A/N: IM AN IDIOT AND DIDNT CHECK WHEN I HAD TO UPDATE IM SORRY!

Also I was told that it's someone's birthday either today or tomorrow or yesterday😂 so happy birthday j4hnd1   And happy birthday in advance to StitchyIvy

Comment y'alls birthdays (if you want) 😂

3rd person POV:

Felix stood on the doorstep- Correction: FELICIA stood on the door step with Johnny and Chabgkyun both sides of him.

"Um hello?" The gruff voice of the hunter asked.

"Are ye just goin to stand there or let us in lad?"  Felix said

"Felix YOU ARE FRENCH! Not Scottish!" T said through the earpiece

"Oh I mean. Mové oût ZE wáy" Felix said waving him away with his hand.

"I'm sorry but who are you?" The hunter asked.

"Say your name is madam Ménage à trois" T whispered.

From the seat next to her Jisung asked

"Isn't that the fancy word for threesome?" He asked

"Yeah but Felix doesn't have to know that"  she replied.

"Are you kidding me? My name is madam Ménage à trois!" Felix said in a raised voice.

"Ahh so you're the person who created Ménage à trois?" The hunter asked with a wink

"...yeah whatever that means" Felix said moving the older man out of the way.

"Right this way ma'am" the hunter said trying to wipe off a stain.

"Ew" Felix said

"Huh?" The hunter said looking up

"Ew is french for of course" Johnny said saving the day.

"And who might you be young man?" The hunter said looking up at the giant.

"I am not allowed to disclose that information. That would be the same as me telling you my social security number" Johnny said avoiding eye contact .

The hunter let out a chuckle before patting Johnnys shoulder. To which the latter quickly wiped with a handkerchief.

"My daughter will like you" the hunter said. "Jasmine,come here" *insert Seungkwan saying ~jasmine*

"What the fuck do I do?" Johnny whispered.

"Pretend to be straight"  Felix whispered back.

"Well if we're depending on that we are gonna die" Changkyun interrupted.

A girl came running over who looked...not very attractive.

"Yeah" she said.

"Meet this young man" the hunter said pushing his daughter towards Johnny.

"Oh wow. Hello" she said batting her crusty, flaky eyelashes that were looking like tarantula legs.

"You speak English pretty well boy. Where are you from?" The hunter said

"I'm AMeRiCaN" the boy replied trying not to throw up.

"Do you want me to show you around?" The girl said with a wink and placed a hand on Johnnys shoulder. Which he quickly removed with a disgusted face.

"I'm gay" he blurted out.

The girl looked at him in a confused face.

"I thought you were aMeRiCaN?" She said

Everyone was silent for a second.

"Well this is awkward" Changkyun said quietly.

"Leave my bodyguard out of this you babushka" Felix said with a tut.

"Felix that's Russian!" T said.

"Oh yes back to business" The hunter said clearing his throat.

He led the three to a table and sat on one of the couches surrounding it. The three day on the opposite side and Changkyun put his feet on the table but Felix quickly pushed them off.

"So I'm assuming that you came here because of the advert on the radio" the hunter said.

"Yes that is why we are here whatever your name is" Felix said

"Sam. The names Sam" the hunter said

"Your parents were...very creative" Felix said sarcastically in a terrible french accent

"It's short for Samuel Smithsonite sonian Samantha Severus soligan sty" the hunter confessed

"Alright so what I literally just said without the sarcasm" Felix said.

"Just so you know these slaves are top tier quality and they are getting ready just for you. But they are very expensive because of that" Sam explained.

"Don't worry. Our boss is very rich" Changkyun said

"Oh really. Does she own a company?" Sam asked curiously

"No I am just a housewife." Felix said flaunting a ring he had put on his ring finger.

"Ahh so your husband must be quite rich then" Sam said.

"Say that he works at a pawn shop selling items used by celebrities" T said through the earpiece.

"He works at a porn shop selling items used by celebrities" Felix said.

Everyone looked at him.

"Goddamnit Felix you just made that sentence have a completely different meaning" T cursed.

"...So he must have good intentions for these slaves" Sam said in a dodgy voice.

"Yes" Felix said immediately.

"Could I ask how you are going to pay?" The hunter said.

"Me and my bodyguards will take a look at the ones we want and then if we chose to have any we will go fetch the money from the car" Felix explained using his accent.

"Oh of course. So would you like to take a look at them. I will escort you personally" Sam said standing up.

"Lead the way" Johnny said while the three stood up.

"My feet aren't killing me" Felix whispered to himself

Sam lead them towards the door but not before turning around and looking at Felix up and down.

"Your husband is a lucky man" he said

"Please keep your eyes to yourself. Our boss is already taken" Changkyun said with a sigh

Sam turned around before scratching his but which caused his trousers to slip a bit... letting them see his butt crack.

"I swear to god T. You better have bleach because I need to bleach my eyes and rinse them with holy water" Felix whispered covering his eyes.

"I saw it from the cameras. I'm already bleaching mine. Also just give me some water and I'll boil the hell out of it" she joked.

"Now is not the time" Felix replied.

"Right this way lovely lady" Sam said opening the front door for Felix.

"He took asking a girl out literal" Felix said to himself.

Sam led the three toward the shed near the border of the forest.

"They are spectacular. I hand picked them myself. I think you'll be impressed. They are in pristine condition" Sam rambled

"They better be" Felix said thinking about Chan

"Of course. Only the best for our clients" Sam said moving the bookshelf to the side. "They May be a bit on the skinnier side but that's alright. You yourself are very skinny." Sam said trying to compliment Felix, keyword: trying.

"*insert so you think I'm SkiNNNNNYYYY!*" Felix said quietly which only Johnny and Changkyun heard.

"What was that?" Sam asked wiping his sweat off his forehead. The bookshelf was obviously too heavy for him to move.

"Ah. ZONT ZE a Nôisy PerzOn." Felix said tutting.

"Do you need help with that?" Johnny asked.

"Nope I got it." Sam said.

"Any second now" he said trying to push the bookshelf.

"Almost there" he said breaking into sweat

Johnny pushed the man aside and yanked the bookshelf away.

"Now are you sure you're gay because my daughter could use a man like you." Sam said with a laugh

"Never been gayer" Johnny said since his gayness level went +6969696969696969 after those words left the mans mouth.

"Alrighty come on down and take a look" Sam said opening the hatch.

"Alright felix. You know what NOT. To say so say anything other than that" T whispered.

Felix knew what he wanted to say.

A/N:

This is random but does anyone else say they like coffee but in reality what they drink is 60% sugar 37% milk and 3% coffee?

That was totally random I am so sorry😂

But on a serious note today (for me) is the start of national suicide prevention week so if anyone. I repeat anyone wants to talk about it or just want to talk to me about random shit or ask questions. Don't be scared to Message me because I will always be free for y'all cuz you are all important to me.

ANYGAYS Onto our regularly scheduled

Meme/Photo time:

Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee