In which Schlatt is a mob boss, druid satyr named Head O'Lettuce trying to get back to his roots after a scandal and Ted is a stuck up, rich, high elf mage named Chet who's parents made him go on an adventure and earn some of his own money; Charlie is an orphan, rogue shapeshifter named Skrunkle Grimble.

Written partially in the perspective of the characters, every once in a while I'll zoom out and talk about the players. When we're talking about the characters its in italics, when we aren't it isn't.

A worn out satyr wearing a wrinkled button down with 4 buttons undone at the top and an untied tie hanging loosely around his neck slams back another honey tequila shot at the bar, hoping to be revitalised. The more shots of alcohol with naturally occuring ingredients, the stronger he gets, but the more he'll need the next time he wants that hit. His horns are chipped and his face is scarred, one long claw mark across his right eye. He has mutton chops and a goatee. On the other end, a pissed off, prissy looking high elf wearing an expensive looking navy blue cloak with gold, decorative trimmings as well as a tunic, corset, leggings, and knee high  boots with gold laces.. A beautiful, black, metal staff was strapped to his back and his arms were crossed annoyedly.

"Doth any hath a quest for thine fine rich person?" Chet snapped, yelling loudly.

"Uh, okay Ted, roll a...chari-no-persuasion to see if anyone actually listens." Y/N says, peering over her folder cover thingie.

The entire bar ignores him and he huffs annoyedly.

"Schlatt, can you roll investigation to see if at least you heard poor Ted?"

"WHAT?" Head calls, straining his ears. Chet walks up to him and asks again, to which the bartender says that he knows of one.

"Been a hunt goin' on as of late. Folks lookin for unlimited bacon, but strangely enough, not games. There are no more games, not since '99."

Schlatt snickered.

"There was a staggering amount of Chuckle Sandwich references in that sentence." Ted chuckled.

"You're gonna help me, uh- disheveled business man." Chet insisted.

"Name's Head. Head O' Lettuce. I guess I'll help ya', kid."

"Don't-don't fucking call me that. I am 150 years old. I'm practically an adult, you know."

Everyone laughs at that; it was clever.

A/N And, because I know I suck, that's all you get lmao. I'm setting up for a jealous Schlatt moment, maybe a fight, idk. But def a date night and some smooching.

But I'm also a really kind person. So uh, I'll continue it in a seprate story but rn I don't want to craft an entire dnd campaign while im working on a personal one seperately.

:3

Everybody tells me I should stop listening to rap music.

Hedgehogs, eh?

1999

Ted sent a pipe bomb to my house.

Then he sent me to the void dome.

It's empty in here.

kinda voidy

and domey

i have a gf now

kinda cool

but im stuck here, so

i miss her

okay

bye.

UwU

OwO

pounces

ur so warm

couldnt help but

notice ur buldge

from across

the floor

im not a furry

but fursuits are cool

and well made

ye