1/24/22

Hey, last night I learned that school is cancelled for today and since I have nothing to do I decided to get a new one-shot out.

Maya:That girl is so pretty
Omar: *Gasp* Maya don't say that, you're pretty too :(
Maya:Omar, I'm not jealous I'm gay

Xavier:Hello, *Looks at imaginary watch on his wrist* It's currently half past, I don't give a fuck

Jason: *Tries to put up a Christmas ornament but drops it* Opps, dang it! *Christmas ornament rolls and completes the message, 'I love you'*
Craig:...

(Adult)George:Someday I'm gonna own this town, *Takes a sip of his whiskey* AHHHH I DON'T LIKE WHISKEY IT BURNS TONGUE!!!!!!!!

Xavier: *Dead*
Toman:He told me to play this song at his funeral... *Plays the song Heather by Conan Gray*
Everyone at the funeral: *Sad vibing*
Xavier: *Dancing to the song in the afterlife*

Keef:I'm cold
Gordy:You're always cold, but I'd be dammed if you weren't my friend

Mark:The only thing there is to fear is fear itself and weasels! Those little bastards!

(Adult)Eliza:It's cold outside but I'm still looking like a thottie because a hoe never gets cold! *Spins around*

Tony:What about a candle that smells like you just blew out a candle?

Jane:Fine I'll drink it, but it's not what I paid for, it fucking sucks

Bobby:The sign says don't touch the gum balls, if they're not supposed to be touched then why they there then?

Jason: *Sitting by a styrofoam foam head with Elizas wig on it*...
Also Jason: *Pretending it's Eliza* Stupid bitch! *Starts beating the shit out of it*

Mark:So this guy came into work today-
David:Was he black?
Mark:Uh...Yeah, why-
Barry:Why does it matter if he's black?
Mark:But David's the one who asked!-
David: *On the phone* Hi, I would like to report a racist

Natalie: *On an amusement park ride and it moves slightly back and forth* AH!!! BITCH I'LL SUE YOU! STOP THIS RIDE!
Amusement park worker: *Starts the ride fast as fuck*
Natalie:AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Tony:What did you get in your happy meal? I got chapstick
Kelsey:I got a skateboard!
Tony:Aw D:
Kelsey: *Rides away on her new skateboard* Later, pussy!

Mark:Okay class, today we're going to learn about the Holocaust
Tony*Raises hand*
Mark:Wow, Tony the holocaust isn't something to high five about that's really rude of you
Tony:...

(Adult)Tony: *Working a drive thru* Hi what can I get you?
(Adult)George:I want to fucking die
(Adult)Tony:Same

Gordy: *Sees that his head is almost touching the ceiling* MOM THE CEILING IS COLLAPSING!
Gordys mom:You're on the tv stand...
Gordy: *Looks down* AHHHH!!!

Susan:How was your meal?
Omar:It was great, send my compliments to the chef
Susan:Okay. Hey chef!
Tien:What?
Susan:You have beautiful eyes :)

Xavier:Hey, I just murdered your entire family!
Jason:But I live alone...
Xavier:Then who were those people in your house?!
Jason:There's people in my house?!
Xavier:Well, not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could have died, you're welcome!
Jason:...

Craig:*Looks at sock puppet*What shall we do, weckus bockus?
Sock puppet:Kill him >:(
Craig: *Gasp* You naughty weckus bockus >:)

Cheyenne:Are you gay?
Kenneth:No
Cheyenne:Do your mama know you're gay?
Kenneth ... (Mentally:Fuck...If I say no, then I'm gay...)
Also Kenneth:Yes! *Realises what he just said* FUCK!

Mark:Kids, look at this tree-
Richard:Pussy!
Mark:Richard, shut the hell up!
Richard:Pussy!
Mark:I'm not playing these games!

Eliza:The tea is acceptably nice today....Who made it?

Jason:WHAT WAS THE REASON?!
Eliza:I just explained the reason!
Jason:WHAT WAS THE REASON?! WHAT WAS THE REASON, BITCH?!
Eliza:I don't need to explain myself to you!
Jason: *Screams even louder* WHAT WAS THE REASON?!!!!

Toman:Hey bitch!
Craig:I'll whoop ya ass myself! Yo girlfriend look like my mom! >:(

Craig:There is a vulture on my roof! *Gets out water hose* GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS NOT YOUR LAND!!!!

Bernard: *Spreads water all over the kitchen floor*
Nicole:Craig! Jessica! Come get ya juice!
Craig:*Runs on the kitchen floor but accidentally slides into the oven, breaking it*
Bernard:...

Jason:Hey, Xavier!
Also Jason: *Turns to Craig and kisses him*
Tony, Boris, Jp and Kelsey:Awww!
Xavier:STEP BACK I THINK I'M GOING TO VOMIT!

Xavier: *Ugly crying* Oh my god...I cannot handle this right now get out! Get out! WAAAAA

Xavier:Hi, grandma!
Xaviers grandma:Hi baby can you get in the oven and clean it :)
Xavier:...Bye grandma!

Tony:Excuse me, do you work here?
Jane:No, I just brought the entire company's uniform from goodwill :)

Kit:Hey guys, I'm depressed *Takes bite how often French fry* Gang gang

Jason:Who do you think the cutest person in this creek is?
Tony:8 ball
Jason:Well, I think it's Craig. Not cause he's...
Tony:8 ball :)