1.6 Pain of the Past

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Y/N and Cisco high fived in the lab. They both celebrated their recent victory. Y/N took off his suit while Cisco was thinking up a few names.

Cisco: Mr. Mardon is no more. "Mr. Mardon." That doesn't sound right. He needs a cool name like "The Twister" or "The Weatherman."

Y/N: "Wind Breaker"? "Tornado Watch"?

Cisco: Oh, I've got it! "Weather Wizard."

Y/N: That's actually pretty sick.

Cisco: Yeah it is.

The two clapped their hands together in agreement. Dr. Wells rolled over to Y/N with a grin on his face.

Wells: I must say, Mr. L/N, you were quite remarkable out there. Maybe with you running around we can do some good in this city.

Y/N: Thank you, Dr. Wells. But I couldn't have done it without you, any of you.

Wells: Well, thank you, Y/N. I'm sure we can find more ways to help. We still have a lot to learn about your powers. What you showed tonight was quite extraordinary and showed just what these gifts are capable of when put into the right hands. Right, Dr. Snow?

He looked over at Caitlin. The brunette was staring at the screen showing Y/N's fight with Clyde. Caitlin looked at images of Y/N and Mardon each using their powers. After a moment, she shook her head and walked off.

Caitlin: I need a moment to think.

She walked through a door into one of the smaller labs placed around the building. Y/N watched her go and looked at the others.

Y/N: I'll go talk to her. 

Y/N followed Caitlin through the door, shutting it behind him. He found her standing with her hands on her hips, lost in thought. She was pacing around the room.

Y/N: You alright?

Caitlin: Yes. No. I just...

She stopped and turned to look at him.

Caitlin: I just cannot believe it. Any of it. I can't believe what is going on out there. In just the past few days, you alone have broken every known law we know about speed and human physiology. And then you go out and defeat the impossible while doing the impossible.

Y/N: Like it or not, this is just the weird reality we live in now.

Caitlin sighed and looked at him. Y/N could tell that the very existence of these meta-humans was irritating her logic-based brain.

Caitlin: You're a scientist. You should be questioning these things as well. Yet you seem so willing to automatically accept it all as if it were the discovery of a mere speck on a leaf. What we have here is the impossible, something science cannot explain.

Y/N: Isn't that the point of science, to explain how the impossible is possible? 150 years ago, people saw a trip to the moon as a mere fantasy, but science helped get us there. Species thought to be impossible to exist have been rationally explained away by science. The same principal applies here. It only seems impossible now because science has yet to explain it. That's what we're doing here.

Caitlin calmed down, looking at him curiously.

Caitlin: I've seen your work. Not just your lab work, but your exploration into mythology and cryptids. Why are you so willing to easily believe in the impossible?

Y/N looked at her and exhaled. He bent down and sat on a bench in the center of the room. The young man folded his hands together, lowering his head.

Y/N: When I was 9, my parents were killed in a car crash. I was in the crash with them, but... I survived. And through everything that happened, the pain, the sorrow, the misery, there was one thing that stuck with me. I saw a flash of blue light. Standing in it appeared to be a figure dressed all in black.

Caitlin looked at Y/N, her eyes showing pity. She had no idea that was what had happened to him at such a young age.

Y/N: That same night, Barry's mother was murdered. He told me he saw the same thing, a figure in black standing between flashes of blue light. I spent years researching different myths and beliefs, something to explain it all. I know it wasn't just in my head. Recently, I was starting to think it was. But after seeing how I run, the electricity shooting out of me... I have to believe in the impossible. I have to think that something is out there, 'cause if I don't... What's the point in it all?

Y/N's throat was becoming dry just thinking about that night. He fought back burning tear filled eyes. Caitlin looked down at him, placing her hand on his back. After a few moments of silence, she gently grinned, thinking about something.  

Caitlin: You remind me of him.

Y/N looked at her, unsure who she was talking about.

Caitlin: Ronnie. He always searched for the unobtainable because he thought you could reach it if you just had the right tools. He always remained optimistic even during times of uncertainty. 

Y/N looked at her. He was quiet for a moment before speaking.

Y/N: What was he like? Ronnie?

Caitlin gently removed her hand. Her eyes looked sorrowful.

Y/N: I'm sorry. You don't have to answer if-

Caitlin: No. It's okay. I think it may help if I do.

The brunette moved forward, sitting down next to Y/N. She was quiet for a moment before continuing.

Caitlin: We met when we were working on the particle accelerator. He was the structural engineer. He liked to joke that he was basically a very high-priced plumber. We were very different. You might have noticed that I can be a bit... guarded.

Y/N: What, you? Get out of here.

She gently chuckled at his remark. Y/N smiled a bit as well at seeing her laugh.

Y/N: Sorry. Continue. 

Caitlin: That's another way you remind me of him. Ronnie knew how to make me laugh. He used to say we were like fire and ice. 

Her face drooped. Caitlin started to tear up a bit. It was Y/N's turn to place his hand on her back, gently rubbing it and letting her know it was okay. 

Caitlin: He wasn't supposed to be there that night. He was just there for me. 



9 Months Ago...

Cisco: Dr. Wells, we just got the latest weather report. A big thunderstorm is rolling in.

Wells: We're not launching a space shuttle. We'll be fine.

Cisco grinned at his mentor. He hurried back over to the central console, ready to start the accelerator. To the side, sitting in an offshoot lab, Dr. Caitlin Snow was looking over a monitor with her fiancé Ronald Raymond. They were talking about honeymoon locations.

Ronnie: Tahiti?

Caitlin: I know it's a long flight, Ronnie, but we can binge watch Orange is the New Black

Ronnie: Oh, okay. But what about Italy? Pizza and wine and more pizza.

Caitlin: Yes, but Italy doesn't have mai tais, and a honeymoon isn't a honeymoon without mai tais. 

She chuckled at his insistence and stood up out of her seat. The two met in a short, sweet kiss. 

Cisco: Dr. Wells, the accelerator is primed and ready for particle injection.

Wells smiled and walked over to join Cisco at the console. He looked around at everyone standing in the room.

Wells: Well, I feel I should say something profound like "one small step for man," but all I can think of to say is, I feel like all of us are about to make history. 

Everyone in the room smiled at their leader. Wells nodded to them all and pressed a button on the central console. It was followed by a mechanical whirring and the accelerator was on.

Cisco: That's it? You'd think there'd be, like, a loud bang.

Ronnie: If there was a loud bang, we'd all be in big trouble.

Caitlin: Take it from the guy who helped build it.

Ronnie smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling Caitlin close. The happy girl leaned her head on his shoulder, smiling brilliantly.

Wells: Ladies and gentlemen, we did it.

Everyone cheered. For the next forty minutes, everything was a success. Dr. Wells popped a champagne bottle and held it up in cheers. Then things started to get strange.

The liquid inside the bottle began to float and levitate out of its container. Everyone looked at it in confusion. Suddenly, a loud thud roared through the building, shaking the complex. It was followed by the sound of alarms blaring, the warning lights coming on.

Cisco: Was that...

Ronnie: A loud bang.

Wells: No. No, no, no!

Wells and Cisco began looking at all the monitors, searching for what could have gone wrong. They frantically tried to fix the problem.

Cisco: There's an anomaly in the core chamber.

Caitlin: The ring's structural integrity is holding.

Wells: It's started a chain reaction. The system is collapsing. We need to shut it down!

Cisco: We can't ramp down the accelerator from here. We need to do it manually.

Wells: Go!

Ronnie: I'll come with.

Caitlin: Ronnie, no.

She turned around, grabbing onto her fiancé's arm.

Ronnie: I'm the lead engineer. I know how to operate the shutdown valve.

Caitlin: It's not safe.

Ronnie: Cait, I have to go.

Ronnie pulled her head in close and gave her a deep kiss. He then turned around and followed Cisco down to the cortex. The two rushed into the loading chamber, Ronnie pressing a panel and opening the door.

Ronnie: Okay, you stay here. We've only got a few minutes before this thing blows, and if I'm not back in time, you need to initiate lockdown.

Cisco: No way. I'm not closing this door. I won't be able to open it again. 

Ronnie: Cisco, if you don't seal off the blast, everyone in this building will die, including Caitlin. Now promise me.

Cisco paused, unsure what to do. Looking at his friend's face, he nodded his head.

Ronnie: Set your watch. Two minutes.

Cisco pressed his watch, setting the timer for two minutes.

Cisco: You're coming back.

Ronnie nodded and turned around, running into the cortex. Cisco turned to the panel and began working on a different solution to help. A pressed a few dials, trying to redirect the energy output. He called over his radio.

Cisco: Ronnie, I've redirected some of the energy to be secured to the loading cortex above me. It could be funneled through the pipes and distributed safely out of the facility without compromising the atmosphere. It may be able to lessen the pressure and regain stability over the cortex.

Ronnie: No! It's too late! I can't shut it down. I need to redirect it through here.

Cisco waited. He looked down at his watch. The two minutes were up.

Cisco: Come on, Ronnie.

Nothing. Ronnie did not appear. Cisco looked on in sadness and fear, but he had a promise to uphold. He pressed the panel next to the door, sealing the hatch closed. At that moment, Caitlin rushed into the room.

Caitlin: Where's Ronnie? Cisco, where is he?!

Cisco looked at her with heavy eyes.

Cisco: He's still inside. 

Caitlin: What?! Open the door!

Cisco: I can't. We're in lockdown mode.

Caitlin: Cisco, we have to get him out of there or he'll die.

They both suddenly heard Ronnie's voice crack over the radio. Caitlin grabbed Cisco's hand, holding the radio up to them both.

Ronnie: Cisco, can you hear me?

Caitlin: Ronnie, it's me!

Inside the cortex, electricity sparked and surged. Ronnie was sitting with his back against the locked door. On the other side were his friends.

Ronnie: Caitlin. Is Cisco there?

Cisco: Yeah, Ronnie, I'm here. I'm listening. 

Ronnie: I adjusted the magnets to redirect the beam to try and vent the system so the blast goes up and not out.

Cisco: I'll need to reset the particle parameters to compensate.

Cisco handed the radio to Caitlin and rushed over to another panel to work on the system.

Caitlin: Cisco's doing it. There has to be another way out of there. You have to find it.

Ronnie: Cait, the chain reaction, I can't reverse it. The doors need to stay shut to protect you.

Sparks flew, causing Ronnie to hunch down and duck to avoid them. Caitlin was beginning to break down on the other side of the door. Her voice was cracking.

Ronnie: You still there?

Caitlin: I'm here.

Ronnie: Caitlin, whatever happens-

The feed cut out. The accelerator blew. The entire cortex was filled with a surge of red and yellow energy. The entire facility shook as the the roof was blown open, releasing the storm of particles into the atmosphere.

Caitlin: Ronnie!



Present Day

Caitlin was visibly upset, her face losing it. Y/N tried to console her as best he could.

Caitlin: If I hadn't brought him... He saved so many lives that day, and no one will ever know what he did.

Y/N looked at the distressed girl next to him. He gently put his hand on her shoulder. She looked over at him.

Y/N: I do. He was a hero.

Caitlin completely broke down. Tears started to stream down her face, her voice breaking. 

Caitlin: I didn't want him to be a hero. I wanted him to be my husband. 

Caitlin was filled with tears and distressed cries. Y/N pulled her in close, embracing her in a hug and rubbing her back gently. She sobbed into his shoulder, letting everything out.



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