Blair POV.
•••

I know what it looks like, well it probably looks like I'm like a whore. But I'm not, I'm just a girl with stupid life choices.

We have decided to drive straight to the beach house after dinner. Apparently the boys did not want to receive a talk from their mother. The rest of the dinner was sat in awkward silence.

So I'm in the car, with Emma and Noah. "You're kidding." Noah says looking back from his chair. We had just picked him up and told him about the latest dinner events. "But aww, he loves you." He's been awing about that since I've said it. "You're dumb Blair."

"Gee, thanks."

"No, I have to say it to you since no one else will. You're an idiot. And you have to pick."

"Pick what?"

"A brother." I groan when he says this.

"Tell me who to pick."

"This is hard Blair. I'm friends with you, Grayson, and Jake. So I can't tell you who, it needs to be your decision."

"Do you have a pick?"

"Yes, there's an obvious one." Noah says before turning back to face the front. "You're just too blind to see it."

***

The car ride is long and tiring. By the time we get to the house, everyone is already getting ready to go to bed. The house, as expected, is huge and gorgeous. Gracie had shown me up to my room on the second floor.

And now I'm laying in bed. Just looking at the moving fan. I need to go see Jake.

Not only do I miss him, I need to talk to him. My heart beats, at the sound of knocking at me door. It's as if Jake read my mind.

I hurry to the door and open it up. I don't bother trying to mask the shock on my face. "Grayson?"

"I love you."

And now, I feel as if my world is exploding. "What?" I say shocked.

"I love you, so pick me."

Tears start to swell in my eyes. And all the memories from before start to resurface. "Don't do this Grayson."

"Come on bee, pick me." He reaches for the side of my face.

"This isn't fair." I start to cry, he's being selfish. He knows he's the bad choice for me, he knows everything he's done. "You know you have this hold on me, please don't do this."

"He was always the perfect one." Grayson starts to say with bitterness on his tongue. "Even as a drugged up, fucked up, son I'm rehab. He was the perfect one, and I was the one who ruined him. I always wanted to be him, always was jealous of him. And now? Now he has you, and I don't want that."

He goes to wipe the tears on my cheek, but I pull back. "But you don't want me."

"Yes I do." He says getting irritated.

"Leave." I say.

"No Blair, this isn't over." He goes to reach for me again, and I back away.

"I need time to think, please just leave."

"No Blair..."

A monotone voice cuts him off. "I think she wants you to leave little bro."

Grayson's tone turns into one of anger. "Jake, this has nothing to do with you."

"I think this has everything to do with me." He says in a cool tone. I look at him through my wet eyelashes. Of course, that's how he is. Playing coy, leaning against the doorframe, acting as if he didn't have a care in the world.

   "Jake." He says angrily.

   "Leave." I'm surprised when Grayson listens.

   Leaving just me, and Jake alone. Jake walks in and closes the door. "So," he starts. "Having secret rendezvous with my brother?"

   "What? No, he just came here. I didn't invite him I swear. I honestly thought..." he cuts me off with a laugh.

   "I'm just messing with you Blair Bear." He says brushing away the last dry tear.

   "Oh."

   "I thought we needed to talk, but I guess my brother beat me to it." He sighs sitting on the edge of the bed.  "So, what did he say?"

   Do I tell him? "He told me he loved me."

   He laughs sadly at that. "I guess that's something us Heart brothers just love to do."

   I scratch my neck at that, having no idea what to say. For some reason, I forgot that he told me that and I forgot I said thanks then leaving.

   "And do you love him?"

   My head snaps up in shock. That's not a fair question to ask. And it's not a simple one either. "Maybe, I don't know."

   He sighs, "Come on Blair."

   "Don't be an asshole."

   "You don't love him."

   "I could..." You can't just unlove someone so quickly, can you?

   "He's not the perfect guy you think he is, the guy you think you love doesn't even exist."

   "I know he's not perfect but..." What am I doing? Why am I defending him? He's done nothing but utter three words that could be untrue and treat me like shit.

   He sighs again, "What else did he say?"

   I bite my lip nervously. When do I draw the line on what and what not to tell him? "He told me to pick him." Jake groans and combs his hands through his hair.

   "And you said?"

   "Not to make me pick..." At least not yet, I should of said.

   "Are you kidding me? And why not?"

   "I just needed time to think." I defend myself. And now I realize that I sound utterly stupid.

   "Oh my god Blair, the fact you even have to think about the answer." Jake stands up and starts pacing. "We were practically dating for a month, talking for longer."

   "He was there for me Jake, what do you expect?" Grayson was there for me, and I think that's why he has such a hold. He was there when no one else was.

   "But I'm here for you now." He yells, "Does that mean nothing?" I wince hoping he didn't just wake up the entire house. "You're fucking with my head Blair, you're breaking me." He says in a lower voice.

   "I'm not trying to." I choke out. I hadn't notice the tears falling again until now.

   "Bullshit, pick." He has every right to be irritated. "You can't do this Blair. You can't keep pretending that you're fine being his second choice. And I can't keep pretending I'm fine being yours. So no more having open options, pick."

   "I can't." I cried. I need time, and no one will give me that.

   "You can't have both of us. You can't have me and him. He's my fucking brother Blair. My fucking brother and because of you I hate him. He ruined me, ruined my life. I had to worry about his ass, and not myself. He's the reason I got into drugs and all this shit. But I've never hated him for that. But now I feel like I do, because of you. Because you can't pick between us. And because how he makes you feel without even trying and how I wish I did."

   "Just give me time, please." I beg. His hard expression softens looking at my tears.

   "Ok," he sighs. "If you don't pick by the end of this weekend, I'll pick for you. You won't have to choose because you won't have me to choose from."

   I can't argue with him, because that's fair. That's a lot more than what I deserve. He sighs before going back on my bed.

   "Come on, get in." He says going under the covers.

   "What?" I asked confused.

   "You might not pick me, and that's ok. But just in case you don't, let me have this night. Just me and you laying down, not worrying about it."

   I walk up, and get into the bed next to him. He pulls me closer, and I lay my head on his chest.

   "Pick me Blair." He silently pleads.

   I sigh, moving my finger around his arm. "It's not that simple."

   "I know, but I'm here. Just a boy laying next to a girl he loves. Begging she loves him back."

•••