The screen on Lauren's phone turned off after a few seconds and Camila finally tore her gaze away. Her mind shut down, and a broken record took over. "Oh my God," were the only words running through her mind. Her heart hammered in her chest as she took out her cell phone again. With shaking fingers she pressed the buttons. Calling Laura...appeared on the screen. She didn't bother putting the phone to her ear. She simply watched Lauren's, thinking perhaps it had been a coincidence. Or a trick of the lights. Or proof that she needed to get glasses.

But then, there it was. A ringtone with a song she didn't recognize. Incoming call from Camila.

"Oh my God," and this she said aloud. She stood because sitting felt impossible.

Lauren was already walking back, and Camila looked up just in time to see the actress freeze mid-step. Comprehension dawned. For the longest time, neither said anything. The phone on the kitchen counter continued to ring.

Camila snapped her cell phone closed and silence fell over them.

"I was just about to tell you," Lauren said softly.

Snippets from emails and phone conversations suddenly flashed through Camila's mind. All of that... had been Lauren Jauregui? She sat back on the stool, because now standing felt impossible. There was no Laura. There had never been a Laura. It was this that shocked her. It was this that was unfathomable. And still she couldn't formulate any words.

Lauren took a tentative step forward. "Camila... I..."

There was nothing after that and Camila forced herself to look up, to look at Lauren Jauregui and dare her to continue.

"I don't know where to begin," Lauren said. "I thought it would come to me once you were in front of me but..."

The silence was unbearable, but Camila didn't know what to say. She barely knew what to feel.

"I never meant to lie to you," Lauren began suddenly. "I fell in love that day in Central Park when I saw your sketch on that table. I... I've never felt like I had to have something quite so badly before. And I took it home and I had it framed and I would stare at it, and I know it may sound crazy but it made me feel... I don't know. It made me feel... better; less alone. And I thought you'd want to know that I loved it. Only, I couldn't tell you who I was because I didn't think you'd believe it. And because I have this thing about privacy, too. And really all I wanted was for you to know that it meant something to me, you having created that sketch. It affected me, somehow."

Camila only stared at the actress because she couldn't yet muster a reaction. The words weren't quite sinking in. All she could think about was how one moment she'd had a friend in California and now... what? What was she left with?

"I know you must think I'm a horrible person," Lauren continued. "I hadn't expected that the emails would continue or that they would spiral into something so..." She let the sentence hang, and picked up another. "I didn't want the fact that I'm Lauren Jauregui to taint the way you saw me."

Lauren looked so pained that Camila looked away for fear that she'd be tempted to comfort the actress. She suddenly felt too many things at once. She felt a rush of anger and sadness and a lingering sense of loss. Mostly she felt tired. The fall-asleep-and-wake-up-days-later kind of tired.

"Please say something."

The actress' voice was soft and pleading and Camila forced another glance at Lauren. "I think I should go," she said.

******************

"Please don't." She sounded pathetic even to her own ears. She couldn't begin to imagine how she sounded to Camila. This wasn't at all how Lauren had envisioned things. Camila wasn't supposed to figure it out. Not today. Not moments before Lauren was about to tell her.

Camila's face revealed nothing of her thoughts, and Lauren had no idea what was going on behind those beautiful brown eyes. "Why not?" She met Lauren's gaze. "What do you want me to say? That it's okay? That I understand? Well, it's not okay and I don't understand. So I think it's for the best if I go."

Lauren's vision blurred with tears and she looked away. She wouldn't cry. Not now. Not in front of Camila. "Okay," she said, forcing the emotions out of her voice. Camila passed by her and Lauren turned to watch her go. A part of her hoped that Camila would turn around and say something else, something to soften the blow of the departure. But she didn't.

The front door echoed through the apartment as it slammed shut.

*************************

Camila couldn't remember getting back home. She couldn't remember anything beyond walking out of Lauren Jauregui's apartment. And now she was standing in front of her door, staring at the number as if it might suddenly come to life and make everything better. She sighed and unlocked the door. She could hear music coming from Dinah's bedroom the moment she stepped inside and she suddenly regretted coming home.

She almost turned around to head back out, but Dinah wandered out of her room at that very moment.

"Oh, you're back," Dinah said cheerfully. "Guess what?"

Camila kicked the door closed and tried not to sigh at her best friend. "What?"

"Normani Kordei called to invite me to a party." Dinah all but bounced as she said this."And because I'm the greatest friend in the whole world, I asked if I could bring you, and she said yes!"

Camila had never felt more depressed. "A party?"

Dinah was grinning. "Yeah! For the movie. The whole cast's going to be there."

That was all Camila needed: a party with Lauren Jauregui. "Thanks, but I'll pass." She brushed against Dinah as she passed.

"I'm sorry, was I speaking Chinese just now?" Dinah trailed after Camila. "This is a big deal."

"Yes, for you it's a big deal." Camila was in an awful mood and Dinah wasn't helping. She shouldn't have come home. She should've gone for a walk through the park or stopped for coffee somewhere. Once in her room, she began removing her coat.

Dinah leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. "What's wrong?"

Camila dropped her scarf on the bed and took a deep breath. She considered, for the briefest of moments, telling Dinah everything that had just happened. But Camila wasn't altogether certain what had happened, other than she'd simultaneously lost an employer and what appeared to be an imaginary friend. "Just stupid people in the subway pissing me off," she said instead.

"Yes, but I guarantee none of them are invited to Normani Kordei's party," Dinah said, and smiled.

Camila forced a smile in return. Dinah didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of Camila's bad mood.

"Look, the party isn't until Saturday and hopefully by then you'll be free of cramps and PMS."

"Dinah, I hate parties. You know I hate parties. Why would you drag me to this?"

"Because this isn't just a party, Camila. This is a celebrity gathering. Forget stupid college parties. Those are way behind us now. We're stepping into an entirely new world of social interaction."

Camila dropped down on the bed. "Fine," she said, not meaning it. On Saturday she'd come down with a migraine. Or a cold. Or whatever would get her out of having to go.

But for now, Dinah looked satisfied and that was enough for Camila. Her best friend mercifully retreated from the bedroom and Camila closed the door. Alone with her thoughts, she returned to the bed and lay down.

There was no Laura.

This was still the thought going through her mind. There was no funny, mysterious girl in California who liked to read books that Camila would never dream of reading on her own. There was no one to text message during class, out of boredom, and no one to text her back.

There was no one to email in the middle of the night.

Her thoughts inevitably turned to Lauren Jauregui. The actress' words were still dancing around in Camila's mind and Camila still didn't know how to feel. Somewhere between Lauren Jauregui's apartment and her own, the anger had dissipated. But the confusion remained.

There was no Laura. But there was a Lauren. A Lauren that liked to cook random and elaborate meals for no apparent reason. A Lauren that dressed simply but lived extravagantly and who seemed to have a very strong and mystifying aversion to furniture.

Camila frowned at the ceiling. Maybe she should have stayed and talked things through. Maybe she had been hasty in her departure and entirely too cold in her reaction. The memory of Lauren's tear-filled green eyes flashed suddenly through Camila's mind and she felt a sudden flood of regret for having walked out.

But were those tears real? How did you trust someone who'd lied to you for months? How did you trust someone who played pretend for a living?

How much of Laura was Lauren? And how much was a lie?

*************************************

Lauren had been surprised by the knock at the door and she had rushed to answer it, thinking—hoping—that perhaps Camila had returned to continue the conversation. But it was a false hope, and she knew it before she checked on the identity of her visitor. Sighing, she opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

Ally smiled and held up a bag. "Getting you really drunk."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

Ally put the bag down. "You look like shit," she said.

"Goodbye, Ally." Lauren closed the door and started to move away. But the knock came again. "I'm not in the mood!"

"You have to talk about it," came Ally's voice from the other side.

"I really don't."

"Well can I at least use your bathroom?"

Lauren hesitated. "How do I know you're not lying?"

"Because you're my boss and I would never dream of lying to you."

Lauren rolled her eyes but opened the door. "Make it quick."

Ally rushed in and headed toward the kitchen. "Haha, sucker!" She laughed. "I'm putting the vodka in your freezer!"

Lauren wasn't in the mood for this. She swung the door closed and headed up to her bedroom. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers over her head. Maybe if she ignored her, Ally would go away.

Lauren closed her eyes in the darkness beneath her comforter. She felt like a mess. After Camila had gone, Lauren had read the text message Camila had sent earlier in the day. There were also a bunch of missed calls that must have come while she'd been on the phone with Normani. Camila must have suspected something. And it was almost inevitable that she would eventually. But did it have to be today?

She heard Ally on the stairs and a moment later, the covers were yanked away.

"This isn't good," Ally said, tossing the covers off the bed entirely. "Depression doesn't suit you. Come on. Talk to me."

"What is there to say?" Lauren crawled across the bed to get the covers back. "She hates me, which is the least depressing of my thoughts. At this point I'm merely hoping that she hates me. If she hates me at least that means she cares. If she doesn't hate me then that leaves... what? Indifference. Ugh." She pulled the covers over her head again.

Ally sighed and sat down at the edge of the bed. "If she were indifferent she wouldn't have walked out. She would've said... I don't know... 'pass the cheese.'"

Lauren frowned and pushed the covers aside. "'Pass the cheese?'"

"I don't know! I don't know what indifference sounds like."

"But 'pass the cheese'? Who says 'pass the cheese'?"

Ally thought about it. "Mice?"

Lauren rolled her eyes and sat up. After a moment, she said, "I hate this. I mean, I saw it coming but..."

"Give her time. She'll come around."

But Lauren shook her head. "I don't want to believe that. I can't believe that. It's better if I just have no hope at all."

"Look, you're going to be acting in the same movie as her friend, so odds are you're going to see her again anyway."

Lauren covered her face with her hands. "I had totally forgotten about that." She had forgotten entirely about Dinah. "What if Camila tells Dinah everything? What if Dinah gets pissed off and decides to out me?"

"Then we'll deal with it," Ally said calmly.

It sounded so rational coming from Ally's lips that Lauren had no choice but to believe it.

She sank back into her pillows. "I'm tired," she said, hoping Ally would take the hint.

Ally looked at her with concern but nodded. "Fine," she said. "But I'm leaving you the vodka."

Lauren almost smiled. "Thanks for coming by to check on me."

Ally stood. "You're welcome. Adrian wanted to come, too, but his idea of cheering you up was bringing over porn and ordering a stripper. So I told him I could handle it."

"And thanks for that too."

Ally paused on her way down the stairs. "I do think she'll come around," she said, and then continued on her way.

Lauren listened for the sound of the front door and when it came, she let out a breath. Camila might forgive her, she knew, but it was more likely that she'd never want to talk to Lauren again. And as much as it killed her to sit by and do nothing, doing something felt inappropriate. She couldn't call and she couldn't just show up at Camila's doorstep. Emailing was a silly idea, and text messaging was worse.

So she was left only with waiting and secretly hoping for the best.

***************************

Camila woke to the sound of a car commercial on television and she watched the flickering images on the screen until her mind began to clear. She sat up on the couch, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. And then she heard the knock on the door.

Yawning, she stood up, wondering at the time. The light in Dinah's room was off and the door was open, which meant her roommate was out. Did Dinah work that night? Camila couldn't remember. She hated naps. Time always felt displaced afterwards. She reached the door and paused with her hand on the lock. "Who is it?" she called, and wondered if anyone anywhere would honestly answer, "a murderer."

"It's Ally. Ally Brooke."

The name sounded vaguely familiar to Camila's fuzzy mind, and the door was halfway open before she fully remembered who it was.

Lauren Jauregui's assistant stood in the hallway, looking hesitant. "I'm really sorry for showing up like this," she said.

Questions floated through Camila's mind. "How did you know where I live?"

"Normani Kordei gave me the address," Ally said, and had the decency to sound embarrassed about it.

The name Normani Kordei also sounded familiar but Camila couldn't quite remember who that was. Someone from Dinah's movie?

"Look, before you ask, Lauren didn't send me here. In fact, she'd kill me and possibly fire me if she knew I was here."

Camila felt awkward standing there in the open doorway. She could almost hear her mom's voice in her head yelling at her about manners. "Do you want to come in?"

Ally looked grateful and smiled slightly as she entered. "Is your roommate home?"

Camila shook her head as she closed the door. "No, she seems to be out."

Ally looked relieved. "Look, I don't want to impose. And I probably shouldn't even be here talking to you about this, but I thought... I thought maybe I could help."

It was odd how so much of her real life felt like a dream these days. Camila stepped into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thanks, I'm okay."

Camila took a bottle of juice out of the fridge and filled a glass. "So, how would you like to help? Are you here as Lauren Jauregui's character witness?"

"I guess. She's not... she's not who you think she is."

Camila snorted and put the juice back in the fridge. "Well, that much I learned already."She motioned to a chair, but Ally shook her head.

"Look, I get that her lying to you was awful, but you have to understand where she's coming from," Ally began. "She's not some unfeeling asshole that gets her kicks from hurting people. That artwork she bought from you at the park... she honestly loves it. She had me cart it to a dozen different places until she found a frame she liked. And it's not because she's picky about such things normally. She just wanted it to be perfect."

Camila put the glass of juice down as a way to show that she was listening.

Encouraged, Ally continued. "And her writing to you... that was huge for her. I've known Lauren for years and she's never done anything of the kind. She's a very private person, especially lately because she's so popular. And her lying to you may have been partly to protect herself, certainly, but it was mostly because that was the only way she had of being herself and of knowing that you were genuine. She doesn't get to experience that often, if at all. She's constantly surrounded by people with hidden agendas. And so befriending you was special to her, because she didn't have to worry about you wanting anything from her, or you simply talking to her because she's famous." Ally breathed. "Sorry if I'm rambling."

Camila was quiet as she mulled over Ally's words. She shrugged and sat down. She felt too emotionally drained to stand. "I understand," she said. "But I still don't know what she wants from me."

Ally seemed to sigh, and after a moment, she too sat down. "I don't think she wants anything. But I know your friendship's important to her." She watched Camila for a moment. "Look, I have no idea what the two of you wrote to each other. Lauren never discussed these things with me or with anyone, for that matter, so I can't comment on the particulars. But you kept emailing her, so I'm assuming you found something worth liking in the person you were writing to."

"I did," Camila admitted, thinking of the emails and the phone calls and the text messages. "I liked her very much."

Ally nodded. After a moment, she said. "I have to admit I'm kind of envious of you. For years I wanted Lauren to open up to me and be herself around me because I could see traces of who she really is as a person, especially around Adrian. And I've gotten a lot closer to her, particularly over the past few months. But there's still a bit of a wall with her. There's always a bit of distance. But she has none of that with you. She'd lay her secrets at your feet if you asked her to."

Camila didn't know what to say to that. She didn't even know quite what to make of it.

"I've embarrassed you, I'm sorry." Ally gave a somewhat sheepish grin. "I'm just saying...she's still the same person you were writing to. All that's changed is her name, which is technically her birth name. And I know that your feelings on the subject must still be incredibly raw and confusing. But I wanted to give you some perspective on everything. I doubt you'd trust these things coming from her. I'm not even sure she'd know where to start defending herself. She feels awful."

Camila only nodded. She still didn't know how to feel about everything. Understanding why someone did something was a long way from overlooking it. And still, there were questions.

"Why did she tell me she was a lesbian?"

Ally looked surprised. She looked down at the table. "I think you should probably talk to Lauren about that." She sounded nervous.

Interesting, Camila thought. She'd been expecting a different reaction. A laugh, maybe, to show how ridiculous the notion was. But Ally looked uncomfortable. Could it be? Had