leaving with some papers. He still helping you out?”

“Mmhmm, he is.”

“Do you need any more help?”

“Oh no. One person is plenty enough.”

You could see the slightly fallen look on his face. If you hadn’t heard all the disgusting things he’s said pertaining to you, you might actually find his attempts cute.

“You forgot to label what mailboxes these are supposed to go to. Oh, hello Jiro.”

“Hi Shuichi.”

“Shoot. Sorry about that Shuichi. My mind must have been somewhere else,” you said, locking gazes with the redhead.

A smirk spread across his lips while Jiro’s gaze was on you. You quickly looked away from Shuichi and looked at the clock.

“Tell you what. Give me those and I’ll put them away instead.”

“It’s alright Miss [Last Name]. I just need the mailbox numbers.”

“I know that, but I don’t know the numbers off the top of my head so it’s gonna take some time.”

“I’ll look them up if you give me the roster.”

You stared at Shuichi before resigning with a sigh. “Alright. Suit yourself.”

You briefly searched through your briefcase before pulling out the list of teachers’ names and their mailbox number beside it. You handed Shuichi the paper and he silently walked over to the desk by the door and sat down before beginning his task.

You turned your attention back to Jiro and smiled. “So you had a good weekend despite playing babysitter?”

He smiled as a light laugh left his lips. “Yeah. It wasn’t so bad.”

“That’s good.”

“Why was your weekend not so good?”

Your eyes flittered over to Shuichi but he was diligent in his work as he ignored you. “I had a lot on my mind this past weekend, that’s all,” you told Jiro as you met his gaze once more.

“Oh I see. Is everything settled?”

“… Yes.”

“That’s good. I guess I’ll be going then. I’ll see you tomorrow, Miss [Last Name].”

“Sure thing Jiro. And you better do your homework,” you teased him.

As he left, he shut the door. Your eyes shifted over to Shuichi and saw him looking at you with a displeased look.

“What?”

“He doesn’t talk about you in the most respectable ways,” Shuichi stated bluntly.

You slouched slightly in your chair. “Yeah I’m aware of that. But boys will be boys and sex is one of the many things that is on their minds.”

Shuichi said nothing as he sighed and gathered up the paperwork. He handed you the roster before exiting the classroom and going back down to the mailbox. A sigh left your lips as you placed the paper in the briefcase. What did Shuichi want you to do? It wasn’t like you could ignore Jiro. It was your duty as his teacher to humor him or else you could get a complaint against you.

Before you knew it, Shuichi was back in the room. You had been so engrossed in your thoughts of what you were supposed to do pertaining to Shuichi and now Jiro, you hadn’t even realized that the redhead was now standing beside you.

Gracefully, he leaned down, his hand gently pressing against your back as you were leaning on your elbows. His breath washed over your ear and you jumped in surprise at the soft sound of his voice.

“I’m going to head on home, [Name],” he stated as his hand gently rubbed your back in a soothing manner. “Is that alright or do you need me?”

A long sigh emitted from your lips. Yes, you needed him; you needed him to tell you that it was okay to be with him; you needed him to tell you that you wouldn’t get in trouble for being with him, that you wouldn’t get fired; you needed him to be there for you.

“No Shuichi, I don’t need you. You’re free to go.”

“[Name].”

His voice was soft, caring, and laced with a bit of concern as he squatted down. One hand resided on your desk while the one that had been on your back was placed on the arm rest of your chair. You glanced down at him and you could see the concern in his beautiful emerald eyes. You turned slightly in your chair to face him.

“What’s wrong?”

“You know what’s wrong, Shuichi. You’re not a dumb man.”
“Does it bother you that badly?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, suddenly feeling ashamed.

“If you’d like, I’ll tell them I can’t volunteer anymore and that way you’ll be free to get another student.”

“Don’t do that, Shuichi,” you begged softly as you rested your hand atop his.

“[Name] this is clearly bothering you. I hate being the cause of everything that’s upsetting you.”

“But I don’t want you to go.”

He sighed as his gaze left to look at the floor. For a short while, neither one of you moved or said a word. Shuichi was the first to move as he stood erect, regarding you with an unreadable look.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, [Name],” he said softly before turning and leaving the room.

You wanted to cry. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t you be with him? You could if you did it secretly. You could so long as you two never gave away anything. But would that work? The two of you were so noticeable even just moments ago. If anyone had walked by, what would their thoughts have been?

You shook your head as you placed it in your hands. He was a wonderful man. In fact, he was perfect for you. You knew you’d fall in love with him; you knew that. You also knew, if given the chance, you would marry him. Despite him being eight, nine years younger, you would marry him. Age didn’t matter anymore. But your job did… and so did your reputation. If word got out that you were romantically involved with a student, the consequences would be high. If only things were different. If only…