A/n: Lum is so fucking cute.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

~

It was getting dark as you walked home from the store with bags in your hands. You had gone out to pick up some essentials that had been running low at home.

With Lum staying permanently, someone in the house had to make frequent trips to the shop to make sure there was enough food. The oni girl had a big appetite and was curious about many kinds of food, eating anything that was put in front of her.

While it did cost quite a bit, you didn't complain at all, since it was all worth it to see her happy. She was always happy around you, but it was good knowing that the things you were doing contributed to that.

As you walked along, clouds began to gather too and you felt a spot of rain or two, making you look up ahead the sky.

"Damn...is it really gonna rain? I thought the weather was meant to be okay this evening." You said.

"Oh well...I'll just get home quickly..." You mumbled, picking up the pace so you could get home faster.

There was a bright flash, followed by a rumble of thunder which made you speed up even more. You did not want to be caught outside in a thunderstorm.

Thankfully, it didn't start raining and you managed to make it home before the weather could deteriorate any further. Upon entering the house, you took off your shoes and called out to see who was home.

"Hey! I'm back! Who's home?" You asked as Lum floated down the stairs, practically flying into you wanting a hug.

"I am darling!!! Were you successful in your shopping trip-cha?" She asked, as you tried your best to not drop the bags of shopping you had as Lum tried hugging your whole body.

"Woah Lum! Careful! I don't wanna drop any of this!!" You said as Lum let go of you.

"Phew...thanks. I felt like I was about to drop them then." You said, smiling and giving Lum a kiss on her cheek before you walked into the kitchen.

"Why don't you go upstairs? I'll just put this all away, then we can hang out." You said as you started to unpack the bags of shopping.

"Of course darling-cha! I look forward to it!" Lum squealed as she flew back up the stairs again, into your room.

It took you a little while to put everything away in its proper place so that the kitchen remained organised, but you had little difficulty doing this. The only problem you were having, was finding your parents.

You couldn't find them anywhere downstairs and certainly could not hear them upstairs. This was weird since you didn't remember them saying anything to you about them going on any sort of trip.

"Probably just out together...they are allowed after all." You thought, shrugging before heading up into your room.

When you entered you found Lum laid on your bed, kicking her feet as she hummed a tune happily while waiting for you.

"Hope I didn't leave you waiting too long." You said.

Lum turned onto her side when she heard your voice, smiling sweetly as she shook her head.

"Not at all darling-cha!" She said as she pat the empty space next to her.

"Come and lay with me! You must be at least feeling a little tired-cha!" She said.

You did feel like you needed a small rest after having to walk around and do shopping, so you gracefully accepted Lum's invitation to lay next to her.

As soon as you assumed your position on the bed next to her, she put her arms and legs around you, holding you tight as she giggled and buried her face in your chest.

Before you could properly settle down, there was a flash of lightning followed by a loud rumble of thunder. It made both you and Lum jump slightly due to its spontaneity and volume.

"Got home just in time..." You mumbled as you settled down again.

However, the lightning storm didn't stop and actually became much worse. It got to a point where you got up from your bed to look out of the window.

"The hell is going on with this lightning storm? It's so intense. I've never seen it this bad before." You said as Lum pouted.

"Does it matter darling-cha? Come back and lie down..." Lum said, patting the bed as a powerful bolt of lightning hit a nearby street, causing a bright flash to light up the area.

You were temporarily blinded by it, but quickly regained your vision. Once you did, the light in your bedroom had switched off, hinting that the power might have been cut off.

"Power gone?" You asked, walking over and flicking the light switch which did nothing.

"Okay...that was odd. It seems to have stopped now." You said, looking back out the window.

The wind was still very strong, blowing around any leaves that were loose on the ground. There was then a sudden creaking sound as you got closer to the window.

A shadow started to rise in front of you, that looked awfully familiar.

"...Shinobu?" You said, dumbfounded as you realised that it was your close friend.

She had a very deadpanned look on her face, like she was very unimpressed by her current situation.

You opened the window to talk to her, but were cut off when you looked down and saw that she was sat on the head of a large creature with glowing red eyes.

In the dark, you could just about see that the creature had red and black striped fur like a tiger, with horns on its head. The creature let out a loud roar and rose up, lunging through the window and into your room, bringing Shinobu with it.

You quickly moved out of the way before the creature could collide with you, managing to catch the falling Shinobu in the process.

"Shinobu?? Are you okay?! What the hell is going on?" You asked as Shinobu shook her head and regained her senses.

"Y-Y/N? I'm...not really sure what's going on..." Shinobu said as the two of you looked at the creature which began to glow and shrink.

As it shrunk, it also morphed into a male humanoid form, his outfit had the same tiger pattern as his fur. For a few moments, everything was silent as everyone stood around, processing what was going on.

"...who the hell is this guy?!" You exclaimed, finally breaking the silence.

"Rei...?" Lum said as she slowly stood up and tilted her head.

"Lum." He replied, turning to look at her.

"You know him Lum?" You asked, looking between her and him.

"I do." She began, a little reluctant to continue before she sighed and decided it was best to say.

"He's...my ex fiancée." She said.

You took a few moments to process what she just said. It raised a lot of questions in your mind, but even in your confused state, you didn't want to bombard her and make her feel uncomfortable.

So you composed yourself before starting to talk again.

"An ex? How come it didn't work out?" You asked.

"You saw what he's truly like! He may look like a handsome hunk now, but that creature we saw is his true form!" Lum said, pointing a finger at Rei.

"He is a glutton!! All he cares about is food! He never even once treated me in the same way that you do darling-cha!" Lum said, pouting in annoyance as some old memories came back.

"Lum." Rei said, trying to reach out to her but getting shut down by Lum.

"Go back home Rei! I'm not getting back with you!" She exclaimed, becoming more and more agitated the longer Rei was there in the room.

"Lum...maybe you shouldn't be so mean to him. Maybe...he wants to make up with you." Shinobu said, still in your arms since you hadn't put her down yet due to shock.

"Heheeee...it feels so good to be in Y/N-Kun's arms..." She swooned.

So it was obvious that she really didn't mind at all.

"I don't care!!! I don't ever want to be with this glutton again! He's just...just...a big jerk-cha!!!" Lum huffed in annoyance, sticking out her tongue at Rei, who looked a little hurt after that.

"Well it's obvious you don't harbour any feelings for him anymore. That makes things a little easier." You said, finally coming back to your sense and placing Shinobu on the ground.

Much to her dismay.

"Of course-cha! I am yours and yours alone now darling!!" Lum said, flying over into your arms, taking Shinobu's place.

Again, much to the girls dismay.

Lum couldn't pass up the opportunity to rub it in either, sticking out her tongue in a teasing way to Shinobu, before clinging to you tighter.

"Oh you might already be his wife...but this ain't over. I'll be one as well. Just you wait..." Shinobu thought, narrowing her eyes.

"Lum." Rei said, looking even more hurt when he saw Lum fly over into your arms.

He looked between you and her, the look in his eyes changing between hurt and anger.

"I'm not gonna lie Lum...but your ex looks really jealous. I feel like he's try and kill me or something." You said.

"I won't let him! And anyway, I've made it clear so many times that we're over! He must've followed me to Earth to keep trying to convince me to get back together!" Lum said.

"Well it's not happening! Get lost-cha!" Lum stuck her tongue out at him again.

"That's...only pissing him off more. I think you should stop there Lum." You said, knowing that all this was on the brink of spilling over.

"But he's such a big jerk who loves food more than he loved me!! I thought he would be perfect, but he's just a big fake!" Lum pouted again and turned her head away, not facing Rei at all.

"...maybe you should try and make up with him though. After all...he is an oni too. What if...he was a better match for you than Y/N?" Shinobu asked, immediately gaining an angry Lum's attention.

"How dare you suggest that-cha?! Are you insinuating that my darling is not good enough for me-cha?!" Lum exclaimed, getting her teeth as electricity began to build around her.

"N-Not at all! Y/N is far from inadequate as a partner! It's just...will human and oni work out? Wouldn't it be better to go home and marry one of your own kind?" Shinobu asked.

Lum raised an eyebrow and slowly moved herself out of your arms and stood on her feet.

"Oh...I think I know what you're trying-cha." Lum said.

"You're trying to break me and my darling up so you can be with him-cha!" She continued, a smirk forming on her face as she put her hands on her hips.

"You cannot fool me! I know how much you love my darling as well-cha!" Lum pointed at Shinobu.

"You shall never break us up! I love my darling more than anything-cha! If you want him, you'll have to get through me!" Lum said as Shinobu stood up to face her down.

"Challenge accepted...I ain't scared of you." She said, narrowing her eyes.

As the two girls quarrelled, you sat watching with Rei who had calmed down since you produced a box of cookies and placed them on the table for him. He was busy gobbling away at them as you glanced between him and the arguing girls.

"Guess Lum wasn't wrong about him being a glutton..." You thought as you looked back at the girls.

"I always knew Shinobu had feelings for me since she last broke up with Ataru. It's become more and more apparent over the last few weeks. If not for Lum, I probably would've already asked her out." You thought, looking down at the ground.

"Does that kind of dynamic work? Is it even legal? I don't want to let either of them down. Especially since I've technically already married Lum...even if it was an accident and only in verbal form." You sighed and rubbed your head gently.

"And who knows how long Lum's ex is gonna be around? Plus, I know Ran hasn't left either. Why is it that now, more and more aliens just seem to show up in this town?" You thought.

"Tomobiki really is becoming one strange place..."

[To Be Continued]