On D-day, I watched the sunrise through my window, wondering how I'd endure school without suffering a panic attack. I hadn't slept at all. Luc, Ben and Devin looked as cool as cucumbers.

They seemed to spend more effort making sure I wouldn't lose my sanity. Just this once, I had lunch with them off-campus and told my friends I had a doctor's appointment.

We went over each detail again, then I felt my faith was restored.

Luc drove me to his place to wait. I'd warned Dad that I planned to sleep at Emma's, so he wouldn't be a hurdle. It was sunny out, warm for late autumn, which was favorable for us. As soon as the engine stopped, Luc popped out and I followed him to the open trunk.

Or rather his oh-shit supply closet.

"Things you will need to carry on you," he began, stretching and rummaging through a black plastic bag. The first item was an orange flare gun, then a fully-charged headlamp to slide over my beanie. It looked like I'd be exploring a cave, Indiana Jones style.

I was handed a backpack with first aid, another flare and water. I should get used to this—this endless supply of goodies.

"In case you're cut off from Amelia..." He dragged out a safe and entered a quick combination. "Here."

Oh.

Another pistol was staring at me.

The classic Glock, but a slightly bigger model with night sights. I picked it off the support foam, checked the safety and waved it around. Baby was loaded. "Decked like this, you're sure I can't go down there and help?"

"No. I'm telling your daddy you hold guns like this."

"Sure, and let him know why you were giving me one." I grinned to his dismay.

He frowned, a bag handle in each hand. "You're absurdly chipper with gearing up for tonight."

In part, I was as eager as the bunch of them to get it over with. And then I needed to take responsibility for what happened.

I didn't want to make a wrong move and let him sniff out my queasiness, considering he disapproved of everything. "I'm just ready."

Luc took it for what it's worth. "There's also a whistle and knife in the front pocket—for cutting your finger."

"Like chum for the sharks," I said and mimed a slash to the throat.

The frown deepened. He tossed the bag into a corner and leaned over the trunk. "I hate that you're doing this."

I breathed in, enduring the creeping heat on my face.

"You once said that not everyone gets what they want, not even you."

"Yeah, I'm aware. I just expected some honesty coming from Little Miss Trust." The trunk slammed shut, and he made for the winding staircase before I could work any answer.

▲▲▲

I wasn't hungry but managed to nap on one half of the couch. It was pitch black through the bay window when I cracked my eyes open, and the fire was spitting in the hearth. He sat on the rug within its glow, elbows on his knees.

A crystal bowl of mini candy bars had materialized on the coffee table.

"Happy Halloween."

"Did you wait for me?" There were no wrappers near him. I quietly slipped off the cushions and joined him at arm's length, bowl in my lap.

"I'm amazed that you sleep like that." He dug around for a Kit Kat and ignored my question.

I was in the mood for Sour Patch Kids.

"Ha. I didn't sleep during the night. That's why."

Luc sighed. "I sleep like shit all the time. An owl, a branch, a door. I just wake up."

Dude had a stressful life, so no wonder. I was definitely to blame to a certain degree. But soon, he would no longer worry about the house. Even better, he might not have to bother with my existence after graduation.

I grabbed my phone from the coffee table. "I think you like this much more than I do."

He studied the sassy sun phone case, confused. "Why, so I can remember you or something?"

I nodded, nudging his arm with it.

"Keep it. I'm not about to forget anytime soon," he said in a dry laugh. "And you'll be back home before you know it."

I tried to imagine a life after this... experience. Somehow, it was the right word. A temporary warp in my life.

I'll cross the line back into the real world soon. Months will pass, and this will have become a bad dream. I would return home for college, just on my own. If things turn out well.

"I am sorry about going to Devin. But this is really important to me—doing something that might work. Maybe that does make me a hypocrite when it comes to trust."

He crunched his empty wrapper. "Well, at least you own it."

"Rude."

"I'll own it."

I didn't expect to settle it so fast, now I had nothing left to fill the quiet. My fingers raked through the fuzzies in the rug. Never would I have imagined I could be bored while my heart was pounding from the anticipation. What was he thinking about?

I peeped sideways, finding him contemplating the flames. Face blank. His lids were half-closed and the vivid eyes were split in two. Of all the things he does, sitting still seemed like the most stumping one.

He was never noisy or hyper, in fact I wished he'd talk more, and yet...

"Is there anyone that looks out for you? Protects you while you do this kind of stuff?"

He raised his brows lazily. "There's nothing to protect."

That couldn't be true.

"There's really no one?"

"No one," he repeated, and I couldn't grasp how it didn't disturb him. His head tilted. Our eyes locked. "Is that supposed to be strange?"

"You come when people need your help. If you're hurt..."

He waited for me to finish, though I never did.

"My body heals fast. Fractured bones, cuts, anything I've ever been through. After a certain age, I was on my own. All the strong ones are."

I might yell at the first adult I meet tonight. Mutant mojo be damned, this was not okay. "That's wrong."

"I'm the last person you should worry about, Sunshine."

I had so many rants to list against that, but wouldn't know which ones he'd care for. How was it so foreign to rely on others? He was older than Ethan, but it didn't justify all this extra responsibility.

If only I could pry that brain open.

He might start making fun of me if I pushed the subject, though. I looked at my lap.

"You wonder where my sister is," Luc started out of nowhere, head bowed. "She's dead, too. Her face is on the school doors, everybody thinks she's missing."

I inhaled sharply, turning around. This whole time, I liked to imagine she was somewhere, apart from him, but not dead. "What?"

He pulled a joyless smile. "Her and Emma were best friends. You would have loved her. Her healing ability outmatched anything I can do to this day. Lauren was irreplaceable."

"I'm going to take a wild guess that she was the one who saved the seniors and their hunting party, then."

"The best of us... can never seem to make it. She didn't even make it to eighteen."

Raw pain lurked behind those words—the kind that haunts you at night and weighs a ton during the day.

"How did she die? If... you don't mind," I prodded.

A vast emptiness shadowed his face. "Humans were involved. It put her in a vulnerable position."

That didn't enlighten me much, but the narrow insight was startling. "Does that include Emma?"

Luc slid his hands down.

"No, she'd be dead if it was the case."

"So... those ones are gone?"

"Dead and buried. I hope there's a hell."

Okay... I inhaled to calm myself.

I imagined how tough it must have been to deal with the attention when Lauren was falsely reported. Nobody who knew the truth could correct the story.

Devin and Ben were orphans, too. And how many others lost family like this?

"This is so unfair." I stopped, unable to put this in words. The burden. The pressure. "You deserve to be safe."

He stared into the fire heavily. "You complain that I never tell you things. I figured you're better off hearing about Lauren from me instead of believing the lies in school."

"I know you guys think I might turn on you somehow. But I'm not going to be a problem no matter what happens tonight. You will never have to worry about that. Never. Dad hasn't asked much about you since. If he tries, mum's the word. Scout's honor."

He scanned my expression up and down. At the beginning of the school year, I used to feel incredibly small when he did that.

I wanted nothing more than for him to believe me. Still, I couldn't help the little flip in my heart.

"You know, I expected you to lose it at first. I was afraid you'd make a lot of noise. You turned out very different."

"I can't be a coward."

He opened his mouth to answer but didn't get to as the buzz of his phone cut us off. It only meant one thing: the others were preparing their hike to the waterfall, which was our cue to join them.

✩ 

When Riley and Luc forget to be assholes

Story's coming to a close, feel free to lmk your favorite character so far or which one you relate to the most. My favorite one isn't in this book, so I can't discuss, and I'm going to admit that Riley is the character I relate to the least. 

I wonder if writers have this. I write better when it's a character that's distant from me. Other ones needed quite a bit of work to get exactly right, especially Luc.