pls bear w me,,,, i just love the stuff slow and painful

A knock on the door mixed with guilt. A knock to unknown, another knock to responsibility.

Dahlia opened the door and pulled Crystal in, wasted no time to kiss her sloppily whilst trying to strip her out of her jacket. Crystal let Dahlia push her to the wall as the jacket met the floor and pushed herself towards her for a little friction.

Dahlia's hands found her messy hair and pushed her head back as she made her way to Crystal's neck to leave a little mark. She found the lips again quickly and kissed her hungry and lustful. Crystal remembered why she was there for a second and pulled away.

"Lia, we need to-" Dahlia cut her off for another kiss and squeezed her butt cheeks to guide her on her lap. She climbed her and gave another kiss before Dahlia pulled away this time.

"Shhh, I missed you so much..." She whispered to Crystal's neck as she made it into the bedroom. Dahlia let Crystal down to her bed and took her top off as Crystal did the same for herself. She climbed on top of Crystal, pinning her down before Crystal resisted and switched places with her.

Dahlia's hands were on Crystal's bra's hook as the doorbell rang. They both broke the kiss, pulled away with puzzled looks on both of their faces.

"I'll get it," Crystal said and got up from her girlfriend's. She grabbed one of Dahlia's cardigans and wear it over her bra. The doorbell rang again just a second before she opened the door without checking first. Her eyes met with Gigi, looking down hesitantly, the moment she opened the door.

"Gigi? What are you doing here?" Dahlia spoke from Crystal's back. Crystal opened the door further as Dahlia hugged her sheer robe, covering herself with her crossed arms.

"I'm-" Gigi was at a loss for words. What was she supposed to say? Hey, your girlfriend and I almost kissed and I thought you should know.

"Come on in," Crystal spoke before walking past both of them, heading to the living room with the open kitchen area. She poured herself a big glass of water as she heard the door closing and both of the girls settling in the living room. Dahlia was sitting on the armchair across the couch as Gigi was on the couch, sitting on the edge of it awkwardly.

Crystal sat on the other edge of the couch, just as awkward as Gigi before drinking her water at once and placing the glass on the coffee table in front of her.

"What am I missing here?" Dahlia asked, slightly panicked as she realized how tense both of the girls were.

"We need to talk," Gigi said, finally looking up to her.

"Gigi if this is about before I started dating Crys, it's really not needed," Dahlia answered with a little smile, looking more relaxed this time. "I know everything, she whined a lot in between the moans." She joked to lighten to mood as both Crystal and Gigi shuffled uncomfortably at their seats.

"Fuck, Crystal," Gigi whispered in between her teeth, her eyes back on the table.

"I was here to talk!" Crystal defended herself quickly, her voice cracking towards the end. She hated the position she was put in.

"It has been weeks, you idiot!" Gigi argued back and took her hands to press her palms to her eyes. "And you don't look like you have been talking."

Dahlia spoke again, her arched eyebrows high with assumptions she had. "I'm right here." She simply said, making the girls turn to her again.

"Right, yeah, sorry," Gigi examined her, sitting with crossed legs and her chest revealed, looking like the beautiful woman she was.

"I'm..." Crystal started but was at a loss for words. "I'm so sorry, Lia, I really am..." She knew she was making things worse but couldn't help herself from apologizing.

"Crystal, talk already," Dahlia uncrossed her legs and leaned in closer, putting her elbows on her knees as she played with her nails nervously.

"Remember the night we fought, and I left high and got stuck in the elevator?"

"When we were fighting about the threesomes? I remember," Dahlia thought back to how her girlfriend made a big deal out of them even though they've had plenty before that night.

"I wasn't alone there... Gigi was with me." Dahlia turned to Gigi with one of her eyebrows arched. Gigi felt herself get smaller and smaller under her looks.

"Maybe I should leave..." Gigi got up and grabbed her purse and jacket, ready to leave in that second but Dahlia stopped her with a firm hand gesture.

"No, stay," she said, turning her looks back to Crystal examining the glass on the table. Gigi dropped her shoulders and stood in her place hesitantly. Dahlia turned her eyes back to Gigi, "I'd like you to stay, is that okay?" There was only one right answer to that question. Gigi sat back down as they both looked like naughty kids from outside.

"We were arguing, and Crystal got close to me... In a threatening manner," Gigi felt the need to support Crystal, she felt just as guilty. "And I almost kissed her..."

"But you didn't..." Dahlia talked distantly; her mind was full of thoughts she couldn't comprehend yet. She was looking for a crumble of hope to hold on to in the words of the girls.

"No, I stopped myself," Gigi answered honestly but there was this warm feeling on her stomach every time she remembered their noses touching.

"But I didn't pull away," Crystal continued honestly, her bottom lip trembling already.

"But you didn't pull away..." Dahlia repeated her girlfriend as her eyes fixed on a point in between the girls, her eyes full of tears.

"Lia, baby," Crystal got up to sit before her girlfriend, to held her hands as she understood everything. Dahlia pulled her hands away quickly as Crystal cried in front of her.

"Crystal, give me space," she mumbled under her breath, barely holding her tears in. She sat up and run her hand through her hair as she fixed her looks on the ceiling to not cry. Crystal failed to listen.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she cried with her head resting on Dahlia's knees. Dahlia pushed her away slightly to get up, got into her bedroom as Crystal got up. She was leaving the robe on the bed they made out minutes ago.

Dahlia run her shaky hand through her hair again, looked around to room to locate her phone. She grabbed it quickly, grabbed her jacket without even throwing on a t-shirt and walked past Crystal to approach the door.

She zipped the jacket up standing before the door hesitantly and shoved the phone in her pocket. Crystal stood beside her, keeping her distance for this time as she turned around slowly.

"I'll just... walk for a while," she left with that. Crystal stood frozen in her place as she sniffled. Her brain felt numb, her heart was working overtime as the tightening feeling in her chest increased.

What was she supposed to do now? Go to her dorm, give her space? Or stay and wait, help her understand and help her glue her shattered her heart together?

Crystal hopelessly searched for her jacket and found a cigarette, on her way to the balcony she realized Gigi was still there. She was so lost in her own problems she forgot Gigi was even there in the first place.

"What now?" Gigi asked, making Crystal drop her arms defeatedly as her cardigan opens in the front.

"You should leave," Crystal exhaled for a long while. Gigi grabbed her purse, didn't even tried to argue back as she walked towards the door. Crystal hated to watch both Dahlia and her leave, but every one of them needed their space. "Why didn't you tell her I initiated the kiss?"

Gigi's hand froze on the door handle. She thought she was the one making it up all this time, thinking Crystal's intentions were never the same as hers. She never thought about the possibility of Crystal leading her on.

"You did what?" she asked turning back.

"You know I did it! God, now I have to complicate things even more..." Crystal trailed off as she played with the cigarette in her hand mindlessly.

"I never thought about it that way, okay?" Gigi's walls were up against Crystal, she left no room for any mistakes this time. "Let's not play the blaming game."

"Oh, you're the one to talk..." Crystal turned back and got in the living room, but Gigi followed her.

"Yes, I am! Can you stop with the 'but you blamed me' storyline?" She was practically screaming at this point. "You're not a child, you know it was a down moment for me."

"Down in what way, Gigi?! Down in 'I got cheated on again, I can't complain because Crystal warned me' kind of way or down in 'what if Crystal goes for Matt' kind of way?" Crystal clenched her fists, facing the girl.

"You see the common person there, figure it out yourself since you're the relationship master!" Gigi walked closer to Crystal still kept a little distance, remembering the way the last time things ended.

"You are the common person there, you idiot!" Crystal spat out the fact to Gigi's face. "You are the common person who doesn't know how to communicate at your age. Have you ever looked at it this way?"

"Oh because you are the most mature person ever, claiming you were here to talk when you are both half naked!" Gigi's eyes accidentally slipped on Crystal's chest for a second and the tension in the room increased even more.

"We haven't seen each other for a while, she is a surgical intern with no time for this bullshit," Crystal sat on the arm of the couch. "She will never forgive me." Her tone was lower, and her voice was husky after all the yelling. Her eyes filled again as Gigi turned around, still as mad and got out, slamming the door so harsh that it made Crystal jump.

Crystal stayed there for a while, only left when her body craved nicotine. She smoked but it wasn't the same with smoking with Dahlia. The little conversations they had on the balcony was special for her. She got back in, went to the bathroom to fill the bathtub, and make it ready for Dahlia. Crystal was certain she would come back; she was never the kind to run away from confrontation.

Meanwhile Dahlia was still outside, sitting in her car and unable to move. She couldn't gather her thoughts to form a complete one without getting distracted by another aspect of the story. She finally moved when she saw Gigi leave with fast steps, started the car, and turned around sharply to catch on her.

"Gigi!" She called, rolling the window down. Gigi got startled but stopped for her anyways. "Can we talk? Just the two of us?" Gigi wanted to say no and run from both her and Crystal but was too emotionally invested to run at that point.

"Sure," she mumbled and got in the car. Dahlia drove for a minute or so, until she found a place to park. She lighted a cigarette, reminding Crystal to Gigi and offered one to her. "No, thanks," Dahlia inhaled deep before talking.

"Do you still like her?" She went straight to the point.

"Is that what she tells about me? That I like her?" They were both looking away from each other.

"No, but I listened to enough stories of you to know for myself," she took another inhale as she turned to Gigi. "So, do you?"

Gigi hesitated at first. She didn't know Dahlia enough to foresee her reaction. "Yes, I do." A broken smile formed on Dahlia's face as she looked away. "Dahlia, I would never actively do anything to get in between you two."

"Never? You wouldn't ever stop halfway for a kiss with my girlfriend?" Gigi realized her mistake and hated her gut for guiding her towards the kiss. The stupid, non-existent kiss that still tingled her lips.

"Never again..." she mumbled under her breath, but it wasn't enough to convince Dahlia.

"How the hell am I supposed to trust you? Any of you?" Gigi couldn't answer the question this time. Dahlia threw the cigarette butt away, turned to Gigi as she watched outside. They stayed like that for a while, both of their minds full of chaos.

Dahlia started the car once again and drove to Gigi's dorm building in silence. Gigi opened the door when she pulled but didn't leave the car right away. "She wants nothing to do with me, you know that," she started, halfway out as her back was facing Dahlia. "As much as it shatters me, I'm over for her... Trust her for this." Dahlia stayed to pull herself together even after she left.

Meanwhile, Crystal spent hours waiting, finally gave in to drink a bottle or two of wine by herself in the couch. She changed to her girlfriend's pajamas, but the vanilla smell just reminded her the night of guilt. Guilt was a big part of her in these days. It was in the coffee she brought to Dahlia in between her shifts, in the t-shirt of hers she refused to give back, in Gigi's eyes when they meet every once in a while...

Dahlia arrived home after sunrise to find Crystal sleeping on the couch in her pajamas. She looked so peaceful sleeping with her curly hair frizzy all over face, but all Dahlia could see was the woman who didn't pull away from the kiss.

She grabbed a blanket and put it over Crystal as she shifted around. She got into her bathroom then, only to be greeted by burned out candles and a cold bath. She cried, still a little drunk from the night she spent drinking with her friends and left there quickly to stop in front of the living room's door in her way.

She held her hand on her mouth to conceal her sobbing as Crystal slept beautifully. I wish I didn't love you, she thought before leaving to sleep before her shift.